Honor
by content1
Summary: Love can find us in the strangest of places or perhaps at the most extraordinary of times. As the Cullens celebrate the life of Esme and Carlisle's son, James, Edward discovers that his little brother sent a present that just might change his life. Winner of the "Most Swoon-Worthy" Character in the Meet the Mate Contest.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

Honor was my entry into the Meet the Mate contest. I am so very honored to have received the "Most Swoon-Worthy Character" award for my Edward. It was an AMAZING contest with lots of good entries, and I truly thank all the moderators, banner makers, and other participants for their hard work. Special thanks to tinie432 who made me a banner for the story, and whichever banner maker did the one for the contest!

When I posted the story for the contest, I realized immediately that I'd sent the next to last edit after being told by my consultant to change Bella's rank from Captain to Major. UNFORTUNATELY, when I sent the entry, I sent the one that hadn't fully been changed. Face Palm. Hence, my total astonishment to receive any award. In addition, I received many comments about things in the story that individuals thought were inaccurate. The use of a white shirt under dress blues, the use of the word soldier instead of airman, allowing Bella to use the term Ooh Rah instead of Aim High (the Air Force rally call).

To those that commented/reviewed please know it was never my intention to bring disrespect to the Air Force or Airmen/women. So I appreciate (truly) you taking time to reference things you felt needed to be changed to make the story more accurate. In explanation I would like to add, I can only say that I was told by someone in high authority that a long sleeve white shirt was an acceptable dress option for dress blues (the flats that Bella wears aren't – but were what I can up with for an injured airwoman). As for the use of Airman versus soldier, I didn't think that many civilians would be as familiar with the term, so I went with soldier instead. I've changed that for this version (except for when Edward, a civilian, references an military individual). And as for the Ooh Rah, I was certain that not many would be familiar with Aim High. My consultant indicated it would be okay to use Ooh Rah in a room of mixed branches of service, but now that I can put a brief explanation, I've changed the ending to reflect the proper usage.

If, as an active or retired member of the services or family member, you see any other mistakes, please let me know. I say this because the integrity of this story is very important to me. Here is why - this story is dedicated to some very important people to me.

My brother, Philip, who has served almost 40 years in the United States Air Force. Bubba, thank you for always being there for me personally and for the many countless years of unselfish service in keeping my family and country safe. The Air Force will lose a great leader when you finally decide to hang up the hat.

My niece, Rebecca, who is following in her father's footsteps.

My father, C.M., who served in War War II in the Navy. The war stories I heard made my blood run cold, but made me proud to be called your daughter (Yes, I was an OOPS baby – and I won't tell you how old my dad was when I was born!). My uncles and aunts who also served in War War II in the Army and Marines.

Those families who lost loved ones on 9/11 and those who lost their lives serving as responders and heros that day. I will never forget seeing videos of the plane hitting the Pentagon and knowing my brother was inside . . . or those hours wondering if he was alive or dead.

Enough said.

~Honor~

 _Mr. and Mrs. Cullen,It is with great regret I must inform you that your son, Second Lieutenant James Hunter Cullen, is considered missing in action. His plane was reported shot down over Afghanistan. Search efforts have been initiated . . ._

Of course, there had been more to the letter - the appropriate praises and the assurance that all resources would be utilized to continue looking for Jamie until he was found. But while those promises served as a thread of human hope for Edward's family, the well-worn letter remained in a place of honor on his mother's kitchen countertop. It sat right beside the tattered bible she read from every morning over coffee where she implored a power higher than humans to give peace to her family, to bring Jamie home in some way.

Edward could quote the entire letter. He'd read it a hundred times, but it was those three sentences he recited in the darkest of hours. Jamie was his baby brother by many years. An "Oops Baby," Edward, Emmett, and Jasper always liked to tease their mother and father. It was no secret the Devil-May-Care Jamie had been conceived on a second honeymoon; one his parents had planned to celebrate surviving ten years of parenting three headstrong, rambunctious, and energetic boys. Emmett had been twelve when Jamie was born. Jasper was eleven. He and Emmett were Irish twins. Edward had been nine, just about to turn ten, when his father placed a squalling blue eyed baby in his arms and introduced him as James. But although the difference in their ages could have led to a distance between them, the three older Cullen boys had taken Jamie under their wings and molded him into a hellion . . . a hellion who had thought nothing of applying to the Air Force Academy and graduating with honors to go on to be a combat pilot. Afghanistan and the war had been his next great adventure . . . until the day his plane had been shot down and he'd disappeared from their lives in the same blaze of glory in which he'd arrived.

Laughter from the pool area reoriented Edward, making him aware he'd been gone too long from the party. Alice and Rose, Jasper's and Emmett's wives, would come looking for him soon if he didn't return. They'd brought friends hoping to play matchmaker, but Edward was doing all he could to avoid the possibility. He'd just secured a position at the University of Washington's Medical Center as a trauma surgeon, joining his hero - his father. After years of giving up everything to gain an internship that he could turn into a gold ticket, Edward wasn't ready to be forced into finding his mate, as his brothers and father like to call their wives, no matter what his mother and sister-in-laws thought. He'd had relationships, ways of satisfying the itch of a healthy male, but nothing to carry home. He had faith he'd meet the right one when the time was right, and he was in no hurry, regardless of how much his mother might want that time to be now.

Maybe when Jamie came home Edward would get his brother to set him up. Jamie always had a knack for finding the best women, ones you could trust, like, and lust over all at the same time.

After smoothing the tear stained letter against the cool marble of his mother's countertops, Edward moved to join the party, grabbing the fruit bowl and chips he'd been sent to retrieve. He'd gone only a few steps when the doorbell rang, diverting him from returning to the Fourth of July celebrations. Hoping beyond hope it wasn't another cute blonde invited by Rose, Edward set the food down to serve as the family's greeter.

 _No._ Was the only word he could think when he opened the door to find the two men in dress blue uniforms, their hats placed upon their heads with military precision, white gloved hands stiffly at their sides.

 _No._

~Honor~

 _Mr. and Mrs. Cullen,_

 _James was not only a good pilot but an outstanding Air Force officer. As his commander, I can assure you I've never met a finer man. Although it will bring you little comfort, I would like you to know that I considered him not only my airman, but my friend . . ._

 _Major I. Swan_

 _United States Air Force_

Major Swan's letter had been more comfort to the family than the commander could realize. Although, just like the original letter from the Air Force, Edward latched on to just three sentences to recite in the darkest hours. The Cullens had been given only small pieces of information when Jamie went missing, but upon the confirmation of his death, more of the story had been divulged. Jamie had been flying with his squadron of F-15 Eagle fighters on a routine mission when they'd fallen under enemy fire. Major Swan had attempted to divert the attack, but had been hit attempting to help Jamie. Both had gone down and had been considered missing in action, although the Cullens hadn't known a family so close to them, only a couple of hours away in a small town named Forks, had been suffering the same fate as theirs . . . waiting.

A group of Marines, looking for gun caches, had uncovered far more than the weapons. In a small dark hole in the ground, they'd found Major Swan along with Edward's dead brother. How long Jamie had been dead the authorities wouldn't say, but Edward wondered what horrors the major must have experienced during that time. All the family knew was that Major Swan had been taken to Germany to be treated for injuries. Edward suspected Post Traumatic Stress as well.

Now, almost six months later, the Cullen family prepared to bury Jamie's ashes. It had been a collective decision. Christmas was Jamie's favorite time of the year, so they'd delayed upon receiving his cremated remains. The plan had allowed the extended Cullen and Platt families to converge on Seattle. Jamie's friends from high school, the Academy, and even some of his squadron mates had come from all across the world to be at his remembrance ceremony, although to call it such was really a misnomer. It was to be a party, one Jamie would've been proud of. A fitting tribute to the boy who'd refused to grow up in many ways. Yes, there would be the speakers, the traditional casket covered with the flag, and Jamie's handsome picture in his dress blues smiling at them from beside it, but then there was to be a celebration of epic proportions. Their father, Carlisle, had rented an entire hotel to assure no one had to travel afterward.

While decorum was necessary, they would be celebrating Jamie in true Scots-Irish – true Cullen – fashion.

The only blight was that Major Swan had not been deemed medically fit to travel, or so the Air Force officer who would be speaking had informed them. It seemed the major had raised a fit to be released early in order to attend Jamie's funeral to no avail. Edward and his family had surmised the major had quite a temper from the way the Air Force official had flinched during the telling.

No matter, Edward, Emmett, and Jasper fully intended to meet Major Swan, to spend time with the person who'd been with Jamie in his final hours. What Major Swan could share with them, they weren't sure, but it was important to the Cullen brothers to show respect to Jamie's commanding officer.

The taps of drums and the eerie cry of the bagpipes brought Edward's mind back into focus. Jamie's funeral had turned into a spectacle with the city of Seattle "honoring" their fallen son. It didn't hurt that Carlisle's brothers and cousins were or had been firefighters in the city for generations, that Emmett was a major in the fire department, and that Jamie had served as a volunteer in his high school days and vacations from school. As such, Jamie was receiving the full due of a military and firefighter's funeral. Pulled by two black horses, the cart carrying Jamie's flag-draped coffin began its trip down Ninth Avenue behind the fire trucks and bagpipe/drum corp. For his final journey, Jamie was surrounded on three sides by the males of the large and extended Cullen family – kilts and all. It had been a long time since Edward had worn the tartan, but it felt good that he, his brothers, and father could tease each other about bony knees and cold balls – a favorite pastime of Jamie's. Their uncle, Aro, had won the unofficial competition for knobbiest knees. Although the old curmudgeon had given Emmett a middle finger salute for the distinction, it had been the inference Aro must be wearing flannels that had earned Emmett a slap to the back of the head. No self-respecting Cullen would wear anything under his kilt, even if an occasional snow-flake floated with the confetti already raining down on them.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

With the first notes of Amazing Grace from the pipes, the journey began.

~Honor~

The nave of the church was so crowded Edward doubted there was room to breathe. So many people had come to honor his brother and family. Beside him, his mother, Esme, lay her head against his father's shoulder. Further down the row, Emmett and Rosalie sat comforting their children, as did Jasper and Alice. While he could have felt left out, Edward took solace in the love of his family and friends. What surprised him was the multitude of uniforms present from other branches of service. Sure he'd known a fallen soldier was considered a loss for all, but for the men and women to come on such a wintry day, for this ceremony, had surprised him. Jamie would have enjoyed this. Not that he was being recognized, but that so many had come together for a celebration of life.

The priest stepped to the podium and began, the words rolling gently over Edward as he remembered his baby brother and reached over to take his mother's hand. The ceremony flowed with sweet stories and humor as those who'd been called on spoke. The man from the Air Force rose to conclude the service, but a gun-shot like bang at the back of the cathedral drew some flinches and everyone's attention. A low murmur of voices grew before the cause became apparent. A young woman, in the dress regalia of the Air Force, was being pushed forward in a wheelchair by a beast of a man. Native American, his long black hair fell down his back, his size only accentuating how tiny the woman was.

The stir her appearance caused was emphasized as several of the men scattered around the cathedral stood in salute.

Edward was mesmerized as she drew closer. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her dark brown hair twisted under her military issue hat, and the blue of her uniform highlighted the creaminess of her skin, making it appear like porcelain. The skirt ended at her knees, showcasing one leg wrapped in braces, the other ending – after what appeared miles of smooth flesh – in a flat blue slipper. Dark eyes stared ahead at Jamie's casket haunted by memories Edward wasn't sure he wanted to know.

The murmurs across the cathedral grew when the man who'd been sent by the Air Force hurried forward to meet the woman. He met her not far from where Edward stood, drawn by some force he couldn't explain.

"I don't care what they say," the woman spoke quietly in response to something the man had said. "I'm being honorably discharged, so what can they do?"

"Jake," she whispered, and the large man behind her nodded softly, pushing forward and almost running over the other man's toes.

"Major Swan," one of Jamie's flight brothers said with respect, drawing himself even taller into his salute. He'd taken a seat at the end of one of the pews behind the family.

"Lieutenant." She nodded, saluting back.

 _Major Swan? Major I. Swan?_

Edward felt a fool, having assumed the major was a man. The woman's eyes met Edward's and the world stood still. Chocolate. They reminded him of chocolate. Deep, rich, swirling chocolate that would melt against his tongue, filling his mouth with flavor. He wanted to go to her, to push the large man away and knock aside the other military man who walked nervously beside her.

Edward's heart beat drum like against the wall of his chest. She was so tiny, so fragile. _Broken_ , he thought, seeing the scars he'd overlooked at first. A line traced down the left side of her face from hairline to cheek. It had been stitched nicely, and with cosmetic surgery the scar would likely be smoothed, but it was a wound that could've caused death. Her thinness spoke of injury and weakness as clearly as the wheelchair and braces. Dark circles under her eyes bespoke nights of sleeplessness, origin unknown.

The doctor in Edward wanted to diagnose and heal. The man wanted to love and protect. Edward had never been hit with such conflicting and overwhelming emotions.

Major Swan's eyes never left him, even though she had to turn slightly as the Native American man brought her to stop in front of Jamie's coffin. He secured the wheelchair and went to reach for her, but she broke the connection with Edward and swatted at the man she'd called Jake.

What happened next would be forever imprinted into Edward's mind. Major Swan nudged the foot rests up, putting her hands on the arm rests. She pushed against them, and her arms wobbled from the strain. Edward willed her the energy to stand, praying her body wouldn't abandon her. A trickle of sweat beaded at her hairline before she managed to stand, her fellow service men and women doing so with her across the cathedral. Edward never thought to sit, remaining alongside those who had risen.

Reaching back, Major Swan waited for something from the man who had escorted her, and Edward notice the flash of gold on his left hand as he reached into the sack attached to the chair. A band released from around Edward's chest when he didn't notice a corresponding one on hers. From out of the bag, the man brought a white rose and a tattered hat. Edward swayed even as his mother gasped beside him. It was Jamie's, he was certain, the one he must have been wearing when he was shot down. The Native American man handed her the items along with a cane that hung from the back of the chair.

Moving at a snail's pace, Major Swan inched forward, the muscles of her face contorting with each step. Hunched over, she leaned heavily on the cane. After shuffling the last foot, she lay her fingertips against the red and white fabric covering the casket and closed her eyes. For a time, she remained in silent communion, tears rolling down her face before she laid the white rose across the flag. Edward grimaced as he saw her forcibly straighten, her body wobbling with the effort before she released the cane with her right hand, allowing it to rest against the coffin, and snapped to a salute. The noise of others doing the same within the cathedral was the only sound to disturb the moment.

Lips trembling, she turned slightly to locate Edward's parents, but the effort was too much, and she began to pitch forward. Edward lunged forward and caught her before her friend had a chance to move, holding her tiny form to his.

Their eyes met . . . and held.

"Edward?"

Her husky voice sent shivers across his skin, bringing to mind images that were totally inappropriate to be having in front of his brother's coffin while being watched by a thousand eyes. He could only nod at her question.

Her face brightened with a smile, mischief floating in her eyes. "I'm Isabella. Bella. Jamie told me so much about you."

He didn't respond, his mouth too dry to speak.

"I have something that he wanted me to make sure your mother received."

The hat hung limply from her hand, and Edward's keen medical eye and intuition recognized that she'd used every ounce of energy pulling herself up to salute Jamie. Without thought, he bent and put his arms under her, cradling her to him and stepping over to Carlisle and Esme.

Unlike the resistance she'd shown to receiving help from the others, Bella leaned loosely against his chest, her eyes watching him until they stood before his parents.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, Jamie made me promise to get this to you," she said, weakly lifting the hat.

His mother reached for Bella's hand, squeezing her fingers gently. Silent sobs wracked Edward's mother, his father supporting her as tears coursed his face.

"You must speak." Carlisle said, nodding toward the altar.

They'd known that Major Swan had wanted to be there, had wanted to give a eulogy, but fate had not allowed it. That she was here now could only be a miracle.

Edward felt her tremble and realized she mostly likely couldn't stand. Looking to the chair and the arched brows of her friend, he couldn't fathom letting go of her or confining her to the metal after her show of strength. Still holding her, he took the steps to the altar, catching the pleased look in the Native American man's eyes.

"What are you doing?" Bella whispered, her arms going around Edward's neck.

He smiled, gleefully when he heard her catch her breath. A second later, the microphone had been turned sideways, and Edward shifted the tiny woman in his arms, nodding toward the electronic device. "Tell them what you came to say," he said softly.

"I forgot my speech when I had to sneak out." A blush stained her cheeks.

"Then speak from your heart."

Bella's eye widened before Edward saw the steel reserve inside her take control. Here was Major Swan, leader of a group and men and women who'd no doubt seen more horror than Edward could imagine. She appeared to draw from that strength, and those who had stood sat as Bella collected her thoughts. Edward didn't imagine she'd last long, her honoring of Jamie taking its toll.

"We are here today to celebrate the life of Jamie Cullen."

She grinned as a shout of joy went up from all over, men and women pounding their feet on the floor in agreement. The noise was thunderous, filling the room with energy.

Laughter shook Bella's frail body. "Jamie was a rascal."

Emmett hooted on that one, sending out a "Preach it, sister."

"He was a daredevil."

Edward's mother's face cracked, a large smile smoothing her grief-stricken features as Carlisle hugged her.

"He was a man."

Jasper snickered even as Edward stiffened. Bella glanced up to Edward softly shaking her head. He relaxed only when she winked at him.

"But most of all, he was my friend and an airman."

Chants of "Huh, huh, huh, huh" resounded at her words.

"I'd never met a cockier son of a . . ." she paused, looking over to the priest as another delicate blush graced her cheeks " . . . gun in my life."

The priest's lips twitched. Edward grinned, as well. That was his brother Jamie. Assured of his place in life.

"But what I quickly learned, as I helped smooth some of those edges . . ." laughter broke out " . . . was that he was a man with a heart of gold." Bella looked to Carlisle and Esme. "He loved his family with a grace beyond compare. He loved his job like a crazy person, and he loved his country and the ideals under which he served."

The atmosphere had grown quiet. Not silent – not somber –as if it was the lull before the explosion.

"Much of what I knew about Jamie I can never share, not because of any need for secrecy, but because it would be difficult honor such a man with mere words. I spent months in hell with him. Months in which we shared our lives with one another in hopes that if one of us survived, we would remember, and by doing so become a part of each other. Jamie would say I saved his life, but I would disagree. He saved mine."

Bella's eyes darkened, making Edward freeze in fear of what had happened. Her limbs stiffened slightly before she took a deep breath in a way Edward recognized as a coached relaxation technique.

"Honor does not call for you to be the cockiest. It does not call for you to be the strongest. If wise, it feeds on fear, because fear is sometimes all you have left. Sometimes, honor is when all you can do is hold someone's hand."

Tears began rolling down her face, her breath becoming labored.

"It isn't about being the best man or woman. It is about being the best man or woman you can be with what you have."

Major Swan rested for a moment then attempted to speak several times only to stop. Edward was ready to step down, to give her a break, but something inside him told him to stay put. Weakness was not something Isabella "Bella" Swan appeared to entertain.

"There is no way to truly capture the essence of a man like Jamie. In conclusion, I guess there is only one thing to say that would honor him." Her voice had grown tired, and she lay in Edward's arms as fragile as a china doll. A gentle smile curved her lips before she weakly shouted, "Aim High!"

Pandemonium echoed through the cathedral as service men and women rose, shouts of "Ooh Rah!" and "Hoorah!" joining her battle cry. Firefighters from across the city stood, adding their company's chants, and even the police officers shouted out words that Edward couldn't decipher. His family had joined the revelers, chanting God only knows what. The sounds bounced along the high ceilings and walls, merging into a melody that gave life to the human spirit and banished the grief that had tried to destroy them.

This spirit, this human spirit, was something no evil could ever defeat.

 _Aim High,_ Edward thought, ignoring everyone and everything to satisfy his soul's craving. He leaned down to connect his lips to the woman's in his arms. Reality froze him just before they connected, fearful of the dark shadows he'd seen and what they could mean.

Bella gasped. Eyes wide, a glimmer of hope shimmering there, she brought her fingertips to Edward's lips, connecting them.

 _Jamie, did you know what you were doing?_ Edward wondered then smirked against Bella's fingers as he found the answer.

 _Aim High indeed._

~Honor~

AN – I originally wrote this as a true one-shot. Not really sure if there is any interest in it continuing, so I'll guess I'll let any reviews give me guidance.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

Here's a short chapter to transition from the one shot into a full story. I hope you enjoy it and thanks so much to Ocassye who betaed this and agree to help me with the rest of the story.

If you haven't already, go over and read the stories on the Tricks And Treats Contest (you have to put it in exactly like that as the author on FF). There are a several great stories up, but they are looking for some more entries. It's a great opportunity to have a little Halloween fun.

~Honor~

 _When the canopy blew off, wind rushed through the cockpit, driving the air from Bella's lungs. Precisely one moment later, the McConnell Douglas ejection seat sent her skyrocketing away from the doomed_ _aircraft_ _. But for her mask, she wouldn't have survived. Regardless of the precautions, it was likely she'd die anyway, considering the bullets zinging through the air, the debris, and the planes still littering the sky and zooming by at supersonic rate. Even if she were to make it to the ground, the landing was going to be a bitch._

 _Flipping over and over, she caught a quick glance of Jamie's parachute in the distance, freezing the slant of the sun and terrain in her brain. If she survived when she hit the ground, it would be the only hope in finding him. The deployment of the chute jerked, snapping her neck back so that she saw stars. Training, be damned, nothing prepared her for the real-life experience of being shot down. She'd been too low when the plane had been struck. The ground approached at a dizzying speed, slamming into her._

The pain was excruciating, pulling a scream from deep within and startling Isabella "Bella" Swan from her nightmare. Her discomfort was enhance by embarrassment as she realized Jacob, her best friend, had pulled his truck over to talk her through it.

"I'm taking you back to the rehab right now!" Jacob's voice was deep, almost a growl.

Bella squirmed under his dark-eyed glare. The movement didn't do anything positive for her pain, making the searing fire travel through her hip and into her heart. It was enough to make her feel like she was going to pass out.

"Jake, please. Just a few minutes at the celebration, and then you can return me to prison." Isabella held his gaze steadily even when the agony and exhaustion beckoned her to close her eyes.

"Should've never agreed to this harebrained scheme," he muttered, surrendering to her determination and plea.

Shaking his head before looking into the rear-view mirror, Jacob slowly pulled back onto the road only to grin as a silver Volvo fell back in line behind them.

"Your determination wouldn't have anything to do with a certain young doctor, would it?"

Isabella felt the heat of the blush turning her cheeks the color of tomatoes. "Um . . ."

Jacob's deep booming laughter filled the small cab.

"Damn, Jake, what am I thinking? Just take me back to hell. It's not like he can touch me or anything. There's no reason to encourage him." Bella punched the pillow she'd fallen asleep against, pushing it further into the crevice between the seat and window. Instead of rejuvenating her, the catnap had only served to fuel Isabella's horrors.

"You've done too much, and going to this party isn't what you need physically, but I'm thinking the other benefits may be worth it." He waggled his eyes at Bella.

Pain sliced through Isabella's head as ghosts of cruel hands and torment taunted her sanity. Sucking several deep breaths in, she allowed them to ease the tight band wrapped around her chest.

"Bells?"

When Isabella was able to open her eyes, it was to see that her best friend had placed his hand on the seat beside her, palm up. Before, Jacob Black wouldn't have hesitated to wrap Isabella Swan up in a tight hug. Now that form of comfort was akin to torture. When Isabella finally slid her cold fingers into his grasp, Jacob softly squeezed them.

"Might I mention the observation that Edward was able to hold you?"

Heat filled Isabella's cheeks again, giving the blush of life to her thin face. Jacob chuckled at her silence. It was a very hopeful thing indeed.

The entrance to the Courtyard Marriot loomed before them within a few minutes, the bright lights shining out across the snow covering the ground. The cold weather was, at least, being thwarted by the portico, providing some refuge to those exiting their vehicles.

"You sure you're ready for this?" Jacob's voice was comforting.

Bella Swan looked over to her best friend and smiled. "Yeah, as long as you help me get out of this truck without busting my ass."

"Sure. Sure." His chuckle made her smile, chasing the demons of her nightmares aware.

Bella knew some psychological gurus would say her occasional reliance on Jacob was unhealthy, but they hadn't been there. She and Jake had been buddies since diapers. She'd helped him through his breakup with Leah, then through them getting back together, through another break up, before Bella had taken a plastic bat to Jacob's head. She'd then stood as his best woman when he married his sweetheart. Bella had been at the hospital for the births of their two kids and the death of Jacob's father. So, if, when things got really bad, she retreated to their home for days, the gurus could just go suck it. Carol, her therapist, had given her the okay, so that was all it mattered

There was so much life in the Black household, and Bella had seen too much death. Jamie's last moments threatened to overwhelm her, and Bella had to take a deep breath, releasing it slowly. Thankfully, Jacob opened her door, distracting her.

"Sir, you can't park there." A nicely dressed doorman approached them, then retreated a few steps when Jacob stood to his full height.

 _Yeah, Buddy, you'd better back up._ Bella snickered at her internal thought.

"So, here's how we are going to do this. I'm going to get my friend's wheelchair. I'm going to lift her into it. When I'm done, she can make her way inside. Then, and only then, will I move my truck. Got it?"

Jacob's arched brow challenged the man to be brave. The doorman failed the test, hovering nervously a few feet away.

Jacob was unfolding the chair when Edward Cullen appeared. Bella caught the silver blur of his car as it slowly pulled by with a valet behind the wheel, but her focus was on the unbelievably beautiful man standing beside Jacob. Tall and slender, Edward had the appearance of a swimmer, where Jake was built to dominate the gridiron. Edward's light complexion was a dramatic contrast to his copper hair and bright green eyes. Jacob's russet skin was as warm as his dark brown eyes. Their differences couldn't be more vivid.

"What can I do to help?" he asked in a delicious voice. Bella let the sound wash over her, tingling her senses. It felt like the slide of velvet over your skin.

"You can keep an eye on this hellion while I go park the truck," Jacob suggested, turning his eyes back toward the doorman.

The poor guy stepped back even further.

"Charlie's going to kill me when he finds out I was part of this lunacy, but at least if he knows I didn't leave her unattended, Leah will have something left of me to bury."

Bella's hearty laughter spilled out of the cab of the truck at Jacob's disgruntled words.

"Charlie? Leah?" Edward's attention jumped between Bella and Jacob.

"Charlie is Bella's dad. Leah's my wife." Jacob's grin was all teeth. "If I live through Charlie, Leah will make it worth my while. She and Bella _were_ the ones to come up with this scheme."

The light of laugher died in Bella's face. "Because she understood how important it was."

Jacob waited for her to take several breaths. "You ready, Bells."

When she touched his shoulders with the tip of her fingers, he moved slowly, easing his hands under Bella's leg and behind her back through the stilted silence. This was when she usually had difficulties. . . times when she was required to make physical contact with someone. Even as tenderly as Jacob touched her, the pain from her throbbing leg was too much, causing her to cry out as he lifted her out of the truck and placed her in the chair. Bella straightened herself out, attempting not to note the stricken look on Edward's face as she tucked the blanket Jacob had handed her around her legs. Bella took a deep breath of the frigid air to help her snap through the haze of pain.

When Edward knelt beside her, she couldn't help but stare. He had the most beautiful eyes, eyes that let you see their curiosity, hope, and need. Not eyes shattered by pain or dulled by death. She couldn't look away.

"Are you sure about this? I mean, I want you here, but not at the cost of making you uncomfortable."

"No, I'm fine. I just won't be able to stay long."

"You're certain?"

"Yes, dad." It wasn't very mature of Isabella to answer that way, but it was familiar. She and Jake had always joked in this manner, and it seemed second nature. The fact she'd felt comfortable enough to tease Edward in this way was not lost on her.

Edward's smile was blinding as he stood. The action drew Bella's attention to the length of naked leg between the end of the tartan he was wearing and the dark boots encasing his feet. Distracted, she almost missed his next words.

"Shall I push, or do you want to?"

Bella breathed a sigh of relief at being asked. One thing she'd learned since being dependent on a wheelchair for her main mode of transportation was that people either assumed you were totally disabled or an independence freak. It was so much easier if they just asked how they could help.

"Do you mind?" she asked, nudging her head toward the handles. "I'm a wreck."

Edward disagreed with her assessment, but knew better than to argue. If he had his way, and he was going to do everything to have his way, he and Major Swan were going to get to know each other much better. But it would take lots of baby steps to get to his desired destination. Expertly turning her, he took the first one.

The hotel had combined three of its mid-sized conference rooms to make a ballroom sized area. Within, the space had been loosely arranged around a free bar, an eating space with finger foods and tables, and a dance floor.

Bella laughed when she heard the music. "Grunge!"

Edward smiled at her enthusiasm for Nirvana. "For the longest, Jamie wanted to be the next Kurt Cobain. When he was seven, he refused to cut his hair for two years so he could have the dirty, unwashed look. My mom almost had a heart attack before he grew out of it. But he never lost his love for the Seattle 10."

"Seattle 10?" Bella looked back at Edward, her eyebrow raised.

"Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Screaming Trees, Green River, Mother Love Bone, Temple of the Dog, MudHoney, and Candlebox."

"Wow." She shook her head dramatically. "I didn't give Jamie enough crap about his taste in music. He was always making the squadron listen to Train."

Loud laughter erupted from a group of soldiers standing by the bar pulling their attention that way. Isabella chuckled at the group. "The tall one in the Air Force uniform. . . with the dark crew cut?"

"Yeah?" Edward glanced over to the partiers.

"That's Thumper."

Weaving them through several of the tables, Edward chuckled softly. "Should I ask how he got his name?

She turned back to look at him, and he exhaled softly in pleasure. Twinkling, her eyes spoke of deviltry. "Probably not. You don't have any unwed cousins do you?"

"No."

"Then everything will be okay." She waggled her eyebrows at him.

He burst out in laughter, and the sound brought a multitude of astonished stares from the people at the table Bella and Edward stopped before. Carlisle rose from where he sat with his wife and greeted Bella. Going to his knees, like Edward had done, he smiled gently.

"My son has already asked whether you should be here, right?"

Isabella nodded. "Nagged."

"Pardon!" Edward gasped, putting his hand to his heart like her words had wounded him.

"He's a good one like that. Just has to be reminded he isn't the boss of everyone when he isn't in the operating room." Carlisle cracked a grin as Bella tried to hold in the laughter. The others at the table had no such compulsion, and Edward threw them all nasty looks.

"Wow, dad. Go for the jugular." Edward winked at Bella. "I'm going to go get you a plate of food. Anything you don't like?"

At Isabella's head shake, he left her to his family.

When Edward returned with two plates, Jacob had joined the group, sitting to one side of Bella, an empty seat left on her other side for him. Sliding the food in front of her, he held a Universale Pale Ale up for Jacob's approval.

"Thanks man! Since I have to drive, one's my limit. But this is perfect."

"Bella, can I get you anything else? And what to drink?"

Her eyes still rounded at the amount of food on the two plates he'd brought her, she mumbled, "Just water, please." Suddenly starving, she picked up a perfectly cook lamb chop as Jacob followed Edward to the buffet.

"Is she going to get in a lot of trouble for sneaking out of rehab?" Edward asked Jacob as soon as they were far enough away.

The taller man snorted. "Probably, but she doesn't care. Other than a few short visits home, she's been either in the hospital for surgeries or therapy for the past five months. She wants to be released, but the physical terrorist won't sign off until she is stronger."

"They're letting her retire?" Edward asked as he piled his plate full.

"More like making her." At Edward's arched eyebrow, Jacob continued. "They gave her the option of honorable discharge or a desk job."

"So, for Bella, there really is only one choice."

Jacob arched his eyebrow at Edward. "Seems you've figured her out pretty quickly."

Edward grinned back. "God forbid I think that. She'd probably hand me my ass. It's apparent she's used to being active. I imagine being behind a desk would be the last job she wanted."

Jacob assessed the man beside him, and Edward patiently submitted to his perusal. Finally, Jacob nodded softly, the tight lines around his eyes softening.

"You may be the right one for her, Cullen. But take this as a warning. Hurt her, and I'll be the one handing you your ass." Jacob's words were soft, but the underlying intent was there.

Undisturbed, Edward Cullen simply nodded.

Returning to the table, they found the family and Isabella in a lively discussion. While the subject of Jamie was never broached, the Cullens grew to know Isabella as she learned more about the individuals who he'd talked about during their days of captivity.

~Honor~

The DJ might have played a large selection of grunge in Jamie's honor, but within a couple of hours, he had most of the celebrants, including the priest, on the floor with his mixes.

The two exceptions were Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan. Slumped over in her wheel chair, Isabella Swan unknowingly rested her head on Edward's shoulder, her hand having reached for his, interlinking their fingers. Unwilling to move an inch, Edward remained perfectly still as the woman beside him slept. He'd been worried when she'd dozed off the position would cause her pain, but Jacob reassured him she often slept propped.

He watched her greedily knowing she would have to leave soon, to go back to her spot at the rehabilitation center. So he schemed as she rested softly against him and he brushed his thumb gently against her wrist. She was going to need a location in Seattle to be released to, a safe haven from which to continue with outpatient treatment. Fortunately, he had just the place.

While prepared to feel sad when Bella departed, he hadn't been quite prepared to feel as if his chest was being ripped wide open when the door to Jacob's truck shut with a clang. He had Bella's number and her agreement to allowing him to bring her lunch on his next day off. Still, he already missed her. Raising his hand in silent goodbye, Edward stood a little taller when she raised her hand back, wiggling her fingers at him. The brightness of his smile was only surpassed by hers, and the hole in his chest closed, wrapped in the feeling of connection.

He watched as Jacob's grey truck was quickly engulfed in the flurries.

~Honor~

AN: Hope I did the story justice as we continue.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

Thanks so much to beachcomberlc and Ocassye who preread and betaed this for me. I will attempt to post consistently, but unlike my other fic in progress, I don't have chapters written ahead. I apologize, but remember, I have a full-time job, part-time job, and seven kids (eight if you include my husband). Writing is my stress-reduction technique!

If you haven't already, go over and read the stories on the Tricks And Treats Contest (you have to put it in exactly like that as the author on FF). There are a several great stories up (including one of mine - snicker), and the voting has begun. Also, consider writing something for the Red Eyed Edward contest. There are some very bad Edwards in that group, but I would love to see what you mind comes up with as a one-shot.

Also, I usually reply to every review, but my newest kitten decided to pounce on my computer (I'm assuming) and sent all my reviews to the trash pile. By the time I realized what had happened (yes, I'm still assuming it was the kitten and not a content1 problem), my server had deleted the deleted emails. Sigh . . . I will respond this week!

~Honor~

Sweat poured down Bella's face, dripping off her chin.

"C'mon Bella, just a few more feet." Jane, the physical therapist, smiled gently, but her tone was all bite.

Childlike, her stature was no indication of her determination and professional capabilities. Considered one of the best, her services were hard to come by, but the blonde beauty had taken a look at Isabella Swan's file and volunteered.

Struggling to lift her injured leg another inch, Bella felt the sting of tears. Risking falling, she let go of one side of the parallel bars and angrily dashed the drops away. Fire raced through her hip, making her breath come in pants.

When her foot slapped the floor in perfect alignment, she wanted to shout in victory. For the first time, she'd made it the entire way down the bars and back. The damn wheelchair had never looked so inviting. Turning on her good foot, she lowered herself into the contraption, refusing, although her arms shook like wet noodles, to show one ounce of weakness by plopping into it.

"Take that, bitch," she snarled at Jane, causing the both of them to burst out in laughter.

"Very few people could get away with calling me that," Jane replied with an arched eyebrow.

"You love me and you know it." Bella's snark was delivered with just the right amount of spunk.

"Sorry, babe, but you don't have the right equipment for me," Jane teased back as she came to help Bella get the brakes loose. She sniffed loudly when she bent down to do so. "And you stink to high heavens."

Bella grinned, knowing she did. She was a big, sweaty mess. But she was a big, sweaty mess one step closer to busting out of rehab for real.

"Was it better or worse this time?" Jane's question came as she knocked the footrests down for Bella.

"Still hurt like hell." Bella shifted, grimacing as her leg zinged her for it. "But I think maybe Dante's first or second level, not like where he put Judas."

Jane chuckled at Bella's acerbic wit.

"Well, I heard from the little birdies around here that you have a date tonight, with a young doctor one of the nurses, who moonlights over at the hospital, described as 'Hot as Hell.' So you might want to go clean up. Because girlfriend, you smell worse than my kid brother Alec's room, and he's one nasty monster."

"Have you ever been told your bedside manners are lacking? If you haven't, it's probably because everyone is afraid of your bitch glare. So, let me be the first to tell you . . . you suck."

"I know, sweetie. I know. But Felix likes that I do, so . . ." She shrugged.

Cackling in glee at Jane's sarcasm, Bella took a deep breath and wished she hadn't. She did stink.

Expertly maneuvering the chair backwards, she watched as Jane picked up her bag. "You have any thought as to when you're going to sign my hall pass to leave this fine establishment?"

Shaking her head at Bella's persistence, Jane offered a crumb. "Show me you can walk that distance consistently over the next week, and I'll even spring for bail."

A broad smile spread across Isabella's face. "Well, I guess that means I've gotta find some unknowing soul to take me on, huh?"

Jane rolled her eyes as they began moving toward the door. "I pity the person."

~Honor~

Three hours, a nap, and a shower later, Bella fidgeted with the bottom of her sweater. She'd blown her hair dry and then fussed over her makeup. Her jeans and sweater were stylish but comfortable. Reclining in a real chair, instead of the metal contraption mocking her from a few feet away, she held a cold bottle of water with drops of condensation slowly making their way down.

She was the picture of serenity.

It was a sham.

Her heart raced, and she worried she would break out into a sweat at any moment, ruining all the effort she'd put into getting cleaned up. When the tight band began to squeeze at her chest, Bella took a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Panicking as she felt the anxiety attack coming on, she frantically looked for something to focus on. Outside on a limb, a chickadee skipped from branch to branch, drawing her attention. It took flight, spreading its black wings and moving over the snowy ground.

 _A grey bird skimmed across the sand. The heat rising off the earth shimmered, making the bird's path appear jerky. Isabella's mouth was so dry her tongue was swollen and her hip ached from where she'd crashed into the ground, but the men taunting them from behind could care less. Broken, choppy sounds were shouted at James Cullen and her as they were forced to march in broiling temperatures._

 _Jamie had a large gash on his head, and Isabella worried he had a concussion. Not unlike the girls who usually flocked around him, a horde of gnats swarmed around her friend. And like most of the girls, the gnats were bloodsuckers, feasting off him._

" _Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far, far away from here." Jenny's quote from Forrest Gump flashed through Isabella's mind as several of the birds took flight. The movie was one of her father's favorites, and one they'd watched many times together._

" _Jamie, you okay?" She asked when she saw him stumble. A sharp series of words from the men advised her of their displeasure. Duly warned, she didn't even flinch when a bullet hit near her foot, kicking up sand. Instead, she turned around to glare at the worthless bastards._

" _Bella, don't antagonize them." Jamie shook his head at her when she glanced back to him._

"Bella."

"Bella!"

Isabella snapped straight up, the movement making her breath catch painfully. One of the nurses stood before her, and it would seem she had called Isabella's name several times if the cross look on her face was any indication.

"You have company."

Standing at the door of the facility's excuse for a family room, Edward waited. Wearing a pair of faded jeans and a green button down shirt that highlighted his eyes and contrasted nicely with his copper hair, he looked more model than doctor to Isabella. He was carrying a large bag, several plastic ones, and a soft smile.

Nervous he'd caught her staring off into space, Isabella made a great show of pulling a blanket over her lap as he approached. Angry with herself, she wondered how this man could make her so nervous, when she could command a squadron of testosterone-fueled males without batting an eye.

"Bella."

The way Edward said Isabella's name was like a caress, and she shivered. Placing the bags on the beat-up wood table, he came to stand beside her, slowly reaching for her hand. He was giving her time to stop him before he linked their fingers and squeezed gently. Like a really good drug, the action calmed her, making her sink boneless into the chair she'd chosen by the window.

"Hey!" she said softly. The man seemed to reduce her to one word replies.

"Hey." He grinned. "I can't tell you how long the last three days have seemed. It's been crazy at the hospital and usually that makes the day go by fast, but not this time." A faint blush tinged his pale cheeks. It should have made him appear feminine, but instead, Isabella was intrigued with this man who could so easily show his feelings.

"I brought dinner. I'd like to say I cooked it, but I didn't." He chuckled, as did Bella. "I'm a fairly good cook, when I have the time. However, I didn't want to waste hours in the kitchen, when I could be here."

His forwardness made her blush.

"You hungry?" he asked.

Her growling stomach answered him.

"I could make plates and bring them here," he offered, nodding to the end table beside her chair.

"No, Jane, my physical terrorist, has given me the okay to keep walking short distances. I'd rather sit at the table."

"Need my help?" he offered, squeezing her hand again and reminding her she hadn't let go of him.

"Can you spot me?" Bella hated asking for the favor, but there was no way she wanted to fall and further injure her healing leg and hip. Edward had already proven quick on his feet, and the man had no problems carrying her. She was still impressed he'd held her the entire time she talked to the group at Jamie's funeral . . . and that his touch hadn't sent her into spasms of terror.

Her progress was slow. It took effort to get up from the chair and then stabilize on the cane. The new hip the doctors had given her was working great, but it was the prosthetic femur that hurt. The doctors had saved several inches of bone above her knee, sliding the Stryker replacement into it.

Edward walked slowly just to the side and slightly behind her.

"You're pretty good at this," Isabella teased him. "Don't doctors usually leave care taking the patients to the nurses?"

He barked out a short laugh before responding. "I worked in the hospital during undergrad to get brownie points for my application to med school. I did several years in physical therapy as an aide. It was a great place to get experience, because I could work with open wound care under the supervision of the PT."

"Jamie told me you're a trauma surgeon." At his nod, Isabella continued. "So I take it from your comment you've always had a fascination with blood and guts?"

He chuckled again. "Yeah, you could say that."

He slid one of the armed chairs out, giving Isabella hand-holds to lower. "If I ask any personal questions you aren't comfortable with, just tell me, okay?"

"'Kay."

"You had a hip replacement?"

"Yeah, and almost total femur replacement as well. I'll set off all the alarms at the airport with the titanium I have in me."

Nodding, he grinned. "Your recovery seems . . ." he grimaced " . . . delayed." Edward hurried on to explain. "I just mean, if it was done in Germany, you should've had more relief by now."

Isabella lowered to the chair before answering. "I was being stubborn. I wanted to see if they could save my leg, but infection set in. It was either amputation or replacement. The orthopedic surgeon did a great job, but it almost didn't work because I'd stalled them too long. It was a battle between the infection and the antibiotics, but it worked. Unfortunately, because I couldn't get right into therapy, the muscles didn't get the exercise they needed to attach properly. We're working on it now. At least the doc says the bone is already starting to calcify around the implant. So, I have that to be grateful for."

"I'm no specialist in orthopedics, like you said, I'm a blood and guts guy . . ." he smirked causing Isabella's heart to flutter " . . . but from what I've read in the journals, that seems to be a good sign. I would call it a blessing considering how long you were imprisoned with an injured leg."

Isabella paled. Seeing her reaction, Edward knelt beside her chair, placing his hand on the table beside hers, but not touching. He counted two repetitions of ten breaths each before Isabella came back to him.

In a small voice, she said, "I hurt my hip when I landed, but the leg injury came later."

Edward remained absolutely still and watched while her dilated pupils slowly returned to normal.

Tears threatened to spill down her face, but he watched as Isabella focused and by sheer willpower managed them. She glanced away before speaking. "You see what you're up against. Are you sure it's worth it?"

Waiting patiently for her to look at him, Edward only spoke when she met his eyes. "I see an extraordinarily beautiful woman inside and out. One who, through courage, made it out of hell. Those things they did to you, forced you to do —those aren't your legacy, Bella. You were the victim of whatever torture they inflicted, but you won't be a victim of the aftermath. I see that strength in you."

Bella let a breath out and smiled. Her lips trembled, but it was a genuine one.

"You're talking with someone, right?" he asked her.

"Yeah. She's great."

"Good." He rose and reached for the bags of food. "And by the way, you're totally worth it."

He flashed a big smile that caused Isabella's heart to race.

While Isabella fought to control her reaction to him, Edward took several serving trays out of the bags, and set two bottles of water before her. The first tray contained a salad with spinach, strawberries, and walnuts. The second hot rolls, and the third, pasta with shrimp, sun dried tomatoes, black beans, and a red sauce.

"When I was getting you more food at the party, Jacob told me you like seafood and spice." He raised an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah."

"Then you're going to love this. A friend of mine from high school started a small restaurant downtown. He's going to have to expand soon, because he can't keep up with the demand. You'll see why in a minute.

The spicy smell of the marinara blended well with the shrimp, and Bella's mouth watered.

"Do you say blessing?" Edward asked softly as he sat by her.

"I did when I was with Jamie. He was quite insistent."

Edward smiled, but it was bittersweet, pulling to the side slightly. "Thank you," he said. "That's nice to know." He looked down at his plate for a moment, and Isabella remained quiet. "With four boys, mom said the dinner table was always like the survival of the fittest. She made us wait until everyone had been served before we said grace."

"The last thing Jamie said was a prayer."

Isabella had been able to stop the tears when she'd been scared. She'd dashed them away during physical therapy, but she couldn't hold back remembering that night. Shaking from rage before she was through, she sniffed, trying to get her emotions under control.

Edward gently patted her cheeks dry with a napkin before wiping at his eyes.

"That's even better to know." His voice was rough, his throat raw-sounding. Clearing his throat, he said, "One day, when you can, I'd like to hear about it."

His request was so sincere she didn't panic. It was clear he would wait until she was ready.

"Now, enough of the 'heavy' as my niece would say. I want to know about you," he teased as he used a large fork and spoon to serve her salad and a roll.

He followed with a plate full of the pasta, surprising Bella when he expertly twirled some of it around a fork and speared a small shrimp. Holding it out to her lips, he tapped them gently. "Open up. The first thing I want to know is if I guessed your taste buds correctly."

Bella's eyes widened as the flavors burst across her tongue. "Oh my God," she mumbled behind the cover of her hand as the zing of red pepper mixed with the shrimp and black beans. Closing her eyes, she chewed the tender pasta.

"Good huh?"

He actually smirked at her, and it was so much like Jamie she thought she'd freeze, but instead she felt warmth spreading through her chest.

"Gimme," she ordered, pointing to the fork and all but snatching it from him when he handed it over and pushed the plate toward her.

"It's really good with a fresh white wine. We get you off those pain killers, and I'll order us a bottle."

~Honor~

"So I take it from your clean plate I did okay with the choice of food?" Edward swiped the rest of the sauce with his last bite of bread.

"Yes! If I ate like that every day, I'd gain back the weight my doctor is harping about." Isabella rolled her eyes at Edward's grin.

Intent on eating, they'd enjoyed the meal in silence, watching the birds flock to the feeder just outside the window. The colors of the wrens, cardinals, and chickadees had been startling against the white snow, and they'd both laughed seeing the small creatures bouncing around as others knocked seeds from the feeder down onto the icy wonderland.

She narrowed her eyes at him as he laughed. "Are you normally one to watch everything you eat?" Edward asked as he leaned down to retrieve another bag.

"No, not really. With all the conditioning, I typically burn everything off. I'm sure at some point I'll have to start counting calories, but for now, I'm just enjoying."

He smirked, putting the bag between them and reaching in for the last container. "Good, because I'm a big Seahawks fan, and I'm thinking there may be more than one occasion where we need to enjoy some wings, fries, and beer in front of the big screen."

Bella's eyes widened, her napkin at her lips. "My dad's going to love you."

Edward shrugged. "He's invited too, but I have to warn you Jasper, Emmett, and I are rowdy when it comes to football. Rose and Alice have to jerk us in line."

"And your dad?" Bella asked.

Grinning, he admitted, "Mom's the football fanatic. Dad watches because she does, but he pays more attention to her than the game." He shook his head. "It's actually embarrassing at their age."

Smiling at his description of the family, Bella looked down to the bag and arched her eyebrow.

"While I'm glad to hear you can put away some wings and greasy fries, I asked the question because I was hoping you wouldn't miss out on this."

Edward made a great show of opening the container and presenting it to her. A large slab of tiramisu sat next to a rich chocolate pound cake, and a slice of Italian cream cake rested against a huge brownie drizzled in chocolate.

"Damn, did you bring you some?" Bella's tone was dead serious as she eyed the container, causing Edward to snicker.

"I'll only eat a bite or two," he pledged, affecting a very solemn tone as he placed his hand over his heart.

She eyed him, then the box. "Pfft. I guess I can let you have a little."

Bella moaned as the tiramisu melted in her mouth, and she caught Edward watching her with hooded eyes. Awareness made her flush, but he didn't make any moves to draw closer. The desire between them was intense, and Isabella felt goose bumps rising on her arms. Chewing on the side of her lip, she remained still, letting the feelings wash over her. It had been a long time since she hadn't felt panic at the least hint of sex. The air between them grew thick with anticipation. Just as Isabella thought she'd scream, another patient walked into the room, breaking the tension as she puttered over to one of the chairs and turned on the television.

Smirking at the interruption, Edward pushed the rest of the desserts toward Bella. "Of course, for us to go on a real date we have to get you out of here."

Bella glanced to the woman at the other end of the room, half upset, half relieved. She grinned at Edward. "Kinda ruined the moment, right?"

"Absolutely not. I'm just enjoying being here with you. Has the doctor given you a release date?" Edward asked as he began packing up the trash.

"In a week, if I keep my fitness levels the same or better. My PT is really the one calling the shots right now, and that's what she's been telling me."

"Have you found a place nearby?" he asked.

"No, not yet." She shrugged. "I've done some internet tours of a couple of places, and my dad came up last weekend and visited some others for me, but nothing has passed his rigorous requirements. My dad's super picky; it comes with being a cop, I guess."

"I bet."

Bella noticed him shifting in his seat. When he caught her observing him, he grinned like a little boy getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "A friend of mine has a place he'd sublease near here. I thought about it immediately when Jacob mentioned you'd be looking. It's on the ground floor, the security is good, they have an indoor pool, and the space is already equipped for a wheelchair."

"Why is it wheelchair accessible?"

"Mike was hit by a drunk driver several years ago. He was left paralyzed from the waist down. When he got out of rehab, he was looking for something he could design around his needs and was able to score a nice unit in a gentrified warehouse project just down the road from here. It's in a good area, has a small private garden, and it's close to public transportation."

"It sounds too good to be true." Bella frowned. "Why do I get the sense it is?"

"Well, there is one catch." His mischievous smile grew a little bigger. "Your across-the-hallway neighbor might become a pest."

"How so?"

"Well, he's this slightly OCD emergency room doctor who works weird shifts at the hospital. Not so much a party animal as a party pooper."

"Hmm . . ." Bella let him sweat for a moment, while she calmed her raging heart. "Sounds like this place has more than one thing to recommend it. Furnished or unfurnished?" she asked.

"Unfurnished. Mike's job transferred him to Texas, so he took everything. He thought about selling the place, but decided to hold off until he knew for sure he was going to remain in Dallas. I go over and check on it every couple of days for him to make sure there aren't any problems. Give your dad my number, and I'll let him check it out, and I can text some pictures if you'd like."

"That would be great." She didn't know what to say. The thought of him being so near was thrilling and scary at the same time. What if it didn't work out between them? What if she freaked out, and he heard her? What if . . .

"Bella."

She focused on him and the sound of her name.

"Stop thinking of what can go wrong. I mean, the worst possible scenario is you have this really great place to live and you ignore the neighbor."

Isabella wanted to snort at his naiveté. Long, tall, cool drink he was, he had no clue he was driving her crazy. She wanted to kiss him, run her tongue across his skin, and trace his muscles with her fingers. Well, when she wasn't freaking out. She doubted ignoring him would be in the cards, but she didn't argue for the moment.

"Are you tired?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"I brought some movies, since the nurse in charge told me they had a DVD player, but it looks like the television is occupied—"

"It's all good, what did you bring?" the woman asked, revealing she'd been listening to their conversation all along.

Snickering, Bella shook her head.

As if it was the most normal thing in the world to watch a movie with a stranger, Edward rattled off a list of comedies.

Bella would have expected action flicks, but wondered if he might be attempting to avoid anything that might startle her. The old woman cackled when he mentioned National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Moving to a couch closer to the screen, Bella sat down while Edward put the disc in. He winked when he joined her, just an inch away from touching. From the satchel he pulled out more waters, Twizzlers, and Milk Duds.

"Just how much information were you able to get from Jacob?" Bella asked as she snatched the Twizzlers out of his hands.

"It's a secret," he said very dramatically as he pushed back against the worn cushions of the couch.

Isabella opened her mouth to say more, but Edward laid his finger across her lips to shush her. The contact shocked them both, and Edward quickly pulled away.

"Sorry."

Bella's index finger traced her lips, the tingling sensation making her crazy.

"I'm not." The heat was back between them, electrifying the air.

"We going to watch the movie, or am I going to watch you two make out?" The elderly lady interjected, ruining the mood again.

Chuckling, Edward made a motion as if he was zipping his lips, before glancing slightly over to Bella with a smirk.

It was several hours later when Edward wheeled Bella to the door of her room. They'd laughed hysterically over Chevy Chase's antics to only add to the craziness by watching Will Ferrell in Elf. Edward hated to end the day, but Bella's wide yawns, although she attempted to hide them, told him she needed to rest. He nodded politely to the other patients lining the hall of the facility before handing her the last of the Twizzlers.

"I enjoyed my evening." He shifted the bag he'd carried with the movies and snacks to his back.

Bella's eyes were wide, hope and fear wrapped up in chocolate. He took her hand in his, but instead of squeezing, Edward bent slightly, slowly bringing it to his lips. He watched for any signs of distress before softly brushing his lips across her knuckles.

Hearing her gasp, he froze, waiting for her to make the next move. When she tugged softly, he let go, fully expecting her to drop her hand. So when she ran her fingertips across his lips, then chin before doing so, he couldn't stop from grinning at the warmth filling his chest.

"I'm not off for another three days. Do you think by then you could convince your therapist to give you a day pass?" he asked.

"Tired of sharing our date with Mildred?" she asked, a giggle in her tone.

"Well, she's a nice lady and all, but I'm a one-woman man." He waited for her comeback.

"I'll do my best to convince Jane, perhaps if she knows that to deny me would mean a decline in your moral character, she might agree."

He nodded as seriously as he could with the broad smile covering his face. "It would be much appreciated." His gaze wandered over her face. "Good night, Bella."

She sighed. "Good night, Edward."

Even Sarah, who was as old as dirt, ogled his rear end as he walked away.

~Honor~

Would love to know your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

Thanks so much to beachcomberlc and Ocassye who preread and betaed this for me. I couldn't do it without either one of them!

Also, consider writing something for the Red Eyed Edward contest. There are some very bad Edwards in that group, but I would love to see what you mind comes up with as a one-shot. I had fun with mine, but I'll tell you that I definitely stepped out of my comfort zone with him. HA!

Just a FYI, this chapter and the next (which I'm working on) come with a trigger warning. I'm certain that anyone reading this knows that Bella was abused during her captivity, so the next few chapters will give some hints to that abuse. For those readers who may have been victims of domestic or sexual violence, I hope that I've done it in a way that is respectful and doesn't serve as a trigger for your own trauma. I felt, though, the need to put the warning. All flashbacks will be done in italics, so if you need to, skip over those sections. And before I gets some of those lovely (insert sarcasm) guest reviews, I am a clinical therapist who has dealt with victims of abuse, so I will stick to what I know works.

~MF~

Toweling his hair dry, Edward answered the door at the firm knock. He'd remained long past the end of his shift, compliments of a pile-up on the freeway. Luck of the draw, he'd been led into surgery and found a precious baby girl. Even cradled within the state-of-the-art car seat, the minivan hadn't absorbed enough of the impact from the tractor-trailer to prevent internal injuries and multiple fractures. Dark curls clinging to her pinched, bloody face, Edward envisioned Bella for the barest of moments. Then the doctor within him had taken charge, and he'd spent four grueling hours patching the toddler back together. Orthopedics would be taking a better look at her leg, but Edward had been able to repair the internal damage. While other surgeons continued working on the mother and father, Edward had been grateful to, at least, give the shell-shocked grandparents good news about their "princess."

Exhausted, he'd hit the snooze button several times before remembering Charlie Swan was due to arrive to inspect Mike's condo. An ice cold shower had helped him wake up, even if he'd shouted like a wild man when he stepped into his tile and glass masterpiece.

Charles Swan bore a strong resemblance to his daughter. He barely appeared over fifty, so Edward wondered how young Charlie had been when Bella was born. It also made Edward question how Bella's mother factored into the equation.

Smiling, he extended his hand. "Edward Cullen."

For a moment he wondered if Charlie was going to return the greeting, but with a flicker in his assessing dark brown eyes, the older man did so, giving Edward a strong grip.

"Charlie Swan. Am I early?" Charlie asked, his eyes running over Edward's wet hair.

Chuckling, Edward just shrugged. "No, I'm late. Long night in surgery." He stepped back and motioned for Charlie to enter. "Have you had coffee?"

Charlie grunted as he closed the door, his eyes surveying Edward's loft. "Yeah, but there's no such thing as too much coffee."

"Let's grab a cup before we walk over. I'll be much more pleasant to deal with."

Charlie actually cracked a grin at Edward's humor, following him across the open space to where an island separated the kitchen from the large living room. As Edward poured two heavy mugs of coffee, Charlie eyed the layout, impressed with the wood floors, open ceiling, and modern kitchen gleaming with stainless steel appliances and granite countertops. Across the way, a partial wall delineated what must be the master bedroom. It was a bachelor's pad, with dark overstuffed leather furniture, a sleek entertainment center, and big screen television. A wrought iron staircase led to a loft, with what Charlie could only assume was a second bedroom.

"Cream or sugar?" Edward asked, drawing Charlie's attention.

"Just black."

"Man after my own heart," Edward replied, setting the steaming cup in front of Charlie. "I used to doctor it - until I became a doctor. Now, I'm just excited to get a fresh cup and not the dregs the nurses leave."

Charlie chuckled at the younger man, forming an opinion close to the one Jacob had offered. Polite, professional, open, and well-meaning. Perhaps he wouldn't put Edward through the third degree about having an interest in his Bells. Only the first degree. After all, the man _was_ attempting to secure his daughter's presence right across the hallway. Charlie wasn't dumb. Bella was a grown woman, but it didn't mean he had to like thinking about her being a woman, with all that entailed. Especially considering . . .

Pulling open a drawer, Edward reached inside and grabbed a key ring. "I talked to my friend, Mike, yesterday morning and explained Bella was looking for a place. He was excited about the possibility of renting, if it meets your and her approval."

Charlie grunted, focused on drinking the fine coffee Edward had fixed. If his taste buds were right, the doctor didn't buy Folgers, but some of the fancy stuff that Charlie, for purposes of cop integrity, wouldn't be caught dead purchasing.

Reaching for his phone, Edward held up the coffee pot, silently asking if Charlie already needed a top off. With a grin, the older man accepted before he followed Edward out of the condo.

"I didn't get to take pictures yet to send to Bella, so I'll do that while you're looking." Edward moved across the wide hallway to a door opposite his.

Charlie had entered the front door to be greeted at the monitored desk. After showing his identification and being directed down the hallway to Edward's unit, he'd passed two similar doors. "The elevator is where?" he asked, referring to the access to the units in the floors above.

"In the front atrium where you came in. It's behind the wall with the waterfall." Edward opened the door to Mike's unit as he answered.

The space was empty, the wood floors reflecting light from the wall of windows. Like Edward's home, an island separated the kitchen from the large living space. But from there, the similarities ended. The island and the countertops had been lowered to be wheelchair accessible, and the wood cabinets had sliding doors.

Walking into the kitchen, Charlie hummed in approval as he saw the side-by side-refrigerator and freezer. Opening a pocket door at the end, he found a pantry with shelving built to each side, then another door.

"The extra bathroom and shower are through the second pocket door. It's wide enough for a chair, but definitely close quarters. Mike bought one of those new washer/dryer combos, which he left. It's in there as well.

Charlie eyed the space. Stepping in, he measured between the toilet, sink, shower, and sunken washer unit by pacing it off with his feet. "It'll work, but you're right, it's tight."

"He didn't use this bathroom, leaving it for guests, which is why he never installed bars and left the sink normal height."

Nodding, Charlie opened the door to the combo washer/dryer unit. "I've seen these things advertised, but I guess I'm old school. I've still got a Maytag set I've nursed along for twenty years. Clever use of space, but I still don't get how it can wash and then dry." Shutting the stainless steel appliance gently, he walked back into the kitchen. "Appliances all working?"

Edward nodded. "Mike wasn't much of a cook, but he liked to burn things." Edward's joke caused Charlie's lips to quirk.

"Most of the places I've visited had some sort of wheelchair ramps built to make things accessible, but the accommodations invariably limited access to the storage areas."

Leaning against the lowered island, Edward nodded. "I hadn't moved back to Seattle yet when Mike bought the unit, but the company had just started the renovations on the warehouse. He ordered it built this way, believing it would be his permanent residence. However, he's a good accountant, and the offer in Texas was too good to pass up. I think he'll be staying there, but you never know." Edward brushed his fingers across the granite. "My mom works in design, and she said he's not going to have any problems selling when the time comes. According to her, there's a healthy market for well-designed handicap accessible homes."

Charlie glanced around before nodding. "It's perfect, at least here. How about the bedroom?"

Leading the way, Edward motioned toward the staircase. "Mike kept the loft, in hope that if he married, it would be good space for a kid's room. He used it for storage, things he only needed now and then. He had the stair lift serviced not long before he was transferred."

Charlie eyed the device and the track that would carry it up to the second floor. "I know they're safe, but I would personally hate to have to use one. Bells can keep anything at the house she doesn't need."

"Bells?" Edward grinned at the endearment.

Charlie actually chuckled. "A nickname Jacob gave her when they were little."

"The master bedroom is in here." Edward slid back a wooden barn door secured with black wrought iron that matched the staircase.

The doorway had been widened and led to a large bedroom. The wood floors gleamed softly in the diffuse light coming from the windows. Going to the door across the room, Charlie entered the bath area. The glass-enclosed shower had no step over so a wheelchair could easily roll into the space. It also sported a row of chrome handles, a large tile bench, and an extra set of nozzles located in easy reach. The double sink had been split, with one side lowered to provide easy access, and the door to the closet was also larger than standard, the space inside designed with one side of the hangers lower for easy access. Even if she hung clothes on both sides, Charlie suspected Bella could still easily turn around to exit. The toilet was enclosed in another space across the tiled floor, another barn door separating it from the bathing area. There was room for a wheelchair to back in and turn, and rails for handholds on both sides.

Edward waited patiently in the doorway between the bedroom and living room and watched as Charlie, through with his inspection of the bathroom, went over to look out the windows. "My unit and this one share a view of the small patio area. There isn't much to the green space, but it does block the view of the next building. For security, the windows are protected from the street level by wrought iron bars."

Glancing out, Charlie noted the things Edward had pointed out. "What's behind here?"

"Several more converted warehouse projects, then a strip of restaurants and shops. The nearest police precinct is a couple of blocks away, as is the fire station where my brother works. As far as Seattle goes, it's a fairly safe neighborhood. The homeowners' fees and dues pay for the security."

"What made you decide to move in here?" Charlie asked as Edward took out his phone and snapped several pictures.

Moving to get shots of the bathroom and closet, Edward grinned. "My mom and dad would've probably been happy for me to stay with them after being gone so long for school, but independence is a hard won thing. My mom would've suffocated me with kindness. The couple of months it took me to find and purchase my place were enough. "

Charlie chuckled at Edward as they moved back into the living room to take the last of the pictures.

"Not long after I moved back to Seattle, I came over to visit Mike and saw that the unit across from him was for sale." Edward shrugged. "It's a good area, close to the hospital, fairly maintenance-free, and big enough for me to invite family and friends over for Sunday football. Plus, the price was decent, so I was able to buy outright with a small inheritance I got from my grandparents on my mom's side."

Charlie's eyebrow arched. He pondered Edward's statement as they locked the door and went back to Edward's home. "So let me see which one of those nuggets of wisdom I need to address first. Seahawks?"

Edward puffed up. "As if there is another team?"

"Mama's boy?"

Edward sighed on that one. "Maybe a little. She's a saint for putting up with five men in her life until Alice, Rose, and the grandbabies came along. It would be hard not to idealize her."

"And was the comment about the money meant to let me know you can take care of my daughter?"

Edward grinned at Charlie's question. "Did it work?"

Charlie coughed, trying to keep from laughing.

Moving over to the coffee pot, Edward filled his cup, and then did so for Charlie with the last of the brew. "I'm not rich. But I invested wise enough to not be swimming in debt out of medical school. Buying this place was a good venture both mentally and financially. There are some days I can barely drag myself home from the hospital, so the proximity was a major selling point. Good neighbors, safe neighborhood, some entertainment not too far away for when I can drag my ass out of bed; it all added in."

Charlie helped himself to one of the chairs surrounding Edward's small dining table in the corner. "And you think all this would be good for Bells?"

Edward was certain Charlie wasn't just referring to the amenities and the home he'd shown the older man. Staring down into the coffee as if seeking strength, Edward shrugged before meeting Charlie's sharp gaze.

"I think Bella is strong enough to make decisions about what she does and does not want. Seems to me she'd chew up anyone who thought less of her."

Charlie smiled broadly, and it transformed his face. Gone was the cop who'd been assessing Edward. "Good answer."

"I won't hurt her, Charlie. At least, not intentionally."

"You're not just interested in the information she can give you on your brother, are you?"

Edward straightened from where he'd leaned back against his countertop. Green eyes snapping fire, he calmly stated, "I would love to know about Jamie's last moments . . . some day. But Bella may never feel comfortable telling me, and I'm okay with that." He glared at Charlie without flinching at the older man's assessment.

Finally, Charlie nodded. "I'd feel the same if the shoe was on the other foot." Rising, he took his cup over to Edward's sink, placing it into the basin. "Send Bella those pictures and your friend's contact information. I'm on the way to meet with her and the doctor, so I'll tell her to jump on the opportunity."

Edward's shoulders relaxed. "I'll do that."

"The doctor told me Bella's ready to leave rehab, so the sooner the better. I've booked a room at the Hampton Inn down the street. If she can work out the details with your friend, I'd like to get her moved in by the weekend."

Edward's eyes widened at the announcement. "I'm working the next two nights, but I have three days off afterward. I could help."

Charlie smirked. "I'm certain Bella would enjoy that." Ready to make nice, he held his hand out to Edward. "It was good to meet you, Edward. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of each other," he said as he clasped the younger man's hand in his.

"You too, sir."

~Honor~

Edward's phone alerted, and he grabbed it from the countertop.

 _We're here. The delivery truck is behind us._

Grinning at the short text, he began powering his computer down. He'd been using the time before Bella, Jacob, Jacob's wife, and Charlie's arrival to catch up on some friends from medical school on Facebook. Like him, their posts were few and far between, but the difference was theirs were full of mostly whining and complaining about internships or first jobs. He was quite aware he'd lucked out in getting the job at the hospital with his father.

One example of this luck was the fact he'd gotten home on time the night before and had gotten a full night's sleep - which consisted of five hours. A luxury for any doctor. And it had been compliments of his dad. Just as he'd been about to sign out, a new emergency had come in. A deranged man who'd sliced himself to pieces. Carlisle had squeezed Edward's shoulder and told him to take off, that he'd do the surgery, citing he was aware Edward had a big weekend ahead.

The twinkle in his father's eyes had rivaled the mischief in his mom's when she met him in the parking deck with a basket of baked goods.

" _For in the morning when Bella and her family arrive."_

She's gone on to tell him how to reheat the quiches and breads and reminded him to offer juice as well as coffee. With a kiss to his cheek, she'd climbed back into her Mercedes SUV and left. Said quiches were warming in the oven, making his condo smell incredible. He'd stopped at Whole Foods and bought fruit as well as juice, as he'd been told. Having already demolished almost a full pot of coffee himself, he hit the power button on the new one he'd set up before going to meet Bella and her family.

He'd offered for his brothers to come help with the move, but Bella had laughed at him.

" _Edward, I'm having the furniture Leah and I purchased delivered, so really, all I'm going to be bringing is myself and a truckload of clothes and personal items I've stored at my dad's."_

Curious to see how minimalist Bella was at decorating, Edward made his way to the front of the building.

~Honor~

Freedom.

Isabella Swan would say it had never tasted so good, but that would be a lie. She'd never forget how it felt to be pulled out of that pit, to see the sky again, to smell fresh air, to know she might live . . . that she would need to honor all the sacrifices made so she could live.

But seeing the brick building looming in front of her, to know this was the next step in this new life, was a heady experience. Edward had sent her pictures via text messages, so she had already fallen a little in love with the converted warehouse, but to see it in person made it seem . . . real. At least for the next year, the time period she'd agreed to with Mr. Newton, she'd make her home here while she continued to work on regaining her strength and complete independence.

"Nice place, Bella." Leah, her next-to-best friend, whistled. "Hmm . . . definitely a nice view," she said with a growl, causing Bella to look out the window to see what Leah was complimenting.

A blush bloomed over her cheeks as she saw Edward standing at the front door, his hands in his worn jeans pockets, a black form-fitting jacket defining more than a few muscles and contrasting with his wild sex hair.

"Jake attempted to explain, but his 'he's a good-looking guy' obviously didn't cut it. Damn," Leah said in a husky voice.

"He is kinda yummy, isn't he?" Bella replied, earning a chuckle from the woman beside her.

Edward approached Jake's truck, pulling the door open. "Morning, Bella." He took her hand gently, pulling it up to kiss her knuckles.

Heat spiraled up her arm and across her skin.

"Edward." She was still a little tongue-tied at how handsome he was and the things he made her feel. "This is Leah, Jake's wife," she said, nodding toward the woman beside her.

He nodded respectfully before letting Bella go. "Wheelchair in backseat?" he asked.

"Yes."

When he went to retrieve it, Leah mouthed, "Oh my God," fanning herself comically in the few moments before he opened the back door.

Rolling her eyes at Leah, Bella turned away, already positioning herself to transfer quickly. Within a minute she was seated in the sleek chair and surrounded by her family. The guys from the furniture delivery approached them, a clipboard in hand.

"Mrs. Swan?" one of the men asked, eyeing both her and Leah.

"Ms. Swan," she replied and the man's eyes zoomed in on her and the Air Force ABU fleece jacket she was wearing.

She noticed a U.S.M.C. tattoo on his wrist and wondered about his story. He wasn't much older than her, so she wondered if he'd served in Afghanistan.

"If you'll show me where you want the furniture, we'll get you set up."

Smiling at him, she watched as he blushed. "Thank you," she said, even as Edward stepped closer, putting a hand on one of the handles.

Confused, Bella didn't miss the smirk on Leah's face. But a sharp wind racing down on them distracted her.

"Bells, let's get inside and let you see the place, that way you'll know where you want them to put the stuff," Jacob suggested. "We can let them go first before we haul in the junk from the trucks."

"Junk?" she snarked back at her friend, raising an eyebrow.

He grinned, showing exceptionally white teeth. "Your doilies and crap."

Leah smacked her husband on the shoulder causing him to chuckle. It was a sound so full of warmth Bella couldn't help but smile. To Edward, she said, "Jake's idea of decorating would be fold up chairs and a card table. If Leah hadn't taken pity and married him, I think he'd still have the velvet picture of the dogs playing poker on his wall."

Jacob's gasp was exaggerated. "Do not insult a classic."

Shaking her head at the twinkle in Edward's too-green eyes, Bella put her hand on the wheels and pushed forward, the others following.

Heat rushed around her as soon as they moved into the lobby.

"Glenn, this is Bella Swan. She's moving into the unit across from mine," Edward said to the man behind the desk.

The older man stood, coming around to meet her. "It is nice to meet you, Ms. Swan. If I can ever be of service, let me know. I've got some paperwork for you to complete, but you can take care of that later," he said with a slight bow.

"Thank you."

Holding out a key ring, Edward indicated, "We're all the way down the hall, Bella. Yours is the one on the right."

Biting her lip, she watched as his eyes widened and focused on her nervous tick. His reaction thrilled her, but now, surrounded by her dad and Jake, who would give her hell, was not the time to ponder it.

Taking the key, she rolled down the hall, marveling at the heavy metal door and how smoothly it glided back when she pushed at it.

Edward had sent pictures, but the simple beauty of the space before her still took her breath away. She'd already laid out the furniture in her mind, and it was a relief to have her thoughts confirmed. Shrugging out of her coat, she turned to face the guys from the furniture company before pacing off the space for the couch with her wheelchair.

"Couch here, with the arm chair there and the end table between them." She pointed to the left. "My Lazy Boy, here, she said pointing to the right of where the couch would end. It would allow her to see the television, but still enjoy the windows if she slightly turned.

The kitchen was to the right of the area, and she nodded toward it. "The shortened stools around the island and the table in the corner there."

The man nodded, jotting down notes.

While Edward showed Leah the kitchen and laundry space, Bella wheeled to the bedroom, Jacob and the man following.

"Bed against that wall with the side table to the left." This would leave the right side open for her chair. "Chest of drawers there," she indicated to the wall beside the bathroom door. "Jake, I want my grandmother's looking glass in the corner, 'kay?"

He nodded.

"And the smaller TV can be mounted over the chest of drawers."

He grunted. "Got it."

"We'll get you taken care of Ms. Swan." The man smiled in a friendly manner before leaving to go organize his crew.

Jacob stepped forward to look in the bathroom. "Bells, your closet is in here, so we may want to wait on even moving your clothes in until they've got your bed set up."

"Ok." Rolling to join him, she sighed in pleasure when she saw the shower, the glass gleaming brightly in the lights. "That's almost orgasmic."

"Seriously!" Jake made a big show of clapping his hands over his ears. "I don't want to think of you in that way."

"Prude," she joked back to him.

"Certifiably, because you know I was a virgin when Leah sank her claws into me."

Bella broke into laughter at his teasing. It was relaxing to fall into the pattern of their old teasing. Jake pushed it just enough to break down a little of the barrier between them along the way.

"Go away, Jake. I want to bask in the prettiness of my orgasmic shower."

Snorting, he did what she said, allowing her to investigate the toilet room and then the closet in peace. Rolling into the closet space, she turned once inside, pulling at the pocket door to test it. Charlie had brought oil, determined to give them all a good lube to make it easier for Bella to slide them. The door slammed shut, showing how well maintained it was, but the fact was lost on Isabella.

The loud pop of wood against wood sent her to another place.

 _The harsh sounds of the men's native language filled the air and hands pushed at her back as she and Jamie were led into a dilapidated building. Several grabbed her ass, squeezing tightly and making pain radiate into her hip. Sucking in a breath, Isabella attempted not to scream, knowing it was the reaction they wanted. When one man grabbed one her breasts and twisted it, she had to bite her tongue to keep from crying out. He grabbed her around the waist, thrusting his erect dick against her ass when she didn't respond._

" _Get your fucking hands off her." With almost inhuman strength considering his head injury, Jamie broke free of his captors and rushed over to her, jumping into the group._

 _A gun cocked to his head didn't even stop him. Only when the two had backed up did he meet the glare of the man threatening him._

" _Back the fuck up," he snarled, putting Bella behind him._

" _Jamie stop; they'll kill you. I can handle it."_

" _They're not going to touch you as long as I have breath in my body."_

 _She put her hand on his arm, squeezing softly. "It's going to be okay."_

 _She heard a popping noise behind her, and turned to see another man had lifted a wooden door buried into the floor, allowing the covering to fall back against the ground. A dark hole yawned where the cover had been. Before Jamie or she could prepare, a group of men rushed them and shoved, and they both fell through the opening to the ground below. The breath rushed out of her chest when she hit the dirt floor._

" _Major, you okay?" Jamie asked, pushing himself up._

" _Yeah, but I would've appreciated a softer landing."_

 _That he could chuckle back to her was a miracle._

 _The darkness was their only companion for days as they grew weak without water or food, until the sound of wood popping against the ground let blinding light race through the darkness._

Edward began running as soon as he heard Bella scream.

~Honor~

AN: One note to the progression of my story – victims of PTSD take sometimes years/decades/a lifetime to recover from the traumatic events and memories that haunt them. I've seen eighty year old men still flinch at the sound of a firecracker. While I will attempt to be true to my art (therapy), Bella's recovery and ability to handle her triggers will be slightly accelerated. When I wrote Honor, I truly meant for it to be a one-shot, but so many people emailed me, that I felt I needed to give a little more time to these two characters. However, a story that truly followed a therapeutic pathway would take me years to write – so please accept my literary license.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

If you haven't already, go over and visit the Red Eyed Edward Contest. The voting has started, and there are more than a few authors over there who really deserve votes!

So just a moment of self-promotion. I've posted my two Tricks and Treats contest entries - Sleepy Hollow and Lost Souls (that I co-wrote with beachcomberlc). Would LOVE for you to go over and read them. Also, I betaed a great story for the contest – Trickery by BellaC874. It was so good and so creepy. If you are looking for a good scare – go read it!

Lastly, I received notification that I'd been put up over on the TwiFicFanAwards for All Time Favorite Fic (for Downward Spiral and Harvest Moon) and for Boomerang Fic for Harvest Moon. I don't know who nom'd me, but I am so appreciative. If you haven't read those two, and you like vampire stories, please go over to my account and pull them up. They are both Post Breaking Dawn alternatives, but with very different twists.

Thanks so much to beachcomberlc and Ocassye who preread and betaed this for me. I couldn't do it without either one of them!

Just a FYI, this chapter has a trigger warning. As I said last week, I'm certain that anyone reading this knows that Bella was abused during her captivity, so the next few chapters will give some hints to that abuse. For those readers who may have been victims of domestic or sexual violence, I hope that I've done it in a way that is respectful and doesn't serve as a trigger for your own trauma. I felt, though, the need to put the warning. All flashbacks will be done in italics, so if you need to, skip over those sections. And before I gets some of those lovely (insert sarcasm) guest reviews, I am a clinical therapist who has dealt with victims of abuse.

Posting an extra chapter this week to thank all of you who have read, reviewed, and favorited.

~Honor~

Edward beat Jacob into the bedroom and saw the closet door was shut. Flinging it open, he cringed when Bella screamed again at the sound of if bouncing back in the tracks. She was huddled in the corner, curled up almost into a ball. Her wheelchair lay on its side.

He started to move toward her when his arm was caught by, of all people, the furniture guy.

"Don't crowd her." At Jacob's growl, the man released Edward's arm and held up his hands. "Man, I'm telling you, I've been there. The last thing that little lady needs is someone coming at her in any way she could perceive as threatening. I almost killed someone for doing something similar."

"I'm not leaving her," Edward swore, tugging on his hair as he looked back to find Charlie and Leah a few feet away. Both wore expressions of horror.

Bella had gone quiet, but she remained tightly coiled.

The man remained calm. "I'm not saying you should. Just. . . whatever you do, go slow and easy."

Edward dropped to his ass, scooting across the floor to lean against the wall to the left of her.

"Bella?"

Her shoulders began shaking, and he heard quiet sobs.

"Sweetheart, don't cry."

She sniffed and then moved her head back and forth. "I've made a total idiot of myself."

"For being scared?" Edward kept his voice soft.

She didn't answer.

"The walls in this place are pretty thick. The day your dad came to visit, I screamed like a little girl when I stepped into a cold shower." He heard Charlie snickering. "If no one heard me, I promise they didn't hear you. Anyway, everyone here is either family or friends, and we could care less if you scream."

"Not the truck guy," she muttered.

"Yeah, well, I'll give you that, but it seems he understands, probably better than we do."

"Do you want us to leave, so you can have some privacy?" Charlie's voice was soft, settling.

When she hesitated, he added, "Bells, we'll leave Edward, but the rest of us are going to go out and help get the bedroom stuff in."

Edward added, "Charlie, I left breakfast in my oven. Why don't you all go over and have some coffee, fruit, and quiche? Juice is in the refrigerator."

Without waiting for an answer, the group exited and the sound of the bedroom door shutting softly came a few seconds later.

"Sorry I slammed the door when I came in." He noticed her flinch and wondered what had brought on the reaction, but decided to remain quiet. He didn't want her to feel forced to talk.

It only took a few moments for her to relax a little more. He couldn't see her face through the thick veil of her hair, but he could tell she wasn't gripping her legs quite so tightly.

"It was the sound of the door shutting," she mumbled minutes later.

He waited for her to continue.

"When they sent the guy in to interrogate us, he always let the door slam to the ground, and the sound was like a pop. He did it intentionally, I'm sure, like that Pavlov thing I studied in college. He wanted us to know what was coming."

She stopped talking and began rocking harshly.

" _You're a little bitch aren't you?" The heavily accented voice growled in her ear as the man pressed her into the dirt._

 _Jamie began fighting but he didn't have the strength against four other men. One hit his head right at his injury, making him collapse, the others looking eagerly on._

Edward watched her inhale slowly through her nose and exhale shakily through her mouth, trying to control the panic from whatever memory she was reliving. He suspected what had happened to Isabella, what had been done to her in captivity. What his brother had most likely witnessed. He even suspected Jamie had died trying to protect Bella. But these were all suspicions Bella may or may not ever clarify.

Long minutes passed as he sat silently beside her. Slowly, the rocking became less pronounced and her breathing regulated.

"I pulled the door too hard when I came in, and it sent me over the edge. The confines of the closed room and the sound, it was too much even though I knew rationally I was okay." She huffed, and Edward saw strands of her hair lift from the reaction. "I probably sound insane."

Having seen her earlier reactions, Edward was slightly stunned by the normal tone to her voice. Taking his cue from her, he latched onto what she'd said.

"Actually, you sound entirely sane. The secondary cortex processes sensory, vision, and auditory stimuli, and it's also the area research suggests houses memories. So strong associations of sight, sound, or smell can trigger emotionally charged memories both positive and negative. Like the smell of pumpkin pie baking evoking a sense of homecoming, or a noise similar to your alarm clock startling you even in the middle of the day."

He saw humor glittering in the darkness of her eyes as she stared at him from behind her hair.

"Sorry, shop talk."

Her giggle made it worthwhile.

Bella focused on the smirk of his lips, letting the familiar quirk bring on a wave of comfort. Inching her hand out, she laid it palm up. When Edward placed his hand in hers, linking their fingers, she took a deep, shaky breath.

"I didn't let it scare me then. I knew what they were doing, how they were hoping it would make me cower, but I didn't give them the satisfaction. Neither did Jamie. But now that I'm safe, things are different."

"Your body and mind are attempting to heal, Bella. It's as simple as that. It sucks, I know, but the flashes are the mind's way of dealing with trauma buried during survival mode."

Bella nodded. "My shrink, Carol, told me the same, but understanding and experiencing are entirely different."

Edward nodded softly.

They heard noises coming from the bedroom, but neither moved or spoke for untold moments.

"Did you really cook quiches?" Bella asked.

Edward laughed because of the randomness of her thoughts and the disbelief in her tone. "No. My mom did. She met me as I got off work and foisted a whole meal off on me. She's determined we make a good impression on you."

Pushing her hair away from her face with her free hand, Bella raised an eyebrow at Edward.

"Help me Bella Swan; you're my only hope," Edward mimicked Princess Leia's voice . . . badly.

It had the effect he was hoping for as Bella broke out into laughter. "You're a geek," she accused.

He shrugged, holding his free hand up and placing his thumb and index finger barely apart. "Just a little."

"My dad tries to keep me away from all men, and your mom is trying to dump you on the first poor, unsuspecting woman." Bella chuckled, wiping at her tear-spiked eyelashes.

"I guess it's the way of life." He adopted an aggrieved tone to make her laugh, but it wasn't too difficult remembering the last time Esme had tried—and how the Fourth of July party had ended with the appearance of the two somber Air Force officers.

"Hey, you okay?" Bella asked him.

"Yeah. Just experiencing a little of a flashback myself."

"She must have been horrible to cause such a sad look."

It took him a second to realize she thought he'd been remembering a bad set-up, and not wanting to add to the sadness of the moment with the truth, he went with it. "Blondes, all of them. Rose and Alice picked them out." He raised his eyebrows and leered at Bella in a comical way. "I prefer brunettes with big brown eyes."

Bella blushed.

"Mom's quiches are to die for. You hungry?" Edward wanted to find a way to get her out of the closet and back into the land of the living. Hoping she'd only taken the time to grab something simple before arriving, he resorted to pure deviousness. "Her specialty is the ham one. The taste of it will make you cry, and I bought fresh fruit too. I _did_. . ."he emphasized it intentionally, puffing up his chest at the same time " . . . cook that."

She snickered. "Did you personally juice the oranges?"

"Yup. Traveled to the Tropicana processing plant to do it. Flew to Colombia for the coffee beans, too."

Her chuckle was watery, but it was a chuckle. He would take it.

"I think I could eat something. Leah ran through McDonalds, which I harassed her about, but she said when you have kids it's considered fine dining."

"Nothing like a Big Mac and hot fries, but my mom's breakfast can't be outdone." He paused for a moment. "Do you want me to help you back in the chair, or will it be too much?"

Bella exhaled, her face twisting in anger. "I think I need to do it on my own. If you would right my wheelchair, that would help."

Letting go of her hand bothered him, but he did it. "I'm going to stand up now. I wanted to make sure it was okay."

Blushing at his words, she shook her head softly. "I'm sorry I'm such a nut job. But I do appreciate you trying to think through everything. I'm fine now. I won't freak out."

Edward took a deep breath. "Isabella Swan. You aren't a nut job. Can I tell you what you are?" He didn't wait for her to say anything. "You're a damn hero. While you, my brother, and countless others were fighting for our country, do you know what I was doing?"

Bella's eyes were large, her mouth opened slightly.

"I was studying for medical school, going out with friends once in a while, and living in a small, but thoroughly comfortable, apartment. Not to mention calling my parents to check in, and my brothers and sisters-in-law to talk about my nieces and nephews. I watched stupid reality TV, and sometimes I even got a little drunk. All perfectly normal things in a perfectly normal life. And do you know why I could do that?"

She didn't move.

"Because of you. I didn't have to think every minute about whether or not I was about to step on a land-mine, or be blown apart by a suicide bomber, or shot down. I was able to live my life while you risked yours. Don't think I don't know that, or acknowledge it, even if I didn't dwell on the thought constantly. So, you know, if it means you have some moments of reliving hell, so be it. I, and everyone else in this country, had better give them to you."

Isabella was stunned by his vehement defense of her, so much so that she remained quiet as he stood and straightened her chair. It wasn't until she'd risen to her knees, and shakily pulled herself up using the armrest of the wheelchair that she looked up at him.

"Thank you."

He huffed. "No, Bella, I keep telling you the right of it. Thank you."

~Honor~

The movers had her furniture installed within an hour. They'd remained polite, but quiet around Bella. She began to feel uncomfortable until the one in charge approached her again with the delivery orders in hand.

"Ms. Swan, do you want to inspect everything before we leave?"

She and Leah had been unpacking her dishes into the lower cabinets, while Edward and Jacob mounted her large screen television on the wall.

"Trust me, if you passed my dad's inspection, we're good."

The man actually grinned. "Then I need your signature, and we'll leave you alone."

Taking the paperwork, she signed beside the X where he'd drawn a line. When she handed them back, he looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"Umm . . . I wanted to give you this." He handed her a slip of paper, and Edward almost dropped the television when he saw what happened. "It's the number of a friend of mine. Garrett. He and his wife, Irina, run a support group for vets. It's helped me." He stretched his neck. "My girlfriend goes too, because she says she can bitch to Irina about me. Anyhow, I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. The VA might give you some good resources, but I've found that being able to talk to others . . . who, um, have been where we've been, makes a big difference."

Bella's eyes were glued to the slip of paper.

"Your family and boyfriend's family, too. I mean, they should come. I heard about Lieutenant Cullen's funeral, but couldn't come because of work, but Garrett was there with some of the people from the support group. Sorry. It took me a little bit to put it all together." He touched his fist to the side of his head. "I used to be quicker on the draw, but a roadside bomb almost took me out. Now I've got a metal plate in my head and not so much smarts."

Edward stepped to Bella's side. He grinned at the man he'd been close to pounding to the ground a few moments earlier.

"Yeah." The man sounded a little confused, or maybe shy. "Come if you want. Garrett can give you all the details. I forget them sometimes and have to call him."

"Wait," Bella said as he turned to go. "You didn't tell me your name."

"Peter."

"Thank you for this." She held up the slip. "I'll call him."

A quick nod, and he left, his workers following.

"You sure about that Bells?" Jacob asked, snatching another piece of pizza from the boxes lining the countertop.

"Uh huh. My therapist actually recommended me finding a support group. This is as good a place to start as any. Besides, he's already seen me at my worst." She raised her eyebrow at the group, waiting for anyone to claim differently. Charlie was the only one brave enough to roll his eyes.

The group finished unpacking before dinner. As Bella had told Edward, she really hadn't brought much stuff, and to his eyes, a lot of the items for her home appeared brand new. He wondered at the observation as Leah brought out fresh sheets from the dryer and went toward the bedroom to makeup the bed. The entire comforter and sheet set had come from Bed, Bath, and Beyond, as did the kitchen and bathroom items, if the bags were too be believed. Knowing the Air Force would pack and ship the personal items of Airmen, it was something that seemed to be a piece of the mysterious Bella Swan puzzle.

Charlie had ordered the group Chinese takeout for dinner, but shortly after eating, he stretched and stood. "Bells, I'm going to head back to the hotel and turn in for the night. These old bones can't keep up with the youth."

Bella smiled at her dad, but shook her head. "More like, you were up at your usual 4 a.m., and it's bedtime for you."

"Busted." His moustache twitched with humor. "I'll come in the morning, before I head back to Forks to make sure we haven't forgotten anything. Be here first thing." He gave Edward a focused look with the announcement.

Edward barely refrained from rolling his eyes at Charlie's thinly veiled threat. The last thing Bella's father needed to worry about was him being in Bella's home in the morning. He felt privileged she allowed him to hold her hand. He imagined a kiss was months away, if ever. Didn't mean he couldn't dream and hope, though.

Standing to shake Charlie's hand, Edward kept his thoughts to himself. The man actually grinned at him before leaving. Jacob and Leah packed up not long afterward. Leah's cousin Emily had kept their two kids the previous evening so they were headed back to Forks, even though Edward offered for them to stay in his loft.

"Emily is wonderful with J.J. and Sarah, but one night is enough. As it is, she'll have the privilege of getting them ready for bed. We'll just pick them up and tote them home. Seth covered Jake and his garage yesterday and today, so Jake will want to give him a break tomorrow," Leah explained.

While Jacob said goodbye to Bella, Edward helped Leah carry some of their bags back to the truck. After glancing back at the building she grinned at him. "Bella's a keeper, you know."

"I do."

"So consider this the whole best-friend-warning-you-not-to hurt-her- or-I'll-break-your-kneecaps conversation."

Edward's bark of laughter was loud. "Got it." He put the toolbox Jake had brought in the back seat of the truck. "I can assure you my intentions are good. I think you know as well as I do that Bella has a long road ahead of her before she's ready to allow anything serious between us," he said as he shut the door.

"Oh, I think that ship has already sailed." Leah raised her eyebrow at him, making him want to squirm. "She's tough, Edward. She's had to be. There's a lot of history I won't share because it's only right you learn it from Bella, but if anyone can come through this and have a normal life, she can. Bella's no saint, but I've never seen her look at another man the way she looks at you." She held his gaze for a long moment. "I need you to make her feel again. After everything she's been through, she shouldn't have to give up a good part of being a woman."

Struggling to find the correct response, Edward reached up to tug on his hair. "Leah, that I find Bella to be one of the most beautiful women I've had the pleasure of coming into contact with isn't really a secret. Do I want the opportunity for a relationship with her? Hell, yes. But I walked into this with my eyes wide open. She isn't ready for anything past handholding right now. I'm going to let her make those moves."

"Sure, sure," she responded with a phrase Edward already knew came from her husband. "Doesn't mean you have to be an angel though. Tempt her." She patted his cheek before giving him a quick hug. "That's all I'm asking."

"Hey!" Jacob said from behind them. "Hands off my wife." His tone was all bluff.

"Sorry, babe, I was just copping a little feel," Leah teased her husband before sliding into the truck, leaving the two men to say goodbye.

"Edward, thanks for all your help. It does make me feel better to know Bells has the perfect place to stay, and that you'll be right across the hall if she needs you." He glanced to his wife, who smiled and waved in an attempt to look innocent. "Did my wife give you the obligatory warning speech?"

"Yes." Edward put his hands in his jeans pockets, rocking back onto his heels as he grinned.

Jacob pursed his lips and nodded. Shrugging his shoulders, he added, "Bella's like my sister. There's a part of me that already wants to break your neck, but there's a bigger part that hopes you'll help her." He waved his hand in the air. "I just don't want to know how, 'kay?"

Edward snorted at the man's mannerisms and aggrieved tone. "You two sure are determined I'll end up in Bella's bed."

Jacob grunted. "See, that right there . . . I didn't need to know." He grimaced. "Just . . .sh . . ." Placing the ladder he's carried out into the back of the truck, he turned once more to Edward, throwing his hand out. "Get my number from Bella, so you can call me if you need anything. I can get here quicker than Charlie most times."

"Will do."

~Honor~

Edward knocked softly on the door, seeing it had been left open, as if in invitation.

"Come in," Bella called out. She was in front of the entertainment center, looking through the movies Leah had stacked in the unit.

The oversized tan couch and chairs she'd chosen were broken up with colorful throw pillows. The walls remained unadorned except for the large screen television she'd had him and Jacob mount.

"Are you tired?"

Even if he was, he certainly wouldn't have admitted it and forestalled the invitation to watch some movies he suspected was coming.

"No. I'm used to long shifts. I'm good for several more hours."

"Want to watch some movies?" she asked, confirming his suspicion. She held up the Lord of the Rings trilogy. "I don't have Star Wars, but I thought this might do?"

He doubted she'd make it through the first movie, but wasn't about to argue. "I'd love to."

"Go change into some pajamas and come back. Leah got me some popcorn, and I'll make some hot chocolate."

She had the movie cued up, the popcorn in a bowl, and was stirring the hot water into the chocolate mix when he returned. She immediately giggled at his pajama pants.

"SpongeBob?"

"Compliments of Alice and Jasper's kids. I'm forced to watch the show every time I babysit."

He wasn't about to tell her he'd chosen them purposefully to see her reaction. The day had been overwhelming, and whether Bella had realized it or not, Edward had continued to observe her for signs of stress, noting her shaking hands, shorter breaths, and paler-than-normal skin. Her pulse had remained so high he could see the vein pulsing in her neck. He may have gotten her out of the closet and back into the land of the living, but he hadn't been able to separate her from the effects of the memory that had all but immobilized her.

The men had raped her in that hole. Multiple times and multiple individuals. He no longer doubted his suspicion. In the spirit of torture, the ultimate insult would have been to sodomize her as well – which he also suspected.

He was going to need help so as to not further traumatize her. The best step would be for Bella to invite him to go to her therapist for couples counseling, but this relationship was all so new he didn't think it was even appropriate for him to suggest. He needed some sage advice about how to navigate the land mines around him in the meantime.

They began watching the movie and from the moment she fell asleep, less than an hour into it, his mind whirled with the implications. Always one to develop and analyze his plans for weaknesses, he ignored the movie in front of them and gazed down into her relaxed face.

Step one—he needed to tell her that he suspected what had happened. He didn't want to go behind her back. Secondly, he and she needed to come up with some sort of signal, for when she felt uncomfortable or needed him to leave, stay, shut up . . . whatever. Third, he wanted to tell her he was going to seek help. Nothing good could come of hiding it. Fourth, they needed a plan for when she might need him, whether at night, or when he was working.

He continued to ponder his ideas until the movie ended, assured his plan to lay it all out on the line to Bella was the best choice. She'd shifted, coming to a rest, her head supported by his thigh, her legs stretched out. Edward would've loved to lie beside her, to cradle her head on his chest and intertwine their legs, but certainly that would be a landmine of epic proportions.

He also considered carrying her to her bed, but didn't want to risk scaring her if she should wake.

Instead, he gently eased out from under her, substituting one of the many throw pillows for his leg before pulling the throw from across the back of the couch to cover her. Finding her phone on the countertop, he checked to see the battery strength then placed it in the seat of the wheelchair, that he'd brought closer. Finally, he wrote her a quick note, leaving it under the phone.

Leaving her was the hardest part. She looked so fragile in the light filtering through the windows. But looks could be deceiving and he knew underneath the battle scars and terrors lay a heart of gold and a will of iron.

Risking a moment of pleasure, he gently brushed a lock of hair off her cheek, thoroughly enjoying the silk of her skin. Lost to her dreams, Bella hummed a little and the sound was pure pleasure. Smirking at her reaction to him, Edward turned to go, hitting the mechanism on the inside of the door so that it would lock after him.

They were going to make it, he swore.

~Honor~

So, we're getting there. Please know that I am fully aware, as I've said before, that I'm exaggerating the time it would take her to recover from her episodes, as well as, trust someone to be close to her like Edward.

Thank you to each one of you who've reviewed and supported me. Also, to those that encouraged me to keep going with this story. It has found a special place in my heart.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power!

*Please read and don't skim through – VERY IMPORTANT*

Hope everyone's week was wonderful. It has been a week of H E double hockey sticks for me. Work has just been crazy, my oldest has had this major honors project to do, and to put "the icing on the cake," a huge deer lunged into my car on Tuesday while I was driving to work, caving in the whole driver's side. Thank goodness my window only cracked and didn't shatter, or I'd had a deer sitting in my lap. Sigh. A lady from my church was killed a couple of years ago when an almost similar accident happened and the deer crushed her – so I'm thanking the all mighty for watching over me.

So, not to bore you, but as I've looked at my life for the past few days, I've realized something. My kids are growing up, and while I enjoy writing for fun when I have time, I'll never have the capacity to be a published author with all the craziness it entails. I work a full time and part time job, have six kids, and actually like to spend time with them and my husband. While I'll probably still write FF on and on, the time my fellow authors spend getting their names out into the publishing world – or actually finding an agent or publishing firm – is just something I don't have the time for. I've actually been struggling with this for several months, having completed an original fiction novel that I've had edited and a book cover done by the very talented Jada.

Sure I could put it out on Amazon, but without some time spent on promotion, it would be an utter failure.

So here is my proposal . . . go donate money to either the Go Campaign in Robert's name, or to a charity that would help victims of the Paris or Beirut attacks. Then send me a copy of the receipt (your pertinent personal data blacked out), and I'll send you my book – Apathy. It'll most likely be a PDF copy – and it won't be delivered for several weeks because I am going to at least copyright the thing – but you'll get it from me for free. I'm going to put a preview of it below the chapter for this week to give you a little taste.

Supporting charities is a big part of my personal beliefs, so when the idea was laid upon my heart this week, I felt such a relief that the months I spent writing two totally new characters wasn't going to go to utter waste. Don't forget to put the wwws on the below.

If you don't know about the Go Campaign, you can find the link at: gocampaignDOTorg(backslash)sharethegolove(backslash). Make the donation in Rob's name to help them reach the goal.

For Paris, I found the following link for the French Red Cross: wwwDOTammadoDOTcom(backslash)nonprofit(backslash)crf

For Beirut, I found the following link for the Red cross: wwwDOTredcrossDOTorgDOTlb

I checked. Honor had 2200 views for the last chapter. That was totally amazing to me, and an honor to say the least. If each of you just donated just a dollar to one of the charities, just think of what good could be done.

And before anyone says anything – I tried to find a donation spot for a charity Kristen supports and found an article that stated she supports the Red Cross – so perfect.

I'll put my email address below the story so that you can send me any donation receipts. And, my thoughts and prayers go out to all victims of terrorism. I have a personal connection with what is happening over in Europe right now that I can't share, but trust me, I'm going to be on my knees a lot praying.

Slight trigger warning again. I hope I did it in a respectful manner, and I want you to know we won't have many more of these as the story progresses.

~Honor~

" _Major, wake up." The voice was soft, but insistent._

 _The pain was more insistent, and Bella remained perfectly still. Taking account of the agony racing through her, she took one small breath after another._

" _Bella. Please wake up." The voice was pleading now. "Major!"_

 _It was Jamie, and she needed to check on him._

 _Fighting the lure to remain in the darkness, she pushed up from the dirt floor, jerking when the material covering her began to slip. She caught Jamie turning away at the same time she realized it was his shirt. Pulling into a fetal position in the corner, she leaned against the earthen walls._

 _Jamie remained still, but the sight of his naked chest made her jerk, the terror seizing up her heart._

" _I'm going to fucking kill them." His voice was choked, and the sound made her focus on his face._

 _She gasped at the swelling and bruising that disfigured him. He'd taken a beating and the men had focused on his face. One eye was all but swollen shut, his lip a bloodied mess. His physical state banished the fear attempting to immobilize her._

" _Don't," she whispered. "I couldn't make it without you, and they'd kill you. That's an order, Jamie. You will not retaliate. It's what they want. Close your eyes, lieutenant. That's another order."_

 _He complied, leaning his head back against the wall. Bella shrugged his shirt on, biting her lip to keep from crying out._

" _Have I ever told you what I thought the first time I saw you?" he asked her, then continued when she didn't answer. "I thought - damn, there's someone I can follow."_

 _Her lips attempted to lift as she remembered the wet-behind-the-ears boy who'd saluted her. His uniform had been so precisely starched she'd wanted to rumple it. She used a little of the dingy water from the cup they shared to wipe away the blood and dried fluids on her legs, before tearing another strip from her ruined undershirt and soaking it to lay it against his cheek._

 _Jamie opened his very blue eyes and the anguish in them was so deep every ache and pain in her abused body throbbed. "I still believe that," he said softly, respect for her etched across his face._

Bella woke with a start, pulling the warm blanket up around her chin.

The dim light had remained with them for several more hours but when darkness had fallen, Bella had moved to his side, despite her fear and revulsion. The desert nights were freezing with clothes, and with the shreds they had remaining, they'd never have survived without sharing body heat. Jamie had pulled the rest of her tattered clothes on top of them and then held her hand. To pass the hours, he'd told her stories of his family, about how they were crazy about each other, while at the same time ready to tease unmercifully about each other's shortcomings. It was the night he'd really talked to her about Edward . . . the older brother who was his idol. She'd rested with precious heat surrounding her, tales of a large, boisterous family filling the eerie quiet that taunted more torture and doom. It was something she'd never forget.

Soft rain pattered at the windows of the loft, and combined with the blanket wrapped around her and the heat pouring through the space, it left her with a sense of security. It was a far cry from what she'd endured in that hole with Jamie. Surprisingly, the quiet didn't make her edgy, instead, she used the peaceful moments to sit up and look around the space her family and friends had helped create. It still needed personal touches here and there, but, for the first time in years, the feeling she was at home filled her every pore.

Her phone buzzed drawing her attention to her chair and a folded slip of paper. Reaching for them, she quickly answered. "Hey Daddy."

"Hey Bells. Mark called, and they really need me to come into the station. There's a lead on those break-ins we've been tracking. I told him I had to check with you first."

She smiled, hearing the grumpy tone of his voice at having his plans changed. He'd been her savior over the past two days, going to all the doctor's appointments and arranging for the moving vans. Charles Swan was the perfect father. He always had been.

"Go help Mark. I'm good. I can't thank you enough for what you did, though. When you come back next weekend, make sure to bring Grandma Swan's bedroom set, so we can set you up a place to stay in the loft." She hesitated for only a second. "You know having you here helps me."

He cleared his throat, but even still, when his words came they were gruff. "Being around you helps me too."

He'd told her, when he'd reached her bedside in Germany, about the horrible nightmares he'd had when he'd thought he'd lost her. Without thought, he'd reached for her hand, and Bella had only had to fight terror for a moment with him. It was something in the memories of all the times he'd been there for her in the past that allowed the contact. Even so, she'd only been able to stand him holding her hand. It had just been recently he'd been able to hug her, and they'd both broke down into tears when it happened.

"Well, you go wake up that Cullen boy. He seems like a nice kid. Have him take you out for lunch and to look for some of those doilies you need."

She didn't know what to laugh at first - that he'd called Edward a boy, or that he'd had the audacity to insinuate she'd use doilies. Her dad had been hanging around Jake too long.

"He's not here, dad. Looks like I feel asleep on him last night while we were watching a movie." Bella flipped open the note and grinned at Edward's brief words.

 _Call me as soon as you get up. We'll do something fun. E_

"Well, I'm sure even if he was there you wouldn't tell me." He chuckled and she rolled her eyes even if her father couldn't see her.

"Love you, Little Bit."

Tears threatened at the long lost nickname. "Love you too, Daddy. I'll call you tonight."

"Better."

They ended the call with those few words, Bella already moving to the chair to check out the shower.

~Honor~

Edward had been up at least an hour when his phone rang. Seeing Bella's number he connected quickly.

"Good morning."

"Hey!" She giggled and his lips quirked at the sound. "Sorry I fell asleep on you last night."

"It was fine. You were exhausted, and I wasn't far behind you. You just waking up?"

"No. My dad called, and he had to change his plans. He's already driving back to Forks. So I took the opportunity to really enjoy my shower."

He chuckled, but had to fight down lust as he imagined her in the tile and glass area. "Well, if you don't have to wait for your dad, then we could do brunch. There's a great café just a couple of streets over."

"Brunch sounds great, actually. I need to go grocery shopping before I can cook anything."

"Well, there's a great fresh market down from where we're going, so you can check it out. For staples, we can always run by Target."

She hesitated and he wondered if he'd gone too far. Just as he was going to apologize, Bella spoke.

"That would be great. But I wouldn't want to take all your free time."

Edward grinned. "Bella, you're no trouble. I have today off, with no plans other than to spend time with you."

He heard a shifting sound through the phone and wondered what she was doing.

"I'll be there in a minute then," she suggested, causing him to leap up from the table to put on some jeans.

He opened the door with his shoes still in hand.

"You sure I didn't wake you?" she teased.

"No. When I have the pleasure of a lazy morning, I don't always rush to get out of my pajamas."

Bella wheeled further into the living room really looking at his home. She'd been there the day before to eat brunch, but she hadn't wanted to gawk with her father and Jake around. The room was decidedly masculine, but surprisingly cozy, with the warm colors he'd used for furniture and art. She turned to catch him watching her.

"Did you do all this by yourself?" she asked. For a moment a strong wave of jealousy sparked in her chest as she considered another woman might have been responsible for his home.

He shook his head, feeding the emotion. "No, my mom helped. She's an architect, even though she only works for fun now. She, Alice, and Rose helped me, although, I had to put my foot down about some of the stuff they suggested." His lips quirked to one side as he finished tying off his tennis shoe.

"They tried to make it too girly?" she teased, hoping her relief didn't show.

He grinned. "Yeah. I told them no self-respecting male worried about lacy hand towels in the extra bathroom. I have this horrible orange one I throw in there when they're coming, just to set them off."

Bella erupted into laughter and Edward admired the deep sound of it. It removed the lines of tension she carried at all times. She was still too thin from her ordeal, and his first step of the day was to help with that.

Grabbing his wallet, he slid it into the pocket of his jacket before grabbing his keys. "I can go warm the car, if you want, before you come out." The rain had stopped earlier, but he was afraid it was going to be frigid outside.

"I'm good," she said, leaning forward to slip on the jacket she'd laid across her lap and add gloves.

He quickly knelt to grab the purple beanie that fell to the floor. Instead of just handing it to her, Edward paused. "Can I put it on you?" he asked. It was a simple proposition, but he still watched as her pupils dilated rapidly. He fidgeted with the beanie for a moment, observing her through the corner of his eye.

Bella tried to speak, but fear had robbed her of all capacity.

Unwilling to push her, Edward started to lay the cap on her lap, but her hand stopped him, wrapping around his fingers so he couldn't let go.

"Yes, please."

Edward gazed at her for the longest moment to make sure, but when he saw her unwavering regard, he nodded. "Just squeak if it's too much."

"Squeak?" she replied, clearly affronted he would suggest she would do such a thing.

They both chuckled before he moved slowly closer, giving her time to accustom herself to his proximity. Easing the cap on, he used his thumbs to brush loose strands of her hair beneath the material. He couldn't decide what was softer, her hair or the cashmere. Knowing she'd taken a huge risk with him, he didn't linger and started to move away, but Bella captured his hand again, holding it to her cheek. Time seemed to stand still around them as he savored the soft skin under his palm, and eyes closed, she leaned gently into his caress.

"Thank you," she whispered what could've been a lifetime later.

"Anytime." His voice was gruff and he had to clear his throat before he could continue.

~Honor~

They were lucky to find a parking spot close to the restaurant. Lifting the wheelchair out of the trunk, Edward was hampered from getting close by the tight fit between vehicles in the store-front spaces.

"I guess I didn't think about you having the room to get out," he admitted, a sheepish look on his face.

"I have a handicapped placard, but I hate using it when there are so many other people who need the space worse." Gauging the distance between her and the wheelchair, she shrugged. "Would you just hand me my cane? Jane is pushing me to test the limits as much as possible, anyway."

Edward eyed the concrete and once assured there were no icy patches, handed it to her.

Her soft grunt as she pulled herself from the seat made him want to tug at his hair, but he wouldn't dignify his worry. Bella didn't allow many signs of weakness, and he'd determined not to allow his concerns to make mountains out of mole hills.

Since Jamie's remembrance ceremony, her gait had become smoother and she appeared more assured with the cane. The strain was still there though, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief when she lowered to the seat and handed him the cane to put back in the bag hanging from the back of the chair.

"I want one of the collapsible ones."

The doctor in him assessed the possibility. "Are they as safe?" he asked.

"Meh . . ." She shrugged. "Jane wants me to wait to make a decision, so I'm still using the one the hospital issued."

He sensed more of a story. Keeping his face devoid of any questions, he slid the black device into the bag and moved back for her to wheel out.

"There's a strong possibility I'll always have to use a cane," she admitted as they began the short walk toward the slope in the concrete that would allow her access to the sidewalk. "If so, it's better for me to just get a good sturdy one."

He'd actually assumed she would from the injury she described. A compound fracture of a leg was something that could be catastrophic, particularly if it went untreated for any length of time. She was lucky she hadn't had to have the limb amputated. Heat curled around his neck at the assumptions he was making about how she was injured. He would just have to keep his thoughts to himself until the opportunity presented itself.

"Your mobility is getting better, so whatever you and Jane are doing is working," he responded as he directed her toward the opening of the café.

"She's a taskmaster, but definitely a miracle worker." Bella smiled at him as he held the door for her.

The smells of the bakery surrounded them and Edward watched as Bella's eyes widened.

"Edward!" A voice called out and he turned to greet his friend, Jude.

Grabbing the handsome black-haired man's hand, he pulled him into a quick shoulder tapping hug before nodding to Bella. "Jude, this is my friend, Bella. I'm trying to make her more than a friend . . ." he adopted a long suffering look " . . .so I brought her here for your finest to help in my wooing efforts."

Jude's black eyebrows rose at the statement. "No! Henri was hoping your lack of female company meant you batted for our team. He already had you married to his brother."

The man grinned evilly even as Edward countered. "I thought Henri was going to dump you for me." He held his hand above his heart. "I'm crushed."

Sighing, Jude said, "Most days, I'd let you have the man." There was far too much affection in his voice for Bella to take his statement seriously. He bowed slightly to her. "So glad to meet you. Let me set you up at one of our window tables so you can watch the people walking by."

They'd no more than looked at the menu when a gorgeous blond hurried over to them. Edward rose and gave the man a hug, much like he had Jude, but with this man, he didn't come out unscathed. The blond kissed both of his cheeks with flair before he started to approach Bella.

"Henri, Bella doesn't like to be touched," Edward warned, laying a hand on the man's arm to stop him.

"Say it isn't so," he responded with a heavy French accent. "Such beauty deserves to be adored."

Edward enjoyed the blush that crept across Bella's cheeks. It would be hard for any woman to brush off Henri's charms.

"Well, beautiful Bella, I will respect your wishes, though it truly causes pain in my heart." He waggled his eyebrows before returning his attention to Edward. "Shame on you for not visiting us again sooner. You work too hard. I was just telling Jude the other day we needed to call you and invite you over."

"To set me up, I hear," Edward responded.

Shrugging without shame, Henri said, "Eh . . . so it seems I had no need to do so."

Deciding to tease Edward, Bella joined in. "Well, I'm not so sure about him yet. So you may still have the opportunity." She winked saucily at the French man.

Henri laughed so hard all the patrons turned to watch the spectacle. "You keep this one, Edward. I like her." He bowed slightly toward Bella. "I'm going to make you some of my famous beignets. Do you like hot chocolate?"

She nodded quickly and profusely, like a little girl getting her first treat.

"Good! I'll whip up something special!"

He took the chance to ruffle Edward's hair before leaving, and Bella couldn't help but laugh.

"They are very fond of you."

He nodded before explaining. "I was on duty when a friend of theirs was stabbed in a night club downtown. It was my second day on the job at the hospital." He waited for a moment to continue as a waitress set a large pot down on the table with two cups.

"Hey, Edward. Good to see you again."

Smiling at her, Edward nodded to Bella. "Susie, this is Bella. Bella, this is Susie. She's Jude's younger sister and an aspiring teacher."

"Nice to meet you." Bella liked the girl immediately; it was strange that she did, considering she was generally reserved around people.

"Susie has the most adorable two year old, Greg."

"Who has been asking about you, by the way. You've got to come over. I overheard Henri telling Jude he was determined to make it happen on your next day off. Greg will be ecstatic."

She left them without giving Edward time to accept or decline the offer.

"That was very effective of her," Bella chuckled.

"Well, she's good at guilt." He poured them both cups of thick, steamy chocolate. "They adopted me into their family after I helped Trey. The nurses on call that night were a little . . ." he paused before continuing " . . . old-fashioned."

At her raised eyebrow, he elaborated. "They didn't want to allow Trey's partner into recovery. It was a busy night, and I had to go into another surgery right after I did his. As soon as I finished, I went back to check on him and realized what was happening." He shrugged.

"How is Trey, now?" She asked before taking a sip of the hot chocolate and shivering as the flavor burst over her taste buds.

"Completely recovered. He and his partner got married a month ago, and I attended the wedding. It was quite a party."

They remained in the café eating beignets, eggs, ham, and fruit while drinking an entire pot of the thick, sweet chocolate. Henri, Jude, and Susie stopped by to check on them often, but between the food and interruptions, they spoke of books and music, finding that while they might not have shared all their special interests, they surprisingly had a lot in common.

It was after lunchtime when they left the cozy corner by the window, making their way back out onto the street.

"There are several artsy shops along here if you want to look for stuff for your place," Edward suggested.

Bella shivered at the cold wind, but couldn't resist the lure.

~Honor~

Hours later, Edward pulled in front of their building to let her out, insisting he would bring in the many bags of "loot" she'd acquired during her shopping expedition, as well as the multiple bags from Target. Tired, she agreed, barely able to move to her chair and wheel herself in to her loft. It took him four loads, but he playacted a stagger as he came through the door with the last one.

It was enough to bring a very tired giggle out of her.

"Bella, go relax in your chair, and I'll cook us something for dinner."

She shouldn't have been hungry after the brunch they'd had, but her stomach growled at his words. "I can help," she said.

"I know you can." He smiled. "I'm asking you to let me do it."

Any other excuse would've probably made her mad, but his earnest expression and the exhaustion threatening her softened any blow. "Okay."

He moved the bags of decorative pieces and one print she'd found to the floor next to her entertainment center and started unloading her groceries as she worked her way into her recliner. Closing her eyes seemed so easy.

"Isabella . . ." a soft voice called. It was insistent.

Warmth surrounded her and she hummed at the delicious feel of stretching softly. She snuggled back down into the soft feel of the blanket covering her. She was having a dream. In it, she ran through a meadow at the park. She was being chased by someone and laughter bubbled from her lips.

"Bella! Wake up." The voice was amused.

It was Edward, and he was laughing at her. She needed to see why.

Grumpy at the thought, she pushed out of the warmth to find him squatting next to her chair. It took her a few moments to wake up and she had to blink her eyes several times to clear the sleep.

"I thought you might need to go to the restroom before we eat."

"Eat?" The smell of chili taunted her stomach, and she glanced over to see a pot on the stove. "Just how long did I sleep?"

He shrugged. "An hour or so. You needed it." He grinned so softly that he looked like a little boy, and Bella reached over to trace one of his cheekbones with her fingertips.

It was something she did without thought, and surprisingly she didn't feel the need to jerk away even as the air grew heavy around them.

"Edward . . ." she said softly, enjoying the small caress.

She saw him go entirely still. Not so much as an eyelash twitched.

"I want to kiss you."

His lips parted slightly. "I want to kiss you, too."

When his cheek muscle jumped under her fingers, she dropped her hand in response. "What?"

He didn't flinch or look away, but she could tell that whatever he was about to say made him very uncomfortable. "Bella." He paused. "It's your right to share or not share, but from everything you've said and not said, I've drawn some conclusions about your time in captivity."

Dread and fear tried to form in her chest but Bella pushed them away, refusing to allow them to claim victory. Instead, she met Edward's regard as he spoke.

"I believe you were sexually assaulted."

Her muscles attempted to freeze at his words, but she grabbed onto the anger bubbling in her chest to keep the ice from taking over. It wasn't anger at Edward, but at what happened and how it threatened to destroy the rest of her life. Before her was a stunning creature that she would could barely touch, and it made her furious.

"Obviously, today isn't the day to talk about it, and perhaps we even need professional help, but I wanted you to know what I suspect and that I'm here for the long run."

He stood slowly and made his way back over to the kitchen. His retreat confused her, and the hurt must have shown in her eyes because he shook his head slightly at her.

"Just know that I want to kiss you, and touch you, and make love to you." His hands gripped the counter top, his knuckles going white. "And I want to have sex with you, too. The kind that's down and dirty, and fun, and wild, and out-of-control." He coughed slightly. "So, whenever I feel myself getting lost in those brown eyes of yours . . . I'm going to put a little distance between us."

Realization hit her. Edward wanted her, was turned on by her touch. The distance he'd put between them wasn't because of disgust, but lust. Thrill shot through her, and it was probably one of the most empowering feelings she'd had since being freed from captivity. She couldn't help the grin that split her face, and Edward saw it.

He picked up a stirring spoon and pointed at her. "You're in control, Bella. You just let me know when and how much you're comfortable with, and please also realize that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to work on us." That his eyes narrowed next confused her until he spoke. "But for now, keep your come-hither smile and . . ." he blinked rapidly at her in a comical fashion " . . .doe eyes over there."

Bella couldn't help but smile the whole way to the bathroom.

~Honor~

Apathy – a novel by A. Breed

Chapter 1

Tendrils of mist floated above the deciduous forest. Deep yellows and oranges mixed liberally with red and green as the oaks and maples interspersed with evergreens. Ancient hills nudged each other like waves on the ocean, some higher some lower, blanketing the land in shadowy crevices and sunlit peaks. Here, stories of an ancient people were only overshadowed by the age of the land, mountains that had touched the sky long before any others in the United States. What the hills lacked in height, they more than made up in spirit.

The Smoky Mountains.

There were many explanations for the fog that hung in thick blankets across the land. The most common theory was warm humid air from the Gulf of Mexico cooled rapidly in the higher elevations, condensing between the peaks. The Principal People, the Tsalagi, known as the Cherokee to most, had other explanations. Spirits.

Whether atmospheric phenomenon or the wandering souls of a prideful and majestic people, the tendrils wrapped finger-like around the slight figure that loped across the ground. Following the road cut into the land for the raping of it, the woman ran at a steady pace down the tree ridden gashes.

"C'mon girl, we're almost home."

Daisy, the English Pointer at her side, yipped in response.

Sweat saturated the woman's light running gear but for now she was warm from the exercise. Once they reached the peak, the fall winds scouring the land would chase away that comfort. But it wasn't the wind that caused the woman's heart to chill when she reached the small area cleared to house her cabin. It was the beat-up Suburban beside her Jeep and the sheriff leaning against it.

"Dane?

"Kate, I wouldn't have come." The weather-tanned man took his hat off, running his hands through his black hair and making Kate feel guilty for wanting to run back up the trail. "Hell, she's probably only six years old."

A child. As if that made it better.

"Where is she?"

"Still at the river. I didn't move her."

Kate heard the underlying message. _I didn't move her because I know you do your best work at the scene of the crime._

"I wouldn't have come, but it sickened the others, and the rain last night washed away any evidence."

Her shoulders slumped. "Let me clean up, and I'll follow you."

Letting her clothes drop to the bathroom floor, she stepped into the glass shower and allowed the hot water to wash over her. It was a comforting feeling. If she tried hard enough, she could imagine the droplets of water were a lover's caress tracing down her arm. At least she assumed that was how it would feel. Forcing her mind from such thoughts, Kate turned her face into the downpour. The staccato sound was welcome, drowning out the screams of the ghosts that haunted her. Sighing at the perfect peace, she wished she never had to step away from the water. But life beckoned outside the small haven she had built for herself, forcing its fingers into her space, scratching like poisoned barbs. Kate soaked up another minute, preparing to walk into hell.

"A couple spotted her when they were bringing trash to the landfill." Dane stepped to Kate's side as soon as they exited their individual cars. Years of association had taught him to keep a respectful distance from the young woman. All too aware of what he'd asked of Kate, and what it would cost her, he knew his wife, Clara, would 'tear a lick off his hide' about it later.

"No one's touched her?" Kate asked in a hollow voice.

"No. As soon as we got here, I made sure no one else approached the scene. It was clear she was already gone." He shuffled his feet. It went against every lesson of decency he'd ever been taught to not scoop up the broken angel and wrap her in a blanket.

As they walked closer to the area where several deputies hovered, yellow tape glinted in the late morning sun. Faces turned their way, and Dane saw several of his men step back. Mountain people were notoriously secretive, staying to themselves and holding their beliefs of God and His miracles close. Kate, the young woman Sheriff West escorted into their mix, was an enigma even to them. But mystery or not, she was theirs and would be protected from all threats . . . which didn't mean some of them didn't hold a degree of fear about her special gift. If they'd been Catholic, instead of Fire and Brimstone Baptists, Dane was certain several of his deputies might have crossed themselves for good measure.

"Let's give Kate some space, boys."

 _Space._ _Is that what Dane was calling it now_? Either way, it worked for her as the men left, leaving her to stand before a sectioned off area.

The girl was so tiny, she appeared doll like among the refuse. Had her hair been washed and brushed, it would have been a light blonde, pale to the point of looking white in the sun. Her cupid bow mouth was slightly open, as were her eyes. Milky blue in death, Kate guessed they had been vibrant in life. There was a deep gash on her left cheek, and her arms and legs were spread out from where she had been tossed and left as she landed. Kate's initial impression was a hurried dump. The killer was more concerned about not being caught than in covering up the crime.

Looking around, Kate attempted to ignore the pleading look on the child's face. She knew it was her imagination, but it was difficult not to respond.

 _A moment, little one, and I'll be with you_.

Unfortunately, as Dane had indicated, the rain had washed away any evidence. Kate remembered booming thunder accompanied by downpours of the night before. It had been bitterly cold, and her heart constricted at the thought of the child lying in the mud through it all. By the looks of her crooked and bruised neck, Kate hoped death had been quick, but there was no way to know if the girl had suffered . . . except to touch her.

Steeling herself, Kate sat on the muddy ground, ignoring the squish of the muck through her jeans, and reached for the child's outstretched hand . . .

~AN~

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	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

I am so happy about the response to offering my completed original fiction for donations. I would LOVE for you to contribute to one of the three below charities, but if you donate to ANY charity, I'm fine with that as well. I don't care if it is a dollar. Thank you again to all who have donated.

I've added the book description below (which I totally forgot to include the first time around), and you'll get a little glimpse at my villain. Hope you'll consider going over for a donation! If you've sent receipts and haven't specifically heard back from me, make sure to send them again – several have not come through. I've been checking the spam box just to make sure I'm catching everyone.

If you don't know about the Go Campaign, you can find the link at: (backslash)sharethegolove(backslash). Make the donation in Rob's name to help them reach the goal.

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Lastly, I am sorry if you didn't receive a review reply this week. My internet was spotty, finally resulting in me contacting my provider to install a new router. I'm not certain all my replies went out.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power!

~Honor~

"I want to kiss him." Bella's hands shook as she said the words, but she maintained eye contact with the woman across from her.

"And is this a good or bad thing?"

Bella shook her head slightly. "Good of course. The man is gorgeous, kind, understanding . . ."

Carol leaned forward when Bella stopped speaking, but she waited for the young woman in front of her to regain her thoughts. Isabella Swan was nothing short of a miracle. She'd survived horrific abuse as a prisoner of war, an injury that should've cost her a leg if not her life, and subsequent nightmares that could have easily turned her into a neurotic mess. But Isabella Swan was also a fighter. She had that "thing" Carol wished she could infuse in all her patients—the will to not just survive, but really live.

"I'm sure he leaves the toilet seat up or something," Bella muttered, scrunching her eyebrows together slightly.

Carol had a difficult time keeping a neutral expression on her face. Laughing out loud wouldn't be appropriate at the moment.

"He wants to come to therapy with me."

Carol's eyes almost widened. It was a testament to the years of training that she controlled the response. Personal reactions aside, there was no way that little nugget wouldn't be addressed. "He offered this or you asked?"

"He offered. He's a doctor, so I'm sure the benefits of therapy are something he understands."

"I'm certain you're right, but how does it make you feel for him to ask to participate in a therapeutic environment with you?"

Bella was quiet for a very long period of time; when she raised her eyes back to Carol, the brown was awash with tears. "Cherished."

Carol allowed the word to hover in the room, to sink into the moment, to wrap around her client. The notion was exactly opposite of how the abuse had made Bella feel. It had been demoralizing and ripped at the very essence of the young woman in front of her as a human and female to be treated as chattel for the men's rage and basic urges. "If he spoke to you about it, could you tell me what his purpose would be for coming?"

Shifting around in the comfortable, plush chair Bella swallowed hard before answering. "He figured out what happened over there."

Carol remained still as Bella struggled to fashion the words.

The young woman cleared her throat before continuing. "He told me he suspected what had happened and that he wanted to talk with someone about how to make us work in spite of it." Bella smiled and the action warmed Carol's heart. "Carol, even before I met Edward, I wanted to get that part of me back, you know? I like sex. A lot. I don't mean I was a whore or anything." Bella chuckled nervously, and Carol couldn't help but grin at the woman. She was adorable, reminding Carol of her mischievous granddaughter. "But I've had two good relationships in the past that didn't work out for reasons aside from sex. I just never would've thought I'd be thinking about it so early. I imagined years of waiting before I'd ever feel this way."

"So is he the reward you'll get in the end if you force yourself to go ahead and face the demons?"

A look of such longing and lust crossed over Isabella's face that Carol smiled softly. She'd often caught herself having the same look many decades ago when she met Dan, the love of her life. Forty years, two kids, and four grandkids later, she still had that smile at times.

"Yeah, he'll definitely be a fine reward. The man is hot." Bella giggled before adding, "Ok, there's a lot more to him than a face and body, but damn." She fanned herself.

"Bella." Carol scolded, but with little force. She liked seeing the impish look on her client's face. It was a far cry from the dead stoicism Bella had come to her with months prior. She hated to ruin the light-hearted moment, but there was an elephant in the room that needed to be addressed before Carol could, in good conscience, move forward with any plan of couples counseling.

"Bella, I need to ask you a tough question, and I need you to answer honestly, okay?"

Bella shifted nervously again on the chair.

"Is the reason you're comfortable with Edward because you're substituting him for Jamie in your mind? Because if it is, then it isn't fair to him and you need to stop moving forward with this relationship."

Isabella Swan looked like a deer frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car. It had been a risk on Carol's part to address this so soon, but Edward's desire to participate in therapy told her how serious his feelings already were for the woman in front of her. Edward deserved more than to become Bella's crutch. Bella deserved more than a relationship built upon shaky ground.

"I'm not sure I can answer that question," Bella admitted, much to Carol's delight. A definitive answer would've have meant Bella was being defensive.

"Explain to me what you mean."

Linking her hands together, Bella laid them on her lap. "I think the reason I can tolerate holding his hand, or letting him touch me briefly is because in some ways I do associate him with Jamie. Edward moves the same way and has some of the same mannerisms. There's something about his spirit that reminds me of Jamie. I think that's why I didn't panic at the funeral, when I fell and he caught me. It should've been too much— the feeling of his arms around me like that, holding me. But it wasn't. I think if he tried to do that right now, I'd panic and scream. I don't know—it just happened so fast I didn't even have the time to think about it."

She rubbed at her eyes, her fists trying to grind away the tears.

"So, yeah, I admit he reminds me of Jamie. They have the same calming spirit. But is it because of those similarities that I want Edward? I don't think so. I never desired Jamie sexually." She shuddered at some memory Carol could only guess at. "Jamie was like a pesky little brother, not a man whose bones I wanted to jump."

"So you would've been attracted to Edward even if you'd met him in another situation?"

The look on Bella's face was nothing less than predatory. "Oh yeah. I mentioned earlier he is gorgeous, right?" She giggled before adding, "The man is a walking orgasm. Seriously." She snickered. "And in the interest of not sounding like a dog, I'll add that he has some pretty amazing other qualities, as well."

"Such as?"

Bella didn't even hesitate. "Like I said, he's kind and considerate. Calming. But he's also loyal to his family and friends. Funny. Smart. A bit of a dork. Open. Honest." She shrugged. "I could go on."

Smirking, Carol shook her head slightly. "I needed to know you'd considered the possibility of your connection with him. It appears you have."

"Which brings me back to my original statement. I want to kiss Edward, which I never wanted to do to Jamie, by the way." Bella grinned.

"What would it take to let Edward do that?"

 _Hands grabbed her, holding her down, spreading her legs apart. The men laughed as the interrogator stripped his pants off._

 _Jamie yelled in the background. There were sounds of a struggle, but Bella couldn't see him. Another man held her head still so she had to focus on the sight of the man undressing. She'd closed her eyes once before, but they'd punched her when she did. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of reaction to their control over her body."_

"I need to be in control." The words ripped out of her mouth before she could even consider them. There was something to be said for instantaneous reactions. Bella's shoulders slumped with the heaviness of the realization. "I need to be in control," she whispered.

"Then tell him and together figure out a way to give you what you need." Carol smiled at Bella before leaning over to place her hand in front of the young woman.

Bella reached out and squeezed her hand quickly. Carol felt it a privilege that the woman allowed contact. She and Jane, the physical therapist who consulted on Bella's case, were special in that right.

"What does that mean, control? How do I get it with Edward?" Bella's heartbeat was racing, if the throb of the vein in her neck were any indication.

"I think it's something you two have to determine. And Bella, bring him with you when you feel the time is right. We can work on some relationship goals. But if you're wanting a sex therapist, which I'm thinking you might, I'm not that person. I have a good referral though. Someone I would trust with you and your history."

"Sex therapist? It's been a while, but I think I still remember the basics." Bella's brown eyes twinkled with mirth.

That she could tease about it told Carol that Bella was further along than she'd expected. It would seem Bella, against the odds, was really ready to reclaim the most abused part of her life back.

"I'm sure you do, but the issues of your sexual abuse at the hands of those men will affect how you react. If you choose to have sex with Edward, he needs to be armed, at least, with some knowledge. He sounds like an amazing young man, but he'll need to know how to handle his responses to your reactions. It won't be as easy as just getting naked."

Bella let out a breath that actually stirred the hair around her face. "Why can't it be?" It really wasn't a question, more of a curse. "I know, I know. One step at a time."

~Honor~

The taxi made its way through the traffic, carrying Bella back toward the loft. She felt at peace with how the therapy session had gone, but anxious about how to address the issue of control with Edward. The idea of kissing him was something she couldn't put out of her mind.

He'd been working long shifts for several days, which had only allowed them to see each other for a few minutes at a time. He called when he had a break at work and stopped by when he came home to crash, no matter how late. It'd been an actual disagreement, their first, when she'd told him to text her when he left the hospital. He hadn't wanted to wake her, but she'd quickly realized if he didn't, she might not see him for days at a time. It was an argument she won, mostly because they both liked the quiet, still moments in the middle of the night. She'd found out he drank chamomile tea to go to sleep and always had a cup waiting so she could, at least, wish him a good night.

But tonight was his last duty for two days, and he'd invited her to come to his parents for lunch tomorrow. Emmett, his brother, worked at a fire station, so his time off was as scattered as Edward's, and their mom had learned to do "Sunday" dinner whenever both boys were off. Jasper's schedule as a professor at the university was more accommodating.

Bella would admit to being nervous about the family affair. They'd been so delightful at Jamie's memorial, but she was afraid they'd have questions she wasn't ready to answer.

The taxi made a turn, and one of the shop fronts caught her attention. With a big smile, she asked the driver to pull over.

~Honor~

Edward had actually left work on time, so when the knock came, she had dinner ready instead of chamomile tea. His hair was still wet from the shower when he stepped through the door, dressed in worn jeans and a green long-sleeved T-shirt. The green made his eyes look like deep, rich emeralds and a breath caught in the back of Bella's throat.

 _It should be illegal for any man to look that good_ , she thought.

"Hey," he said, pulling flowers from behind his back. Luckily, he'd gotten them in a vase.

"They're gorgeous," she said of the mixed arrangement of daisies, baby's breath, and roses. "Thank you."

Grinning, he placed them on the table before joining her in the kitchen. He was tall already, but standing beside her in the wheelchair and in front of the lowered stove, he looked larger than life. "Smells good."

"I went with comfort food. Spaghetti Bolognese. I let the sauce cook in the crockpot today while I went to see Carol, in the hopes you'd have time for dinner. I'll grab the salad, if you'll bring the rest," Bella indicated of the meals she'd dished out into large platters, fat slabs of garlic bread to the side. "Water good?"

"Sure," he said as he grabbed the plates.

"Good day at work?" she asked as she wheeled to the table and set the bowl and waters on it. Locking the wheelchair, she pushed up and moved to the chair at the end of the table.

He nodded. "It was actually a slow one, which is a blessing and a curse. It's nice when we don't have any serious injuries." He grinned. "But it can make time seem like it's crawling."

He used the tongs in the salad bowl to fork out portions for them both before sitting in the chair closest to her. Laying his hand upright on the table, he let her lay her palm against his before he said grace.

Edward moaned when the taste of her sauce burst over his tongue. "My God, woman, you can cook."

She grinned softly at his enjoyment. "I used to do more when I was younger. If I hadn't, Dad and I would've starved."

Edward took the opening to ask a question that had been bugging him. "Bella, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what happened to your mother?"

She put her fork down, and Edward wished he could take the question back. Her dark eyes were solemn when she looked to him.

"My mother left us when I was a baby. Charlie raised me by himself. We didn't hear from her until I was a teenager, and only then because she was dying of AIDS. The man she left us for was an IV drug user. She got the disease from him."

Edward put his utensils down, as well.

"Dad never stopped loving her. Ever. So when she called, he flew to L.A. and brought her back home. She lived for a little over a year."

"I'm so sorry."

She smiled, but it was bittersweet. "Don't be. We all came to peace with it and our relationship. I think at fifteen, I was older than my mom. While I had a lot of anger about her choices and absence from my life, I at least had that time with her."

"Forks is a small town from what I hear. I imagine there were a lot of people who had something to say about you and your father's choices."

She grinned a devil-may-care grin. "Yeah. Small town, small minds. We didn't care. The people who were our friends stuck by us."

Edward thought back to what Leah had said, about Bella being a strong woman. He was beginning to see what she'd meant.

"The doctors in Germany didn't know what to say when I insisted on all the possible tests. There is so much misinformation out there, and the doctors don't always know how to present the facts for fear of scaring someone to death." She reached down to pick up her fork and speared a bite of spicy sausage. "I'm clean, by the way. They tested me in Germany, and I've done a three month and six month follow-up."

Edward nodded. "I can imagine it was a relief to get the results."

She chewed slowly on the spicy meat she'd used for their meal before responding. "Yes, it meant I had a chance."

Understanding completely, he chose not to focus on all she'd gone through. When and if she needed to talk, he knew she would.

"I talked to Carol today."

"Your therapist?"

"Yeah, about us. About us going to sessions together."

Edward smiled, hopeful. "Was she supportive of the idea?"

"Yes. For couples counseling, but she also suggested a sex therapist."

He picked up his bottle of water, taking a deep drink before he could respond. "A wise suggestion, actually. But are you sure you're ready for that with me?"

Glancing shyly down at her plate, Bella nodded softy, while a blush blossomed across her cheeks. She glanced up at him through her eyelashes. "I want to be ready with you."

Reaching toward her, he breathed a sigh of relief when she put her hand in his without hesitation. "Bella, there's no hurry. If you're feeling any sort of pressure from me, please let me know and I'll back off."

She squeezed his hand. "No, the pressure is in me. I want you, and it kills me not to be able to touch you." The blush was back, staining her checks with color.

Lust sped across Edward's skin, blood rushing to the very male part of him. Scooting forward to hide his reaction to her words under the table, he disguised the action by putting his other hand on the table, reaching for her.

"You are touching me."

"Not in the way I want.

"Not in the way I want either, but for now, it's enough Bella." He chuckled. "I imagine this is how it must have felt for men and women back at the turn of the century. Holding hands and wanting a kiss. Even that was considered beyond the pale."

Bella pulled back slowly, squeezing his hands before she let go. "I might have an idea."

"An idea?" Interest made Edward's voice hoarse.

"I'll tell you as soon as we finish dinner, but not before."

She giggled at the huge forkful of spaghetti Edward put in his mouth.

They had the dishes washed and dried before she worked up the nerve to talk to him.

Rolling to the table, she sat a cup of tea in front of him before folding her hands together and staring at them. "I realized something today with Carol."

She hesitated, making Edward smirk. "Bella, just say it, whatever it is." He took a sip of his tea, savoring the taste. Bella had become an expert at steeping it.

"I need control."

"Control?"

"Of your hands. Of you. For now, at least."

"I'm not sure I understand." His eyes crinkled at the corners.

"I'll be right back," she said softly, rolling toward the door leading to her bedroom.

Wrapping his hands around the cup to savor the warmth, Edward waited patiently. It was difficult. She'd tantalized him with the idea of a kiss, something he'd savor, so wait he would, even if it was killing him. Somehow he managed to keep his attention on the tea when she rolled beside him, but he barely kept from spitting out the sip he'd taken when Bella placed a set of padded handcuffs on the table beside his hands. Eyes rising to hers, he grinned at the mixture of embarrassment and hope on her face.

"I would totally tease you at this moment if I thought I could get by with it."

Chewing on her bottom lip, Bella picked the handcuffs back up. "I need to feel safe that you won't grab me," she said in a voice so soft it was difficult to hear. He also heard the fear laced in her words.

Setting down the cup of tea, Edward scooted the chair back and turned it toward the living room. He held his hands up for Bella.

She shook her head, confusing him. "Can you . . ." She paused, a growl rumbling out of her chest. "Can you put your hands down to your side?"

Intrigued, he did so, watching her rise from her chair, using his shoulder to balance as she moved behind him.

"Hold on," he asked and moved the chair out even farther from the table, so she had plenty of room.

Desire licked at him when he felt the first of the cuffs wrap his wrist in cushioned restraint. Pulling a breath into his lungs, Edward allowed the feeling to warm his skin. He'd played with handcuffs before, but he'd never been the recipient of the binding. He wasn't into serious kink, like one of his friends was, but having a woman at his mercy to tease and tantalize until she sobbed for release was definitely a turn on. Restraint was something he was willing to do for Bella, and Bella alone.

Bella wrapped the short length of the cord binding the two cuffs together through the slats of the chair before wrapping her fingers around Edward's free hand.

"Edward, are you still okay with this?"

She stroked her fingertips along his wrists and down his fingers to his fingertips, marveling at the strength in his hands. She felt him shudder and her body reacted. Her nipples pebbled hard, chafing against the sensible cotton bra she wore.

"Yes." Lust clawed at Edward, her touch traveling across his skin causing his heart to race.

She was gentle as she secured the second cuff, brushing down his fingers softly before straightening. Stepping back in front of him, Bella's lips parted at the sight before her.

Edward's chest heaved and his pupils were wide, turning his eyes almost black. The skin was stretched tightly across his sharp cheekbones, and a fine layer of sweat covered his forehead. Unable to stop her eyes from wandering, she glanced down and saw his erection outlined by the jeans.

Waves of fear and desire battled within her and she had to grip his shoulder to keep from falling. Weak from the slight bend she'd accomplished to bind him and her raging emotions, she closed her eyes to hide the sight of his arousal.

"Bella?" His voice was low, but she could hear his concern.

This was not how she'd wanted this to go, but even with the fear, she felt a moment of victory. She was touching him. Sure, it was just the strong muscles of his shoulder covered in the soft fabric of a much washed shirt – but she was touching him. And he was turned on. And his cock, as Jake had educated her most men called their penis, was hard. And it was not small.

"Just a moment. Let me . . ." She couldn't continue the words, but she squeezed his shoulder and felt the tense muscles relax slightly. The idea she should let him go stormed across her consciousness; the thought that this was enough for the first time. But she wanted so much more. Torn, she started to move to his back, but his words stopped her.

"As I said, I tend to deal with stressful situations with humor. So this would be the moment I'd say something like 'Obviously, I'm not going anywhere.'"

She snorted. God, he was a dork. But what he was doing was working, because it reminded her that his hands were thoroughly secure, and he'd have to lift the chair he was attached to in order to follow her if she needed to run. Power flowed through her veins as the notion took root, and she opened her eyes to find him watching her carefully.

A jolt of pure electricity zinged between them, making the hair on her arms stand on end.

Obviously aware of the insane attraction between them, he smirked at her, bringing her focus to his lips.

A kiss. She wanted a kiss.

Before fear found root, she shuffled around to face him and took the dive. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she straddled him but kept several inches between her vagina and his cock.

Vagina was such a weird name for that feminine part of her, and Bella had used all the slang words in the past, but the time in captivity had ruined those. Her captors had used American terms as they'd abused her, so to keep her sanity, she'd reverted back to the textbook word in her head when she had to talk about it.

 _I'll have to tell Edward,_ she thought, but the words wouldn't come. Her brain short-circuited when she focused on his face.

She'd thought he was beautiful before, but with his eyes half closed in lust, his mouth slightly parted, and his chest heaving, he was delicious. Something to be tasted and savored.

"I want to touch you," she said.

He groaned, closing his eyes for a second and taking a deep breath. "Hell, yeah."

She leaned forward slightly, placing her fingertips on his sharp cheekbones. Smooth satin teased her. His skin was almost flawless and definitely too pretty to be wasted on a man. And while she'd admired his eyes, she hadn't noticed how thick and long his eyelashes were.

Breaking away from the intensity of his gaze, she watched her fingers as they slid across his face, coming back to trace the sharp angle again. His eyebrows were next, and she felt her nipples tighten at the silky feel.

Edward must have been doing his own observations because she felt his thighs twitch. For a moment, it was too much. He was strong there, and the feeling of muscles bunching between her legs brought back a myriad of memories. She froze, and he did too.

Her fingers raced to his lips when he started to speak. She placed them across his mouth to stop the words.

"I'll stop if it's too much, trust me."

"I need to ask a question?" His voice was dark, liquid velvet. "I can attempt to control my reactions, if it's what you need?"

Feeling the pure desire shooting from her fingertips down her arms and to her core at the feel of his lips moving against her fingertips, she shook her head. "No! No." While the tensing of his thighs had caused a moment of panic, she felt moisture at her core and thrilled in her reaction. Damn, she was really getting turned on and the fear was losing the battle. But she knew the war could turn in a moment's notice. "I . . . you know . . . I need space between me and you there." She waved her hand toward their crotches.

His eyes flitted down for a second before capturing hers. If at all possible, his eyes darkened even more. "Okay. Movement and reactions are okay as long as I don't thrust up against you. And words?"

She stiffened.

"No words today. We'll work on that later." He swallowed harshly and the bob of his throat fascinated her. Blowing a soft breath out, she felt him master his body, relaxing between her legs and under her touch.

The moment really hit her. She had Edward Cullen bound and at mercy to her will.

Without thought, she pushed her fingers into his hair, tugging at the strands like she'd wanted to do from almost the start. Twisting in pleasure, she felt her clit throb as the silkiness of his hair tantalized the sensitive nerve ending in her fingers. Edward's moan licked at her, and her breasts ached, wanting him to touch them, tug at her nipples, and taste her.

 _Go away,_ she silently screamed at the horror trying to rise.

Edward struggled to keep his eyes open as Bella pulled sharply at his hair. Other women had done this, and he hadn't quite understood their fascination with the crazy mess, but with Bella, it was his kryptonite. He had to struggle not to lift up and press his cock to her, as he'd promised. He could feel the heat of her through his and her jeans. He'd almost lost it when her nipples had peaked, taunting him through the T-shirt she wore.

 _Oh God,_ he swore internally when she reached the base of his head and tugged at the fine hairs there. He felt pre-cum leaking from his dick. He hadn't come in his pants since he was fourteen, but he was about to, and Bella had only touched his face.

Continuing with her exploration, Bella enjoyed the taut muscles of his neck, stopping to feel the throbbing of his pulse.

She could see his soul in the depths of green. Desire ran rampant through them, but he was fighting against it. Did she want him to? Knowing she made him crazy was awakening a part of her she'd long thought dead.

She felt desirable.

Not ready to be touched yet, but like someone who possibly deserved it.

"Are you okay?" she asked, watching him pant.

He chuckled, but the sound of it was pained. "Yes, but you're driving me crazy." For a moment she saw fear cross his features, and she started to ask what he was thinking, but true to form, he was honest with her. "I almost came just from you pulling my hair. I'm afraid what will happen if I do."

Her gaze flew to his erection, and her inner muscles clenched at how tight his jeans were around the bulge. Dropping her hands to his shoulders, she pulled great gulps of breath into her chest as she watched him swell even more.

"Bella! You've got to stop. I can't handle you looking at me like that right now." Edward ground his teeth, seeking control. "Water," he gasped. "Can you give me a drink of water?"

Bella shook her head to clear the cobwebs desire had built in her head.

They both needed a break.

She didn't know whether to be glad or sad when she saw the fire of lust dim slightly across his face while she held the bottle of liquid for him to drink.

Running her fingers across his chin to collect a drop of water that trailed down, the devilish part of her took over and she brought them to her mouth, to taste. Edward growled and the electricity sparked even hotter than before between them. The break had been but a brief respite from the heat.

"Okay, no touching," she gasped, and Edward nodded softly in agreement.

"There's no doubt that when we get to that point, it's going to be explosive."

His voice wrapped around her senses, and she wondered what it would be like to hear him talking to her as they made love, to have him whisper to her as he took her, to feel his breath across her ear as he nibbled on it.

"Bella!" he said harshly, calling her back to the present. Shaking his head, he looked tortured. "I don't know what you were thinking about right then, but save it until later, because damn . . ." He leaned his head back against the chair, sucking in mouthfuls of air. "Give me a minute."

She waited patiently, using the time to calm down herself.

They both laughed when he finally raised his head and winked at her.

"I just want to try one kiss."

Her voice was full of promise, and the heat was back in his eyes, the two attempts at cooling down ridiculous memories.

"Stay very still," Bella begged.

The sound of their breaths grew heavy as Bella slowly approached, her eyes glued to his lips in order to ignore the fire of his gaze. Edward twitched.

"Don't move." Her voice was firmer, more directive.

She used his shoulders to steady and paused just inches from him, testing her reaction.

Edward remained perfectly still, his lips parted. He could smell her, the soap she'd used and a sweet shampoo. He watched as her eyes closed in concentration, how her eyes moved rapidly behind the delicate skin. He throbbed, the coarse material of his jeans constricting him in a way that was helping him hang on, because Bella, her heat, smell, and proximity, were enough to cause him to erupt.

Slowly, she moved closer, and he could feel her breath stirring over his face. It was sweet torture. Blood rushed through him, drowning out everything but the harsh intakes of air. The silence of the apartment surrounded them, expectation thick in the air.

The first touch of their lips was electrifying. It was a mere brush of skin on skin, but Edward's muscles seized in pleasure.

Bella jolted from the touch. She lunged toward him, kissing him again, placing her front against his, feeling the pressure of her nipples against the hard wall of his chest. His thick cock pressed against her, and it took everything she had not to grind against him as her fingernails dug into the muscle of his shoulder. She could feel her heart beating wildly against him as she pressed them together again, her tongue reaching out to swipe against his lips. She forgot why she needed to stay in control, tasting him time and time again as their breath mingled.

She wanted to sink into him, to crawl under his skin and live there. She wanted to taste him, to run her tongue along his skin and bite him. Hands fisting in his hair, she groaned, twisting against him. She relished the moment fire ignited between her legs, sending waves of pleasure along her nerves and across her skin.

Oh God, it felt so good.

Good! That wasn't even the word. And if this is what a simple kiss did to her, she couldn't imagine what it would be like to actually make love to him.

Finding a grain, a mere particle of sanity, she tore her lips away, leaning down so that Edward's were at her forehead. Disoriented by the power of what had just happened, Bella relaxed against him, panting. He shook against her, but murmured sweet words she couldn't comprehend on her skin. It could've been hours later before she was able to move.

Shyness at what she'd done made her want to hide her face. "I lost control," she admitted.

He chuckled, and they both gasped at what the movement did between them.

"I liked it," he admitted. "Maybe a little too much right now, but hey, you're not going to hear me complain."

Her smile was a little off when she placed her hand against his face, cupping his cheek. "You okay?"

He arched his eyebrows slightly and smiled. "Nothing some alone time in my shower won't take care of."

She shook her head and bit her lip as a blush warmed her cheeks. She backed away from the very engorged part of him, ecstatic to realize she didn't really want to.

"I need to get out of here for now," he admitted softly.

She squeaked realizing she still had him handcuffed. Moving as fast as she could, she had to still lean against him to find her balance. He didn't move, though, when she had him freed.

"Do you need to step away from me?" he asked.

A moment of panic surged, but she ruthlessly beat it down. "No."

Slowly rising, he gave her time to become accustomed to him beside her. Bella's heart thumped in a very good way when he stood over her, lust making his face dark, his eyes glitter.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said gently before moving to the door and opening it.

"Bella." He leaned against it for a moment.

"Yeah." Her response was quiet, nervous.

"That was the best damn kiss I've ever had."

 _Seriously? They hadn't even touched tongues._ She thought.

 _Get real, you know it was,_ the woman inside her preened.

"Keep those handcuffs with you," he ordered before closing the door behind him with a mischievous grin.

The full importance of what had happened hit Bella within a second of the door sliding closed between them. After one full spin of delight, she collapsed back into her wheelchair, a goofy smile covering her face.

~Honor~

AN: Hope it met your expectations? As you can see, we still have a ways to go with these two.

~Apathy~

A serial killer is taking the hearts of affluent women in Atlanta and the FBI has called in their specialist, Katherine Byrd, to aid their investigation. Helping Allain Boudreaux, an agent from New Orleans who has similar murders of his own to solve, Katherine must use her supernatural gift to help provide clues. Experiencing the victims' deaths when she touches them, Katherine attempts to keep the FBI agents in the dark about the true cost of her help: the pain each memory causes her. In a race against time, Katherine and Allain track the enigmatic killer while battling their attraction to each other. When the killer strikes again, will Katherine become his next victim, or will Allain and the other FBI agents be able to save her?

" _Bastard! How dare you. You won't get away with this!" I was shrieking. This treatment was entirely unacceptable. He obviously didn't know who I was._

 _His chuckling rang out, and before I could think, I spit at him. It landed short increasing my fury, but the only reaction I received was his look of utter boredom. He moved with a slight limp out of the light and into the shadows. A few moments later, he returned with a stool in one hand, the other had another bucket and washcloth. Placing the stool on floor, he walked closer. I was fully expecting another dousing; instead, he raised a wet washcloth to my face. When I jerked away, he captured my hair, pulling it tightly._

" _You not only act like a whore, you look like one."_

 _I struggled to get away from him, but his hold was too tight. "How dare you touch me you fucking son of a bitch!"_

" _I'm tempted to wash your mouth out with soap."_

" _Try it and see what happens." I would bite his fingers off. I tried as he ran the washcloth across my face over and over before stopping._

" _Much better." Returning to the stool, he perched gracefully before he raised a critical eye at me. "All that prettiness hiding a nasty low-class gutter wrench. No wonder you can't keep a man in your bed. They see you for what you are soon enough, huh?"_

" _Ha! Last night was probably the best sex you've ever had. I'm not sure what I took to be stupid enough to let you tie me up like this, but either way, I'm sure I rocked your world. Now be a good little boy and let me go. I'm way out of your league."_

 _His eyes widened in regret, and he stood quickly, rushing over to me. "I'm sorry, your right. Let me help you." He reached for the restraints, ready to untie me, and I was glad he'd seen reason. This had all been a misunderstanding; one I'd quickly rectify to my satisfaction once I was loose. Then I gasped as I felt the ties around my wrists tighten. He kissed at me in the air, mocking his actions before saying, "Trust me, last night was unmemorable for me. Brushing his clothes off like I'd defiled him, he returned to the chair and reached for a remote, turning on some classical piece of shit._

 _I tried to lunge, but the chains stopped me short._

" _I'm going to kill you. My father will track you down and cut your fucking heart out."_

 _He laughed, throwing his head back and letting his mirth echo loudly in the room. "No, Marlena, that is what I'm going to do to you."_

 _It was then I saw the glint on metal in his hand, the swirl of the blade between his fingers._

 _Missing women . . . A serial killer . . . The choke hold . . . The cloying scent._

 _A howl filled the room as he rose._

AN: If you're interested, you can send a copy of the receipt to: content1akaapril

At

Gmail

Dot

Com


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

I'm sorry for such a short update, but I'm working on another one for hopefully before Christmas day! It will rely on the blessings (and schedules) of my betas. As always, a shout out to the Fab Five for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power!

My internet is finally fixed, so I promise to respond to each and every one of the reviews this week – include any questions you may have (or have had and I couldn't answer), and I'll do my best to respond as long as they don't spoil the plot. Smile! In addition, I may even include a "non-betaed" preview.

In the event I don't post until after Christmas, I hope each of you will celebrate (or have celebrated if your religious holiday has already occurred) a wonderful, family and loved filled holiday.

I'm off to cheat on Edward this morning with my first crush – Luke Skywalker. My husband took me opening night on a date, but I'm carrying six of my kids to see it this morning. I've been in total love with four men in my life . . . Luke Skywalker, George Bailey (James Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life for those who didn't know the character's name), Edward Cullen – and the actors that portray them – and my husband. He gets my weirdness and put up with me screaming in joy and shock during the movie (NO – I won't spoil it for any of you who haven't seen the movie yet). I'm still needing therapy, and I'm sure the second viewing will only add to that. HA!

But seriously, I hope each of you have a wonderful Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukah, Eid al-Adha, Yule, or Festivus for the Rest of Us (as created by Frank on Seinfeld)!

~Honor~

" _Jamie?"_

" _Yeah?" His reply came through clearly in the pitch black of their prison._

 _Desperate to remind herself of humanity and ignore the pain slicing through her body and threatening to steal her dignity, Bella needed to talk. She and Jamie had spoken often about their families since they'd been thrown in the hole together. She'd learned about his parents, brothers, and their wives . . . and his single brother, Edward. Bella felt like she knew them after so many stories._

" _What do you think they're doing back home?"_

 _He was quiet so long she wondered if he'd passed out again._

" _Jamie?"_

" _I'm here. Just thinking." He squeezed Bella's hand softly. "My mom is probably a wreck, because we're all her babies, no matter how old we are. And Dad's comforting her. I can only imagine he's had to work hard to get her mind off things. Emmett's acting a fool, even though he's far from it, and we can only thank the heavens above that Rose keeps him from going too far. Alice is manic, I'm sure. She'll be the one picking up behind my mom. Thank goodness Jasper is there to level them all out."_

 _Bella felt him shift slightly._

" _But I hope that in the middle of it all, they're having Sunday dinners. And fussing. And I hope Emmett is still stealing Edward's desserts, because it drives Edward crazy when Em gets away with it. Jasper wins all the pool wars, so they have to be continuing that tradition. It should be getting warm enough for them to use it. He's such an ass." Jamie's snicker was soft. "'It's all about strategy.'" He mimicked what Bella could only assume was his brother's voice. "I swear, one day, I hope someone takes him down."_

" _Sounds like you all have a lot of fun together."_

 _Bella felt Jamie shiver against her. "I love them. And more importantly, they love me. I got lucky Bella, really lucky, considering the horror stories I've heard over the years about families."_

 _They both jumped as retorts of gunfire echoed in the distance._

" _How about you?" he asked after a few minutes of blessed silence._

" _Yeah, I got lucky too. I suspect, when Charlie's not at work, he's staring at the television too much. I'm hoping Jake has been making him go fishing. Charlie's really good at it, or at least settling back in a chair with a pole in his hands."_

 _Bella's lips twisted in a semblance of a smile, but Jamie couldn't see it. It would've been a good thing, if he could have, considering how brutal the men had been a few hours prior. He feared he and Bella didn't have long. The men didn't want to accept they didn't know secrets, things that would turn the war in their favor._

" _It's actually one of my favorite hobbies with my dad." Bella's words brought Jamie back to their conversation._

" _You like fishing, Major?"_

 _Bella wanted to snicker at the sound of disbelief in his voice, but the wholesome memories were painful. Would she ever be able to experience such happiness again?_

" _I like sitting on the boat with my dad and drinking a beer while he fishes. Does that count?"_

" _Yeah, definitely."_

 _They were quiet for a long time._

" _Major, what day is it?"_

 _Bella started to panic about Jamie's confusion, but then realized she didn't know. They'd lost track with the men leaving them for longer and longer periods of time in utter darkness._

" _I think I've missed Edward's birthday."_

" _When is it?"_

" _June_ _twentieth."_

 _It was likely he had. It'd been late May when they'd been shot down, and they'd been there for at least three weeks._

" _When we're home, my mom always spoils us for our birthdays. She makes our favorite cake. We don't have to share if we don't want to, and the others have to settle for whatever else she makes."_

" _What's your favorite?"_

" _Angel cake with fresh strawberries."_

 _Bella snickered. "Does your mom know you at all?"_

 _Jamie's laughter was soft. "Of course. I'm her darling angel."_

" _What a load of crap. Don't ever let me meet your mom, because I'll set her straight."_

" _She would really like you."_

 _He was silent again for the longest time, and Bella had almost dozed off before he spoke. "Major, if I don't make it—"_

" _Stop!" she cried out. It would be admitting they weren't going to live, and she just couldn't allow the hope to fade away._

 _Jamie didn't push it and sleep finally claimed them both._

Bella's throat was sore when she woke screaming, telling her she'd been doing it for some time. Darkness surrounded her, and it felt like there was a weight on her chest, pressing down. In her dream, it'd been a boot. A guard, who'd thought it funny to suffocate her as the interrogator . . .

Shaking, she fumbled for the phone and hit speed dial.

Unable to say a word, she could only make a choking sound into the phone when Edward answered.

"Bella?" He took only a second to understand. "Hold on, I'll be right there."

Huddled against the headboard, she clenched the phone, hearing his approach through the connection as well as the heavy clank of the door when he used the key she'd insisted he keep. It had been a struggle, letting go of that security, but she was grateful now that she'd done it.

"Bella, I'm here. I'm coming in the room now," he called out.

Unable to respond, she closed her eyes until she felt the bed shift softly, letting her know he sat at the far edge.

"What can I do to help?" he asked softly.

She shook violently from the dream about the conversation Jamie and she had had about his family . . . one of the last. Sucking big breaths of air into her lungs, she attempted to calm.

The bed shifted, and Edward draped something across her lap before moving back. "I'm going to turn the bathroom light on so we can see one another."

Using the light from his phone, he moved across the room to flip the switch. The beacon of brightness that came from the crack he left in the bathroom door illuminated the room enough that she could see his robe across her lap. In a flash, she wrapped it around her, breathing in his scent and soaking in the warmth from the heavy fleece. Shivering in delight, she pulled the collar up to take a deeper breath.

"What we did last night, did it cause this?"

Bella detected a hint of horror and self-loathing in his voice. She didn't know how she did, but the emotions were clear. Edward was beating himself up over something that had been so beautiful.

"No!" Bella's voice was adamant. "No, I was dreaming about Jamie."

A rush of air left Edward's chest at his brother's name. "Can I sit closer?" He pointed to her side.

She nodded, thankful he'd thought to turn the light on. Still, she had to take a couple of breaths as he settled beside her. Edward was a tall man, and contrary to the fact he put in long hours at a hospital, he obviously worked out. His broad shoulders were well defined with muscles. She'd traced those very muscles with her fingertips just hours earlier. Remembering how he'd allowed her to explore, Bella's tension disappeared. While power rolled from him in waves, his control was even stronger. And he'd allowed her to touch him, without asking for anything. Deliberately, before fear could freeze her, she moved closer, leaning into his side.

"Can I put my arm around you?" he asked.

"Try," she squeaked.

Aware of how much this had to be costing her, Edward moved very slowly, allowing the weight of his arm to ease on her shoulders at a pace where she could've bolted, if she'd wanted to.

She didn't, but she had to take more deep breaths to calm her racing heart. His heat burned at her side. Shivering in pleasure, Bella sank into him.

"Let me know if it becomes too much, and I'll move."

She hummed. Like Jamie, Edward was comfortable with silence, and Bella felt her stress ease slowly.

"We don't have to go to my parents' if it's too stressful."

"No, I want to." Reaching down, she traced her fingertips across the top of his hand. "Edward. I have nightmares. Sometimes they're not really nightmares, but memories of being there. I . . . Tonight, it was a good memory. I'm not even sure why I was screaming when I woke."

He squeezed her shoulder quickly, so quickly Bella didn't even have the time to panic.

"In the hospital, there was always someone around. I think the silence here reminds me of being there with him."

"Is it too much, being alone?"

Bella paused to think through her answer. "I don't think so. I need to be here, on my own, and have time to think through everything." Shaking her head, Bella said softly, "I probably shouldn't have called you."

Turning to her, Edward waited until she looked at him. "When I told you I was here for you, did you believe me?"

She nodded.

"Then why would you deny me the opportunity to help you?"

"Edward, I—"

"No, Bella, listen to me. Don't you understand I would go crazy thinking you were suffering because you felt guilty for calling me?" He squeezed her hand.

She dropped her eyes to where he'd threaded his fingers through hers. She hadn't even realized it. There'd been no panic, no ghost of pain. Awareness shot through her. Edward held her to his side, secured by the arm around her shoulder, while he held her hand. Instead of the panic attack that should've happened, she felt at peace, his very presence soothing the wounds.

"Yeah, I understand." She acknowledged his question.

He brushed his thumb across hers. It was but a brief caress. "I love your independence and drive to heal from your injuries. I respect you have to do this your way; just please remember there is a man over here who wants to be at your side."

A single tear tracked down Bella's face as she felt the rightness settle in her chest.

~Honor~

AN: Hope you enjoyed!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

I am wishing you and yours a most blessed Christmas (or other Holiday) as I post this for Christmas Eve. Offering this brief snippet up as a gift to you, acknowledging it should have been attached to the shorter chapter this week – but hey, at least it is here now.

~Honor~

The Cullens' home was a two story Colonial. White, it had black shutters and a red wood door. The front porch was supported by four columns, with two more at the back of the house. A dormer above the porch most likely housed an attic, and an addition to the side was surrounded by bare rose bushes. Mostly windows, Bella could only speculate as to what they would use the room for. A flagstone walk led to the front door from the circular driveway Edward pulled into.

It was a beautiful home, but decked out in Christmas finery, it was a masterpiece. Wreaths with large red bows graced each window, and Bella could see candles sitting in each one. Above the door, a large spray of greenery dripped finery down each side. Lazy snowflakes floated down, landing on the ground and reflecting in the sunlight.

"Mom refuses to take Christmas decorations down until the end of January. Like Jamie, it's her favorite time of the year," Edward explained when he saw what had captured her attention.

"And this year it's probably even harder for her to let go," Bella murmured.

"Yeah."

Neither moved for a moment, watching the snow continue to fall gently.

"The garage is around back, but there are stairs. I figured it would be easier to bring your wheelchair in and out the front door."

Bella looked down the pathway and saw only slight steps to the porch and then to the main door. "I can use my cane. But I'll definitely need my chair if we're staying the day."

Edward grinned at her. "You know my mom is going to want to convince you to stay until the very last moment. She's already said you need to eat. It's too bad it's so cold, because I'd love to get you in a swimming suit and in the pool." He waggled his thick eyebrows at her.

"Pervert," Bella muttered good-naturedly.

"Yeah, I'll admit it. My girlfriend likes to shackle me, and it turns me on."

Bella was rendered mute while Edward exited the car with a chuckle. It was a close call as to what had rendered her speechless more – that he'd called her his girlfriend, or that he'd teased her about what they'd done. She'd recovered speech by the time he opened the door, cane in hand.

Eyes narrowed, she beckoned him to come closer with her index finger. When he complied, his face close to hers, she whispered, "I bought cuffs for your feet too," she said as seductively as she could.

He gasped and jerked a few inches backward, so he could look at her.

"Really?" His voice was hoarse, eager.

"Imagine the damage I could do to your self-control with those?"

His eyes darkened, and he licked his lips before he chuckled. "Considering the result of your efforts last time, I'm up for anything you want to throw my way." He straightened. "But for now, I'd better concentrate on anything other than your plans, or I'll embarrass myself and you in front of my parents."

"Bock bock," she clucked like a chicken.

He laughed at her while he held the cane out. "Let me get the wheelchair for later," he said.

Bella stood slowly, finding her balance, but she didn't start walking toward the house until Edward came back for her. Slowly, they made their way toward the door, Bella relishing the pull on her muscles the short exercise provided and the burn of the cold air in her lungs. She felt so . . . alive.

When she was close to the house, Edward's parents came out to greet them.

"Bella! It's so good to see you." Esme's smile was warm, her beautiful face serene.

Bella eased her way onto the porch, using her cane and Edward's hand to navigate the small step.

"Mrs. Cullen, thank you so much for having me." Bella grinned at the woman, trying not to stare at Edward's father. He tongue-tied her with his angelic good looks.

"Esme, please. And Carlisle." She glanced up at her husband and gave him a soft smile. It was one full of secrets and love.

Carlisle smirked, and it was so similar to Edward's smile Bella couldn't help but grin. "I marinated steaks overnight and put them on the grill earlier. They should be about right for lunch." His voice was almost as seductive as his son, but when he smiled, Bella barely contained a gasp. For a moment, she'd glimpsed Jamie in his features.

Jamie had had Carlisle's coloring, the blond hair and blue eyes. The twinkling in Edward's father's eyes told Bella that Jamie'd had his dad's sense of humor, as well.

"Quit yakking and let them come in. We're starving," a booming voice yelled from inside.

It was Emmett. His voice would be hard to mistake. Jasper was even more reserved than Edward, but Emmett was entirely different. It appeared he'd never met a stranger and embraced life, if his crazy dancing at Jamie's funeral was any indication. His wife was so model-perfect, Bella had been worried upon first seeing Rose Cullen that she'd be snotty. Her fear had been proven false almost immediately as Rose joined her husband and danced like a crazy woman. It would seem Rose had gotten the looks, but not the moves.

Emmett appeared just inside the door, a broad smile on his face.

"Bella! You haven't left my brother yet?" he teased.

Grinning, Bella shook her head as Edward led her inside. "No, in fact, he seems pretty bound and determined to stay with me."

Edward coughed in an attempt to keep from laughing at Bella's play on words.

The smell of the house surrounded them as soon as they stepped inside. It was a wonderful blend of greenery, cinnamon, and apples. She saw a large library to her right, but her attention was caught by the masterpiece to the left. Open to the living room ahead was a dream kitchen. Stainless steel, cherry wood, and sand colored tile came together for a feeling of warmth and elegance. Blonde hair tied back in a high ponytail, Rose was taking an apple pie out of the oven. Bella smiled at her, and was dazzled when the woman smiled back. Definitely model material.

A large table took up space to the side of the kitchen. While it was a piece of art, it wasn't decorated in a pretentious manner. A glass bowl piled high with apples sat in the middle. Plates had already been set for eight around the various covered dishes.

The expansive living room contained a large screen television filling a good part of one of the walls and a sectional sofa, upon which Jasper sat, his arm along the back, his tiny wife, Alice, tucked against his side. A huge Christmas tree twinkled to the side of the wide staircase leading up to the second floor. Bella didn't take the time to observe every decoration, but what she did see gave her the feeling of a home with love displayed. For a professional designer, Esme had incorporated a lot of family pictures and memorabilia with the obvious high quality furniture and paintings.

"I'll go pull the steaks off the grill," Carlisle said softly before leaning down to kiss Esme's forehead.

"We might as well go ahead and sit at the table," Edward suggested. "My father is serious enough about his grilling to brave snow, but he insists on a five minute wait time before we eat."

In answer to Bella's raised eyebrow, he chuckled. "My dad claims the meat is better off the grill if you allow time for the juices to settle back in. I won't pretend to understand it, but I will tell you my dad is one of the best grill masters you'll ever meet."

"I'm all for a good steak anytime." She grinned before chattering her teeth like a hungry dog.

"My kinda gal," Emmett thumped his fists against his chest.

His wife proceeded to smack the back of his head. "Sit, Tarzan," she ordered.

He grunted as he did, but it was clear he was tickled at his wife's reaction.

As Bella moved to a chair, Jasper and Alice joined them, the tiny woman sitting to Bella's side. "Hey," she said softly. "I won the draw to get to sit beside you. I was willing to really act up if I didn't."

"Ali!"

"I'm not going to tell her how awful you are," Alice teased Edward, giving Bella a wink. "I just want to talk with her." She rolled her eyes at Bella. "Edward can be such a stickler sometimes, but we love him anyway."

Edward mumbled "Brat" under his breath, but Bella saw the slight curve to his lips. Alice was obviously someone he cared very much about.

"You would think Alice is Edward's sibling, not me," Jasper offered from beside his wife. "They fight like cats and dogs, Bella, but don't go against them. They make a formidable team." He grinned at his wife's grumpy face, leaning over to kiss her forehead quickly.

Bella liked Jasper's easy spirit. He and Alice appeared to be a perfect blend.

Carlisle entered with the steaks, bringing the focus back on the food. Within minutes, Bella had a juicy slab of meat, a baked potato, spicy pasta with sundried tomatoes and asparagus, salad, and fresh yeast rolls arranged nicely before her. After a simple, but sincere prayer, from Carlisle the family "dug in" as Jacob would say. It was a feisty group without the kids, who were in school, and within a few minutes, Bella and Alice had exchanged enough questions and answers that she felt extremely comfortable with the tiny woman. Rose was by no means quiet, contributing to the conversation from across the table. Bella knew, from Jamie, that Rose and Alice ran a successful web design business from an office in Jasper and Alice's home. Jamie had told her the two were like sisters, so she'd wondered if she would be a welcome addition to the table. Women could be so catty at times. Instead, she felt their interest was genuine and not something put on to be polite.

Bella watched the Cullens as they interacted, thinking back to the descriptions Jamie had given her and seeing the love they had for one another.

"Bella," Alice said dragging Bella from her thoughts. "We usually clean the table before dessert, so we can enjoy it in the living room. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure! I won't be much help on putting them away, but I've dried a dish or two in my life." With that statement, she found herself surrounded by the brothers and their wives as Esme and Carlisle were banished from cleaning. She watched them move close to the tree before Carlisle reached for a remote on one the tables. Frank Sinatra's crooning voice, singing _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,_ filled the room and Bella grinned when Carlisle spun Esme before dipping her gently. He kissed her softly when he pulled Esme to him.

"They're always that way," Rose said gently, before handing Bella one of the pots. They'd pulled a stool close to the counter for her. "It's the most romantic thing I've ever seen. I remember thinking, when Emmett and I started dating, that I hoped he got just an ounce of his dad's charisma."

"Did he?" Bella asked, hearing the big Cullen man's boisterous laughter coming from outside where he'd been relegated to cleaning the grill with Edward while Jasper brought in wood for a fire.

A wicked light filled Rose's eyes. "Oh yeah. Most definitely. All the boys did." She winked at Bella as she handed her several cleaned utensils. "Jasper won Alice with the Cullen charm, and Edward's got it too. I think you might be the woman who fully appreciates him."

Bella felt the blush that heated her cheeks, but didn't know how to respond. Rose's soft laugh had her smiling.

When they were finished, Alice pulled several covered cake plates from a side counter, placing them on the bar. She included large mugs for the aromatic coffee she'd started before they began cleaning. Bella almost dropped the mug Alice handed her when she saw a fluffy angel food cake protected by one of the glass domes. A bowl of sliced strawberries was placed to the side.

"You okay?" Rose asked, seeing the color drain from Bella's face.

"Yeah. Jamie told me about his cake though, so it took me by surprise."

Rose turned to look before smiling softly. "Esme fixes it at every gathering now, and we all have a little. I swear it's made my hips like two inches wider because of all the whipped cream I have to add, but I could care less."

Bella felt the sting of tears in her eyes.

"Good or bad tears?" Alice asked, having come to a stand in front of Bella.

"Good."

She squealed and clapped her hands. "Excellent! In addition to the Angel Food, what kind of cake do you want, and I'll bring your plate to the living room?"

Bella eyed the offerings, pointing to one that surely earned the name Death by Chocolate.

"Nice one. Rose made it, and it will melt in your mouth. Now go get a seat, and I'll bring you some."

Handing her coffee mug to Rose for a fill up, she moved slowly toward the couch, grinning again to see Carlisle and Esme slowly rocking to another Sinatra favorite. It was a little odd to hear Christmas songs weeks after the holiday, but it wasn't so odd she couldn't enjoy the leftover spirit.

"You okay?" Edward asked, coming to sit beside her after dropping off the wood he'd carried in for Jasper, who'd managed a roaring fire in the large stone fireplace.

"Yeah." She smiled softly, shifting to melt into his side while she grabbed his hand, linking their fingers.

When Alice and Rose carried Carlisle's and Esme's plates into the room, the couple slowly ended their dancing, Carlisle flipping the remote toward the widescreen television. A recording of the Sunday game between the Seahawks and Bears cued up and Bella felt her skin tingle. Edward had told her to hold off on watching the game so they could do it with the family.

"Are you ready for some football?" Emmett mimicked the familiar slogan, earning several rolled eye expressions.

While dinner had been lighthearted and easy, Bella soon discovered the atmosphere changed when football came into play, and she giggled to see Edward contradicting Emmett's calls on the plays that should've been used. But they all found agreement in calling the referee an idiot on a particularly bad call. It was only when the timer ran down on the first quarter that Edward found something else to be vocal about.

"Damn it, Emmett. I'm going to rip your hands off if you don't stay away from my desserts," Edward growled, seeing the Angel Food cake gone from his plate.

"Dude, I had my own, don't blame me." Emmett was firmly across the sofa table from where Edward and Bella were sitting, but there'd been ample opportunities for the larger sibling to steal bites during times Edward and Jasper had argued.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders at Edward, who was piercing him with a strong stare. After a few moments, Edward slid his assessing glare around to Rose. Finding her lacking in guilt, his gaze finally landed on Bella beside him. Eyes widening, he started laughing so hard he had to lay his head back against the sofa.

"What?" she asked innocently as the family all grinned at her.

"You little thief," Edward finally forced out.

Bella threw her shoulders back and puffed her chest out. "What did you call me?"

Barely getting his laughter under control, he reached slowly for her, gauging her reaction. But when she did not back down, he gently brushed his fingertip across the corner of her mouth, bringing it up before her face to see the tell-tale strawberry syrup.

She huffed, still glaring at him. "Edward, are you tired or something? Because, you know I had my own piece."

"Which you ate immediately. That little clue hasn't been there the entire time we've been watching the game."

Bella maintained her stoic look for a few more seconds before a smile won over. "You snooze, you lose," she said.

Emmett's loud laughter covered up all the others as Edward grinned at her. Tears filled Esme's eyes as she smiled at Carlisle, but they were happy ones, as it was the exact taunt Jamie had used on so many occasions. Bella didn't even realize she'd repeated one of the phrases Jamie had said so many times or the effect of her words on the family. All she could focus on was the fire in Edward's eyes.

Leaning close, he whispered, "For that, you owe me another kiss this evening."

Bella squeaked out an "Ok."

~Honor~

AN: Due to the setting of the original one-shot and the time I set aside for Bella's recovery before she could move into the apartment, we are past Christmas and New Years in the time line. I just wanted to note the fact, since some readers may question why we don't have a specific scene for those events (other than Edward, Bella, and Mildred's viewing of the Christmas movies).

Hope you enjoyed!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

Hope everyone had a Happy New Years!

~Honor~

Edward knocked softly.

"Come on in," Bella called out as she rolled toward the living room, two bottles of water tucked between her leg and the chair.

He grinned at her as he shut the door, locking it behind him. He'd made a detour to his loft to change into something more comfortable. Bella eyed the soft grey T-shirt hugging his sculpted chest and the flannel pajama bottoms with appreciation. Even his sock-covered feet intrigued her.

She placed the waters on the low sofa table. "Are you hungry? I can fix some snacks."

"Nah. I'm full from the wings Mom put out at half-time."

She grinned as he sat on the couch. "I am too. Man, you were right about your mom. I thought she was going to throw something at the television when the ref made that call at the end of the third quarter."

Snickering, Edward rubbed his fists over his eyes. "Had the Seahawks lost, she probably would've written a strongly worded letter to the NFL."

She rolled close to him. "Your family is amazing. I had such a good time. But you're right; we've got to ask my dad to come next time. He's almost as bad as your mom."

He smiled. "It sounds like a date. I know my mom will be thrilled. In fact, be prepared for her to call you all the time. She really likes you . . . I'm just warning you."

"I like her too." Bella reached out for his hand. "Thank you for inviting me, Edward. It's been a while since I've been around such a large group of people. Crowds make me a little nervous right now, so I tend to avoid them as much as possible."

"What's that going to mean for you, in regards to the veterans' group?"

She shrugged, but didn't meet his eyes. "Not sure yet, other than I want to try. It'll be nice to have people to talk to."

Chewing on his bottom lip, Edward shifted nervously. "I wish I could be of more help. I can listen, but I certainly can't relate."

Gasping, Bella jerked her head toward him. "You've helped me so much, you can't even imagine. It's just sometimes hard to explain what it's like over there. I might be able to tell you the heat feels like it will roast you alive, or the sand, when it's blowing, feels like pieces of glass tearing at your skin, flaying the meat from your bones. But someone who's lived it just knows."

"I can only imagine."

"Kinda like I've watched _ER_ , but I'm sure the way it's depicted is nowhere close to a real emergency room."

He barked out a laugh. "Yeah, not even close. There isn't time to have the kind of fun they have on the show while you're patching up people."

Bella scoffed. "Are you attempting to tell me the nurses don't call you some sort of sexy doctor name?"

He smirked, one side of his lips lifting higher than the other. "Not that I know of. We're usually so busy we don't have time to gossip."

"Edward?" Bella leaned forward, putting her other hand on Edward's knee and drawing his full attention.

"Yeah?"

"They talk about you. Trust me."

He rolled his eyes, then arched an eyebrow at her. "What I'd rather know is do _you_ talk about me?"

Bella felt her cheeks warm, but refused to back down from the teasing in his eyes. "Yep. Leah has several lurid fantasies she's determined I undertake with you."

"Really?" His eyebrow rose a little higher. "Anything you want to tell me about?"

"One day. For now, I'm feeling pretty brave with the kiss I stole off you."

He leered at her, causing her to giggle. "You owe me another one, by the way. But I won't be selfish. If you need to wait, it's okay."

"Edward Cullen, if you think you're getting out of this house without giving me a kiss, you're the one who needs to be seeing a therapist."

Thinking about that kiss, Bella grew nervous, releasing him to twist her hands together. She wanted to try something so badly, but didn't know if it was fair to ask it of Edward.

He grew somber and tapped his fingers along the top of her hand softly. It was an odd thing for him to do, but it ironically settled her. "So . . . I've been doing some reading, and I need to ask you a question." He hesitated, taking a deep breath. "Do I need to call you _Mistress Bella_ or _Domme Bella_? Because _Mistress_ , from what I can determine, implies I'm your slave, where _Domme_ would represent your dominance in our sex life?"

Bella froze even as she watched him try to control the quirk of his lips. He was fucking with her . . . and having a good time doing it.

Grabbing a throw pillow from the chair beside her, Bella pushed up from the wheelchair quickly, using the momentum to slam the pillow into his head. Quickly bringing it back to hit his chest, her laughter joined his, as he curled into a ball on the couch. Hitting him several more times for good measure, she jabbed a finger to his ribs, goosing him. "Be quiet."

" _Domme_ – got it," he chuckled, earning a halfhearted growl from her.

Laughing, she smacked him one last time, before lowering to the couch. She'd gone weak in the knees and hadn't meant to do it; her actions brought her hip in contact with his stomach as he lay on his side. Turning his head to look up at her, Edward froze, unwilling to make a move to scare her.

"It's okay. One more baby step, right?" The heat of him burned her.

"Whatever you need, babe."

"I'm on to you, you know?"

"How so?"

"Every time you sense my discomfort, you do something dorky like comment about mistresses and dommes to get me to laugh."

"Bella, can I sit up?" he asked, gestured gently as to how close they were.

"Yeah, sure." She didn't move though, allowing him to slide against her as he did so.

She shivered at the heat the brush caused along her skin. More importantly, she felt her desire rise and the need to lean against him.

"All teasing aside, I really did do research." He shrugged, but she saw him blush at her raised eyebrows. "One of my friends is in the lifestyle, so I'm not ignorant. I called him to get some ideas on bondage." He shook his head slightly. "It's clear when you're in control, it's easier for you to be intimate with me."

He reached to grab her hand, linking their fingers.

"He had lots of questions, things I wasn't willing to or couldn't answer, but he sent ideas." He chuckled. "He even volunteered to come and tie me up for you." At her laugh, he explained, "Danny's bi. He's propositioned me more times than I can tell you. I think he's hoping you'll take him up on it so he can finally get me naked."

With a startled huff, she fell back against him. "He'd better keep his hands off you." She snuggled back against his chest. "Or I'll show him how _mistressy_ I can get."

"I don't think there is such a word as _mistressy_."

She felt his chest shaking against her back. "Well, I'll make him understand it's synonymous with bitchy. I can definitely pull that off, and I'm sure he'll understand the term well enough."

Bella realized, in that moment, that he was wrapped around her back, his arms encircling her. Unease prickled at the back of her neck; feelings of being forced flat to the ground making her heart pound. Sweat collected at the back of her neck as she began to shake.

" _Watch how I'm going to make this little bird cry."_

 _Rough, male laughter echoed in the small space._

" _You know I could keep you as my pet if you were more helpful."_

 _A knee to Bella's back held her pinned._

" _Maybe you like having more than one man at a time." The man's foul breath was wretched. Her stomach rolled, and she vomited clear liquid._

" _Nasty American," he shouted, shoving her face down into the liquid, moving her cheek around in the mess._

" _Hold her . . ."_

 _She saw Jamie behind the men as the pain swelled; he was sliding something under his leg._

"Bella, I'm moving away." Edward's voice came through the buzzing in her ears.

She took deep breaths, calming the panic. "Don't."

He froze.

"I refuse to let them take this away from me." Her harsh breath was loud in the loft. "I refuse." She squeezed her hands into tight fists as she fought against every instinct to run. Minutes ticked by as she fought unseen enemies in her mind.

Edward remained as still as a statue behind her, only breathing easily when she finally leaned back again. "Bella, did I do something?"

"No!" She exhaled harshly. "No, you're perfect. They just took so much, and now I have to take it back." She moved so that she could face him cross-legged on the couch. "Edward." She struggled to find the words. "I'm so fucked up . . . literally. And I want you so badly. I wasn't thinking, but who has to think twice about leaning on their boyfriend, or cuddling? I'm sorry."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Edward closed his eyes for a moment. "You don't have to answer this, but I'd like to ask. Are there certain things I should really stay away from right now?"

Bella's hand moved instinctually to her hair. Edward growled, looking away.

"They held you down by your hair?"

"Yeah." Her voice was very small. "Controlled me with it." She couldn't meet his gaze. "I went to get it all chopped off, but I couldn't even stand for the female hairdresser to touch me."

"Please don't get it cut. I fucking love it," he admitted, his eyes wandering over her face and tracing the length that fell over her breasts. "Fuck, what am I saying? It's your hair. Do what you want."

Something wonderful bloomed in her chest, and she grinned at him. "You really like my hair?"

He nodded, his eyes drinking her in. "Love it. And I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it, but I'll remember, I promise. Anything else?"

"My arms and legs. I freak out if they're held down. They restrained me in the hospital. It didn't turn out well. I blacked out on them."

She saw a suspicious smirk on his face. "What?"

He coughed, attempting to cover up a laugh. At her glare, he admitted, "Well, I think we've determined I'm the only one getting tied down for a while, so it won't be a problem."

The weight that had been pressing against Bella's chest grew lighter. "Hmmm, you're right. But first, can I lean back on you again?"

Edward stretched back, putting his arms out to each side, along the top of the sofa. "Better?"

She shook her head, which caused him to look confused.

"Don't you dare call me _Mistress_ when I ask this, but could we go to my bedroom? I'd like to try and lie beside you on the bed."

Slowly lowering his arms to his side, Edward studied her for a few moments. "Hmm . . . a beautiful woman asking me into her bed. What should I say?" He leaned his head to one side. "No?" He leaned to the other. "Yes?" He grinned when she narrowed her eyes at him. "Such a difficult decision."

She grabbed the pillow again, making him lift his hands in defense as he chuckled.

"Bella, I have a better idea, if you'll allow me to recommend it."

Lowering the pillow, she cocked an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

"I'm thinking the bed would be too much, too soon. Would you consider the La-Z-Boy instead?" He nodded to her favorite chair. "Pushed back, with a couple of blankets and pillows, and it would make a decent bed."

She watched him blush.

"You said you had chains for my legs, right? Or were you kidding?"

Her mouth went dry, but she forced out, "No, I have them."

"Perfect. We can attach one to the ends of each of the cuffs. The extra length will allow you to wrap the restraint around the back of the chair. With the slack, I would have some movement of my arms, but I'd still be thoroughly trapped in a way that you'd know you could get away. It's not perfect like the kitchen chair, but this would allow us to sleep together."

Bella eyed the oversized recliner, mentally seeing what he'd recommended. It would actually be more intimate than lying in the bed, but he was right, she hadn't thought about how she was going to cuff him. Sleeping spread eagle would not be something she'd want to inflict, and she couldn't imagine a position with his hands bound together that would be comfortable. Maybe she needed to speak to his friend after all. She felt her pulse pick up. "Okay."

He smiled at her. "May I use your restroom before you tie me down for your pleasure?" he teased.

On to him, she looked down to see her hands tightly fisted. "How do you do that?" she asked.

"What?"

"Pick up on when I'm feeling anxious."

Edward rose, stretching softly before he shrugged. "I'm a doctor. Watching for signs of how someone responds to stimuli is part of what I do. Stress, for instance, manifests differently in every person, but when you start to feel uncomfortable, the vein in your neck starts throbbing, and a light blush covers your chest, neck, and face. You also use the relaxation techniques you've been taught, which causes your breath to deepen. And when you're really feeling threatened, like when you're remembering some of the things that happened, your pupils dilate to where all I can see is black."

Bella didn't know how to respond. That he watched her so closely made her heartbeat race. What would it be like to have him focus on her like that during sex, to asses every little reaction, to categorize them and use the knowledge to please her? Shivering at the thought, Bella watched Edward's eyes darken.

"And when you're turned on, you get a little hitch in your breath, among other things." He gave her a heated look before leaving for the bathroom.

Bella savored the view of his ass before looking down to see her nipples shamelessly poking through her shirt. Edward definitely did it for her.

~Honor~

Edward attempted to keep from smiling when he approached Bella, but lost the fight. She was nervous, but he could tell from the determined set of her shoulders she was going through with her plans. His dick twitched at the chained cuffs hanging from her hands. Damn, she was going to kill him, but what a sweet way to go. He would wait forever if that was what it took to win her trust. Because once he loved her, one taste was never going to be enough. _The Kiss_ , because that was how he was thinking about it, not _a_ kiss, but _The Kiss,_ had been hotter than anything he'd ever experienced. He was but a man, and he'd had to take matters into his own hands, twice. By far no virgin, he'd always had a good time in bed and made sure his partners had a good time as well, but Bella's kiss rivaled most of the orgasms he'd had. Fuck, his cock twitched thinking about her hands on him, much less being able to sink into her tight body.

He had to get his body and thoughts under control, because while he was a man, he was also a gentleman. And right now, that's what Bella needed . . . the best of him, not the man lusting after every inch of her delectable body. Taking a deep breath, he came to stand beside her.

Dark chocolate eyes looked up at him, and he saw the fear and concern.

"I'm okay with this, Bella. Don't worry about me."

Bella released a soft sigh. "I'm afraid I'm asking too much."

Moving faster than he really meant to, Edward put his finger over her lips, stopping her words. "If I haven't been clear, please let me be. Bella, I want to be in your bed, badly. It's killing me to keep from grabbing you up, taking you to your bedroom, and using my lips to make you come until you scream my name. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone, and I want to wipe every memory of other men, both good and bad, from your mind, so all you'll ever think about is me. But I'm not in this for just that. I want to go to bed with you and wake up next to you, rub your back when your period makes you grumpy, and when you no longer have to worry about it. You're not a fuck to me, just so you know. So, do your best or worst to me. I'm ready." He glanced down at his pajamas, bringing her attention to his hard cock. "Literally."

Bella gasped several deep breaths, enjoying the heat of his words and how they made lust thicken her blood. She wanted to touch him. The men who'd raped her had always kept their clothes on, pulling their pants down just enough to take her. She didn't know if it had been part of their plan . . . their misguided belief their uniforms held some sort of psychological power over her, or if it had been a religious thing, or a homophobic thing as they watched each other. But unknowingly, they'd left something for her. She'd always enjoyed touching and tasting her partners, running her fingers over them.

"Will you take your shirt off?" she asked shyly. She didn't even recognize the squeaky sound that came out of her mouth.

Reaching, he grabbed his shirt behind his neck, pulling it off and exposing his chest and abdomen.

Bella dropped the cuffs she was holding, her eyes glued to his stomach.

Edward groaned when she nibbled at her lower lip. Moving quickly, he sat in the La-Z-Boy, pushing back at it as he pulled the lever. "Bella, cuff me." His voice was hoarse, demanding as he settled into the chair.

She hadn't moved, but the bite of his voice temporarily broke through her fascination with the V leading down his belly. She'd seen lots of men without their shirts - men who had bigger muscles, spent more time on their body, took pride in manscaping—but she'd never seen anyone who held her attention more.

"Bella." His voice startled her, waking her from the fantasies racing through her mind.

"Sorry . . ." she grinned " . . . I was a little distracted." Using the wheelchair for support, she bent, picking up the cuffs she'd dropped and walking slowly over to stand by him.

Edward's smirk told her he knew exactly what had been the distraction. Holding up his left wrist, he let her tighten the cuff.

"Damn," he said as he felt the leather caress his skin.

"You okay?" Bella was uncertain whether to continue.

He watched her through narrowed eyes. "Just wondering what it says about me that I am so fucking turned on right now that I need you to hurry." His chuckle was husky as she reached to attach the other cuff.

"Okay, go behind and attached the leg chain to each end."

He groaned when she tugged at the bindings.

"Bella, this isn't going to work," he said, holding his hands out to show he could stretch his arms almost fully. "I promise to leave them by my side, but I'm not sure this is what you were hoping for."

Eyeing him, she said, "Push the chair back into the reclining position."

When he did what she requested, she noticed his erection and that the chain was even looser. Panic set in and she sat quickly back into the wheelchair, running the wheel back and forward as she worked off the agitation.

"I have another idea. Shorten it by looping the chain, instead of cuffing each end together," Edward spoke softly.

She wheeled to the back of the chair as he straightened it again. His suggestion made the situation much more to her liking. When he lowered it back, he could still move his arms to sleep comfortably enough, but there was much less slack.

She gasped at the picture he presented. The black leather cuffs were highlighted against the pale skin of his wrists. The short chains trailed from there down between the arm rest and the body of the chair, where below, the leg chain looped attaching them. He could probably move his hands several feet to each side, but he wouldn't have full range. His breath came in pants and his green eyes blazed. His hair stood out in a wreck around his face. Desire raced through her as she let her gaze follow the firm muscles of his chest, noticing his tightly pebbled nipples. Skimming her eyes down across his groin and legs, her mouth watered.

In essence, he looked like a present ready for unwrapping. She'd never wanted to taste someone more in her life.

"Now all we need is pillows, blankets, and you," he teased, bringing the chair back to its upright position.

"On it," she giggled, wheeling toward her room.

Edward took deep breaths while she was gone to cool his ardor. In effect, he was bound, but it wouldn't take much to scoot backwards off the chair to release the counterpoint of the chains being draped behind it. He didn't consider himself a wimp, but it made him feel better to know that in the event of an emergency, he could get free and make sure he and Bella got to safety. He didn't relish the idea of his brother coming to the house with the fire unit and seeing him in chains, but knowing Emmett, he'd think it was hilarious. Edward didn't know if Bella had really considered the limitations to his suggestion. He took another deep breath as he heard her wheelchair enter the room, swearing he wouldn't move his arms unless she asked. She trusted him, and he wasn't going to do anything to violate that gift.

Handing him a pillow, she moved to join him in the oversized chair, sitting to his side. She refused to cave to the panic as they were mashed together, allowing his warmth to burn it away. Side by side, she felt the chain at her back, and it was reassuring.

"Bella, when we lean back, I'm going to turn on my side, so I can bring my arm up under my pillow. I may need you to help scoot the chain up, but if we do that, you won't have to sleep on the links."

"Okay."

"Hold on," he warned, leaning over so he could use the slack to pull on the lever.

Bella squeaked slightly when they rocked to the horizontal position, wondering if the chair was really going to support the two of them, but her purchase was vindicated when it remained steady.

"I'm going to turn now," he warned her before shifting and bringing his arm up and dragging the chain with it.

Being brave, Bella dropped her pillow off the side of the chair, settling her head on his so she could feel Edward's breath stirring the hair on the top of her head. It should've sent her into a panic, but the minty smell was far from the stench of the men who'd hated her. She pulled the blankets she'd brought over them, wrapping them in a warm cocoon. Savoring the solid feel of him at her side, she attempted not to cry at the rightness of it.

Moments passed as she allowed his smell and the sound of his breathing soothe her.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I touch you?"

"Yes." His answer was gruff.

Before she could chicken out, Bella turned on her side so they were facing each other. Slowly, she moved her hand toward him under the covers, stopping when her fingertips touched his chest. She would've liked to explore him better, but just touching him overwhelmed her. He was warm, his skin soft, and the hair tickling her fingertips even softer. But it was the hard thudding of his heart beneath where she'd placed her fingers that thrilled her. Placing her hand against his chest, Bella felt the rapid beats spelling out a rhythm against her palm. He slid his hand over hers.

"Bella. You know I asked for a kiss?"

"Uh huh." She was still distracted by the feel of his skin and heart.

"I'm really liking this." He shifted, and she marveled the movement didn't make her panic. "Could we just stay this way?"

She smiled in the darkness, realizing he didn't want to disturb the relaxed moment with the electrifying lust they'd experienced the first time. Moving quickly, she turned her head, placing a quick kiss to the bottom of his chin, before tucking her head back under it.

His quick inhale told her he was as affected by the simple caress as she was.

"Or maybe not. Because that was kinda special too." He scooted a few millimeters closer, bringing her palm fully against his heart. "Good night, baby."

Bella could swear she heard a smirk in his voice. Fingers scraping against his skin gently, she marveled at the sign of his fragile humanness beneath her fingertips.

"Good night, Edward."

~Honor~

AN: Baby steps


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

I tweaked this a little after the betas had their hands on it, so any grammatical errors are all mine!

~Honor~

" _What did you get?" Bella asked Jamie as soon as the men slammed the cover shut over them._

" _A knife."_

 _A knife. Bella's hope rose, but reality came quickly crashing down. Even if they were able to overpower the men who came into the hole, they didn't know how many more were outside. And she and Jamie were so weak. Their captors had reduced their food, and no matter how much she and Jamie tried to ration it, they still didn't eat for days at a time. And what they were getting was little better than rancid._

 _But it was a knife._

 _Fear filled her. "James, you can't do anything. We have to wait it out. The gunfire. We've both heard it. It's getting closer."_

" _Major. They aren't going to let us live long enough for any rescuers. Particularly you. He's becoming more vicious, the beatings you're enduring harsher. They've violated every code of conduct for prisoners, and while that might not really mean much, they'll be vilified. We'll be dead before the troops get here, our bodies dumped somewhere they'll never be found. Personally, I'd rather my family have the peace of knowing rather than the torture of wondering."_

 _She pulled his shirt around her._

" _Bella, if I don't make it out of here, I want you to take my hat home to my mother. She always made such a big deal about how handsome I was in it." He shrugged. "Why she needs the hat to recognize my awesomeness, I don't know, but hey, whatever it takes. I want you to take it to her personally. It will mean more to her if you do it."_

 _He was trying to be funny, but she started crying instead. "Stop. We're both getting out of here. I don't want to talk about it."_

" _Just promise me." He glared at her, demanding her assurance she would comply with his request._

 _Dashing the tears away from her eyes, she took a deep breath. "Fine! I promise."_

" _Any message you want me to get to your dad?"_

 _They'd stripped her of everything. All she had was the hope of a message getting back to him. Bella froze as Charlie's warm face raced through her mind. Oh God, this would kill him. Bella rubbed her chest; her heart feeling like it was going to break._

" _Tell him I love him." Her voice broke. "That I wanted him to know no one could've had a better father than me."_

 _Jamie moved, scooting closer to her side, but maintaining some distance now. She couldn't handle touch any longer. "I swear I'll personally deliver the message."_

 _She glanced up to his battered face. "Thank you. Would you . . ." She stopped speaking unable to make her voice work._

" _What?" he whispered._

 _Swallowing, she said, "Could you . . .um . . . check on him once and awhile? He'll be so alone except for Jake and Leah."_

" _Of course. I'll make him come do game days with us." He paused. "But all of this isn't going to matter, because we're getting out of here, right?"_

 _She sniffed, hearing the tears in his voice, as well. "Right."_

~Honor~

Bella startled awake. She was toasty warm, which should have calmed her. The source of the heat was easy to identify; she'd turned during the night, burrowing her back against Edward's broad chest. She could feel his arm crooked under the pillow she was sharing with him. But it was his other hand, lightly placed on her hip with his fingertips brushing her belly button that became the focus of her every breath she pulled into her lungs and eased back out through her lips. It almost became too much, until she felt the links of chain dangling across her leg.

She'd chained him to the chair, and then made him sleep with her.

A giggle started deep within her belly, and as much as she tried to keep it from getting out of control, it was hopeless. She snorted, attempting to do so. Slapping her hands across her mouth, she tried. She really did, but before she could stop, her whole body shook with the force of her mirth.

"I have to admit, this is the first time a woman woke up in my bed laughing. Should I be insulted?" Edward eased his hand away from Bella's hip.

"You know, I was actually okay with that. I just had to get through the initial shock," she said softly.

"Yeah, but I made a promise. However, you can't hold me accountable for what I do when I'm asleep. Awake or not, it seems I want you."

She snickered feeling the evidence of said want against her back. Before her nerves failed her, Bella rolled over to face him.

It was so unfair. Sleep had only made his hair more chaotic and him more beautiful. She was sure she, on the other hand, looked like death warmed over. "Why is it men wake up looking basically fine, but we look like something the cat dragged in after a long night?"

He chuckled and pulled his hand out from under the pillow. When he rubbed his eyes, the sound of the links banging against each other as he did sounding absolutely awful. "You're beautiful," he murmured, covering up the jingle of the metal.

His declaration warmed her, even though she wanted to call him out for being too nice. He was too fucking perfect for her, and she wanted to know his secrets. She needed something to take away the image that he was a god visiting among mere mortals.

"Tell me something wrong with you," she begged.

"Wrong?"

"You're too perfect. I need to have something on you."

He grinned. "I'm going to scoot a little closer so I can move to my back. Is that okay?"

She nodded, but didn't move while he turned, placing his arms across his stomach and linking his hands.

"I'm not sure I want to divulge my secrets just yet, because I'm still trying to woo you."

Bella leaned up on her elbow, so she could look at him better.

"Hmm . . . I think we both know I've been effectively wooed. So spill."

He smirked at her insistence. "I'm stubborn, for sure, which can be both a positive and a negative. It helped me get through medical school, but you may have to jerk my chain . . ." he arched an eyebrow and held his hands up for a second " . . .at times." She poked his ribs with her finger at his joking. "When I get angry, I need time to process, so I might walk away from a fight with you. I don't mean it to be disrespectful, but some of my previous girlfriends thought it was. I've learned to cool off before saying something in the moment that might be detrimental to the conversation or relationship. It'll probably aggravate you."

Bella nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"I like to go out and have a good time, but I'm probably more of a homebody than anything. With all the stress of medical school, I really had to make an effort to think about dates in the past. Even though the women I dated knew the score before we began our relationships, the novelty of a boyfriend who had to study, or work, or was too tired to party wore off. I'm sure it will be better now that I'm settled into a position, but I might fall into a rut, so you'll need to call me on it."

Bella drooled when he stretched. Chained hands above his head, he pushed his toes long, making his already tall body longer. Eyeing his abs, she had the immediate craving to lick them. She tugged on the chain running down between them.

"I'm fairly OCD about keeping my place clean, but I have my places of absolute chaos - a drawer in the kitchen, one in my bedroom, and several boxes in my closet. I have to have some space where I can throw the things I don't know what else to do with. It drives my mother crazy, even though I go through them every so often and clean them out."

Slanting a look over at her, he admitted, "I don't snore, unless I'm sick with a cold, then my brothers tell me I'm insufferable."

Bella laughed at the shy boy look on his face at the admission.

"I think one of my biggest flaws, at least in some opinions, is that I'm a mama's boy, as your dad already figured out. It drove a couple of my girlfriends crazy, because my mom, really my mom and dad . . . and all my family members . . . are important." He shrugged. "It's a litmus test for me, actually. That a woman can get along with my family. If they were jerks or clingy or chaotic, I wouldn't feel that way, but we're tight and always have been. I just see the woman I want to spend my life with fitting in. I'm sure there will have to be boundaries established, because that would be normal, but I don't think I could be with someone who cut me off from the individuals who have shaped me. Do you know what I mean?"

Bella nodded. "Yeah. I brought a guy home from college and knew immediately when he and Charlie didn't hit it off."

"I've never asked about your career. So you went to college first before joining the Air Force?"

Bella smiled. "Yeah. I went through four years at U-Dub and got my degree in civil engineering, but I was in ROTC there, so I entered as a second lieutenant. Hearing Jamie's stories about the Air Force Academy made me wish I'd gone there."

"Civil engineering. Hmm . . . math geek?" he asked.

"I did okay in math, but it was really the idea of building things I liked. I was one of those girls who played with Legos instead of Barbies." She laughed softly. "Not that there is anything wrong with Barbies, Jake and I just built Leah's Barbie houses instead."

"So you've known the two of them since you were kids?"

"Yup," she said, popping the "p." "But back to you and your process of self-examination."

Edward smirked at her humor and redirection. "I'm a man, Bella. I'm going to mess up and make you mad. I'll have to grovel, and beg, and plead. Speaking of which, I need to know your weaknesses soon, so I can have go-to ideas for when I need to apologize. Flowers, candy, books, music, whatever will win me favor when I'm a jerk."

She shook her head at him. Before her experience, she would've said back rubs and foot rubs, but she wasn't sure how far that could go . . . well except the foot rubs. But for now, she wanted to make progress on touching him.

"Let me go brush my teeth, and I'll fix some breakfast," she offered even though the idea of getting out from under the warm blankets didn't intrigue her.

"I have a better idea. I want to take you out to eat, and then to the Pacific Science Center. I thought we could stroll through the exhibits and the butterfly house and see what is playing at IMAX." He grinned, holding up his hands. "But first."

She eyed his hands, but didn't immediately move to release him. "I thought you said you weren't good at the date stuff." Putting her hands on the cuffs, she held his wrists, running her fingertips across the leather. "I want to kiss you," she admitted, marveling at how quickly his pupils dilated and a flush spread across his sharp cheekbones.

"Um, I don't mean to be a downer or anything, but it is morning," he said softly.

 _Morning?_ Bella wondered about what he meant until her attention wandered down the long length of him. _Oh yeah, morning._

Desire surged through her, making her skin tingle. It was a heady thing, the mixture of warmth across her skin, the feeling of breathlessness, the rush of blood, and the moisture between her legs. She savored the feeling as she slowly returned her eyes to his. She wondered if he could hear how her heart pounded. "You make me feel again."

He swallowed hard at her words, reaching up with his hands slowly to run one of his fingertips down her jaw. "You make me feel things I've never felt before."

She wished she could close her eyes and enjoy the feel of his fingers against her skin, but it took all she had to remain still while he caressed her. Her grip on his wrists didn't give her much peace, because it was too apparent how much stronger he was than her. "Can we try one kiss before we get dressed for this outing you propose?"

He looked away for a moment. "Bella, I'm not sure I trust myself. You drive me insane. That kiss about broke me, and having you beside me with very little clothing between us . . . let's just say I don't want to screw up my promise."

"Then how about a compromise? I get dressed while you fix us the bagels and fruit I have in the refrigerator. We can do a late lunch instead at the exhibit."

Smiling, he nodded in agreement.

~Honor~

When Bella returned to the kitchen, fresh from her shower and dressed for the day, Edward had breakfast on the table. He hadn't stopped at bagels and fruit though, having scrambled eggs to go with their light meal. They shared stories from their childhoods as they ate. Edward laughed at Bella's account of how she and Jacob had made mud pies, earth worms included, for Leah. He was getting the clear picture that Leah was the princess of the group, whereas, Bella, it would seem, had always been a tom-boy. Not to be discredited, Edward shared the story of when he'd turned Emmett's hair green with a concoction he'd created with a Mad Scientist kit he'd gotten for Christmas.

Clean up was quick and easy, but the moment Edward turned to Bella, the atmosphere in the room went from light-hearted teasing to lust within a second.

"Now, about that kiss," he said softly.

Bella pointed to the chair he'd occupied during breakfast, and without delay he complied. She quickly secured his hands behind the chair, like she'd done before. But she hesitated afterwards.

"Now, my legs," he encouraged, nodding to the longer bindings she held.

"This seems silly," she said softly.

"Please," he pled. His eyes turned darker, the skin pulling taut across his cheekbones. He was aroused, painfully so. "Bella, I need your hands on me." His chest heaved with emotion.

She fidgeted as she contemplated what he'd said and the chains jingled in the silence.

"Fuck," Edward muttered, shifting in the seat. He closed his eyes and tried to control the lust racing along his nerves, threatening to make him act a fool. "Bella, I need you to wrap my legs and shackle my ankles to this chair. It'll help me, because I won't have to focus on not touching you." His voice was hoarse, and it made goosebumps prickle across her skin.

"You really need this, too?"

The stark answer on his face fueled her actions.

Kneeling was hard, but to bind him required it. She placed the chain across his legs and allowed the ends to drop down before connecting the cuffs to one another under the chair. She sensed his shiver as the links pressed against him. For his ankles, she wove the long binding between the cuffs around the chair legs before securing the leather around him.

Edward exhaled loudly, gaining her attention. She'd thought him a pretty package before, but she shuddered seeing him strapped down. His eyes were dark with desire, and his muscles strained against the bonds. For a moment, she watched as he twisted against them, then as his eyes closed. His nipples had tightened to hard nubs, and she saw a telltale dark spot on the front of his sleep pants. His chest rose and fell in short gasps as his tongue came out to moisten his lips.

"Thank you," he said softly. His voice was thick and rich, flavored with hunger and swirling with dark promise.

Her fingers itched to touch him and she did so, placing her hands against his muscular calves. Heat blazed from his skin through the material of his pjs, and she watched his stomach clench at the contact.

Unwilling to break the intense gaze between them, Bella rubbed her thumbs along the fabric, slowly following the curve of his muscles. A strange mix of fear and desire fueled her. He was so much bigger than her, his large muscles jumping and tightening under her exploration, and the knowledge she was in control, that he was bound and unable to do anything but submit, was intoxicating. She felt as if she had drunk a tumbler of the finest brandy as warmth settled in her stomach, burning fiery trails north to her nipples and south to her . . . what? Privates? Definitely not vagina. Several other names tried to crowd in and remove her lust and joy, but she ruthlessly pushed the taunting voices away. Her control over and the speed at which she'd banished them made her sex pulse.

More importantly, she had Edward literally under her fingertips, while inches away, his erection tented his pajamas . . .and she wasn't scared. In fact, she wanted to touch him. Bella wanted to kneel between his legs and run her hands up and down his inner thighs, but she knew she wasn't strong enough yet for that position. Soon she'd be able to and the idea of giving Edward a blowjob excited her.

Using his knees for support, she stood slowly giving her legs time to find balance.

"You know I want more than a kiss now, right?"

Nodding, Edward remained silent. He felt as if the power of speech had been stolen from him. Freed from the worry of what would or would not scare her, he only had to enjoy wherever Bella took them, to abide by her wishes.

Stepping between his legs, Bella threaded her fingers through Edward's hair. It was silky and cool to the touch, but the nerves in her sensitive fingertips felt like they were on fire as she pulled softly at it over and over. Flush with desire, Bella swiftly tugged at a handful of the strands, and Edward gasped as he leaned his head back, following her direction. Bella took advantage of his position, lowering her mouth to his and sealing their lips, swallowing his moan and savoring the taste of his submission.

She nibbled at his bottom lip, sucking on it before she traced the seam of his mouth, encouraging him to open. His flavor burst in her mouth - cream cheese, coffee, strawberries, and decadent sin. Unhurried, she swirled her tongue around his, shivering at the feel. Pushing the fingers of her other hand through his hair on the other side she held him captive, tasting before pulling back to nibble again at his lips. The second time she joined their tongues, lust exploded, and they were both panting when she drew back.

Driven by some unseen demon, she turned her head, pulling him forward and connecting his lips to her skin, just below where her jaw connected to her ear. She moaned when he kissed her there, brushing his lips softly across her flesh. Unguided, he teased halfway down her jaw before returning to suck gently below her ear. She froze when he nibbled the lobe of her ear, tightening her hands in his hair harshly. In response, Edward released the flesh he'd bitten slightly, his breath blowing across her sensitized skin as he waited for her. The stir of air made Bella groan and her nipples tighten even harder. She turned, placing her cheek against his. Faint traces of the cologne he'd used the night before teased her, as did his warmth.

"I'm very sensitive behind my ears," she panted, her breaths rushing over him.

She felt him nudge softly against her. "Good to know," he said. "Because I want to bite you there and then soothe you with my tongue."

Closing her eyes, she focused on her body, feeling the mix of desire and need. It bubbled in her stomach, urging her on, even as the ghosts tried to tell her she was incapable. Sucking a harsh breath in through her lips, Bella pulled back, gazing down into Edward's face. While it was clear he was overwhelmed with the need to fuck, she saw patience in the green glow of his eyes. Soothing her thumb over his cheekbone, she shivered at the heat that flared between them. It raced from her fingers up her arm and exploded in her chest, banishing the ghosts.

Bella savored the way the power rushed into the darkest recesses, filling her. There would be no more fear between her and Edward; she refused to allow it.

The chair was awkward, but she straddled him like before. "Am I too heavy?"

"No." He chuckled, but it wasn't with humor. She felt the vibration of it deep in her core and the throbbing in her sex was almost painful. She wanted him to be inside her.

Placing her hands around his neck, she felt the wild beat of his pulse against the palm of her hand and felt his muscles move as he swallowed. She could feel the heat of his gaze as she slid her hand down his neck and across his shoulders, only to use her fingertips to trace back along his collar bones.

"I am going to touch you," she warned. "Close your eyes."

She wanted to feel that nothing, including his regard, could or would stop her.

The rise of his chest was labored, "Bella, you don't . . ."

"Hush!" she demanded. "Don't argue unless you feel uncomfortable. I'll stop before it's too much for me. I promise."

The tenseness of his muscles slowly released, and she snuck a quick glance to see he'd obeyed her. Having closed his eyes, Edward laid his head back against the chair, creating a strong line in the muscles of his throat.

Goosebumps broke out across her skin, as trailing her fingertips down across his pecs, she felt the play of skin, muscle, and hair. He hissed when she brushed over his nipples, teasing the hard nubs, but he didn't move or open his eyes. She turned her hands sideways to run along the strong line of his stomach, her fingertips trailing along his ribs. She stopped their torture when she reached his hipbones. He was breathing as hard as she was.

Bella flushed at his moan when she began to slowly edge downward. But the moment was ruined, when, from the table, a series of notes called sharply. She felt Edward tense below her.

"Damn. My phone," he muttered. "It's the hospital."

He was on call, and it seemed fate was intervening on her moment. She didn't know if the feeling coursing through her was relief or anger at the interruption. Grabbing it, she punched the answer button, holding it to his ear.

"Cullen," he answered.

Bella could hear bits and pieces. "School bus." "Multiple injured." "Calling in all surgeons."

Edward's apologetic eyes met hers as he asked several questions. "I'll be there as soon as I can," he replied.

She'd known he could get called in at any point, so there was little else to say when she returned the phone to the table and rose as quickly as she could. She released his hands first, then made quick work on his legs and ankles.

"Hands behind back," she barked when he stood, and he complied without hesitation. "Now, give me a kiss."

"But . . ."

"Now." She pursed her lips, which caused him to chuckle.

Edward didn't hesitate again, leaning over to quickly touch their lips together.

It wasn't a passionate kiss, but to Bella, it was almost more magical than their first, because she didn't at any point feel panic at his unbound hands.

"Now go. We'll do our date another day," she said, shooing him away with her hands.

She could no more control the broad smile that broke across her face than stop breathing as he winked at her and ran for the door.

~Honor~

AN: Yes, I know. Intentional cock-block. There is a purpose, as I am sure you know.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

Honor seems to be a story that engenders a lot of emotions in the readers, and I am so grateful for all the private messages about stories of your veterans or individuals/love ones currently serving in the military. Please know, even though I am from a family who has and has had many members in the service, I'm not claiming to be an expert in it – and I certainly don't live with a husband who experiences these travesties. However, I am trying to make this story as real as possible (with an admitted exaggerated recovery time), so, please accept my poetic license when I use it.

I saw two things that really affected me this week in regards to veterans.

First - If you haven't seen the Facebook post about the formerly homeless vet called "Boone" (real name Donald Gould) – look it up on YouTube. If you don't know the story, Donald was a musical prodigy in college after serving as a U.S Marine. He fell into substance abuse after losing his wife (and I believe being later diagnosed with PTSD). He was discovered when a public piano was installed in a part in Sarasota, Florida. His rendition of Come Sail Away by Styx will blow you away. There is also another one of him playing Jesus Joy to Man's Desire after his recovery – sniff. Now – someone go write me an Edward story about this!

Secondly, the commercial for KNFG Guide Dogs – tearing my heart out! Look it up at YouTube (under Royal Dutch Guide Dog Foundation (KNGF) commercial for veteran dogs). I imagined my Bella character laying in that filth. It also made me think about my friend SherriOla and her faithful companions. Gah! When I went to YouTube to watch it, there is another video just below it of an American Veteran and his guide dog (Watch Service Dog calm war vet's PTSD Reaction). Crying big, big tears. Yes, this may be a storyline hint.

Anyhow, you meet one of my favorite vets (a little) in this chapter – my dad. Hope you enjoy, and yes, I'm trying to make this a weekly posting schedule now. Go thank my betas for their hard work!

~Honor~

"Li'l Bit, when are you coming home for a visit?" Charlie asked Bella as their telephone call was winding down.

She'd already talked to Jacob and Leah before calling him.

"I need to consult with Jane, to see when she'll let me out of therapy for a week; but soon. When are your next days off? Maybe you could come and stay with me and bring Grandmother Swan's bed."

He chuckled. "I'm off at the end of the week. If you're inviting, I'll get Jake to help me load the bed up on the truck Friday night and head out Saturday morning. Will your man be around to help unload?"

Bella snickered at his teasing tone. "Unfortunately, he's working. Today and tomorrow are his days off, but he got called in for an emergency. I'll see if one of his brothers or his dad can help. They've assured me time and time again to call on them for anything."

"Sounds good, kid. It's a plan. Now as to my payment . . ."

"I know, Grandmother Swan's lasagna."

"You got it. I'll be there by lunch."

"Love ya."

"Love you too, Bella."

Hanging up, she looked around to see if there was anything that needed to be done around the apartment, but found nothing. It was rare she'd had free time growing up, and definitely not since going into the Air Force. She was going to have to make some decisions soon about her career post-Air Force. Flying had been her life, but until she was cleared medically, no one was going to allow her near a plane of any kind. Getting healthy physically and spiritually were the keys.

"Hmm . . . speaking of," she muttered out loud, wheeling over to where she kept her phone book.

Inside the front page was the card Peter had given her. On the back was the veterans' group leader's name and telephone number.

Flipping it through her fingers, she jumped when her phone buzzed with a text. It was from Edward.

 _Baby, I'm so sorry. It looks like I'm going to be here all day. I'll call you when I start home._

Baby . . .

Any other man who had used that endearment would've been met with sharp rebuke in the past. But Bella had to admit the way Edward said it made her heart melt.

 _Take care of yourself. If you need me to bring lunch or dinner, let me know._

 _Dad's here, so mom will be bringing something, I'm sure. Miss you. Gotta go, its chaos here._

Unwilling to risk the possibility of bothering him, she didn't respond. Instead, she called the number on the back of the card.

"Hello?" A female voice answered.

"Umm . . . hi, my name is Bella."

~Honor~

Wrapped in her thickest coat, Bella rolled through the door of the local Presbyterian Church. Irina had invited her, and with nothing else to do, she'd had no reason to put it off. Being a mid-week meeting, Irina had warned Bella the attendance would be light, but that had sounded absolutely perfect to her. As she'd told Edward, she wasn't fond of crowds.

She met the first person just inside the door of the dining hall, where a table had been set up with coffee.

"Hi." An ancient man greeted her. He wore a Pearl Harbor hat. "The name's Cal."

"Bella."

He moved slowly as he mixed sugar in his coffee, and he noticed her watching him. "My arthritis acts up when it turns this cold. But at ninety, what can I expect, right?"

"Wow. Did you enlist as a baby?" Bella asked, nodding to his hat.

He cackled, revealing a row of uneven, yellowed teeth. "I was sixteen when I lied to enroll in the Navy. Seventeen when I reported for duty on the Arizona. I'd been on her six months when we were hit."

Bella's hand shook as she reached for a cup.

"May I?" he asked. "My wife trained me to always wait on a pretty lady."

Grinning, she retreated. "Just black, thanks."

His eyes narrowed in on her hands, which she was wringing. "In which branch did you serve?"

"Air Force."

"Well, I'll be. Welcome, Airman."

Ahead, another man was already sitting in one of the chairs loosely arranged in a circle. He wore a jacket with a Marine _Operation Enduring Freedom_ patch. He nodded at Bella in greeting. She pegged him to be in his early thirties. When he shifted, she caught a glimpse of metal below the left leg of his pants.

A dark-haired man entered from behind them as Cal placed her coffee at the edge of the table.

"You must be Bella." When she nodded, he smiled. "I'm Garrett. Irina told me to look out for you, particularly around this guy." He shook Cal's hand. "He's dangerous with pretty, young women."

Cackling, Cal walked slowly over to sit down.

Nervous, Bella watched as a few others arrived, including several women, but it was Cal she chose to sit next to when the meeting began.

The introductions went quickly, but Bella was surprised by how open the members were in front of her, a virtual stranger. Doug, the man she'd first seen sitting down, spoke about his difficulties with attending his son's football games last fall because of the fireworks used each time their team scored.

"I missed his game-winning catch because I left to go to my truck. I couldn't fucking breathe." He knocked his metal leg into the chair in an agitated manner. "My wife tried to get me to not tell him, but I finally had to. It was eating at me."

"And what did he say?" Garrett asked.

Tears filled the man's eyes. "That he was fucking proud I'd come. That we'd watch it together on the videos they shoot." Doug glared down at the floor. "He thought it was _'just the best'_ we were able to watch the video for the first time together."

"Try taking some noise-cancelling headphones next season," Cal spoke out. "Keep them around your neck and when you see the players getting close to the goal line, slip them on.

Doug's jaw dropped at the older man's suggestion. "Crap, why didn't I think of that?"

"Hang around here long enough and you'll hear lots of suggestions. It's a matter of remembering them when the time comes." Taking a deep swig of coffee, Cal winked at Bella.

"It's actually a very good suggestion," Garrett picked up. "You can then use less effective ones in a progressive manner to expose yourself to the noise. In therapeutic terms, it's called desensitization."

Irina had informed Bella that Garrett had gone back to graduate school after being injured in Afghanistan. He'd completed his Master's of Social Work and was obtaining clinical supervision hours toward his licensure. And while her observation about Garrett was interesting, Bella was more intrigued with the realization that desensitization was exactly what she and Edward had been doing in regards to her fear of being touched.

Chuckling at the thought of telling Carol she'd turned to bondage as a bonafide therapeutic method, Bella caught Cal smirking at her.

"You remind me of my daughter. She was always getting into trouble . . . the best kind. Whenever she had that smile on her face, I generally expected to get a call from some authority."

Bella giggled at his expression and leaned over in conspiracy. "My father also got a few of those phone calls."

For the rest of the meeting, the group discussed several outings, and Bella was excited to find the group planned activities weekly. While she wouldn't be able to join the basketball game planned for the weekend, she wondered if Charlie might like to join her in watching it.

"You got someone to help you?" Cal asked as the group started to disperse.

"My father comes when I need him."

He grinned. "No, I meant to deal with the nightmares." He took a deep drink of coffee. "My Maggie, she put up with a lot over the years, but those nights when I would wake howling from the dreams of the water closing over me were the worst. I miss her every day."

Flashes of Edward ran through her mind. "Yes, I have someone special."

"Good. Good."

A young girl, perhaps no more than sixteen, came through the door interrupting them. "Pops, you ready to go home?"

"That's my great-granddaughter. She takes good care of me," he snickered. "Which means, she keeps me in line as much as possible."

"I'm betting she finds it a difficult task." Bella smiled at the man.

"Nah, he's pretty cool," the girl responded. "I'll keep him."

Cal slowly came to his feet and wrapped his arm through his great-granddaughter's. "I hope to see you again, Bella. Don't be a stranger."

"I won't," she called out as he shuffled from the room.

"Do you need a ride?" Garrett asked her.

He'd given her space during the meeting, which had been exactly what she'd needed. She was certain it was another therapeutic technique, but for now, she didn't care. She would be coming back.

Looking to her watch, Bella responded. "Actually, my cab should be here."

"Let me walk you out then," he said as she slipped her coat back on.

"I hope you'll come back. What you saw today is typical. We're just a bunch of survivors helping each other survive. Somedays it's worse, somedays it's better."

He held the door and the cold air rushing over her kept their goodbye from being too extensive. Her taxi awaited in the parking lot promising heat.

"My father's coming into town this weekend. I think he'd enjoy a good game of basketball."

"Then, until this weekend."

He remained in the doorway until she was in the taxi, seeing her off with a wave.

"Where to, Miss?" the cabbie asked.

"Home." Smiling at how good it felt to say that, Bella settled back to enjoy the ride.

~Honor~

" _Jamie, eat this." Bella pushed a chunk of meat into his hands. She suspected it was dog, but tried not to think on it too much._

" _You need it." He held his hand up in an effort to push it away._

" _I'm full."_

" _No, you're not. You're trying to take care of me."_

" _That too, but I'm really full. I think my stomach has shrunken or something, or I could be starting my period again."_

 _He remained quiet. They'd had to deal with this before . . .the indignity of her female problems. He'd dug a hole in the dirt wall for her to bury the bloody cloths they'd made from her torn clothing. It was humiliating, that he'd had to help her, but no more than having to take care of all their body fluids. But as to her period, it was true, unlike her best friends she lost her appetite when she cramped._

 _He gently took the food out of her hand. "Thank you."_

 _He didn't refuse when she handed him the rest._

" _I guess there's more than one benefit of it. They'll leave you alone."_

 _The last time they'd discovered her bleeding, she and Jamie had been left in silence for days._

" _You know something?" he asked. It was one of his favorite questions. It usually led to a round of teasing._

" _What?" she answered with the required response._

" _I want you to meet my brother."_

" _What?"_

" _When we get back home, I want you to come to Seattle with me and meet my brother, Edward."_

 _Bella choked, bringing her legs in closer._

" _I've been thinking about this a lot, and I think he needs you."_

A pounding noise woke Bella. She'd fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie the night before. Stretching to work out the kinks in her legs, she paused when the pounding noise came again. It sounded as if someone was beating on Edward's door. She grabbed the walker from beside the sofa and moved to the door, easing it open.

Carlisle stood outside. "Bella," he acknowledged her.

"Is everything okay?"

He glanced back to the door. "Did Edward contact you last night?"

"I don't think so. Let me look." Pulling her phone from the bag on the walker, she flipped it over. "Yeah, I've got a text about five this morning. He said he was coming home and would be going to bed."

Carlisle tugged at his hair. He looked exhausted. "He's not answering his phone."

Bella wanted to point out the obvious . . . that Edward was most likely asleep, but Carlisle seemed agitated far beyond what a missed call should cause. "Carlisle, what's wrong?"

"I got a call from the hospital that I needed to check on him. When I left, he was still in surgery."

Bella had the sense Carlisle might be hiding something, but she wasn't exactly sure. The door slid open a few feet, stopping their conversation. Edward leaned heavily against the doorframe.

"Son?"

"Dad." It was barely a croak.

"Brenner called and said I needed to check on you."

Edward seemed asleep.

"Son, can we come in?"

"We?" Edward appeared confused until he looked up and met Bella's eyes.

Stumbling back, he left the door open. Still in his scrubs, he made it to the couch before collapsing.

"Dad, I'm just exhausted." Struggling, he lifted his eyes to his dad's. "I'll call you when I wake up, I promise."

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

Nodding at some secret message passed between them, Carlisle quickly hugged Edward before smiling at Bella. "Sorry if I woke you."

"It's fine. Really," she assured Carlisle before he left.

Feeling uncomfortable for keeping Edward awake, she moved toward him to give him a kiss. "I'm sorry we woke you."

He looked up with bleary eyes, but Bella had a gut feeling something else other than him being tired caused the strained look.

"What's wrong?" She lowered to sit beside him, even as he rested his elbows on his knees and put his head between his hands. It was a totally defeated look.

"I'm not good company right now, Bella. Let me give you a call when I wake up, okay?"

Bella was torn between being respectful of his request and wanting to find out what was wrong. They'd been so honest with each other so far that she decided to admit it. "I want to leave, I really do, but I'm worried about you, and it's making me a little crazy." She shrugged. "You remember when you told me to call you, no matter what? When you told me it would drive you crazy to think I was in need and wouldn't ask because I didn't want to bother you." She saw his head drop slightly. "Well, this is one of those times."

"I don't want to be a burden."

Anger flared within her. "So it's okay for me to fall apart and you to rescue me, but you don't deserve help? Or is it that you think I'm incapable of being strong for you?"

He groaned. "Fuck." Scrubbing his hands through his hair, he sat up.

Seeing the total exhaustion in his face, Bella felt bad for pushing him. "I'm sorry, Edward. I shouldn't push right now. Let me tuck you into bed, and you can call me when you wake, like you said."

He followed her into his bedroom, only taking a brief detour into the restroom. She was lowering the light-blocking shades when he came out in flannel sleep pants and fell face first onto the bed where she'd pulled the covers back. Grabbing one of the pillows, he wrapped his arms around it. She was pulling the comforter back over him when he finally spoke.

"I lost her."

"Who?" Bella dreaded the answer, already suspecting what he meant.

"The last girl they freed from the bus."

She felt him sob beneath her hand, and without thought, she sat, nudging him to move over with her hand. She came to rest against the headboard close enough to run her fingers through his hair.

"I thought I had her, but there was too much damage to her internal organs. No matter how fast I repaired the injuries, something else was sucking away her life."

Bella waited out his crying, running her fingers through his hair until she heard the sobs soften.

"I'm going to go and get a wet washcloth, and I'll be right back," she said softly.

His bathroom was immaculate but for the scrubs he'd allowed to fall to the floor. She found washcloths stacked in the small linen closet and wet one with scalding hot water. By the time she made it back to him, it was the perfect temperature to wipe his face.

"Sit up for me for a minute."

He struggled, but did. Pulling the damp pillow away, she plumped another one before softly wiping his face. In the dusky room, she used her fingers to guide the cloth across his forehead, eyes, then nose before folding it to use a clean side to do it again. It was as comforting for her as him.

"Now lie back down."

He flopped down in exhaustion.

Leaning over, she lightly touched her lips to his. "Now you listen to me, Edward Cullen. That little girl had the best surgeon possible; she just didn't have a good chance. How many more injured did you treat from the accident?" she asked softly against his lips.

"Couple of broken bones and three other surgeries."

"And they all survived, right?"

"Yes."

"How long did it take them to get her to the hospital?"

"Hours."

"Exactly. It fucking hurts to lose someone you're trying to save, I know." Jamie's face filled her vision for a few seconds. "When you wake up, we'll talk about it. But for now, I want you to close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll stay here until you do. Then tonight or tomorrow, whenever you wake up, you come see me, okay?"

He snuggled down into the pillow, allowing her to run her fingers through his hair and down his neck. "Yes, ma'am."

There was just enough sass in his words to make her smile.

~Honor~


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the rest of the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

I forgot to give a **Thank You** last week to whoever nominated Honor in the Fic Dive and then went over to vote. It was selected in the top picks. What an honor – seriously. Had I known, I would've put a note up here, but this is just another example of my epic failure on social media. HA! Again, thank you.

This is a short transition chapter, and although it may not seem significant, you'll see that it represents a turning point in the story. I apologize for not getting to reviews this week, but I will. Most of you know that I have seven kids - six still at home. This week we were the proud (insert sarcasm) recipients of the latest stomach bug virus going around school. I finally got them all well, then fell sick myself towards the end of the week. Sigh . . .

~Honor~

Bella grinned when she saw the text that had alerted.

 _Morning. I need a good run before I come over, so I'm going to pull the dirty clothes off the treadmill._

Considering he'd slept most of the day, she'd allow him the morning funny.

The next text came in immediately afterward.

 _Can I take you to dinner afterward?_

Looking at the mess she'd made in her kitchen with the cookies currently inhabited every cooling space on her countertops, she texted back quickly.

 _Sure, I'll get cleaned up and be waiting_.

His response was a smiley face.

Throughout the day, the rain had turned into snow, so she looked for her warmest sweater and boots to go with a pair of skinny jeans. She'd originally thought to just freshen up, but seeing flour in her hair, she rolled her walker into the shower, stripped, and started the process of making herself look human. She was pulling her boots on when his knock came.

Edward held up a bouquet of daisies as soon as she slid the door open to greet him.

"You're spoiling me." She held the cheery bundle to her nose, enjoying the sprigs of lavender that had been mixed in with the sunny flowers.

"No, remember, I told you I needed to know how to suck up when I mess up."

His grin was enough apology, but she wasn't going to tell him. Jerking her head toward the kitchen, she said, "Let me put them in some water before we leave."

"Oh my God, what's that smell?" he asked.

She gave him a come-hither smile. "Homemade chocolate chip cookies."

Bella watched as his eyes widened and his pupils dilated. The look on his face was almost as sexy as when she had him under her, her hands on his skin.

"Did you know chocolate chip cookies are my favorite?"

She could've sworn she saw him drool as he followed her toward the kitchen. "Hmm . . . a little birdie may have told me something about that."

Bella had robbed Esme of all kinds of secrets while she and Edward visited his parents' home. Grabbing the vase she'd used for the last bunch of flowers he gave her, she filled it with room temperature water and unwrapped the bright stems from the plastic.

"How did you get these?" she asked, realizing he'd had very little time since he'd reportedly woken up.

He smirked, humor making his eyes sparkle. "I've made friends with one of the teenagers who lives on the third floor with his parents. He's always good for running errands to make some quick cash. He's trying to save up for a new Xbox." His eyes strayed toward one of the Rubbermaid containers sitting on the countertop, and Bella giggled at his lost concentration.

Snapping her fingers in front of Edward's eyes, she smiled when he blushed. "I have a whole container for you, but you can't have any until after you eat your dinner."

"Yes, Mom," he snarked before rubbing his flat abdomen. "But I'll have you know I'm wasting away to nothing here."

Rolling her eyes, Bella reached over and popped open the closest tub, reaching in to grab two cookies. Holding them up like treats, she shook her head as his eyes zeroed in on her hand. "What would you do to earn two now?"

"Grovel." The tone of his voice was deep and velvety, making every nerve in her body flare to life.

"How about a kiss?" she retorted.

Edward glanced over to the kitchen table, but Bella reached up to cup his cheek, bringing his focus back on her. "No. Here."

"Are you sure?" he asked. He bit his lip with his top teeth, and she saw him clench his fists.

Bella was becoming adept at picking up the tells of Edward's desire. The rush she felt knowing a simple request for a kiss turned him on made her insides melt. She nodded.

"Where are the cuffs?"

"In my bedroom."

Edward went as still as a statue.

"Hold your hands out," she ordered him and was surprised by the speed at which he complied. Placing a cookie in each hand, she grinned evilly. "After hearing what your mother had to say about your addiction, I'm thinking you'd do about anything to keep from missing out on those cookies in your hands. Just know, they're double-chocolate chunk."

Still warm, one of the cookies was already starting to slump over, but his focus was on Bella's lips. The height difference between them required Edward to bend over slightly, so Bella crooked her index finger at him, requesting his help. In response, he slowly lowered toward her, stopping when his mouth was within reach.

Licking her lips, Bella felt a rush of power when he groaned.

"Delilah," he accused, his voice wrapping around her like velvet.

Bella was good with the comparison. She wanted to be Edward's temptress, and while his crazy hair might not be his downfall, it _was_ hers.

With a hand placed on the countertop to steady her, Bella rose on her toes to meet him. Ignoring the screaming of her hip and leg, she pressed her lips to his, going further when he opened to her. It was a very good kiss, just a touch of tongue and shared breath. It should've been so innocent, but it wasn't. Her body craved him like a drug, and she groaned at how her sex clenched in reaction. She embraced the heat, allowing their tongues to mate in moments of frantic seeking before finally lowering to the floor. He tasted of coffee and minty toothpaste. For a moment she panicked when Edward followed, but he moved so slowly she was able to control the reaction.

Brushing her jaw with his lips, he traced the line to her ear. Warm, moist air rushed over her skin as he spoke, electrifying her. "Cookies have nothing on you, baby. So you know, I'd drop them on the floor for the opportunity to touch you."

She felt the gentlest brush of his mouth against her skin before he straightened. The caress sent goose bumps racing across her skin.

"But for now . . ." He took a big bite out of one of the cookies and moaned in appreciation. At her cocked eyebrow, he shrugged, looking like a five-year-old who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Your cookies are amazing, but you're going to taste better."

She gasped at his words, heat rushing to her core at what he was promising.

"Where are we going to eat?" she asked . . . that is, once she could speak.

"It's up to you," he replied, licking his fingers clean of the chocolate. He'd eaten the second cookie in one bite. Smirking at her fascination with his fingers, Edward smiled when Bella's eyes finally met his.

"I wouldn't mind going back to see Henri and Jude." Bella had enjoyed getting to meet the couple when she and Edward visited the café.

"Hmm . . . I may have to watch you around them." Snorting at her rolled eyes, he picked up her jacket, holding it out for her to slide on. "We can go to the café. I'm sure they're working, but I don't mind going somewhere nicer, if you want fancy."

Bella shrugged. "Their food was amazing, and I like their company. Plus, I like to see the way you blush when they flirt with you."

He pulled her hat on slowly, but allowed his fingertips to drop to her shoulders. Bella jumped slightly, but she took a deep breath and relaxed. "I'd like to touch your face the next time we kiss."

Edward watched the shadows darken her eyes and bleach her face.

"I wanted to let you know now, so you can think about it… to see if it would be possible. Perhaps if you guided my hands, it would work? If not, I'm fine."

Edward remained still as her tortured eyes raced across his face.

Bella grasped one of his hands, turning it over to trace his palm with her fingertips. He shivered at the sensation. He'd had lovers. Creative lovers. But somehow this tender, innocent touch rocked him in a way no other had.

She'd bowed her head to watch her exploration, but when she looked up, his breath caught. He knew her answer before she said it.

"Yes. I would like to try that."

~Honor~

"Bella!" Jude called out as soon as they walked through the door.

She'd insisted on using the cane, wanting to enter under her own steam. Bella was stubborn, but not stupid. The wheelchair was safely tucked into the trunk of Edward's Volvo in case she grew tired.

The attractive blond man approached, but stopped short of hugging her – giving her a slight bow instead. Jude wasn't so shy with Edward, grabbing his face and placing loud smacks to each of his cheeks. Bella snickered as a warm blush covered her lover's face.

"You know, if Bella hadn't insisted I bring her here, I could forget I ever knew you."

Jude laughed at Edward's baseless threat. The boisterous sound brought Henri out from behind the kitchen doors. It was Edward's time to watch Bella squirm as the handsome Frenchman wooed her with his accent. The way Henri said her name was enough to make Edward want to smack him.

"Ma belle, I remember you like vegetables, non?"

At Bella's nod, he grinned. "For Jude's meal, I made him the most delicious mushroom and asparagus quiche. He is a greedy boy, but I might be able to sneak you a slice."

Bella laughed at the distraught look on Jude's face at Henri's offer. It was almost as painful as the pleading look Edward had given her for the cookies.

"I'm afraid if I accept, Jude will never forgive me."

Henri caressed his lover's jaw quickly. "Non, I'll make it up to him later."

With a wink at the now extremely greedy look on Jude's face, Henri turned to leave.

"What about me?" Edward called out. His voice was a grumble.

"You are so predictable," Henri retorted, his heavy French accent suddenly apparent. It made his statement sound like an insult. "I'll take care of you as well."

Chuckling, Edward held out the chair to the table Jude had led them to. It was in the corner where they could sit beside one another and watch the activity on the street outside. Had it been sunny, Bella was certain the spot would have been heated by the light. It was still cozy, tucked away from the business of the café and the bustling street outside. She sighed watching the people rush by as they made their way into shops or cars.

"How long have they been here?" she asked as soon as Edward slid into the chair beside her.

"A couple of years. I keep wondering when they're going to go bigger, but the last time I spoke to Jude about it, he said they liked the intimacy of this place."

They were certainly doing good business. There wasn't a seat left in the area, and she suddenly wondered how they'd gotten a table.

He grinned when he saw her quizzical look. "I texted them while you went to the restroom to let them know we were coming."

"Aren't you special?"

Edward shrugged in good humor, but Jude stopped any further conversation when he brought waters and warm bread with butter.

Bella's quiche and salad made her moan, but Edward's spinach- and cheese-stuffed chicken breast with fresh green beans were as good. Unwilling to miss out on Bella's chocolate chip cookies, Edward just ordered coffee, while Bella tried a small slice of Henri's chocolate croissant for dessert.

Unwilling to bring up the incident of the prior night until they had privacy, Bella had asked questions about his brothers and sisters-in-law, until a large family walked by the window. She saw Edward grinning at the twin girls who held their father's hands, while the mother held a baby and led a toddler boy.

"Do you want children?" she asked.

His green eyes danced. "Yes. One day." Reaching for her, he linked their fingers together, putting their joined hands on top of the table. "I love my nieces and nephews, and I hate any kids I have will be years younger than them, but yes, I'd love to have a rug rat or two."

"I keep wondering why no one has ever snagged you, Edward. You're kinda perfect, you know."

"Far from it, Bella, but I'm glad you think so."

"Bella, Edward . . . Henri wanted me to invite you to our home Sunday to watch the game. That is if you are off?" Jude asked as he cleared their table.

"I am next Sunday, not this one," Edward answered, and a date was made between them.

A small fight broke out between Jude and Edward over the non-existent check. Edward threatened to never come back if he couldn't pay, and Jude rolled his eyes making statements about how Edward wouldn't be able to stay away. In the end, Edward conceded long enough to leave a tip that covered the meal while Jude wasn't watching.

"They do that every time," he grumped as he helped Bella into the car.

She waited until he settled into the driver's seat to respond. "They appreciate your care of their friend. And I think they love you because you accept them."

"Accept them?" he asked, confusion clear on his features.

"You know, that they're gay. Not all men are comfortable with being around gay couples, much less close to them."

Shaking his head, Edward turned, and Bella knew he was about to reveal something important. "Jasper's bisexual. He was actually in a relationship with a man when he met Alice. I didn't really like his partner much, because I didn't think John treated Jasper the way he should, but Jasper knew it wasn't because of John's gender. I couldn't care less whether Jasper ended up with a woman or a man, I just wanted him to be with someone who loved him."

He gazed out the window for a moment before cranking the car and turning on the heat.

"They have a third partner sometimes. Someone who helps meet Jasper's needs. It's a friend of Jazz's from the university. I asked him why they didn't go public, and he explained that while it was okay to be gay at the university, they weren't certain how a plural relationship would be received."

Bella giggled. "Wow, kinda gives me all sorts of kinky images."

"I know, right? My curiosity killed me, and I finally asked if Alice is a recipient of Mark's affections as well, and Jasper just grinned." Edward chuckled. "I'm thinking he'd find it intriguing that I'm turning into your submissive."

Bella smacked his shoulder affectionately before she realized what she'd done. "Sorry." She was immediately uncomfortable. Violence, in any form, was something she avoided.

Edward reached for her slowly, taking her hand in his. "Baby, look at me." When she complied with his request, he smiled tenderly. "That was a love tap. Okay?" He managed to catch her eye again.

"Okay."

"So, the hospital changed my schedule since I was in surgery back-to-back for twenty four hours and gave me tomorrow off. Which means we can go to the movies, or to this bar I know where they have an open mic for locals, or-"

"Let's go back to my place. I really wanted to talk about this morning."

She watched him swallow hard, but he nodded in agreement.

"Sure. Whatever you want to do, Bella, I'm fine with."

Edward laughed suddenly and quickly pulled out of the parking space as Jude exited the café and shook the money he'd left at them. Giving the irate man a two finger salute, Edward maneuvered into traffic so Jude couldn't catch them. "I usually leave it as the tip for whoever waits my table."

Bella rolled her eyes at the man beside her. "You'll hear about that next Sunday."

"Yup."

They made it back to the loft in good time, and Bella immediately walked into her kitchen, bringing out a gallon of milk to pour two large glasses. "Do you mind taking these and one of the containers of cookies over to the couch?"

"Trying to sweeten me up?"

She arched her eyebrow at him. "Do I need to?"

"Absolutely not," he chuckled. "Don't tell him I said this, but Henri's desserts have nothing on yours."

Lowering slowly into the comfort of her oversized sofa, Bella stretched her legs, grimacing at the shards of pain.

"I wish I could give you a massage," Edward said as he sat beside her.

She hated the strained look on his face, and wished her recovery was as easy as wanting to be okay. Opening up the box of cookies, she handed it to him, hoping to take the sting of her limitations away.

"I was thinking about this the other day, and I think a foot massage would be okay."

"Really?" Edward looked like she had handed him the greatest of gifts.

She nodded, unable to keep the smile off her face at his enthusiasm. "But first, tell me about last night."

He ate one of the cookies and took a big drink of his milk before he spoke. "All doctors have a bit of a God complex. If they say they don't, they're lying. And of them all, trauma surgeons are probably the worst."

Edward scooted closer to Bella, so their sides touched, her thigh snug against the hard muscles of his. It amazed Bella that she felt no need to move away. When he held a cookie to her lips, she didn't hesitate to take a bite, intentionally nipping his fingertip in the process. She savored the jolt of electricity that shot between them.

"Bella, I'm sorry I was an ass last night. I'm fully aware you're a strong person."

Inordinately pleased at the compliment, she felt a blush on her cheeks even as he continued.

"I have to learn to share the load though. It's not something I've had a lot of experience with. When they brought that little girl in, I knew the chances of her making it through surgery were slim, but I wanted to save her. It was a shot to the gut when I couldn't. Add the pain of losing her to an already long shift of surgeries, and I was not at my best."

"You weren't mean or anything, Edward. You just withdrew."

Edward stared ahead, "I won't deny it, but my plan was to get some sleep before I spoke with you." He sent her a shy look. "Thank you for putting me to bed. You better watch out, I might start faking exhaustion in order to get you to do it more often." He grinned as she squeezed his hand. "It does seem you're having an easier time touching me, though."

"Yeah, that really doesn't seem to be a problem anymore."

He nudged her gently with his shoulder, and again, she felt victory at the ability to handle the touch. "We'll keep working on it, Bella."

"We're actually a pair, you know . . . with the way we handle things."

He munched on another cookie before responding. "How so?"

"When I realized Jamie was gone, when I thought I'd failed him, I shut down too."

Bella thought Edward would tense at the mention of his brother, but he didn't. Instead, he turned calmly toward her.

 _Tell them I loved them. Tell them the best way to remember me is to live._

"I want to tell you about what happened the night Jamie died."

~Honor~

AN: Hope you enjoyed and that you have a wonderful week! Until next Sunday.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the rest of the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

 **Trigger warnings.** I really don't know what to say. I've been dreading this chapter since I was convinced to turn the original one-shot into a full story. I have several different versions, and this is the one I think does what I needed it to do without being too morose. Hang in there with me.

 **This chapter is dedicated to Kory and his MWD Cooper who lost their lives in 2007 in Iraq. Nothing can ever repay your service and sacrifice. In addition, to Kory's step-mom – who is someone very special to me.**

~Honor~

Bella didn't know exactly how to start. She took a deep breath, her focus on Edward's green eyes, even if she wasn't really seeing them. "They already had Jamie when they found me. I'd hurt my hip when I landed, so there was really no way to escape. Jamie had also been injured. I'm not really sure how it happened, but he had a bad gash on his head. It made him an easy target for their brutality. They kept reopening it any time he tried to intervene."

She remembered how much blood there had been, and how she'd thought there was no way Jamie could survive it all.

"We walked for a solid day while our captors rode in a vehicle behind us. If either of us stumbled, they shot at us. When we finally reached the town where they imprisoned us, I thought we were going to be shot as examples. Instead, the men–"

Edward waited in silence watching the disgust pass over her face.

"It was the first time they raped me. In broad daylight, in the middle of the road while their comrades cheered them on."

Edward wasn't sure if she realized she'd reached for his hand, so he remained still as she collected her thoughts.

"Jamie went ballistic, and they beat him." She blinked slowly. "When they were done with us, they carried us to this shack and threw us in a hole in the ground. Jamie was unconscious, and I wasn't much better. When I landed on my hip, I passed out."

Features strained and pinched, she continued. "There was this one man, the one I called The Interrogator, who came every time. He acted as if our release hinged upon my telling him secrets about our missions. He just wanted to torture us, to make me scream. I'm not even sure he really got off on using my body, as much as he did about how crazy it made Jamie. He was relentless, always bringing his friends to hold Jamie down. I kept telling him to stop fighting against them, but it was only when I stopped reacting that he listened."

"How long did it go on?" Edward asked. It took everything he had to keep his voice neutral, when all he wanted to do was roar in anger.

"A lifetime, it seemed, but I found out later we'd been missing a little over two months when they found us." She closed her eyes briefly. "Time lost all meaning."

She squeezed his hand slightly and focused on the window and the pinging noise of sleet hitting it. "I learned to dissociate from what was happening. It was like I was watching it all from above the moment. I tried to get Jamie to do the same."

Edward monitored her breathing, skin color, and pupils for signs of shock. He wasn't so sure they should be tackling this subject this soon, but he'd determined to let Bella take the lead in the relationship. He was, however, a medical professional, and at the first sign this was becoming too dangerous for her, he would find a way to stop it. There was a reason he'd suggested couple's counseling, and it wasn't all because of the need to walk through the physical land mines between them. He might be able to protect her physically, but it was her mind and soul he was worried about right now.

"Sometimes they would ignore us for days, and although it seemed like heaven, the hunger would become so sharp it twisted around in our stomachs like demons with sharp, fire-hot pokers. He always came back though."

Edward watched as the fingers of her free hand curled into her stomach. He wondered at the memories she was reliving as she stared out into the night. He almost startled when the depth of her chocolate eyes swung back to him.

Edward had seen many haunted people in his short career as a trauma surgeon. Individuals whose hopes and fears taunted them until nothing but shock could win. He'd walked into families praying, people fighting, and those who were comatose as the reality of how frail and precious human life stormed their defenses. It was something in the eyes.

It had become a somewhat morbid clinical analysis for him.

There were those whose eyes held hope. They seemed to cling to him the moment he walked in to deliver life-altering news. There were those individuals who held fear. Too many of them had left things unsaid, important things, things his news would make anvils . . . dead weights around their necks if they allowed it. There were those, too, whose eyes were dead. He'd seen a few of them, as well. The psychopaths who were brought in for healing after they'd destroyed others. He couldn't exactly explain how his soul shuddered when he treated those patients. He was honor bound to give them the same heroic efforts, but the stain of their evil always seemed to stay with him for long periods afterward.

He'd had a mentor who'd described it as spiritual warfare when Edward had confessed his struggle.

What he saw in Bella's eyes was so much worse. Desolation was a word that came to mind, but even that didn't cover the maelstrom of pain swirling in the depths of her gaze.

"A couple of days before we were found, The Interrogator brought some newbies. I think they were there to torture us. While the man was raping me, Jamie got into a fight with two of the guys, and although he took a beating, I saw him slip something underneath the shirt he'd given me." Anger stained her cheeks like a blush. "I'd learned to strip as soon as they came down the ladder, because if I had clothes on, they destroyed them. It was the only way I could keep a piece of clothing to wear."

The indignity seemed more hurtful to Bella than the actual rape, and it took a moment for Edward to consider why. "Stripping was a survival technique Bella; don't allow the memories to paint it in any other term."

Fire snapped into her eyes as she nodded, and Edward breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't stand for her to entertain any thought that she'd done something to encourage the man's actions. The man . . .The Interrogator as Bella referred to him . . . had been a monster. Should he be using the past tense? Edward had to fight to rein in his murderous thoughts and feelings at the notion the man might have escaped justice.

"Jamie said the same thing," she responded softly, the tone much different than the matter-of-fact way in which she'd been delivering her story. The almost robotic quality returned when she continued. "We heard shouting and the men became agitated by whatever they were hearing. So much so, they left without finishing what they came to do."

Bella leaned over to grab her milk. Edward worried it had grown warm, but he didn't say anything. His manners demanded he offer to get her some water, but his instincts screamed to stay quiet. Bella would let him know if she needed anything, and Edward didn't want to make her feel awkward. Bella was revealing a trauma few would survive, much less be able to share. He felt her withdrawal when she released his hand to hold the glass between hers.

"Jamie had been able to steal a knife from one of their sheaths during the fight, and he thought maybe we could use it to gain our freedom." She sobbed slightly. "Edward, we were both so weak."

" _I feel like an absolute ass to ask this, but if you can do something as a distraction next time, I can overpower them. One or two down, and you and I'll have a chance. It's chaos out there," Jamie said of the fighting we could hear. The sounds of explosives were growing closer and closer. "I'm going to act as if I'm too weak to sit up. Either they'll have to get down on the ground to watch over me, or they might ignore me if they think something is wrong."_

" _Start now," Bella suggested. "When they come to throw food down . . . well, if they do . . . just remain on the ground. It'll accomplish two things. It'll help you save your strength and word will get back."_

 _A young boy had delivered their food the last time, his dark eyes inquisitive. He hadn't been much more than a child, and Bella had wondered about his thoughts on seeing two humans thrown into a pit of filth. The whole village had to know they were there. It wasn't like the men had hidden their capture._

 _They only had to wait until the next evening to implement their plan. The thump of the covering startled Bella from her pain-filled haze. Jamie lay as still as death on the ground. Remembering their discussions, Bella leaned over him protectively as The Interrogator came down the ladder, trying not to jump in shock at the gun strapped across his back. A feeling of doom filled her at the sight._

 _Usually he taunted her, but this time he reached for her immediately, grabbing her by the arm and jerking her to a stand. Unsteady, Bella stumbled, falling into him._

" _So eager," he taunted, causing the four other men to laugh._

 _When the closest one grabbed her other arm, something inside Bella snapped, and she began fighting. Kicking out at the one holding her, Bella connected with his genitals, and the man roared in pain. He fell to the ground and his closest companion slashed at her face with a knife. Searing fire erupted from her cheek, and she could feel blood pouring down her face. She screamed when she felt a vicious blow to her leg and white hot pain shot through her. The Interrogator slammed her into the dirt wall, allowing her to fall._

 _The sounds of fighting roused her long enough to see Jamie engaged with two of them and The Interrogator aiming the rifle in his direction while the other man still rolled in the dirt. She pushed up and bit into the monster's leg, tearing at the meat as he screamed and swung around to shoot her. Bella shifted and almost passed out from the pain, but by a stroke of luck, he didn't cover his crotch and she rammed her head into his dick as hard as she could. The man squealed like the pig he was, but still pulled the trigger. Rapid shots hit the dirt around her, but she reached blindly for the barrel and pushed it toward him even though the hot metal burned her. His screaming echoed through the space, and Bella watched in fascination as he dropped to the ground, blood and bone spraying over her as his knee cap disintegrated._

 _She grabbed at the gun and won the battle as the man fought weakly through the pain of having his dick busted and the loss of his knee. Finger to trigger, Bella felt the jolt of the assault rifle as bullets pumped into him. The force of the shots caused his body to jerk and make contact with her thigh, and she felt the other man grabbing her legs. Knowing she had only moments before the darkness claimed her, Bella turned and aimed for the men fighting Jamie, the shots blasting out even as she surrendered to the pain._

 _She would wonder for the rest of her life if she imagined Jamie's voice, or if the pain had brought on a hallucination, but she could've sworn she heard him whisper, "You did it, Major."_

 _~Honor~_

 _Silence surrounded Bella when the agony of her leg pulled her from unconsciousness. It was pitch black in the hole, and she jerked away from the hand that held hers on instinct._

" _Jamie?" Even the effort of speaking threatened her sanity as the muscles pulled at the throbbing knife wound._

 _He didn't answer._

" _Jamie!" she screamed, before attempting to sit up._

 _She fell back when the effort disturbed her leg. Nauseous, she ran her hand down her thigh and felt a lump. Shattered bone pressed against her fingers from under the fine layer of skin._

" _Jamie?" she cried out, reaching around to feel for him._

 _She found The Interrogator's corpse to her right side. She could tell by the feel of the coarse fabric of his shirt. Fingers searching to the other side, she felt fabric again, but this time, it was in the form of Jamie's hat._

 _NO!_

 _A faint wisp of remembrance hit . . . there had been the feel of something in her hand before she'd jerked away from the person holding her._

 _Slowly, her hand inched forward and came up against something cold and stiff. Bella traced the fingers, frozen in an embrace, to the wrist, but her cries of agony started when she followed the skin to a shirtless arm, further to a shoulder, and then to a chiseled beard-covered jawline._

 _Only one other person in the hell she'd endured had been without clothing; the man who had literally given her the shirt off his back for protection._

 _For hours, her screams echoed in the hole like the cries of a demented beast._

"I regained consciousness when one of the soldiers who found us checked for my pulse."

Edward wanted to pull Bella into his arms, to console her as she sobbed, but was afraid it would be too much.

"I just remember screaming that they take Jamie out first, but they ignored me. The village was destroyed. It was only by the grace of God the shit house they'd put us in hadn't been hit by the shells. A military working dog found us. They'd let him go first into the village to check for mines and guns, but I later found out he'd veered off course and led them directly to Jamie and me."

Bella slid her hand back to Edward, wrapping her fingers around his.

"It's all fuzzy still, but I remember them bringing Jamie out. They'd draped one of the Marines' shirts over him, but I could see his hand when it fell free of the board they used. He died holding my hand, the hat for your mother grasped between us. I should have been there for him!" She raged, her face twisting.

"You were." Edward's heart felt shredded. It was a lot to take in, to hear how his brother's last moments on the Earth were spent. He couldn't imagine living it. But there was something clear to him; Jamie had been holding Bella's hand when he died, so there had been comfort at least.

"I asked one of them to go back for the hat and when he ignored me I went crazy. It was a combination of his touch and how angry I was. In his defense, he was trying to control the bleeding from my face. Someone must have realized how important it was, because before they put me on the helicopter for transport, one of the Marines dropped it into my hand."

"Later, during my debriefing, the colonel told me Jamie died from internal injuries and excessive blood loss from knife wounds." She maintained Edward's gaze. "I'd been haunted with the possibility I'd accidentally shot him when I tried to take out the men attacking him." She shook her head slightly. "I would've fucking killed myself if I'd found out I'd hit him by accident. I killed The Interrogator, blew his gut open and dick off, and the investigation said I slowed the others down, but I only hit a death shot on one other. Jamie had to have dispatched the rest. Even with therapy, I wake screaming, wondering why I couldn't have been quicker in getting the gun. If I'd shot the bastard only a couple of times instead of going wild on him, would the moments have made a difference for Jamie? Why, when Jamie and I were only hours from freedom, did he have to die? He could've left me and gone for help. The ladder was still there from where they'd lowered it. But no, he had to turn all heroic and stay with me."

Throwing the glass across the room, Bella watched as it shattered against the wall. Tears gathered in her eyes and her mouth twisted. "So fucking close. We were so fucking close." She sobbed. "He'd pulled himself over to me. Maybe if he'd stayed still . . ."

"Shh . . ." Edward crooned, rubbing his thumb across her hand.

"I fucking loved your brother like he was my own, and I'm pissed. Pissed that we made it through hell together for him to die only hours before we were rescued!" she shouted, then surprised Edward by crawling into his lap. Bella grabbed his arms and pulled them around her, putting her ear to his chest where she could hear his heart.

Edward felt the scalding heat of her tears soaking his shirt.

He knew Jamie, like he knew himself. His brother would've laid his life down for Bella Swan, and it would seem he'd given it fighting for them both. Edward didn't doubt the men meant for Jamie and Bella to disappear that night. He was just glad he was able to hold a little piece of them both and snuggled Bella a little closer.

Humming a soft lullaby, he rocked her gently until she fell asleep against him.

~Honor~

Whew! I'm ready for the next chapter. They've been through hell, so I'm ready to begin the journey to the lighter side of the story. Smile.

I've been asked about my "vision" of Jamie. I have to admit, he looks more like Cam Gigandet from some of his other movies - versus the less glamorous James from Twilight. I've been enjoying writing a good James. I've only really included him in a greater degree in one other story - and it was a one-shot for the Cannon Tour (Twilight era). I wrote the story before I owned the official guide (with all the character's histories), so it is my dark and twisted version of how James became James. If you like serial killer/mystery kinda stuff - go over and meet my evil James. The story is called Modus Operandi.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi [my apologies Sammi – somehow I left you off of the last two chapters – facepalm] & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

I apologize for not responding to reviews, but I've had a crazy week. My husband had some serious health concerns this week (unexpectedly), so I've had to be an exceptionally understanding and concerned spouse. I figured you'd rather me be writing in my limited extra time.

Happy, Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you are doing something special for yourself if you don't have someone to do it for you. I have had a great one, and I'm definitely looking forward to the new Walking Dead episode tonight! Gasp.

~Honor~

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen." Edward smiled at the woman and tried not to sigh as her pupils dilated. His brothers, Jamie in particular, always teased him about how women reacted to his voice. "I'm here for an appointment with Dr. Velathri."

It took the receptionist a moment to find her voice. "Yes, sir. Please have a seat. Ms. Swan hasn't arrived yet."

Edward nodded before making his way over to a chair beside the window.

Dr. Velathri had come highly recommended from Bella's personal therapist. An expert in trauma and its effects on relationships, the man had a dossier that made Edward jealous. After the last night they'd spent together, Bella had told Carol about her confessions, and the timeline for couples therapy had been expedited. Bella and Edward had been lucky to gain a meeting with Dr. Velathri, if the research Edward had done on the man was any indication. He'd practiced in Europe for many years before moving to the United States and naturalizing. Highly sought after, Dr. Velathri had a client waiting list. Edward wasn't going to question whatever divine intervention had allowed them an open intake spot.

The morning after Bella had told Edward about Jamie's last moments had dawned clear and cold with the sunlight reflecting off the snow and streaking through the windows in bright prisms. Inside Bella's apartment, it was warm and calm, the sounds of eager birds attempting to find their meals in the snow filling the silence with happy chatter. Edward had fashioned a pallet of sorts from blankets on the floor in front of the couch, where Bella had fallen asleep in his arms. He'd wanted to be near her, in case she woke, but knew that cradling her on the sofa would've been too much after the trauma of reliving her and Jamie's last moments in hell. Although he was usually a light sleeper, he'd been awoken by the feel of her trailing her fingertips over his face and to the sight of slightly swollen brown eyes looking down at him.

While the revelation didn't come as a lightning bolt, more of a settling deep within his soul, it was in that moment he knew his life would never be complete without her by his side and that he was irrevocably in love with her.

" _I love you,"_ he'd said softly.

Eyes shimmering with tears, she'd crawled off the couch to join him, placing her arm across his chest, her head on his shoulder, and her leg across his. _"I love you, too."_

There had been no need for further words, the next hour spent allowing the warmth, the sounds of life outside the apartment, and their innocent cuddling to begin the healing from the horrible wounds that had been uncovered.

Bella had been so fragile for days afterward, even with her father's visit, that Edward had suggested she speak with Carol about them beginning therapy. After hearing what had occurred, Bella's therapist had promptly referred them to Marcus Velathri, which is why he sat in the man's posh lobby waiting for Bella to arrive.

Edward's schedule had been brutal over the past week, and he'd felt adrift from Bella even though they spoke by phone all the time, and she insisted he wake her every night when he arrived home so they could spend time together. Edward knew what he craved, what made him feel anxious . . . he wanted her in his bed . . . to hold and to make love to, but they were still so far away from that occurring. He considered himself an enlightened man, but he was still a man, and his desire was a raging beast he confronted every morning. For now, patience was his virtue, and she was worth it. He had the next three days off, and he fully intended to use the time to help Bella begin healing the pain of her past.

The door opening captured his attention away from where he'd been blindly staring, and he stood quickly when he saw Bella slowly walking inside. She'd been to therapy with Jane in the early morning hours while Edward slept in, catching up on his sleep after a long shift.

"Hey, baby," he murmured, leaning down to give her a small kiss.

This they'd made significant progress on. As long as his hands remained at his side, he could indulge in his many lurid fantasies about her lips. The art of kissing Bella Swan had become one of his favorite pastimes.

"Hey, handsome. You look a lot better than this morning when I saw you," she teased, pulling at the hem of his form-fitting sweater.

He rolled his eyes at her. Coming off four straight days of twelve-plus hour shifts would cause anyone to look like death warmed over.

"You're moving slow. You okay?"

"Jane was a bitch today. I swear that woman lived another life as a demented blood-sucking demon. She was relentless, but guess what?"

"Hmm . . ." he murmured going in for another brief kiss, even as the receptionist watched them.

Bella grabbed the material at his chest, clinging to him as he tasted her lips. They hadn't had their cuddle time in the early morning hours due to Edward's need to sleep before the appointment and Bella's rush to get to the rehab facility.

"Fuck, you taste so good," he whispered against the sensitive skin of her neck when he finally broke away. He gave the skin a little nibble.

Reeling from the sensual assault, Bella leaned her cheek against his chest, listening with pleasure to the pounding of his heart. It certainly stroked her ego that she could make this god-like man lose control.

She felt Edward take a deep breath before he cleared his throat. "Okay, I'm focusing again. What were you going to tell me?"

Bella giggled like a girl, and the reaction made her chest feel a million pounds lighter. He did this to her, stroking the feminine parts of her that had been brutalized.

"I walked the entire session without a cane."

Stepping back far enough to see her face, Edward gave Bella a broad smile. "Baby, that's amazing!"

Another throat clearing caught their attentions, and Edward and Bella turned to see an enigmatic man looking at them.

Long black hair fell from a widow's peak, framing a lean face with a hawkish nose. Tall and lean, the man was dressed in all black. It was only the olive complexion of his skin that kept him from appearing vampirish; even his voice hinted at a Romanian ancestry. He stood inside the door leading from the lobby, his hands clasped in a cosmic mudra position before him.

"Dr. Cullen, Major Swan, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Marcus Velathri." He elegantly waved for them to follow.

Edward didn't know whether to run or not, but Bella gave him a quick look, her eyes rounded in intrigue. She reached for his hand and led him forward.

The walls were covered in what Bella assessed as priceless art. The colors were muted, creating a soothing atmosphere, and she could have sworn she heard the sound of water. During her mother's last days, Bella and Renee had done yoga together, and the vibe of Dr. Velathri's office was very similar to the studios they'd visited. Except here, Bella sensed a true aura of peace and tranquility. Dr. Velathri held open a door and encouraged them to enter before he joined them.

Half expecting the man to be pretentious, his office lined with diplomas and awards, Edward was surprised to find the large space filled with furniture in soft creams and tans, the walls a light green. In the corner, a large fountain allowed water to cascade over rocks, creating the murmuring of a small brook. There were groupings of chairs to one side, and a collection of pillows for floor seating that would rival any sultan's harem. Surprisingly, there wasn't a desk in sight.

"Major Swan, from the paperwork you completed, I know you're still suffering from your injury. Would the couch or chairs be more comfortable for you?" he asked, inclining his head toward a cluster near a large-pane glass window. Outside was a lush garden of green.

Intrigued, Edward assessed the plants more closely and saw they were protected by a greenhouse-like covering. Cleverly set sprinklers spanning the enclosure most likely fed the oasis.

Bella slowly made her way toward the area the man had indicated, sitting on the couch, so that Edward could sit beside her. She linked their hands immediately when he settled.

Taking a chair across from them, Dr. Velathri smiled, which helped to eliminate the austere lines of his face. "Shall we get the necessities done quickly? First, please call me Marcus. Dr. Velathri is entirely too formal. And would you prefer that I call you by your titles or your first names?"

Bella squeezed Edward's hand slightly, and he could sense her nervousness. "Bella and Edward please."

With a nod of acceptance, the man went through the standard disclosures, assuring them of their confidentiality as long as there were no statements regarding harm to self or others. It was all standard protocol, and something Edward and Bella knew. Before being given an appointment, they'd had to complete stacks of papers, including statements of what brought them to Dr. Velathri's office.

Marcus' niceties were interrupted by a scratching sound, and Edward saw the shock on the man's face at the distraction.

"I do apologize. Would you excuse me for a moment?"

At their nods, he walked toward a far corner of the room and moved behind a screen. They heard the sound of a door opening, but then a light blur raced toward them, stopping short of Bella. A beautiful Golden Retriever placed her head on Bella's knee, looking up with sorrowful brown eyes.

"Bella, I am so sorry." Marcus appeared flustered, which was obviously an unusual feeling for him. "Sasha, come."

Edward watched in fascination as the animal's muscles bunched to obey her master, but something kept the female dog in place, her nuzzle delicately balanced on Bella's leg, eyes shining.

Marcus narrowed his eyes briefly before returning to them. "Bella, Sasha is my guide dog."

"Guide dog?" Bella's tore her gaze from the animal and focused back on Marcus' face. "I didn't realize you were blind?"

"I'm not visually impaired." He smiled gently before sitting. "Sasha, you've been a bad girl. No treat for you tonight."

The dog whined at his threat, but her eyes remained on Bella. Contrary to Marcus' words, he obviously adored the dog, and there was something in his expression that led Edward to believe he really wasn't too angry.

"Sasha is actually a veteran dog, but most individuals are more familiar with the term guide dog. She helps with my PTSD. She senses when I'm agitated, or having a nightmare, and she provides comfort."

Bella's shoulders dropped. "How long have you suffered with nightmares?"

"Decades," Marcus acknowledged.

Her shoulders dropped further, and Edward didn't like the defeated stance.

However, Marcus beat Edward to addressing the issue. "I was involved in the revolution in Romania during the 1980s. I lost many friends and family members during the fighting, and I was injured. Although the nightmares are rare now, Sasha helps me when they do come. And she's a favorite of my wife, DeeDee, so when I've been a complete putz, she helps me win DeeDee's regard back. Don't you girl?"

Sasha's tail thumped against the thick carpet.

A shy smile appeared on Bella's lips. "I know with guide dogs, you aren't supposed to touch them, but can I pet her?"

"I think she interrupted my truly important work for just that," he said in a falsely aggrieved tone.

The man smiled as Sasha stretched her head into Bella's touch. Edward didn't miss the calculating look on Marcus's face though.

"I've read your histories from the paperwork, and I must say your situation is unique. I do therapy a little differently. Those individuals who come to me are often far beyond wanting to start with repeating their whole life stories, so I would like to ask your purposes for coming. What are your goals?"

Edward caught Bella's attention, silently questioning if she wanted to be the spokesperson. When she squeezed his hand and continued to pay attention to Sasha, he took the lead.

"As you are aware from our paperwork, Bella and I met at my brother's funeral. She was his major in the Air Force, and they were shot down during a mission." Edward softened his tone. "She was sexually assaulted while they were imprisoned. She and my brother had to fight for their lives before she was rescued; unfortunately, my brother died before the Marines found them."

Marcus nodded, his hands back in the yoga pose he'd displayed earlier. "I'm aware of Ms. Swan's military service." The tone of his voice encouraged Edward to continue.

"While we met through a series of terrible events, Bella and I had a connection from the very beginning." Edward smiled over at Bella and found her watching him. Love twisted both of their mouths into smirks. "As you can imagine, Bella has a hard time being touched, which is something we both desire as our relationship matures. I love her." Edward faced Marcus so the man could assess his intent. "I plan to spend my life with her."

Bella's gasp was almost silent.

"So I need guidance in understanding how to help her. I don't want to push too hard, or not hard enough. In the event she has a reaction to something I do, I need to know the right way to react."

"You also need to know how to take care of yourself, young Edward. Your intentions are honorable, but relationships are difficult, and this one is impacted by the brutality of war. If you are not healthy, you can't be what she needs."

"Exactly." Edward nodded.

"Bella?" Marcus asked of her.

"I'm working with my therapist regarding the abuse, but she said you were the expert in relationships and sex. What Edward said was correct. We're in this together," she stopped and threw Edward a long look. "Forever." To Marcus, she added, "And we need your help."

"So tell me what you've been able to accomplish so far. That kiss I witnessed appeared infused with intimacy and desire. It would seem you're on the right path."

The blush on Bella's face bloomed bright. "Well . . ."

~Honor~

"I can't believe he didn't think I was a pervert," Bella whispered over the soup Henri had brought her while he was "perfecting" her meal.

It was mid-afternoon, so the café was quiet.

Edward chuckled at her still astonished face. "Something tells me Marcus has heard it all."

"Are you comfortable with what he suggested?" she asked, arching her eyebrow at him.

Edward steepled his fingers and placed them to his lips, as if he was deliberating his answer. "Let me see, the one where he suggested I allow you to chain me up butt naked and have your way with me. Um . . .that's a definite yes." He snorted when she shushed him and looked around the café in a guilty manner before throwing her napkin at him.

Laughing out loud, Edward dodged the next napkin she launched at him.

"Edward, are you harassing Bella?" Jude called out from across the store where he was working on a dessert display.

"He is!" Bella answered while she knocked Edward in the ribs with her elbow.

Edward shrugged at the man's glare.

"Bella, the only thing I'm uncomfortable with is not being able to touch you. What red-blooded man wouldn't jump at being the object of a beautiful woman's desire? Add into it, I love you and everything about you." He leaned over to whisper into her ear. "I'm fucking hard right now just thinking about your hands on me."

Bella gasped at his words. Edward peppered enough smut into their conversations to keep it real. Had he treated her with kid gloves, it would have felt odd. That he felt comfortable telling her that she turned him on, helped to normalize this for her. If she'd been brave enough, she would reach over to test his statement. It truly was one of the first things she wanted to do to him . . . hold his cock and feel it.

"But I have to tell you, I want to touch you sooner than later, Bella. I want to taste you, to run my tongue across the top of your breast, to suck on your nipples."

She felt said parts pebble beneath her shirt, eager for him.

"And Marcus' suggestion about you masturbating? When was the last time you came, Bella?" Edward asked, breathing out across her skin.

She sucked in a loud gasp at the flick of his tongue against the curve of her shoulder. "Wet dreams, but I haven't touched myself since before I was taken prisoner."

Marcus had encouraged them to be bluntly honest about their desires and needs, to talk about sex, and the future, and to come up with safe words. It wasn't all he'd said. The man had given them homework about their relationship as well, but Bella was focused on sex, and Edward's mind was one-track for the moment.

"Bella, I would like to visit that adult novelty store you found after we leave here. Are you comfortable with the idea?"

"Green," she teased.

The whole safe word thing had caused more than a few laughs, but Marcus' glare had cut them off. He was deadly serious about it all, saying that to have the words to guide them would take a lot of the stress off during those moments.

Shaking his head, Edward stole a quick kiss. "I want to choose something for you," he said, bringing his hands to her face to run his thumb over her bottom lip. She didn't even flinch at his touch.

A thunk on the table made them jump apart, however. Henri had slapped a new basket of bread down.

"Stop torturing her, Edward. And Jude. We can feel the heat all the way over there." Henri pointed to where his lover waved, his face a mixture of humor and lust. "You know he's always had it bad for you." He shook his head at Bella. "We tried, Isabella, but Edward always turned us down for a threesome. It could've been so good." He tsked in humor as he walked away.

Shock at Henri's words kept Bella silent and a high blush on her cheeks for some time into the meal. But they soon lost the battle and started snickering, which led to full laughter before they left the café with promises to be at Henri and Jude's home for the Sunday game, as planned.

As Bella smiled at him through the window, the glare of the sun distorted her face, and instead of the woman he loved, he saw his little brother grinning back at him with a gap-toothed smile.

" _Where we going, Edwad?" Jamie had been butchering Edward's name since he lost both of his top teeth._

 _Edward could hear Emmett and Jasper arguing inside the house about who was going to ride shotgun beside their father. Edward didn't mind getting in back with Jamie; they could play the slug-bug game on the way to see Uncle Aro._

 _And while the journey was always fun, it was getting to the destination—Uncle Aro's— that was always the best. The man had this big, old house. When he'd been younger, Edward had been convinced the house was haunted; they'd even found several hidden doors and narrow passageways. Uncle Aro had told Jasper, Emmett, and him the house had been built at the turn of the century, and that it had been rumored it had served as part of the underground during prohibition. The thought of the house being a den of criminals and gun-toting gangsters had always made the Cullen boys excited. Even as old as he was, Edward still loved hiding out in the tunnels with Jamie and banging on the walls to spook everyone._

" _Somewhere special, Jamie-bug," he answered his brother's question._

 _Jumping up and down on the back seat, Jamie squealed._

The memory faded, and as Edward saw Bella smiling back at him, he thought about the journey ahead of them. And then he thought of the destination . . . his forever.

"Definitely somewhere special," Edward whispered.

~Honor~

AN:

So, a couple of things here.

As to the use of the name Velathri – I did some research years ago on the town Volterra when I was writing my post Breaking Dawn story. Although the town is now known as Volterra, it was called Velathri during the time of the Etruscans. If my historical research is correct, Aro (plus Marcus and Caius) would've been turned during the reign of the Etruscans, so I've always called them Velathri in my head instead of Volturi (when writing all-human fics). I think either is just fine, but it is my anal research stuff that makes me OCD.

This also applies to the use of the term guide dog for Sasha. The agencies I researched all seem to use Guide Dog as an overall term, then differentiate between Guide Dogs, Assistance Dogs, Veteran Dogs, or Autism Guide Dogs.

And lastly – why oh why did I have to put Aro as the uncle in the first chapter. I really wanted to make him the therapist here, but alas, I ruined the opportunity in the original one-shot. Imagine all the "Masters of Sex" jokes I could've pulled. Sigh . . .

HOPE you have a great week.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story.

content1 = utter fail on review replies. I've been writing, attempting to bring this chapter to you. However, I want you to know that I appreciate each and every one.

~Honor~

"You go first," Bella said to Edward. A blush covered her face.

Edward grinned at her, but he wasn't about to tease about her shyness. Marcus had instructed them to return home and spend several hours apart answering the questions he'd given them. He'd made them promise to share the answers between them before anything further happened physically.

"Okay, question one. Three things I want my partner to promise, no matter what life throws us." He settled back against the cushions of Bella's couch. "Fidelity. If you were to ever become bored of me, or us, if things were to ever get too bad that you couldn't stand to remain with me, just say so. It doesn't mean I wouldn't fight for us, try to figure out what I did wrong and fix it. But going to another for love, seeking comfort outside of our relationship would be difficult for me to recover from."

"Secondly, a thought-out plan around finances. I've seen too many of my friends' relationships fall apart over squabbles around money. I'd suggest we visit a financial adviser to develop a plan. My mom and dad have one main account for the house and family, but they also agreed long ago to have a percentage of their discretionary income set aside in separate accounts so they had money to splurge."

Edward snickered. "My dad told me recently the only expenses he ever spent out of his was buying my mom presents and going out to lunch with friends." He shrugged and looked slightly embarrassed.

"What?" Bella asked.

"The last one sounds silly, but . . . a plan for our responsibilities at home."

"Huh?" Her brow furrowed.

"I've learned a lot from my parents, but my brothers have taught me as well. Rose made Emmett sit down and sign a contract about his duties at home. It would seem her dad was a real asshole and thought a woman's place was in the home and under his fist. It took a lot for Emmett to convince Rose to marry him, and she was very good about setting limits. Alice did the same for Jasper, and I would want the same with you. I want to understand what you mean by a clean bathroom, because your and my definitions might be different."

"Wow, really?" She snickered.

"Think about it Bella, how many arguments in a marriage are over the little things? If we define them, maybe we can eliminate lots of the pressure points."

She nodded. "No, I agree. I've just never thought about it that way. Seeing your place, I suspect you'll be the one getting agitated with me about how clean a shared space needs to be."

Shaking his head at her, Edward said, "Okay, you next."

Taking a deep breath, she unfolded the piece of paper she'd been clenching in her hands.

"I also put faithfulness as one of my three. My mother's actions tore my family apart. As a child I loved her, because she was my mother, but it was hard for me to understand how my father ever allowed her back into our home. As I've grown older, his actions then have only made me grow to respect him more as a man."

"Secondly, and I can't believe I put this here, because I know you already, but no violence. It was a deal breaker for me before, but definitely now." Her hands shook. "Charlie is the most laid-back man I've ever known, so much so it's hard for me to imagine him even getting physical with the criminals he arrests. So, I have a very good image of a man who settles things through words, not actions."

"Has someone hit you before, Bella?" Edward's voice was harsh, and she watched the fire rage in his eyes.

"No." She quickly added. "I went out with this guy a couple of times in college. I dumped him though, because there was always this niggling feeling in my stomach. He was charming, rich, and good looking, but there was just something that made me keep my distance. He was arrested a couple of years later for raping his girlfriend after beating her. His parents were wealthy, and they put up a good fight, but they still lost. He was killed in jail when he tried to pick on someone bigger than him."

Concerned by the anger in his face, Bella reached out and took his hand, squeezing gently, while she pinched his chin between her fingers, making him meet her eyes.

Edward took a deep breath. "Geez. Give me a minute, Bella. I'm reeling with the thought someone hurt you before. I have enough rage over what was done to you when you were imprisoned." He took several deep breaths to calm. "I don't think you fully understand the depths of my hate toward those men. For a moment, when I thought there was someone here . . . someone I could get my hands on . . ." He shrugged. "I saw a very different me in a vision of what I would do to him. Someone you might need to be afraid of."

She shook her head. "No, that's being protective, not selfish. Any man would feel that way about someone he loved."

Still engaged in the internal debate of doctor/savior over avenger, Edward leaned into her side when she released his face and scooted closer.

"Third, a hands-on father," Bella read off her list. "Mine is going to be a tough act to follow."

Edward grinned broadly. "I love babies, Bella. Love them. And I love toddlers and pre-teens and teenagers." He nudged her gently. "Give me kids, and I swear by all that is holy you'll never see a more involved father. I want at least two little girls who look exactly like you."

Bella's mouth went dry at the desire in his face.

"Hopefully, you'll give me a few years so I can work my way to a better shift at the emergency room so I can be home more to help. If not, we'll have plenty of help from my family."

Bella gasped. "How soon do you want children?"

Edward smiled softly. "Well, I think we have a ways to go yet, including getting married."

She took a deep breath and chuckled as she realized she'd overreacted. "Wow, that was a big first question."

"You need a break?" Edward asked.

"No, I'm fine. I see why Marcus said these questions would be harder than we'd expect."

"Yeah. How about something to drink or a snack?"

"No, I'm still good from the feast Henri fed me. But since you were brave enough to go first, I'll go next with the second question."

He smirked at her, remembering the "volunteering" a little differently.

Shifting in the seat, Bella said, "What's your biggest fear?" Biting her lip, she made a soft humming sound. "When I thought about this, the easiest answer was that I wouldn't recover, but I don't think that's what Marcus wanted me to focus on. I think this is more about my life as a whole, not the last year."

Edward nodded. He'd wondered how Bella would answer this exact question. He was grateful she'd thought beyond the brutality of what had happened.

"So, in considering the question as a whole, I think my biggest fear is finding something productive to do with the rest of my life. I want to fly again, but the likelihood of that is not as strong as I'd like. It's all I've ever wanted to do, and now my future is looming unknown on the horizon."

Edward watched tears gather in her eyes and wondered how he'd feel if suddenly he was told he couldn't practice medicine any longer.

"The VA has a job retraining program, but I'm not ready to give up on passing a fitness test."

"Do you want to fly for a private corporation or for the airlines?"

"I think private. After flying a supersonic jet, it would feel like I was driving a school bus if I got behind the controls of a 747."

"Have you contacted the authorities to determine what it would take to gain your commercial pilot's license?"

"Yeah, when I was in the hospital. I have enough hours and certifications, but I have to pass the physical."

"Then gaining your strength and dexterity back will serve more than one purpose," he said.

"What was your answer?" Bella asked.

It was a clear deflection from further talk about her career plans, which was fine. Marcus has said this wasn't an exercise in solving their problems, but more of a way of really getting to know one another.

"Like you, there's an easy answer and a not so easy answer. I fear failing at being a trauma surgeon after all the years I've put into school and internships. I've got some pretty big shoes to fill considering my father's legacy, so while it is a fear, it's also a challenge at the same time. But I guess a bigger fear is that I spent so much time becoming a doctor I've forgotten who Edward was. Jamie accused me of that exact thing the last few times he was home. He said I needed to get a life."

For a moment, they remained silent, both caught up in memories of the man who'd brought them together.

"Okay, my third question. What do I see as the next step in our relationship?" Edward waggled his eyebrows at Bella, causing her to laugh out loud. "Okay, okay, I have a serious answer. I think I've laid my cards on the table as to what I want for our future, so I think our next step is to continue what we've been doing. Take the steps you feel comfortable with, when you feel comfortable. My immediate goal is to get to sleep beside you."

Bella's eyes widened. "Really? It's not to do something sexual?"

"Not next." His grin was decidedly wolfish, which caused heat to bloom across Bella's cheeks.

"How do you do that? I'm not some eighteen-year-old virgin, but you make me blush like one."

He started laughing before he responded. "Just wait until I get ahold of you. I'm going to give you a lot of things to blush about."

Pursing her lips at his threats, Bella tried hard to keep from grinning, but lost. "Okay, so it would interest you to know my next step was also for us to sleep together."

Edward jolted when she laid her hand on his thigh. The heat of her palm seared him through his well-worn jeans.

"You know we've been very good students, answering Marcus' questions and talking, like he suggested." Bella's voice had gone husky. She squeezed his thigh slightly.

"Wait . . ." his voice croaked " . . .exactly what kind of sleeping together did you mean."

"Me, you, and my bed."

He relaxed slightly until she rose and straddled him. Shock held Edward silent.

"Put your arms along the back of the couch."

He complied immediately and shuddered as Bella leaned forward. Eyes rolling back into his head, Edward slumped back in bliss when she took his lips, licking his bottom one before she bit into it softly. For a few moments, they consumed each other, tasting, tongues twisting together frantically. Moaning, Edward fought to keep his hands still.

"Edward, do I need to get the handcuffs?"

"No," he sighed in a greedy manner against her lips. "Come closer," he challenged her before capturing her kiss again.

Bella scooted forward, pulling up snug to him. Softness aligned with rigidity and the moans torn from them both were greedy. Not enough…it wasn't enough. The fire sparked, roaring through their veins. Bella's breasts pillowed against Edward's chest, and he could feel her nipples harden against him. When he trembled against the need to wrap his arms around her and take control, it caused Bella to arch against him.

"How I want you," she said harshly, breaking from him to catch her breath. "I ache…deep down inside," she murmured, nipping along his jaw.

Instinct would have Edward grabbing her hips, but her prior command held him as securely as any chains she could've used. Opening his eyes, he watched as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt, skimming her fingertips over the skin she exposed. Gone was the hesitancy she'd shown before, and Edward was panting by the time she finished her exploration.

"Bell…" Edward gasped as her hand lowered to the top of his jeans.

The only other sound was his surprised shout of pleasure as her hand brushed over his denim clad erection. Captured by the demand in her eyes, Edward remained still, his gaze focused solely on hers as she traced him. His eyes darkened to almost black as she continued to explore, testing and teasing. He watched as her pupils enlarged, and a fine mist of sweat broke out on her forehead. Her skin grew rosy, and he could hear her breath growing ragged. Their arousal was sweet on the air, surrounding them, soaking into their pores. Lust taunted him, demanding he move against her hand and seek relief from the relentless need.

Finally, as the fire blazed dangerously, licking at his self-control and tightening his muscles to a fine line, he gruffly said, "Yellow."

Bella pulled her hand away immediately, and his head collapsed back on the cushions of the couch.

"I need a minute," he groaned when she arched an eyebrow in question. "I'm not sure I'm strong enough to keep my hands still. You've reduced me to that already."

Bella's grin was part mischief, part victory. ""Do you know how long I've wanted to touch you?" she whispered. "I want to take you in my mouth and taste you…"

The image was too potent, too lurid, and Edward's self-control faltered, his hips moving slightly against her. Bella's breath caught, but she didn't pull away. She was sin incarnate - the slant of her eyes, the blush of her lust, lips swollen and pouty as she watched him.

"If we're going any further, I need you to restrain me, Bella." He groaned as the devilish look on her face darkened with desire at the thought. "Is that what you truly want, right now?"

"Yes. I want you spread-eagled on your bed when I get to your apartment. Boxers only," she instructed him.

She only moved off of him when he gave her a nod of understanding. Slowly rising to his feet, Edward kept his arms to his side as he moved away from her. As soon as he closed the door, Bella leapt into action, moving swiftly toward the bag of goodies they'd purchased together at the shop.

Marcus had insisted they separate the spaces where they would experiment sexually from Bella's bedroom. His explanation was that when something went wrong, because he'd insisted it would, Bella wouldn't have the association of a negative event where she needed to rest. Considering their goal of sleeping together, it would also disassociate, for a time, the two arenas of their struggles. Through mutual agreement, Edward's bedroom had been chosen as the "playroom," as Bella declared it, much to Marcus' glee.

After locking her door, Bella slid through the door he'd left slightly open into his loft. Silence greeted her as she walked through to his bedroom. It only served to make the gasp that escaped her when she saw him lying on his bed all that much louder. The boxer briefs he wore did little to hide his state of arousal, or his long, lean body. Bright green eyes tracked her across the floor as she balanced the weight of the bag she carried and delicately managed the cane.

Edward remained mute as she stopped beside him. Starting at the tip of his toes, she followed the line of his legs to his hips, then across his erection and chiseled stomach to his chest. From there, she grew fascinated with the strong line of his throat, and watched the bob of his Adam's apple as he swallowed. Electricity raced across her skin when she caught his gaze. It was entirely male, lust etching his face with heat. She dropped the bag onto the bed and when the metal inside clanked, Bella watched as goosebumps broke out across his skin.

He murmured something under his breath, and Bella reacted swiftly. "Shh . . ."

Edward slowly licked his lower lip before dragging his top teeth over the flesh. He didn't speak though, as ordered.

Opening the bag, Bella pulled out four leather straps. She and Edward had chosen them together, considering his bed. The cuffs were leather with soft padding underneath, and the length could be adjusted so various poses could be achieved, or so the saleswomen had explained. Bella just wanted to hold Edward securely.

For fun, she placed one over the ankle of his closest leg, allowing the leather to slide across his skin. When he moaned, she popped him slightly with it, the sound of it hitting him much more dramatic than the sting. The rush of power made Bella smile. Slowly walking around the bed, she allowed the next tie to drag over the sheet. She watched him carefully as the leather touched his leg and smiled softly as his lips parted. Bending one of the straps, she allowed the loop to trail up his leg and across his ribs.

It was when she stopped at the top of the mattress, she finally asked, "Edward, I need to know that you are still okay with this?"

He nodded.

Satisfied, she quickly fastened the leather around his wrist before attaching the strap to the headboard post. Black wood fashioned the two tall, square supports to his austere headboard, where shorter ones allowed the fasteners for his feet. Unknowingly, he'd chosen a bed more than a year ago which allowed them these moments. Bella didn't tease him any further, moving around to secure his feet and other arm.

Edward took deep breaths to find his center, but he was barely hanging on by a thread at the feel of the restraints. His cock ached, fueled by the light caresses she'd trailed across his skin. He'd almost come when she'd slapped the strap against his ankle; it took everything he had not to when he felt the bed shift. Groaning when he spotted the blindfold in her hand, he closed his eyes briefly.

"While you were talking to the woman about the massage lotions, the young man helped me with this. He believed it was important for me to understand the power of a blindfold."

He chuckled, but it wasn't a humorous sound. It was deep, harsh, and extremely needy.

She slowly inched across the bed, coming to rest with her good hip against his side. Legs draped to the side to relieve any pressure on her bad leg, she ran the black material through her fingertips. Smirking at the way his eyes had slanted and the trembling of his loosely bound arms, she continued. "He said when you lose your sight, even for a few moments, all the other senses work overtime to fill the void. Sound, smell, taste, touch."

Edward squirmed. Marcus had told them Bella had to be the first to have an orgasm. She needed to focus on her needs, and Edward was to help her in whatever way he could. Uncertain as to how it would play out before, he had a sneaking suspicion how it would now. She was going to drive him insane, if his suspicions were true.

"I really like this mask. Truly I do, but I think it would look better on you." Head slightly bowed, she glanced at him through her eyelashes. Slowly coming to her knees, Bella leaned over him.

He was certain the mask would serve to allow her the freedom to test her limits without the threat of him watching. Edward expected her to swiftly put it on, but instead she paused over him, supporting her weight with a hand to the side of his head.

She slowly brushed her fingertips across his right cheek. His eyes were such an intense green that Bella felt she could get lost in them for hours. There were times they reminded her of rain-drenched moss; at others, the finest of emeralds. Darkened with lust, they reminded her of the sea, churning with emotion, sucking at her, swirling with hidden depths. Brushing her thumb across his thick brows, she waited for him to close his eyes. When he did, she placed soft kisses to his lids, before journeying down his nose to nip the tip. Placing the eye mask on, she eased the elastic behind his head, securing it in place.

"I'm going to touch you now," she warned as she sat back beside him.

Edward did his best to remain still, but he couldn't control the heaving of his chest, or the twitch of his muscles as she moved a single fingertip over his lips, then down his neck, stopping on his sternum.

"You are so beautiful," she murmured.

Certainly beautiful wasn't a word often used for men, but Bella couldn't think of another word to describe him. Arms stretched above his head, the muscles in his broad shoulders and arms stood out in relief. Chiseled muscles continued across his chest, leading to a washboard stomach where fine golden-red hair followed the trail leading to his boxers. Bella's gaze skittered across the area covered by his boxers; it was clear that she would find him as defined there as well.

Bella allowed her fingertip to slowly glide over his skin toward his nipple, brushing over the hardened nub. A soft hiss of breath was Edward's only reaction as she traced the soft skin around it. Her mouth covered his, drinking in the sound as he sighed into the kiss. Bella poured every ounce of passion she felt into the caress before she traced his lips with the tip of her tongue. Leaning toward her, Edward begged silently for another kiss, but Bella nipped his lip in warning.

Relaxing back against the cool of his sheets, Edward waited for her next move. The anticipation heightened his senses, so when he heard the slide of material over skin, his imagination went wild. He'd imagined Bella naked at least a thousand times, wondered the color of her nipples, and when she blushed, whether the color reached down her chest and across her breasts. Not to be ignored, his thoughts about her sex were prolific. He fantasized about whether or not the red in her hair highlighted her pubic hair as well. He'd jacked-off to several lurid fantasies about watching his cock slide into her, his entry framed by her slick folds and dark auburn hair.

She shifted, and Edward couldn't control his gasp when he felt bare skin against him. But he went rigid when she straddled him.

"Fuck." The word tore out of him.

Sucking deep breaths in, he tried to control his reaction, but couldn't stop the slight roll of his hips. A sharp tug to his left nipple was meant as a warning, but it had the exact opposite reaction. The pain spread across his skin in a rush, electrifying him. It sank deep into his muscles and bones, making his cock leak against the thin cotton covering him.

Bella leaned down, capturing his cock between them and applying delicious pressure, but it was when her hardened nipples pressed against his chest that Edward grabbed the leather strap securing him, wrapping his fingers around the material in desperation.

He was about to start begging when her mouth covered his. The kiss was voracious and filled with longing. She was naked above him, and he could feel her moisture leaking down onto him. The heat between them lured him in, begging him to take her, but the restraints made the desire so much sharper. It wouldn't take much to set him over the edge. The touch of her hand, a moment or two of friction, a few more kisses.

When she broke her mouth from his, he was panting.

"Color?" she asked him.

"Green." Risking her displeasure, he asked, "You?"

She took a few moments to answer. "More yellow than green."

He felt her trembling. "Slow down, Bella."

"Just need a moment or two." She lazily kissed his jaw, but didn't move, leaving his cock caught between them, her chest pressed to his.

He groaned, attempting to control his reaction. "I can't wait to see you, touch you." He licked his lips. "Did you bring the vibrator with you?"

He felt her nod. Marcus had suggested that she use a vibrator to orgasm the first time. The feel of the metal would be significantly differently than a penis, the idea that Bella wouldn't be overwhelmed with the presence of flesh and be able to enjoy the experience.

His hands tightened around the straps again when she leaned back and put more pressure against him. She shifted slightly and the pressure had sweat breaking out across his forehead. With his sight gone and his limbs bound, all Edward could do was feel, and Bella's innocent caresses were playing his body like a musical instrument. The buzz of the vibrator turning on hardened him painfully. Bella shifted so that her wetness spread across him as she moved slightly lower, leaving the head of his cock resting below her clit.

Expecting her to move away, he shouted in desire when she brought the vibrator down on them both. Fireworks exploded behind his eyes as liquid fire rushed to his cock, drawing his balls up tight.

"Bella!" he screamed, as she rocked against him.

The blood rushing through his ears threatened to block out everything, but he froze when he heard a soft grunt of pleasure. A brush of the vibrating device across his head threatened again, but against all odds, he was able to pull back from the orgasm hovering within his reach. Soft moans, stuttered breaths, and the sound of wetness as the vibrator moved through her folds became his focus. Bella's hips pushed against him, her legs squeezing his hips as she rocked. He could imagine her swaying against him, her nipples hard and jutting out for him to taste. His cocked swelled torturously and his eyes rolled back into his head.

"Don't come yet, Edward," she ordered, her voice broken by a squeak of pleasure.

Fear he would disobey her made his heart race, but his harsh groan of agony couldn't compete with the needy sounds coming from her mouth. She rocked, while Edward barely hung on to a thread of sanity. Swamped by the need to fill her, Edward bit the inside of his lip to keep from exploding. He heard the deep catch in her breath a second before she screamed, her hand coming down on his chest, her fingers grasping at him as her hips jerked and rolled, riding out her orgasm.

"Bella!" Edward cried out when tears splashed down on his chest.

"So good," she whispered, eliminating his fear.

She shifted again, bringing the vibrator to trace over him. He growled in pleasure, but his control broke when Bella brushed it across his head. He'd been too primed to last long. With a soul-shattering flash of heat, he spilled in jerks into his boxers, his back arched so that he pressed against her. Awash with pleasure, it took a moment for Edward to realize Bella had frozen.

She moved far faster than she should, and Edward felt her hand at his wrist. The leather let loose as she moved off the bed.

"Bella?" He ripped the mask off in time to see her hobbling fast toward the door. Even the fine sight of her narrow waist and heart-shaped ass couldn't distract him from the fear. "Baby?" he swore out, reaching for his other wrist to loosen the binding.

"I need to get away," she called out, tears in her voice.

"I'm sorry I moved," he said loudly as she kept going and he reached for his leg.

"No. No, it was the smell. I need to get into the living room," she replied, her voice tight.

Edward worked frantically on the binding at his ankle while he questioned her statement. It was only when he leaned over to undo the last one that he realized what she meant. He'd come so hard the smell of his semen was strong.

Fuck.

Jumping up, he ran to the doorway to see her huddled on his couch, his sofa blanket wrapped around her.

"Baby?"

She smiled gently at him, but he saw her hands trembling. "I'm okay."

"Sure. I'll be there in a moment. I'm going to shower off."

Her lips curled up softly as she laid her cheek against the back of the couch.

It was the fastest shower of his life. Pulling on sweats as he walked, he paused in the doorway. "I'm going to come in now, okay?"

She giggled, patting a spot on the couch beside her.

He made a detour to the refrigerator to grab two bottles of water before following her direction. Holding out one to her, he waited patiently for her to talk.

"That was incredible." She grinned at him. "Fucking incredible."

"But—"

"But nothing. If I hadn't been overwhelmed by the smell . . ."

His cheeks felt hot, and she laughed out loud at his self-conscious expression. "Can I tell you how sexy you are?" she asked.

"Sexy but stinky?" he teased.

She leaned forward to capture his hand, pulling him closer. "No, it just took me by surprise. Jamie and I didn't have a lot of water to waste on cleaning up."

He let out a deep breath. Smell was the sense most associated with memories. It might take her some time to replace the negative connotation. "Jamie used to tease me about stinking."

Her tremulous smile encouraged him to continue the story.

"I ran track in high school, and my shoes were enough to clear any room. Jamie used them to his advantage when he wanted to torment anyone."

" _Carlisle, come get your son!" Esme screamed, then they heard the sound of her running and Jamie's laughter._

 _She charged into the living room where Edward, his dad, and brothers were watching a basketball game. A giggling six-year old towheaded Jamie followed her, one of Edward's running shoes dangling by a shoe string from his fingers as he chased her. Wisely, Jamie held his nose between the fingers of his other hand._

"He called me Stinkyward." Edward grinned, remembering just how many times Jamie had tortured their mom.

Bella laughed imagining Jamie doing just that. "Thank you for giving up control, Edward. I'm still reeling from how good that was." She turned slightly, so she could lean against him.

"I love you." She pressed a kiss below his ear.

"I love you too, baby."

Bella drank from her bottle, clutching the blanket around her. It took Edward's brain a few moments to process the situation.

"Bella, you're still naked aren't you?"

Her lips quirked, and she raised her eyebrow at him. "Yup."

He groaned, his head falling back against the couch while Bella giggled delightedly.

~Honor~

AN: Hope you enjoyed.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

Sorry for the week off, but life took over. Also, thanks to all who went over and voted for Mother Father in the TwiFanFiction recs poll. It came in fourth, which I was certainly surprised about! I was up against some very heavy hitters (friends included), so I'm surprised my little story made it through the voting. Thanks so much!

Just a transition chapter for our two characters, but I hope you enjoy! A couple of you predicted parts of this. Smile.

~Honor~

Edward woke to find Bella's fingertips brushing against his chest. She was sound asleep, her face pressed against the sheets at the edge of her bed. She'd turned sideways across the bed in order to drop her arm down onto him where he rested on the travel cot they'd set up.

Baby steps.

They'd fallen asleep talking to each other, telling stories from their childhood and teenage years. As embarrassing as it had been, Edward had admitted to losing his virginity on prom night his junior year to a girl named Mallory. Bella had almost died laughing when he'd admitted it had taken all of a minute. She'd confessed that Charlie had found her with her prom date, a cousin of Jacob's, just before the deed could be sealed. Jared was his name, and he'd never come back around after Charlie threatened him.

It had been a great night, one uninhibited by nightmares and demons.

Edward turned on his side, so he could watch her sleep. Wondering if she would think him a stalker if she woke to find him staring at her, he decided he was willing to take the risk.

Elegantly sprawled across the bed, she looked like a goddess against the deep red of the sheets. Her dark hair swirled around her face in a chaotic mess, and her pale skin was luminous in contrast. The fine scar on her face stood out in relief against the cream of her complexion, and relaxed in sleep, her lush lips were slightly parted.

She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

The bravest, too.

Their experimentation had perhaps been too soon, but Marcus had encouraged them to go along with the moments when they presented, using their safe words to protect them. Now that they were on the other side, Edward had such a sense of satisfaction with how it had turned out. Bella had been particularly spunky after their play, even dropping the sofa blanket she'd wrapped around her when she pranced back through his bedroom door to get dressed. The image of her toned ass swaying delicately would stay with him for many years to come, but it was the come-hither smile over her shoulder that told Edward everything was fine.

"Hey handsome," Bella mumbled, tickling her fingers against his chest.

"Morning." He smiled, thinking how adorable she was with sleepy brown eyes.

"Did you sleep well?" She yawned, pushing her hair back as she sat up.

"Yes." The cot was a lot more comfortable than many of the places he'd crashed between surgeries. He hadn't quite learned how to sleep standing up, but he'd mastered sleeping in a chair. Stretching, he worked out the few kinks.

"I'm all yours today and tomorrow," she teased.

"Well, you're mine today. Henri and Jude are going to hog you tomorrow." He tried to keep the whiney tone out of his voice, but wasn't sure how successful he was.

She laughed, letting him know he'd failed. "So, what are your nefarious plans for me?"

"Well, I didn't have anything that fun planned, but if you need my services . . ." He raised his eyebrow and smirked at her.

"Tonight, my slave." She sniffed, looking down her nose at him like a pampered queen.

Inordinately pleased at her playfulness and the total lack of fear, Edward sat up and captured her lips quickly. It was the fastest he'd moved around her, and he groaned in satisfaction when she didn't jerk away. Slowly, he slid his hand up her arm to warn her, settling it around the curve of his neck when she didn't struggle. Lust demanded he curl his fingers around her and hold her tightly, but the rational part of him won the fight. Feathering his fingers across her skin, he pulled back.

"I'm going to take a shower and then cook us some breakfast. Come join me when you're done getting ready. I want to get to the Pacific Science Center early, if that's okay? My source says the butterflies are more active during the morning."

"Sure thing," she replied, rubbing her eyes before she stretched.

~Honor~

A peacock butterfly floated gracefully down, landing on Edward's shoulder where it lazily flapped in the bright sun. The red of its wings contrasted with the green of his shirt, the bronze color of his hair reflecting in the creature's fiery colors.

Bella giggled at the sight. The latest addition joined a Monarch and another bright yellow species they couldn't name, even though they'd spent hours going through the exhibits before stepping into the butterfly house. Edward, it would seem, was butterfly heroin. Bella watched as the Monarch reached out with its proboscis to touch him, as if tasting his skin.

"Sugar daddy," Bella teased him, and Edward blushed.

He'd been a magnet for the butterflies since they'd stepped into the hothouse where the Science Center cultivated the bright insects. One girl, from a visiting elementary school group, had cried because none of the creatures would land on or around them. Embarrassed, Edward had attempted to place one of the insects onto her arm, but the fickle thing had flown away.

"I'm actually jealous of an insect. Do you realize how petty that makes me feel?" Bella snickered as another butterfly landed, clinging to his brow. She decided this one had to be a female, because it stroked Edward. "I think it is your cologne. I know it makes me want to lick you."

His grin held a secret, but before Bella could question him, one of the workers approached.

"Sir, we'll have to remove the butterflies before you can leave." The eagerness was entirely too bright in her eyes.

Holding his hands out to the side, Edward allowed the girl to remove the creatures gently.

Too gently, in Bella's opinion.

She thought the young woman took a little too much time with the ones at his neck and on his face . . . that her fingers brushed his skin a little too often as she tried to "carefully" get the butterfly to crawl onto her finger.

Bella was about to push up from her wheelchair when Edward gently shooed the last one away.

"Thank goodness none of them landed on your crotch. I'm certain she would've given you a hand job before she could've dislodged the trespasser," Bella muttered when the girl finally walked away.

He was wise enough not to even chuckle as he pushed her through the door. Once they were safely into the glass-enclosed atrium, he leaned over. "Just so you know, my dick would've crawled up inside me if she'd gotten anywhere close. You on the other hand . . . all you have to do is look at me and I'm locked and loaded."

Giggling at his words, she smirked. "Locked and loaded, huh?"

"Primed and ready."

She was unable to keep the laughter from spilling out at the banter.

Grinning at her reaction, he rolled her toward the café. "So here is where you get to decide the rest of the day. At some point, I need to go by the hospital to pick up something, but the rest is up to you. We could get a pretzel and drinks to snack on then go see what's playing at the IMAX theatre, grabbing supper later. Or, we grab some lunch now at the café and go to the movie later." He shrugged. "Or something entirely different – lady's choice."

Bella pursed her lips. She'd spent most of the time in the exhibits utilizing her cane, only resorting back to the wheelchair when her muscles were screaming. "If it wasn't so cold, I'd say we go down to the Pier and cruise the novelty shops. Unfortunately, I think I've overdone it. Would it hurt your feelings if I opted for us to go back home and fix something to eat there and watch movies?"

Edward leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "I'd say the idea sounded perfect. We're going to be out most of the day tomorrow going to Henri and Jude's, so some time to ourselves sounds wonderful."

Stopping at a local fish market, they picked up fresh salmon and shrimp that Edward stored in a small styrofoam cooler. Within minutes, they pulled into the parking lot at the hospital.

"I can wait in the car," Bella offered, but Edward shook his head.

"Absolutely not, I want to show you off."

Glancing down to the jeans and sweater she'd thrown on, Bella wished she'd dressed up more. He didn't give her time to worry much, helping steady her as she moved from the car and lowered to the wheelchair again.

The emergency room was quiet when Edward guided her into his home away from home. An older nurse sat behind the main station, lording over the other minions as Edward brought Bella to a stop. When the woman looked up and saw Edward, a big smile destroyed the austere look her steely grey hair, bright blue eyes, and almost unlined face had previously held.

"Little Doc," she said in a voice that sounded like it had smoked a thousand cigarettes. She stood, moving around the desk to look at Bella better. "Tell me this is the young lady you've been going on and on about."

Bella grinned, already liking the woman.

"She is," Edward chuckled. "Bella, this is Adeline. She's the head nurse in ER and the woman who keeps me in my place. Addie, this is my Bella."

Adeline patted Edward's cheek. "This little one just needs to be broken in first, then he can follow in his daddy's footprints. It only took me a couple of years to get Carl settled in for Esme. That woman has the patience of a saint."

Addie held her hand out toward Bella, and for a moment the awkwardness began, but Bella worked through the initial fear to stretch hers forward. Addie's handshake was short and sweet, allowing no time for the contact to set off alarms. It had always been easier for Bella with women, but she never knew when something would go horribly wrong.

"Addie couldn't make Jamie's funeral or the party afterward, because she had to work. Otherwise, you would've met her then," Edward explained. "She's been a family friend for years."

"Edward's protector too, since Esme told me about you," Addie said with a twinkle in her eye. "Although, seeing you, I can't imagine any of the pretty, young fillies around here who've been jockeying for position have a moment's chance of capturing our boy's eye."

Bella detected a slight southern accent when Addie spoke. It added to the woman's warmth. Although, that image was almost destroyed when she barked out an order to a young nurse lingering at the desk. The woman scurried away quickly. When Addie turned back to Edward and Bella, her demeanor shifted from dictator back to ally quickly.

"What brings you down here on your day off?" she asked Edward.

"I need to pick up something from Brian, then Bella and I are going back to the house for an evening of cooking and movies." He pulled his phone out, sending a quick message.

"Edward took me to the butterfly exhibit this morning," Bella said in explanation as to why they were in the area while he finished.

"Mike and I love going there with the grandbabies." Addie nodded, then jumped when a patient alert sounded out. "Duty calls."

"It was nice to meet you," Bella said quickly and got a wink from the woman.

"You too. I'll keep him straight here at work for you, Bella."

"Thanks," Bella called out as Addie turned and Edward grumbled behind her. "Little Doc?" she teased as he pressed the button for the elevator.

"Dad is Big Doc." He grinned. "I think Addie was here when they opened the hospital in the 1900s."

Bella swatted his thigh while he laughed.

When they exited the elevator, Bella glanced up to the signs. "The morgue?"

"Don't worry, we aren't going in. My friend, Brian, is here. That's who I texted, so he should be waiting for us."

Sure enough, a young red-haired man stood outside the doors. He glanced up from his phone when he heard them talking. His eyes widened when he saw Bella, a bright blush making his freckles stand out. He reminded her of a grown up version of the kid on the MAD magazines.

"Ed . . .ward," he stuttered, his eyes jerking away from Bella.

"Hey Brian. This is Bella," Edward acknowledged with a nod.

The man awkwardly handed Edward a brown paper bag, then tugged at his ear. Bella couldn't help but smile at his shyness.

"Hey Brian, it is nice to meet you."

The man went beet red and lunged back through the morgue door, leaving Edward and Bella alone. Whistling softly, Edward shook his head.

"I was hoping he wouldn't freak out. I warned him I was bringing you."

"Warned him?" Bella's voice was sharp.

"Brian has Asperger's. He is the most brilliant man I know when it comes to blood spatter and crime scene analysis, but . . ." he nudged his shoulder toward the door " . . . relationships, not so much. He works for the local police department as a crime scene investigator, but he hangs out with our medical examiner and the dead when he isn't working."

"Sorry I embarrassed him."

Edward smirked at her. "Embarrassed? Hmm . . . I wouldn't use that word."

She smacked his jean clad leg again.

Edward made only one other stop before they got home, grabbing Milk Duds, Twizzlers, and popcorn at the twenty-four hour supercenter. And while he kept the brown paper bag from the hospital a mystery, he handed over the newest one to Bella quickly. She'd rested in the car when he went in, so she was curious to see what he'd gotten. Pulling out several action movies she found in with the candy, she held them up to him with a questioning look.

"I missed seeing them in the theatres. I'm not proposing we watch any of those," he said quickly. "I've got NetFlix and Pay-per-View that we can choose something from."

"I don't mind any of these," she replied, noticing at least one she'd also wanted to see.

Edward's eyes widened. "I didn't know if the violence might be too much, particularly the one about the war."

Bella wanted to immediately say that seeing depictions of war wouldn't cause her to freak out, but couldn't. As long as there were no scenes of rape, she felt there was a possibility of her being able to enjoy the flick.

She held up one particular movie that had Hollywood's celebrated bad-boy decked out in ripped fatigues and no shirt on the jacket. It was one in a string of zombie apocalypse movies that had recently made a ton of money at the box office. "This one looks good."

Bella snickered when Edward rolled his eyes. "Allie and Rose both like him, too."

"There's not much to not like," she teased, but tempered it by placing her hand on his thigh and squeezing slightly. "He doesn't hold a candle to you, though."

"Sure." He chuckled. "I'd have to draw those type of abs on."

Bella shrugged. "But he doesn't have your fuck-hawt hair and green eyes. Trust me, long and lean does it for me better than steroid city."

To emphasize her statement, Bella leaned over, stealing a scalding kiss. Edward nipped her lower lip when she released her hold on his hair and pulled away. Against the odds, the slight spike of pain thrilled her, leaving Bella to ponder the peace she felt as he drove them home.

Cooking their meal was an exercise in playfulness. Bella seasoned the seafood and salmon, while Edward threw together a salad. While they prepared the food, Bella stole several quick kisses, bumping Edward out of the way with her hips when she needed space. While Bella made rice pilaf, Edward fashioned kabobs with chunks of vegetables, the shrimp, and pineapple pieces. He placed them on the electric grill with the salmon. Turning on the exhaust fan so the smoke was pulled out of the room, Edward grinned at Bella's astonished look.

"I love to grill, but during the winter, it's just too cold. I learned this little trick in college. It's not as good as a being outside, but it's close." He moved to the refrigerator, pulling a bottle of white wine out. "I noticed you haven't taken your pain medication in several days." He held up the bottle, shaking it slightly at her.

At Bella's nod, he poured two glasses, handing her one. The vintage was slightly sweet with a crisp taste. It was perfect. It had been so long since she'd had anything alcoholic that she savored the refreshing liquid as it rolled across her tongue. Stretching her neck, she sighed as it popped, feeling all stress leave her shoulders and neck.

"This is exceptionally good," she said of the cool wine.

He hummed his agreement, reaching to flip the kabobs.

"You know, I would have been as happy with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

Edward spun at her words.

" _You're not making it right, Bubba. You have to put the jelly on the right side and the peanut butter on the left. It tastes wrong if you put them on the opposite side." Jamie's bright blue eyes shone with sincerity as he chastised Edward._

 _Between them, on the picnic table, was the making of a peanut butter and jelly feast. Red Kool-Aid, mixed in a large clear pitcher, sparkled in the sun beside several bags of chips._

" _No problem. I'll eat this one since I messed it up," Edward agreed, taking a big bite out of the sandwich before putting two new pieces of bread on Jamie's plate. Carefully, he spread jelly on the bread to the right while he chewed._

" _I'm scared," Jamie said softly, his focus on Emmett and Jasper as they threw a football between them._

 _They both laughed as Emmett flexed his muscles, posing for the red-head girl who ogled him._

 _Shaking his head at his older brother's showing off, Edward asked, "Of?" He picked up the Jif jar, making sure to put the peanut butter on heavy for Jamie, just like he liked it._

" _What if I choke this afternoon, and I don't place?"_

 _Jamie had been riding Motocross bikes for several years, but this was the first time he'd made it to the finals._

" _Then you'll try again," Carlisle said, sitting beside his youngest son and wrapping his arm around Jamie's shoulders. "You're up against the best of the best. To even be there is a serious honor."_

" _But . . ."_

" _No buts, Jamie. Anything in life you earn comes with a cost. Most often, it's hard work and the bitter taste of defeat at times. Perseverance forms more champions than you know. Look at the stats for basketball or baseball champions. Very few score more often than not. Society focuses on triumphs, but life focuses on failures. It's how you get up and dust yourself off that counts more than how you act when the winner's spotlight is on you."_

 _Edward watched his little brother nod, as if their father had given him the most important lesson in life, before Jamie wrapped his arms around Carlisle in a hug._

Perseverance.

Edward secretly grinned as he watched Bella walk slowly to the refrigerator where they'd put the salad to chill. She made the distance without her cane. They were both facing life's perseverance challenge head-on, she in her recovery, and him in his wooing of her.

"You know, since we're eating this as a late lunch/early supper, I'm going to count my Twizzlers and popcorn as the third meal. I might steal yours. Just saying," Bella teased as she ate a small bite of salmon.

Edward pinched his lip between his thumb and index finger. "I might let you have my popcorn, but there'll be a cost." He grinned evilly.

"Cost?" Bella arched her eyebrow at him before taking a small sip of her wine.

"Yup. I'm thinking a kiss."

"For stealing the popcorn?"

He harrumphed. "Are you kidding? No. A kiss for each kernel."

Bella's delighted laughter surrounded them. "You're greedy."

Edward smirked. "For you? Yes."

Clean-up was quick, and it was only when they sat on the couch to start the movie that Edward handed Bella the brown bag. "Open it."

Doing so, Bella brought out a box of condoms and two small white jars. "Okay?"

They'd already held the conversation about birth control and diseases, so she held the condom box up in confusion.

"Last night, while you were sleeping, I started thinking about the whole Stinkyward issue. A couple of solutions came to mind. I could wear condoms, which should help contain the smell somewhat, but then I remembered something Brian had joked about recently." He reached for one of the jars, twisting the top off gently. Bella smelled menthol when he did. "He can't use the commercial Mentholatum because he is allergic to it, so he makes his own."

"Mentholatum?" Bella didn't know the word.

"The stuff they put under their nose at crime scenes to help with the smell."

"Oh!" Bella squeaked.

"This is his version." He handed her the small jar.

The salve was clear, but the smell of menthol was strong.

"He told me that he halved the strength for you."

"You told him what was going on?" she gasped out.

"No." He snickered. "I just explained I needed some."

"What's that one?" she asked.

He looked down, his eyebrows drawing together. A faint blush of color highlighted his cheekbones. He was embarrassed, she realized.

"Well, I thought of something else and texted him in the middle of the night. So, um, this must be the version he came up with."

Bella opened the last jar and the smell of Edward's cologne filled her senses. Desire raced across her skin, making her nipples pebble and her sex clench. She felt like one of Pavlov's dogs after classic conditioning . . . the smell of Edward bringing on a wave of lust instantly . . . and possibly some drooling. Lifting it to her nose, she groaned.

"How did he get your cologne?" She eyed Edward like a snack.

He chuckled. "I keep some in my locker at the hospital. I told Brian to grab it from there."

Smoothing her pinkie across the slick gel-like substance in the jar, she brought it to her nose, rubbing at the skin above her upper lip. Edward's essence filled her, sinking into her pores and making her head swim. Eyes slanted in desire, Bella grabbed for his shirt, pulling him toward her.

"Bella?" he questioned as she kissed the corner of his mouth.

"I really want to touch you. Now, not later. I need to do this."

"Touch me?" His voice was a croak.

She nodded, their cheeks brushing against each other as she did.

"Can we go to your apartment?" she asked, her breath rushing across his earlobe as she did.

She felt him shudder against her. "Of course."

Standing, she held her hand out to him, smiling when he didn't hesitate to link their fingers and follow.

~Honor~

AN: I truly didn't mean to be a cock-block, but I needed to get through some dating time before they try intimacy again.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

Sorry for the week delay, all I can say for an excuse is "Life." I should be back to the weekly postings now. I've included a short section of the ending of the last chapter to just remind you of where we left off.

~Honor~

 _Smoothing her pinkie across the slick gel-like substance in the jar, she brought it to her nose, rubbing at the skin above her upper lip. Edward's essence filled her, sinking into her pores and making her head swim. Eyes slanted in desire, Bella grabbed for his shirt, pulling him toward her._

" _Bella?" he questioned as she kissed the corner of his mouth._

" _I really want to touch you. Now. Not later. I need to do this."_

" _Touch me?" His voice was a croak._

 _She nodded, their cheeks brushing against each other as she did._

" _Can we go to your apartment?" she asked, her breath rushing across his earlobe as she did._

 _She felt him shudder against her. "Of course."_

 _Standing, she held her hand out to him, smiling when he didn't hesitate to link their fingers and follow._

~Honor~

Bella led Edward to his bed and backed him against it so that he sat, legs open wide. Slowly, she moved to stand between his outstretched limbs.

His green eyes turning dark, Edward waited for her first move and sighed into the kiss she gave him. It was odd to smell his cologne so heavily. It wasn't overwhelming, but a momentary distraction from the taste of her lips. When her fingers threaded through his hair, pulling at the strands, he groaned.

Her touch electrified him, whether it was a simple kiss or a hair-pulling fucking of their mouths. This was somewhere in between, and he savored her touch as she explored him. Grinning when she nipped the corner of his lips, he couldn't control the shudder of pleasure that rocked him.

"The bag with the restraints is in the closet," he said softly as she rubbed her cheek along his.

"Okay."

Edward adjusted his dick through the denim of his jeans while she retrieved their playthings. He couldn't remember being so turned on, even when he was fourteen and Emmett had snuck him the first Playboy to jack off with. To be so controlled by another's whims would have likely scared many people, but Edward shifted calmly against the soft cushioning of his mattress. The mere slip of a woman approaching him held his future in her hands . . . and he was frankly okay with that.

Bella placed the black exercise bag down beside him, placing the container of cologne infused gel on top.

"I owe Brian big time. You'll have to tell me how I can properly thank him."

Edward grinned at her. "I think you smiling at him was enough, unless you know some really great, shy, geeky girl needing to find her true love."

Bella grinned at Edward's statement, twisting her lips with a "Hmm… I'll work on that. But right now, I'd prefer to focus on you."

Edward's chest swelled with the breath he took, and he gasped as he felt Bella's fingertips tickling around the hem of his shirt against his clenching stomach muscles.

"Off," she muttered, pulling the fabric up and Edward shifted with her, making it easier for her to peel the cotton away from him. The discarded shirt fluttered over Bella's shoulder with a precise flick of her wrist.

She purred as she pressed her palm to his chest, dragging her fingertips through the fine hair she followed down across his stomach. His dick jumped in anticipation. But true to form, she decided to torture him a little more. She leaned over, placing her lips over the place where his heart pounded against his chest.

"You are so beautiful," she murmured against his skin, causing a bark of laughter to jolt from him.

"You know, a man could feel insulted by those words."

She hummed against his nipple, causing him to shake and his hands to clench into the bed covers. "No, you'll take them exactly as I mean them; a compliment. Because you fucking turn me on, and that is the most beautiful thing in the world," she whispered against him before she licked his nipple and took the tight nub in her mouth.

Edward gave a short shout at her movement, arching so that he pressed against her. She bit him slightly before letting go, and his chest heaved in response.

"What do you need me to do?" he asked as her eyes moved over his face.

Reaching up to pull at his hair again, Bella leaned her forehead against his. "I'm going to lay the cuffs out. When I do, I want you to strip and then bind your feet and one arm. Leave the other unbound."

Edward shivered at the command, nodding solemnly.

He remained still as she attached the four restraints they'd previously used, laying them innocently against his cover before she grabbed the small white container. "I'm going to go stand by the door."

Bella moved slowly away, and Edward almost asked if she needed him to go get her cane, but didn't.

He waited until Bella leaned against the door frame to begin untying his tennis shoes and taking off his socks. Standing, he used his foot to slide them under the bed. The only thing remaining was his jeans and boxers. She'd said strip. She'd said she wanted to touch him. But she hadn't said he should be naked, so Edward watched her expression as he undid the button at the top of his jeans and slowly slid the denim off his raging erection and down his legs. With a grace he didn't know he had, he managed to remove his pants in a slow strip tease.

That Bella's lips parted and her breaths came into short pants as she watched was a victory for him. It soothed his nervousness.

She'd admired his sleek muscles the last time they'd been in Edward's bedroom, but to watch them move and stretch under his lightly golden skin was a beautiful dance. An erotic one.

She raised her eyebrow when he left his boxers and had to stifle a groan when his eyes widened at her reprimand. She saw his cock twitch under the material as Edward's gut sucked in. A hurricane couldn't have torn her eyes away as she watched him hook his thumbs under the waistband and slowly lower the fabric to the ground. He stepped out and kicked the material under the bed, but Bella only viewed his actions on the periphery of her sight. Her eyes were glued to his hard cock, which stood out against the toned muscles of his abdomen. Fingers of fear feathered at her nape, but she shifted slightly as if to brush the unwelcomed feeling away.

He was fucking perfect and absolutely as different from the men who'd abused her as night from day – well, except for the having a penis thing. She noted Edward's pale skin in contrast to the demons who had abused her and the soft scattering of his hair as it led in a path from his chest to his cock. Jerking her eyes to his, she saw the most important difference.

Love.

His green eyes blazed with desire and want, but the package of the man, including his dick, radiated serenity. He was up, literally, for whatever she needed, and he would wait for however long it took.

Power fed her at the realization, making her fingertips ache to touch him, her nipples to pebble, and her sex to clench. Sex . . . suddenly, using that innocuous word felt as if the men still had some power over her.

"Edward, what do you like to call a woman's vagina when you are having sex?"

Her question startled him as much as her, and she shivered in lust when his eyes dropped briefly to her crotch before jumping back to meet her gaze.

"Pussy." He appeared to blush and missed her slight jump as he did so.

She appreciated he was so bluntly honest, and the struggle to hear the word wasn't as hard as she'd thought it would be. "Say it again."

Lust radiated off him, brushing over her in waves. "Pussy."

The feeling was so different from the humiliation she'd suffered from those men that it felt as if flames burned away the impurities left by the months of torture.

"Again."

"Pussy." His voice had deepened, causing the fine hairs on her arms to stand up and goosebumps to form across her skin. He licked his lips, eyes venturing to where her nipples strained toward him, wanting to feel his touch.

How she wanted that. Maybe, just maybe she'd find the strength to bare her chest to him once he was bound.

"Bind yourself," she said softly, but the two words shot through the room like a gunshot.

She watched his Adam's apple bob before he sat again, scooting backwards to grab the first leather strap. Watching him twist and turn to lace the black material around his ankle and then as he laid back to strap his one arm was better than any strip show she'd ever attended. Edward was much more handsome, real, and warm than the strippers who had worked for her dollars during the few times she'd gone with girlfriends. And more importantly, she could touch.

And touch she planned to do.

Grinning as she watched him close his eyes and swallow hard, she soon became riveted by the drops of moisture she spied on the head of his cock.

She giggled when Edward groaned as she unscrewed the top of Brian's mojo cream. Her moan of pleasure at the smell of Edward joined his sounds. A dab across her nose filled her with him, and gave her braveness wings

There was no hesitation as she stood beside the bed and slowly removed her clothing except the dark blue push up bra and boy shorts she'd donned earlier in the day.

"Fuck." Edward twisted against the bindings, his free hand reaching for the strap that remained loose on the bed.

Bella watched in fascination as he wrapped the material around his wrist several times and clenched his fingers around it. The knowledge he could quickly unwrap his makeshift tie sent shivers up her spine.

Bound, but not.

She felt the heat of his stare as she slowly crawled onto the bed and moved to kneel between his outstretch legs. His cock stood proudly between them, weeping.

Bella leaned forward, dragging her nose alongside his knee. While he gasped and she heard the creak of the leather as he jolted in response to her caress, she took a deep breath, waiting for the smell of him to send her into a panic.

Nothing. Nothing but pure Edward as her senses took in a deep draught of his cologne.

Smiling against his skin in victory, she moved slowly up, letting her long hair drag over his skin. Fascinated at the sound he was making, she suckled at his inner thigh for a time, lapping and nibbling as the mood struck. She felt him trembling against her, but he hadn't moved, restraining his movement with Herculean strength.

"I'm going to touch you now," she murmured against a particularly harsh bite she'd given him.

He said several inventive curses, particularly filthy ones.

Unsure how long her hip could handle the position, she pushed up to a kneel, her knees resting against his swollen and lifted balls. Jiggling slightly, as if she was settling in place, she watched him bite his lip in reaction.

"Did that feel good?" she asked and laughed when he growled at her.

"Fucking fantastic. Do it just a few more times, and you won't have to do any more touching," he threatened.

She saw the blood throbbing through his cock, the vessels standing out in harsh relief against his skin.

"Bella . . ." his voice was soft, despite the harshness of it.

"Yes."

"Baby, I really want to touch you soon. While being the recipient of all this is mind blowing –" His rant cut off because Bella had decided to trace the tight skin of his balls, running over the ridges with her fingernails before she cupped them.

A needy sound she couldn't even name escaped him, and Edward threw his head back against the bed, his throat arched in abandon. He yelled her name when her fingers wrapped around him, squeezing his base.

His skin was so soft, but what was underneath was pure steel. Bella felt him swell even more at her touch. The realization she wanted to give him a blow job tore at her. Too soon, she knew for that, but a hand job to test Brian's magic was definitely an option. Smoothing her hand up to twist over his head and then back down, she smirked as a sweat broke out over his skin. She felt the tensing of his hips as he remained perfectly still.

Whether he knew it or not, he seemed to draw pleasure from being bound to her desires. To test her theory, she arched her eyebrow at him and said, "Do not move. I didn't give you permission."

Pre-cum coated her hands as it leaked down from him.

It was a reaction to her he couldn't control and one that fed her. He drew short pants of breath, and his eyes narrowed in lust. More importantly, he clenched the leather so hard that she heard it, heard the twisting of the strong material against his headboard as he pulled on the straps. She watched him closely as she stroked him again, her . . . pussy . . . clenching as moisture escaped her. She couldn't have controlled it if she tried, because desire bloomed fresh and deep within her. Her reaction was as instinctual as his, and that thrilled her even more.

This was a normal reaction to wanting someone.

A normal reaction!

Shivering with power, Bella brushed her fingertip over his head, biting her lip as he moaned.

"Bella, please. I need to move."

She smirked at him. "Fuck my hand," she directed.

And he did. Planting his feet against the mattress, he surged into the tight glove she made. Palming his balls, Bella tugged slightly, and Edward shouted in pleasure.

"Fuck baby, yeah." He jerked. "Bella, you okay?" he growled when she tightened her hand.

"Yes! Perfectly fine." Her answer was but a breath, but it was probably the most important thing she'd said all night.

She was.

Perfectly fine.

Brian's mojo kept the smell from sending her into a dark place, and the control she had over Edward was far from what she'd experience in that hellish hole. Edward fucking her hand, the sounds he made deep within his chest as he did so, his occasional glance to her, checking on her even amidst his pleasure, was a sensual experience.

"I want you to come, Edward."

He mouthed her name, his eyes tortured.

"Now."

A harsh cry precipitated the ribbons of white that shot from him, covering her hand and his stomach. A few more pushes against her and his back fell to the bed.

"Fuck, I've never come that quickly," he muttered. "I've wanted you for so long that to feel you against me . . ." he shuddered.

Running her fingers through the cum on his stomach, Bella was lost in the moment. For so long, the presence of semen had been associated with terror and pain. But being able to experience this with Edward reminded her of just how fun sex had been before. It was all good to have hard-core, down and dirty sex at times, but Bella enjoyed the fun give and take of teasing one another, as well. To get there, she was going to have to let Edward touch her.

Moving, she ignored the wet of his stomach and straddled him. Edward hissed as she lowered on top of his softened cock.

"Baby, you stay there, and I'm going to get hard again." His face was almost comical in how sexually sated he looked. _Zenned out_ , Jake would say.

"Okay," she giggled, unable to conceive he'd recover so fast.

A big smile tore across his face. "Okay?"

"Yup," she popped the p just like Jake did.

"I want to taste you."

Bella's gasp filled the space around them.

"Taste me?"

"Yes. I want to taste your pussy, Bella." His look was hesitant before he said roughly, "I want you to feel me there, remember my lips against you as you orgasm. When you touch yourself, I want you to crave me instead."

Would it be that simple? The men had never defiled her in that manner, and it had been years since she'd felt a lover's caress against her there.

It was definitely intriguing, but Bella wanted to enjoy the moment. While hearing Edward moan her name and pant had turned her on, feeling him come in her hand had brought an incredible rush of power and she was strangely satisfied without having an orgasm herself. Her body hummed with pleasure just from the victory of the experience.

"Next time."

His face twisted, but he settled under her fingertips.

Holding up her wet hand, she murmured. "This was big for me. Let me bask in the awesomeness of an Edward Cullen orgasm."

He snickered. "Nothing special here, just a man incredibly turned on by his woman."

"His woman, huh?"

"Yup." He mimicked the way she'd said the word.

Satisfaction burned through her, swirling around her heart and warming it. The emotion burned brightly, banishing any negativity that attempted to approach. "I like the sound of that."

"Me too. Are you sure I can't convince you to keep me tied up and continue using me as your sex slave?"

She snickered, joy making her feel light-headed. His voice was so sincere, and the teasing was almost as good as sex.

"I promise, next time. I'll even let you have me first," she responded, patting his chest softly as he emitted a needy whine.

Later, as Edward fed her popcorn and the movie played in the background, Bella thought of something she'd been meaning to ask.

"Edward, Jamie never told me if he had a serious relationship. I can't imagine he went his whole life without someone special, considering how popular he was with the ladies."

Edward's hand faltered, and he put down his drink.

"Yeah, he did."

"What happened?"

He picked up the remote, turning down the movie so he could focus on her. "Jamie met Victoria before he went to the Academy." He looked down at his hands. "We all loved her, and she seemed to be a grounding presence for him. At the end of his junior year at the Academy, she found out she had brain cancer. She'd been having headaches for a while, but didn't go to the doctor because she thought it was allergies. Unfortunately, by the time they determined what was wrong, it had spread."

Bella clutched at her chest, feeling her heart breaking.

When Edward looked at Bella, there were tears in his eyes. "To make matters worse, they found out she was pregnant. Early pregnant. She didn't want to live the last of her days sick from the medicine, nor did she want to have an abortion, which would have allowed the chemotherapy if she'd wanted it. So after conferring with his officers, she and Jamie took off on a road trip from Colorado Springs through Colorado into Montana."

Edward took her hands in his. "He told us she died in his arms one morning as the sun rose over the mountains. At her funeral, Jamie overheard a man talking about them. The man said something along the lines of how horrible it was he'd, meaning Jamie, lost so much. Bella, Jamie laughed at the man, telling him he had it all wrong."

" _I shared the most glorious sunrise with the love of my life and my child. In that moment, there was no one else, no distractions; no other things to focus on other than that perfect moment in time. Can you tell me you've shared such a moment with those you love, or have you spent your time focusing on what was lost?" Jamie's blue eyes shone with tears._

" _I will always remember how the sun highlighted the red in her hair, how the morning breeze ruffled her curls, how the steam rose off the coffee I held as we waited. Nothing will ever replace that moment."_

"When I envision Jamie, I think of him and Victoria that way, watching the sunrise, waiting for the moment we'll join them." Edward squeezed her hand, pulling her into his side and wrapping his arm around her. "And I never forget to take joy in the moment, no matter how simple."

~Honor~

AN: Hope you enjoyed. Next up, a day with Jude and Henri.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

 ***Please read** * - I've had several guest comments over the past two weeks I wanted to address.

Usually, when you see the dreaded "guest" you cringe thinking someone has just decided to choose your story to pick on for that week. In this case, however, both guest comments had great suggestions for me. First, in the original posting of the last chapter, I'd made a contrast of Edward being circumcised versus Bella's rapists. A very wise reviewer pointed out that due to religious practices, most, if not all, men in the region where Bella was captured are circumcised. A second guest reviewer pointed out that, although most people believe all individuals from this area have dark skin, hair, and eyes, there really is great diversity in the people who live in the region.

I had in mind a very specific group of terrorists when I decided to continue the original one-shot, so please accept that as my intention when I described the men. I did change the circumcision piece, as I did more research into the group I was thinking about and found that while they are a mix of belief systems, they are primarily Islamic (PLEASE NOTE – HUGE DIFFERENCE IN BEING RAISED IN THE ISLAMIC RELIGION AND BEING A TERRORIST – DON'T EVEN GO THERE). I didn't change the physical characteristics, though, as I needed the difference for the story. Thank you to the guest reviewers brave enough to post those thoughts – but know, I am perfectly happy with people PMing me if I screw up. I'm always open to constructive criticism.

Also, just to keep us updated in the story – we are "sometime" in January, Bella and Edward met just before Christmas. So the football game described would be a play-off game (with a little creative licensing in the timeline). Just FYI, being from Atlanta, I have very little experience in routing for a team that goes to the play-offs (Go Falcons! Love ya, but really?), so I had to have a little fun with it. HA!

Lastly, thank you to the reader who nominated Honor as the best "Work in Progess" over at Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards(awards dot fanaticfanfics dot com). My beta for this story, beachcomberlc, has also been put up for a Beta Award in the competition. Voting starts April 11th, so please go over and give your favorite stories and people your vote! After almost seven years in this fandom, I'm as honored by the nominations I've received as the awards I've been given.

Lastly, lastly – a reader PM'd me regarding a recommendation for a contest page. She is interested in entering some, but didn't know where to go. I have to admit to being horrible about knowing the goings and comings in the fandom anymore. I usually only write for contests when someone emails me about them (sad, I know). Can anyone direct me to a good contest page in a review? I'll make sure to pass the info along.

And now, to our story . . .

~Honor~

"You're here!" Jude vibrated with happiness when he answered the door. Before Edward could move, the black-haired man grabbed him, popping a kiss to Edward's lips before he bowed elegantly to Bella. "Come on in! Everyone's been waiting to meet you."

"Edward!" a young voice shouted, and Bella saw a small dark-haired child running across the room as soon as they stepped into the entryway.

Edward snatched the toddler up, tossing him up into the air and catching him. The young boy squealed in delight as Edward did it again before settling the wriggling child on his hip.

"Bella, this is Greg. He's Susie's son."

Shy, the child tucked his face in the crook of Edward's neck. But the energy of a two year old was hard to contain, so shyness aside, Greg quickly began squirming to get down. "C'mon, Edward."

Greg grabbed Edward's hand attempting to pull him, but Edward threw a quick glance to Bella, raising an eyebrow. She nodded with a small smile, and it was only then that Edward gave her a wink and allowed Greg to tug him away into a group of people, all whom were already arguing over the pre-game show.

Jude grinned broadly, nudging his head toward an arched opening. "Henri said you were to join him in the kitchen when you arrived."

"Really?" Bella arched an eyebrow at Jude's statement. She was messing with him so she giggled at his blush.

"He's cooking for us and said he wanted your expertise."

She chuckled. "Remember, I've tasted his cooking. What exactly does he think I could help him with?"

A look of such terror crossed Jude's face that Bella was thrown for a moment. "I never question Henri when he's in the kitchen." His face filled with mischief after. "Just at every other time."

Laughing, Bella followed him through the expansive living room, but not before nodding toward Susie, who was sitting on one of the couches with a handsome man. Several other individuals caught her eye, giving her friendly nods or smiles, but she continued, even passing Edward, who sat in the floor cross-legged with Greg.

She was greeted by a rapid stream of French curses as she walked through the archway.

While the house Jude and Henri owned was an exquisite example of restoration, the kitchen had obviously received extra care and attention. It was a masterpiece of stainless steel industrial-grade appliances, an oversize gas stove, and Henri, who was giving another man directions.

"Make sure these go on the middle rack of the warmer. We don't want them to dry out."

The man lifted a tray of what appeared to be barbecue ribs and moved toward a large stainless steel cabinet set in the wall. When he opened the door, Bella's mouth dropped at what she saw inside— row upon row of various foods. She only caught a quick glance, but she thought she saw wings and potato wedges, as well. The smell in the kitchen made her mouth water, again making her question what Henri would want with her.

Jude coughed slightly, capturing his lover's gaze, and when Henri glanced over, he face transformed from harried to excited.

"Isabella." He said her name like a purr. Wiping his hands dry on a pristine white side towel, Henri waved his hands, telling her to approach; Jude, he shooed-off with a flick of his wrist. "Go entertain our guests," he ordered his lover, but spoiled the severity of his actions with a quick kiss.

"He is very yummy," Bella said as Jude walked out. They both ogled his ass.

"He is," Henri smirked. "Your man is as tasty, even if I'm savoring the flavor from afar."

"Geez, seriously." The man who Bella had watched when she walked in was leaning against one of the counters. He rolled his eyes at her and Henri. He had a broad smile and kind face. "I'm Trey, by the way."

The man who'd been stabbed. Bella remembered his name.

"It's nice to meet you," she said quickly.

"Same."

"Enough socializing," Henri barked, making Bella blush. "I need help with the vegetables." He slid a sharp knife and cutting block over to her, nodding toward a stack of zucchini squash, celery, cucumbers, and carrots. "Chop, chop," he said, after demonstrating the cut he wanted.

Bella settled onto the stool he'd provided her, sensing that there was more to be said, but for now, Henri wanted her to chop, so she did. It was only after he and Trey had created a masterpiece of guacamole and Henri had sent Trey out into the hungry, rowdy crowd with the platter that he looked through his eyelashes at her.

"Edward raved about the cookies you baked. He said they were better than mine." He sniffed, to which Bella laughed. "I'm a chef, so I'll admit I rely on Charles to create his masterpieces, although I can make do if required. However, if he knew Edward had spoken disparaging words about his products, all hell would break lose. Which brings me to why I wanted to speak with you. Charles has to go home for a couple of weeks for a family issue, which leaves me without a pâtissier. And while I'm sure Jude and I could manage for the day-to-day stuff, I have several large upcoming catered events. I wondered if you were interested in a short-term job."

Bella's eyebrows shot up. "Are you talking every day, or just the catering gigs?"

"Worst case, the catering jobs. Best case, other days at the restaurant if you're interested and feel you can. I'm aware you're attending therapy, so there are days you would have to leave early, but we can work around those. Charles is only part-time while he finishes culinary school, so I'm used to only having someone for a couple of hours."

Putting the knife down on the counter, Bella shifted on the stool. "Wow. I'm actually intrigued by the idea. I like making sweets, but I'm not sure I'm up to the caliber of your professional baker."

"Edward says you are," Henri said with a smile. "And I can get Charles to leave his recipes."

"You sure? I can only imagine that, as a professional, he wouldn't want his secrets leaked out to just anyone."

"He'll be fine, as long as you sign in blood."

Laughter burst from Bella as Edward walked in the door. He smirked upon seeing her.

Over the short time they'd been dating, Bella felt she'd become somewhat of an expert on reading Edward. Maybe it was because of their unique situation, the need to be constantly aware of one another's feelings and comfort levels, or perhaps it was because he was so open with his emotions, but she watched as the concern slid off his face. His overprotective nature was something that should have upset her, but instead, the sense of belonging burned brightly in her heart.

"Henri is propositioning me."

"Intriguing," he said, sliding his arm around her waist as he stood to her side.

It was the first time he'd done this, and she sighed into the embrace, fully aware that not a shiver of fear appeared at his touch. Relief flashed in his gaze.

"Exactly what is he propositioning you for?" His left eyebrow arched high.

"I was asking her to work for me." Henri crossed his arms across his chest while he leaned against the counter. "And quit teasing the girl. You are quite aware my only experience with women was when I was still in the closet."

"Dicks before chicks," Bella muttered at the two of them, causing Edward to burst out in laugher and Henri's jaw to drop.

"See, that right there is why I need you to work for me. If nothing else, you'll keep me on my toes."

Trey burst through the door, interrupting them. "The crowd is getting restless, and they're hungry. I'm not going back out there unless we feed them. Vicious little beasties." He shivered for effect.

~Honor~

A roar of disappointment filled the room when the Seahawks' star receiver dropped the ball in the end zone. They were down by six and needed a touchdown to stay alive. There was only two minutes left in the playoff game.

"Dear Lord, we'll have to avoid my parents' house for several years," Edward muttered.

Bella could only imagine, having been present to witness Esme's dedication to her team.

"I'm glad Emmett and Jasper are taking the brunt of this loss."

Bella shook her head at him. "They're just being responsible for the initial shock. You know she's going to want to talk about it with you, too."

Edward actually paled at the thought. When the clock ran out on the Seahawks, Edward groaned. "If it weren't for you, I'd ask the boss to give me some extra shifts, so I could make excuses."

Grinning, Bella goosed Edward in the ribs. Henri consoled Jude across from them, running his fingers through Jude's dark hair and telling him there was always the next season. Jude didn't appear to be buying it. Around the room, their friends sat in various states of shock or disgust. Regardless of the loss, she'd had a good time. They'd all welcomed her, particularly Greg, who was curled up in Edward's lap, his tiny head against Edward's chest. He was sound asleep. The toddler was an equal-opportunity attention-seeker, having spent the afternoon talking with each and every person, but naptime had found him with Edward and Bella, the sandman applying the right amount of magic dust during a very serious conversation about which of the Transformers was the "coolest."

Susie made her way through the mourners with David, her date, at her side. "Sorry, Edward. I know he weighs a ton."

Standing in a graceful move, Edward shook his head slowly. "It's fine. Do you want me to take him to your car?"

"Thanks for the offer, but I've got him. The minute his back hits the car seat, he's going to wake up anyway. I'm sweating bedtime."

It was clear from the woman's facial reactions that she didn't mind one bit that her son was such a bundle of energy. Warmth filled Bella's chest as she watched Edward gently place the sleeping boy in Susie's arms. Flashes of a small copper-haired, green-eyed boy filled her mind and for the first time, her biological clock ticked.

 _Was she ready?_ The question teased.

 _Yes._ The answer was clear.

But first, she wanted to enjoy some baby-making. Grinning at the internal debate, Bella caught Edward's inquisitive glance. "The voices in my head are talking to me," she teased.

They stayed to help Henri and Jude clean. Trey and his partner, Nick, did the same.

"You've got a good guy," Trey told her quietly as she handed him plates to load in the dishwasher. Tired, and hip aching, she'd pulled the stool up to the sink to rinse the food off.

Nodding, Bella smiled softly. "I know."

"I was fully prepared to grill you. I know it's wrong, but I feel very protective of Edward after all he did to help Nick and me. Not many doctors take the time for patients after the work is done."

Bella watched the man shift uncomfortably. "So, did I pass inspection?"

"Yes, with flying colors." He chuckled as he closed the dishwasher door and hit the start button. He moved closer to her and reached for the scrubber. "Let me do the rest, and you can dry."

They settled into companionable chatter while they worked to clear the kitchen of all the pots that were used to prepare Henri's feast. Among other things, Bella found out that Trey worked as an architect and had helped Henri and Jude refurbish their home.

"Henri was an asshole about the kitchen, but in the end, you can see it was worth it." He waved his hand at the masterpiece before them.

"Hmph . . ." Henri grunted as he entered, having heard Trey. "Quit making nasty comments about the cook, or you won't get any leftovers to take home."

The threat had Trey moving his fingers in front of his lips, as if he was zipping them. Bella couldn't help but laugh at their antics. When Edward came to a stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pulling her back against his stomach, she only had to fight a moment of panic. Putting her head back against his chest, she fit nicely against him. Jude and Nick pulled large plastic containers out of the pantry. Within moments, the group had the food divided into thirds, filling the containers to the brim.

"I'm not going to have to cook for several days." Bella laughed when she looked at the ribs they'd given her and Edward. He had several large tubs of other goodies he was placing in a box Jude had unearthed.

"Good, it'll give you time to relax and consider my offer," Henri said as he expertly sealed several bags of fresh veggies and spooned dipping sauce into small sealable bowls.

~Honor~

Bella yawned in exhaustion as Edward gently closed his car door. They'd said their goodbyes to the four men at the door. Her hip ached, taunting her with the knowledge that she'd refused to bring her chair, relying on her cane instead. She'd thought a day at Henri and Jude's home would've been an easy feat, but she felt like someone had taken a hammer to her hip.

"You're in pain," Edward said as soon as he slid into the driver's seat.

She nodded, but put on a brave smile. "Lots of good exercise. Jane will be so proud of me . . . you know, putting myself through torture and all."

"Well, I suggest you dig out that bottle of pills you have. That way, by the time we get home, you'll be more relaxed."

Bella hated taking the pain killers, but she knew the throbbing would only get worse if she didn't. Using the bottle of water Henri had insisted she take, she swallowed one down.

When Edward turned and raised an eyebrow at her, she shook out the second. Damn doctor. He'd known she'd only taken a half dose.

"Jane is actually going to be very proud of you. You walked more today than I've seen you do."

Bella grimaced as she shifted. "Let's hope I can walk at all tomorrow."

Edward was quiet for a few moments, then said, "I wish I could give you a massage. It would help with the soreness."

Heat flared across her skin, tightening her inner muscles. They both knew that him touching her legs in that manner was still something that could set her off, so it wasn't something to be taken on lightly.

"I think the best I can do is get you home so you can get in the shower and use those massage heads Mike had installed."

Bella groaned in anticipation thinking about it. The shower in her loft was something akin to a miracle. She could only assume Mike's muscles grew as fatigued as hers, because the extra row of directional nozzles could be perfectly aimed to pound her hip and thighs. But as good as the jets of water would feel, the thought of Edward's strong hands kneading her muscles sounded so much better. She actually craved his touch now.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked. He would have to work four days in a row, and the thought of not seeing him much already filled her with a sense of loss.

"Of course, if you want me to." He hazarded a smiling glance over at her.

Turning so she could look at his profile, she took a deep breath. "I meant, will you sleep with me tonight?"

He almost missed their turn in shock. "You mean, in your bed?"

"Yes. I'm afraid I'm not going to be up for any hanky-panky." He chuckled at her funny. "But I still want to be able to touch you. The pain pills take some of the edge off my anxieties, as well." She watched him nibble at his bottom lip. "What?"

He cleared his throat. "How do you feel when you wake up after the meds? Some people are disoriented, and I'd hate to set us back by my presence confusing or shocking you."

"Nope, I'm good."

His thoughtfulness was another thing she loved about him. It was also incredibly sexy.

"Edward, I have a question, and I want you to be brutally honest in answering it. I don't want you to worry about how it will make me feel or if it will make me nervous. Okay?"

He pulled into the parking garage attached to their building, parked, and unlatched his seat belt so he could turn toward her before he answered. Scanning her face, he took a deep breath when whatever he saw seemed to settle him. "Okay."

"When you've been with other women, you're not the passive partner are you?"

A blush spread across cheekbones, but he answered quickly. "No."

"So you're a gentleman in public, and . . . a what in bed?"

He burst out laughing. "I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone label me." He wiped at his eyes, but sobered when he saw she waited for him to answer. "Bella, I'm truly not sure about any sort of label. The whole lady in public, whore in bed thing is a definite turn on for me, because I've always wanted to have someone I felt comfortable bringing home; someone who fit, like you do. But I enjoy sex. Like, really enjoy it. It's fun, it feels fucking good, and at times it can be all-consuming. So I've always wanted to find someone to share that with as well. I'm a demanding lover, if that is what you're asking. I want someone who can tell me what they like, someone who wants to experiment, someone who isn't afraid of letting me take charge–"

She gasped, growing nervous. She definitely hadn't been letting him be in control.

He captured her hand in his, squeezing tightly. "And lately, I've been learning just how big a turn on it is to let someone else be in control." He smoothed a piece of her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "But if you're asking if one day I'd like to be the aggressor with you – yes. I have a fantasy of taking you against a wall." Heat flared between them, and Bella's stomach clenched, imagining that exact thing. "I want to take you from behind, and hold you to me so you feel our bodies straining together." His pupils dilated. "I want to take you roughly, but I'm most afraid of that fantasy, because of what happened to you."

She remained speechless.

"But if we don't ever get there, I'll also be okay." He paused. "I'm not a therapist, we both know that, but I think, from all the progress we've made so far, that it won't be long until we are able to make love. I think once we've been together, you're subconsciously going to remember how it is with us, and I think that sex will be something that comes as naturally to us as breathing. Yes, we're going to have some hiccups – no doubt. We'll need to talk more about what they did that traumatized you; pulling your hair harshly and holding you down . . . and the other things that will come up. But we've got a good system using the safe words."

Bella had to force herself to take a breath. His words should've made her run, but instead, she felt a blast of lust. This talking thing was so odd. She'd just done the 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' thing with the other men in her past. Talking, it would seem, turned her on about as much as a stroke of skin against skin.

Shaking her head to clear the cobwebs, she nodded, letting him know she understood. Agreed.

She kept thinking over his words while he helped her into the loft. He put the food in her refrigerator and left to go take a shower, while she did the same. The heat, massaging heads of the shower, and the medicine loosened every aching and knotted muscle in her body by the time she crawled into her bed and under the covers, but it was the slide of the loft door that caused her to sigh in relief.

Edward came through her bedroom door, pillow in hand, within a few seconds. Shirtless, he wore sleep shorts and nothing else but a smile. Scooting over, Bella patted the empty space beside her.

"Are you sure?" he asked. His husky voice was a caress. One that would've lit every nerve on fire, if she hadn't been drugged and massaged almost to the point of passing out.

"Yes. But there is a cost to occupying my space."

"Cost?"

"Yes." She giggled, feeling nothing but relaxed, sleepy, and playful. "Another question answered without you worrying about how I'll feel."

Edward laid his pillow down on the space she'd cleared as an indication he accepted the challenge and felt he would come through it victorious. "Take your best shot."

"You masturbated in the shower didn't you?"

He smiled so brightly that she blinked. "That is an easy one, Bella. Hell, yeah."

She sniffed. "You better have called out my name."

Edward tried to hold in the laughter, but lost. "Several times."

"What was I doing to you in your fantasy?"

"Oh, it wasn't what you were doing to me, but what I was doing to you. You had your legs clamped around my head and shrieked my name when you came. That was the image that sent me over the edge."

She was too relaxed to even move, but the thought definitely made everything tingle. She patted the bed, letting him know he'd earned the space. He settled beside her, lying on his back, but failed to stifle a groan when Bella crawled up against his side. He raised his arm, and they resettled so that she rested her head on a pillow over it and bent her leg so that it propped over his. The slight tinge of soreness in her hip eased with the angle.

"Mmm . . ." she mumbled.

Edward glanced down to see a freckle on her nose he'd previously missed and grinned as she sighed.

Asleep.

Just like that, Bella was gone.

Edward smiled up at the ceiling, enjoying the heat of her at his side, his sexual satisfaction with the needed shower moment, and the genuine pleasure at having spent quality time with his friends. This was how he'd already dreamed of being with someone, when the time was right. Now, if the night remained peaceful, and Bella woke without any fear, he would consider it the perfect day.

" _Damn. She's hot, Edward," Jamie said of the woman giving him doe eyes._

 _Glancing up from his meal, Edward followed his baby brother's gaze to where a pretty blonde winked at him, her message clear. "Yeah, she's pretty," he mumbled, his mind on the rotation he was completing._

 _The woman continued to give Edward a look that he knew signaled she was free and willing if he wanted her. While she was physically attractive and he should be interested, the appeal just wasn't there. He was glad his brother had come for a visit before his next assignment, and truth be told, he'd rather spend his free time with Jamie than a one-night stand, which is all the woman could be right now._

" _You know, I hope I'll be there to see the moment a woman brings you to your knees."_

" _Huh?" Edward said, his mind already on getting back to his apartment where he and Jamie could watch some basketball together. He had no idea what Jamie was talking about._

" _The woman," James said, moving his hands in the air to outline a curvaceous figure. "Let me put it in your terms. Female member of the Homo sapien species. Typically physically attractive to most normal, healthy males." He snorted, letting Edward know that he was questioning his older brother's 'health.' "We wine and dine them, then hope they like us back."_

 _At Edward's tired look, Jamie just shook his head in a sad way._

" _Edward, Edward, Edward, what am I going to have to do? Find the right one for you and send her your way?"_

 _Edward chuckled, finally. "Maybe. But for now, don't we have twenty bucks on the game? Let's go."_

Brushing his fingertip down Bella's bare arm, Edward felt the tears pool in his eyes. He let them fall, the grief of losing his little brother catching up to him as it did at times.

"Thanks, Jamie."

He knew it was stupid to think Jamie would hear. His brother would be too busy . . . snuggling Victoria and their baby, as Edward was sure he was doing. But, it made Edward feel better to say it.

~Honor~

Thoughts?

Would love to know how you think the "morning after" is going to go? Snicker.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

Lastly, thank you to the reader who nominated Honor as the best "Work in Progess" over at Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards ( awards dot fanaticfanfics dot com). My beta for this story, beachcomberlc, has also been put up for a Beta Award in the competition. Voting starts today, so please go over and give your favorite stories and people your vote! After almost seven years in this fandom, I'm as honored by the nominations I've received as the awards I've been given.

~Honor~

"How did you feel when Edward said 'Red'?" Marcus asked Bella.

She thought back to that morning and how she'd reacted.

 _The wonder of the first moment of the day was overshadowed by the ache in her hip as she shifted. Breathing through the pain, she allowed the warmth and comfort of the bed to win and lull her back to that dusky land between sleep and wakefulness. But her lethargy was dispelled quickly, replaced by the awareness that she was not alone. A firm, warm body stretched out beside her, and she was wrapped around it like a vine._

 _Edward._

 _They'd done it!_

 _Thrilled by the notion they'd been able to sleep together, she grinned, pushing away the last of her drowsiness while she began to run her fingertips through the soft hairs on his chest. He mumbled her name when she brushed over the tip of a nipple._

" _Fuck, he's gorgeous," she thought, gazing at the shadow of hair covering his jaw. The desire to bite him was strong._

 _Ignoring the screaming pain in her hip, she shifted away, grinning when he reached for her. One of his arms rested to his side; the one she'd laid her head upon to sleep was stretched out, his hand seeking her across the sheets. Lips opened slightly, his facial muscles were relaxed in sleep, while his hair stood out in unruly spikes. The elements combined to make him look years younger. Like Carlisle, he was going to age gracefully, the years adding character to what was already a strong, masculine, but utterly beautiful face. And while he was no muscle-bound specimen like Jake, Edward's long, lean muscles screamed out for adoration. As did his cock, which admirably tented the sheets in morning glory._

 _Slowly, she moved over him, her lips brushing the taut planes of his stomach as she moved toward her goal._

"I was mad, at first," she admitted with a blush.

Beside her, Edward smirked, but he squeezed her hand gently. He'd worked hard over the past four days and then had the misfortune of getting caught up in surgery just before he was to clock out. But he'd insisted on keeping their appointment with Marcus, even if it meant he'd only gotten a couple hours of sleep. He kept assuring Bella he could survive on only a few, but she wanted to tuck him into his bed and let him nap. If she was able to join him, it would be even better. She, too, was tired after several hard therapeutic sessions with Jane, two long days of work with Henri and Jude for a small catering job, and attending the veterans' group to catch up on Cal and the others.

It was a good tired, though. She wouldn't get rich working for Henri, but the money would help her savings account, adding padding back to replace what she'd used to buy furniture. She knew how to be frugal. Living on her check each month would require it. Anything she could do to help the bottom line, while she tried to figure out her long-range plans, made her feel better. But for now, short-range goals had her wrapped tightly. Her primary one was enjoying the next few days off with Edward and possibly returning back to the moment she'd had his cock in her mouth.

"You said 'mad, at first.' Do you mind explaining?" Marcus asked.

Edward snickered, and Bella wanted to pinch his side. She'd actually been dumbfounded when Edward called a halt to her blowjob.

Shrugging her shoulders, which caused her neck to pop, Bella let out a deep breath. "I was in the moment and not thinking. Thankfully, Edward was a little more in control."

Marcus chuckled, which shocked her. The man was a sex therapist, so she should've assumed he would be as different as his line of work. His next words surprised her even more.

"I doubt Edward was very much in control, Bella. Most red-blooded men don't think rationally when the woman they love is performing fellatio on them – particularly in the morning."

Bella growled at Edward when she heard his grunt.

"Well, he had the sense to stop us, even if it did make me angry. We were in the wrong bed, but I was a little too excited to think about it."

"What caused your excitement?" Marcus's voice was soft, but there was no denying the power behind it.

He was the type of man you bared all your secrets to without an ounce of embarrassment. She and Edward had already told Marcus about their experimentation – in detail. He asked questions that made them flesh out what had happened, how the moments made them feel, what felt good, what didn't. Had anyone else asked such pointed questions, Bella would have thought they were a pervert. But with Marcus, it felt cathartic, energizing . . . normal.

Feeling spunky, she grinned. "Edward was in bed beside me with a convenient morning hard-on. We'd spent the night together, and I'd slept soundly in his arms." She shrugged with one shoulder, looking over to the copper-haired man beside her. "He gets me going." She waggled her eyebrows at him with a decidedly lecherous look. "So pretty."

Blushing, Edward shook his head and returned his attention to Marcus.

In her mind, Bella held up a single finger. Score one for Bella! While he hadn't meant for it to be so, Edward's halt of their playing had been torturous.

"Edward, why did you stop Bella?"

Clearing his throat, Edward smirked back at Bella. "Obviously it wasn't because I didn't want what was happening. In fact, I wanted it too much." He squeezed Bella's hand again before continuing. "I explained it to her after we calmed down and were sitting at the table for breakfast. It felt too good, and I was afraid I would lose control without the restraints. We discussed it, and Bella and I agreed. The first time she gives me a blow job, I need to be fully chained." He leaned over and bumped his shoulder against Bella's. "If the small sample I got was any indication, it'll be too good for me to think I'll have any control."

Bella felt the fiery blush warm her face, but she couldn't help but grin. Edward, a god-like creature, had complemented her skills, skills she wanted badly to utilize on him. She had no time to be shamed by it in front of the therapist who had probably heard much worse.

Marcus attempted to control the small smile that threatened, but he wasn't entirely able to do so. Bella noted the small quirk of his lips. "Edward successfully utilized your safe word to stop the play when he felt uncomfortable with the situation. Thinking on it now, how does that make you feel, Isabella?"

Bella had been contemplating this exact thing for the past few days. After the first rush of disappointment and anger, she'd known he'd done exactly what he should've done. He was protecting them and their agreements. And while it had stung at first, she'd had several days to contemplate exactly what her emotions were. And she could clearly define them now – the feeling of being cherished and protected. In that one moment, the moment Edward had placed his hand on her cheek and begged her to stop, using their safe word when she'd pushed the limit slightly, he'd cleared any doubt in her mind about the effort he would go to keep her safe . . . to make this work.

Even when she'd popped off him, allowing her breath to rush over his wet cock, he'd held entirely still. A supernatural feat, if there was ever one.

That moment had assured her she could attempt anything with Edward, and they had what it would take to work out the kinks, literally. She hadn't been able to tell him yet, what she'd figured out, because he'd been at work, and it had seemed too intimate of a conversation to hold over the phone.

Making sure she held Edward's gaze, she answered Marcus's question. "What you did made me feel wanted, in a way allowing me to finish wouldn't have. I'm sorry I ignored the rules. You were too enticing. Thank you for watching out for us."

Edward snorted, but took the opportunity to lean over and kiss her lips quickly. He'd already been more than blunt with her that morning about how he'd felt. He'd also been forthcoming about how excited he'd been. Something along the lines of "Fuck, your lips around my cock was the best wakeup call I've ever had."

"The homework I gave you last time appeared to be very helpful, no?" Marcus gazed at his iPad, having given them a moment of privacy. He was good like that, allowing them brief caresses.

Both Edward and Bella nodded their heads at his question.

"So, I have the next assignment for you. I request you complete this before you share any more intimate moments."

Bella had to breathe deeply, because she already had evil plans in place for Edward involving his bed and some new restraints. She blushed again when she caught Marcus's raised eyebrow. It was like the man could read her mind.

"For the first part of your assignment, I want you to take the time to write out two fantasies. To start, I want you to consider something you think is in reach. It could be to finish off what was started the other morning . . ." Marcus smirked at Bella " . . .or it could be something entirely different. The fantasy doesn't even have to include sex, although if it does, that's fine."

"The second one will be harder. I want you to reach deep down in the darkest parts of your soul and pull out a fantasy you don't want to share. Something you think the other person would run from."

Edward and Bella exchanged surprised glances.

"Place them in separate envelopes and put a red X on the one you fear the most, and a green one on the other. Once you have that done, I want you to place all four envelopes somewhere you agree upon. Somewhere you two can see on a daily basis. When you feel comfortable, I want you to sit down with each other and read the envelopes marked with the green X. You don't have to do this before you are intimate again, just when it feels right. I don't want you opening the red one for a while."

Bella and Edward nodded in agreement, their minds already on the assignment.

"Lastly, when you come see me next week, I would like to know an answer to the following question. Would you like me to schedule an interview with a couple who lives in a committed BDSM relationship, so you can feel them out as possible mentors?"

"What?" both Bella and Edward gasped.

Marcus actually snickered. "I wish you could've seen the look on both of your faces," he said with a soft laugh. He kept chuckling as he tapped something into his iPad. "Look, while I can certainly say I'm a good judge of character and interests, I don't assume I'm always correct. The use of bondage has been a good technique for you to get as far as you have, but I have to consider that for it to have worked so well, there has to be an underlying interest. It's my belief the two of you will continue with those practices long after their usefulness as trigger management has run its course, and I want you to have good knowledge and training just in case. You may never use what this couple can share, but as your therapist, I would rest better knowing you walk away from our time together with your tool chest full. " He tucked a stand of his long hair behind his ear. "This is not something I expect to be done soon. The couple I have in mind has a long waiting list in the community. I'm thinking by the time you are ready to walk away from our agreement, you'll be ready for them." He sat the iPad down on the table beside him. "It is only something I want you to contemplate."

Bella felt a fine sweat break out across her skin, uncertainty as to what a mentorship would imply.

"Bella, breathe," Marcus's calm voice washed over her. "Without sharing too much, I know you would feel comfortable with them, once you meet them. Mentorship comes in various forms, and the female in this couple is a Fem-Dom. Her specialty and kink is bondage. She won't expect you to touch anyone other than Edward, or for anyone else to touch you, other than perhaps her helping you to learn various ways of binding Edward."

Taking a deep breath, Bella relaxed. Marcus was only asking them to consider it. He gave them a slight bow, one that reminded Bella of an ancient Japanese warrior, as they left.

Mind on what they'd talked about in the therapy session, Bella didn't even complain when Edward guided her wheelchair out of the building. She hated she'd had to use it, but knowing Jane would wear her out during the therapeutic session she'd had to swallow her pride.

"What do you think about grabbing lunch out?" Edward asked once he'd stored her chair in the trunk and slid into the driver's seat.

"Hmm . . ." She hummed in agreement.

"You remember the dinner I brought for our first date?" he asked.

She grinned evilly. "You mean the date I had to share with Mildred?"

Smirking, Edward nodded. "I thought we might go there for a change. I haven't seen Lee and Amy since I dropped by to pick up our food, because they've been on vacation. But we'll have to keep our visit a secret from Henri and Jude. Those two have been begging Lee for a cook off to determine who's the best, and they've all volunteered me as the judge. I refuse every time, because I'm not willing to make any of them mad at me and lose out on their cooking."

Remembering the spicy seafood dish Edward had brought, Bella's mouth started watering. "Sounds perfect. This is your friend from high school, right?"

"Yes. Lee and I grew up together, but we really didn't become good friends until 6th grade. We both got into skateboarding then and the friendship grew from there."

Bella's head snapped around. "Wait, what?" She was envisioning Edward in grunge wear – long flannel shirt over a ratty t-shirt, long floppy hair. The image did things for her that were sinful.

He grinned at her surprise. "There are many layers to me, Ms. Swan. Many, many layers."

"Did you listen to Nirvana too?"

"Of course!" He sniffed, to which she broke out in laughter. "It's where Jamie's love for the Seattle 10 began. Lee and I took him with us all the time to the skate park. Unfortunately, he sucked at skateboarding, even though he tried. Instead, he watched us and listened to music while he began polishing his skills at 'deduction.'"

"Deduction?" she asked, totally confused. It was obviously something funny.

 _Jamie smiled a big toothy smile. "I'm practicing the art of deduction," he replied at Edward's raised eyebrow._

 _Several pretty pre-teen girls surrounded his baby brother and giggled when Edward walked up to the picnic table where Jamie was holding court. Brushing the long hair out of his eyes, Edward smiled at them. They were way too young for him, and for Jamie they were ancient._

" _Deduction?" Edward asked._

" _Yeah, you know, what Emmett and Jasper said they're learning from Dad. The art of deduction."_

 _Chuckling, Edward ruffled Jamie's blond hair, making it stick up in clumps. "Seduction, not deduction."_

" _Oh," Jamie said, his eyes going wide. He grinned at the young girls around him. "I'm practicing to be the master of seduction."_

"Is that what you're practicing on me? Deduction?" Bella teased when Edward finished telling the story about Jamie.

The teasing on his face morphed into something hot and meaningful. "If I can seduce you like my father has done my mother over the years, I'll consider it a job well done."

The breath caught in Bella's chest at Edward's words, rendering her speechless for the short trip to his friend's restaurant.

~Honor~

They were almost back home before Bella ventured the question that had been haunting her since Marcus spoke it. "What did you think about Marcus's idea of us meeting with that couple?"

Edward was silent for a minute, but she waited patiently.

"I'm at war with myself. Like I've told you, up until now, I would've never thought I had a submissive bone in my body, and the lifestyle is something I've never given consideration. But I wouldn't be fully honest with you if I didn't say our experiences have intrigued me. I get primed the minute I see that look in your eyes. So in considering that, I'm very interested. But the alpha male in me doesn't want this other man seeing or touching you. And I don't know how it would work considering your responses to touch. So that part confuses me. And you?"

Bella sighed in relief. Edward had come close to putting into words her exact feelings. "Ditto. I know so little about the BDSM lifestyle, other than what has been made popular with movies and stuff. But the idea of finding out more ways of tying you up definitely intrigues me."

She felt a wave of heat engulf her and saw Edward's hands twitch against the wheel.

"See, right there, that's why I would consider it," he said in a low, gruff voice. "The worst that can happen is it doesn't fit for us, and we back away."

Bella nodded. "We'd have to set some hard and fast rules for contact. I'd have to tell the woman about me." The thought brought a dark shadow to Bella's face. Edward grabbing her hand and squeezing it restored some of her equilibrium.

"We've got time to figure it out, Bella. Plenty of time."

By some unspoken agreement, Bella and Edward entered his apartment, not hers. Rolling up to the kitchen table, Bella placed the takeout containers holding their desserts on top before putting the leftovers in his refrigerator.

Yawning, Edward reached into the freezer and pulled out coffee beans. "The night will catch up to me if I don't get an injection of caffeine. You want java, or should I put some tea on for you?"

Considering the thick slab of chocolate cake she had for dessert, she said, "Coffee's perfect."

She angled around him to get forks and grab some napkins. It all seemed so domestic, until Edward put a pad of paper and two envelopes in front of her, doing the same in front of his coffee mug.

"I don't know about you, but I had plans that included me being strapped to my bed. Marcus giving us an assignment like this put a serious damper on them." He sat and took a deep drink of his coffee. " _Before you're intimate again_." His mimicry was an almost perfect reproduction of Marcus's accent.

Bursting out in laughter, Bella slid the two containers of desserts between them, offering Edward a fork. "Let's share . . ." she nodded to the yummy goodness in the Styrofoam " . . .then let's share," she nodded to the envelopes.

"Sounds good." He smiled, and she felt relief he was willing to go ahead with the less risky of the two revelations.

Silence reigned as they worked.

While Bella had no problem folding the one sheet of paper, her hands shook as she sealed the "red" envelope. _What would Edward think of her?_ she wondered.

Luckily, they had as much time as they needed, because she was a long way from living that one out. Edward still worked on his, and it made her wonder how detailed he was being. Lust prickled along her skin as she contemplated how filthy he really could be at times. His words were always shocking her, in the best of ways. Surprisingly, he folded the sheet he'd completed first and placed it in the envelope. The one he'd taken the longest on was the one he left folded before him.

Between them, they'd finished off the desserts and a pot of coffee.

"Let me visit the restroom first before we talk," Bella requested.

When Edward turned to go to the kitchen with the dirty dishes, he missed Bella's pleased grin. While she did need to go to the bathroom, she really wanted the privacy to set up the restraints for Edward. She had every intention of finishing what she'd started. When she returned, he'd placed an ice-cold water on the table for her. He had to have heard her shuffling around in his bedroom, but he never asked what she'd been doing.

"You first or me?" he asked as soon as they sat back down.

Bella nodded to him and giggled when he made a "bok, bok" noise, effectively calling her a chicken. It didn't stop him from opening the paper, though.

"My fantasy is to be allowed the privilege of giving you multiple orgasms until you pass out from the pleasure." He glanced up with a wicked look. "It would start with you naked on my bed. I wouldn't bind you like you do me, but you'd be positioned on your stomach, legs and arms spread wide. But like me, you would be required to remain perfectly still, so it would be all on you to do so for as long as you can. Your feet would be the first place I'd start."

Tracing his fingertips across his jaw, Edward said, "I'd used the rasp of my beard to run across the tops and bottoms of your feet to make them sensitive first before I applied the correct mix of massage and pressure to make you come."

At her snort, he captured her gaze. "Oh ye of little faith." An unholy light gleamed in his eyes. "In medical school, I had this broad-minded professor. He believed any good doctor should recognize the contributions of thousands of years of medical practice. We were required to do a study on an ancient form of treatment. I chose reflexology. I _can_ make you come Bella, just from a massage. I'd make sure every muscle in your body was relaxed before I focused on your hands or feet, whichever I found had the most promise. But come you would, when I applied the right techniques and pressure."

She almost called him out on his boast, but decided to allow him to continue so she could hear the rest.

"That would be the first of many," he stated softly with conviction. "The first one to loosen you up really, because I'd become so much more demanding. I want to feel your muscles bunch and roll under my touch, to bite the inside of your knee – right where the flesh is tender. On your inner thighs, your lips."

Desire swamping her from the images brought forth by his words, Bella shifted in need, but attempted to hide it from him. She wasn't successful, and Edward grinned at the sound of the wood of her chair creaking.

"I'd soothe your skin after. I promise. But I'd have to torture you a little. Because when I say I want to give you as many orgasms as possible, I mean with my hands, lips, and tongue. This fantasy doesn't involve my dick, other than the fact I'll be as fucking hard as a rock while I'm doing it. This one is all about you. To remind you sex can be something other than inserting A into B. When I'm done, all you'll be able to do is go to sleep."

He smoothed the paper out on the table before he slid it over to her. "There are details here, if you want to know every single place I plan to brand you with my touch, but I'd rather show you."

Bella couldn't hold back a groan and asked in a husky voice, "What about you afterward?"

"I'll jack off in the shower imagining that I'm doing it on you."

Her eyes widened immensely at several of the very graphic details he'd included on the paper. "What do you get out of this, Edward? Why the focus on me, versus what I can do to you?"

Edward's smile was so big you'd thought he'd won a million dollars. "Bella, you're already fucking given me all those fantasies one at a time now. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride." He leaned toward her and a current seemed to arc between them, electrifying her skin. His pupils were enlarged and a faint flush covered his cheeks. "This is about me getting my hands on you. That is my fantasy. I can't wait to find out what you taste like, to nibble at your nipples, and to lick the sweat from your neck as I fuck you." He tapped the paper with his index finger. "Accomplishing a good, orgasm-inducing massage on you is the first step in me getting to my goal." He waggled his eyes at her, doing a much better impression of a lecher than she'd done earlier. "I promise you, once I get my hands on you, you are going to fucking crave me afterward."

 _As if I don't already_ , Bella thought as she reached for her paper. Edward was so much better with words that she felt like a wimp with what she'd wrote.

"I'm going to pre-empt this by saying you interrupted one of my top fantasies the other morning, so if I had to list one, giving you head would be right up there." She blushed, unfolding the paper. "So, um, mine is silly compared to yours."

Edward's eyebrows rose at her hesitation, and being the "bok, bok" he'd teased her of being, she slid her paper to him.

The sound he made when he read what she'd written down caused every nerve in her to alight. Eyes on fire, he bit his lip.

"A doctor fetish. My, my." He clucked his tongue at her. "I can so make that happen." He shifted on his seat much like she had. "Fuck, now I won't be able to walk into anywhere in the hospital without thinking about how I could take you against the door, over one of the tables, or in the locker room. Damn . . . way to torture me there, babe."

Bella hadn't thought about it in that manner, but the idea she could sexually taunt him throughout the day, even when she wasn't around, pleased her immensely. Putting the back of her hand to her forehead, she weakly said, "Please, doctor, I think you need to check my heart. I'm feeling faint." She made sure to pull the side of her button down shirt far enough back to show the lace of her bra.

He lunged quicker than she could squeak, pressing his lips to the skin above her pounding heart. It was the fastest move he'd made around her, and she didn't have time for any fear to possibly arise, because the feel of his lips against her skin burnt any hesitancy away. Grabbing the back of his hair, she held him to her breast as he knelt between her spread legs. She gasped when he bit her skin lightly, then laved the sting away with his tongue.

"I'll have to do a thorough examination later, but my preliminary assessment is that you are a hot as fuck."

She snickered at his humor, even while her eyes rolled back in her head at the sensual pleasure of his touch. "Stand up," she murmured as he moved his lips slowly back and forth across the small patch of skin he worried.

"Yes, ma'am," he whispered, rising gracefully from between her legs.

While he stood perfectly still between her legs, she placed her hand over the erection straining his jeans directly in front of her face and traced the hard length. All kidding aside, Bella allowed the feel of him, the heat, and the sounds of his heaving chest to surround her.

"Go get naked, Edward."

~Honor~

I know, I know – I'm not being an intentional cock block. I just realized that this chapter would be 10,000 words if I went with what I'm envisioning, and there was no way I'd do that to my beta – nor I wouldn't have had it all ready to post for this week. Please forgive.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. And to NanStew who helped me out with this chapter – you were so sweet and I can't thank you enough. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

 **PLEASE READ** \- So, many of you know that there is a campaign to donate money to the GoCampaign for Robert's birthday. And as many of you also know, I wrote a book that I thought to try and publish, but, for personal reasons, decided not to. It is called Apathy. Just like I did in my Mother Father story, I make this proposal . . . go donate money to the Go Campaign in Robert's name then send me a copy of the receipt (your pertinent personal data blacked out), and I'll send you my book - Apathy. Even if you've already donated, I'll send you one with the receipt. It'll be a PDF copy, but there is no wait as I finally received the copyright back. You can reach me at content1akaapril at gmail dot com.

Supporting charities is a big part of my personal beliefs, so when the idea was laid upon my heart a couple of months ago, I felt such a relief that the months I spent writing two totally new characters wasn't going to go to utter waste. I'll put the book description below. If you don't know about the Go Campaign, you can find the link at: gocampaign dot org (backslash)wegoforrob(backslash)

And now to our lovers.

~Honor~

 _She snickered at his humor, even while her eyes rolled back in her head at the sensual pleasure of his touch. "Stand up," she murmured as he moved his lips slowly back and forth across the small patch of skin he worried._

" _Yes, ma'am," he whispered, rising gracefully._

 _While he stood perfectly still between her legs, she placed her hand over the erection straining his jeans directly in front of her face and traced the hard length. All kidding aside, Bella allowed the feel of him, the heat, and the sounds of his heaving chest to surround her._

" _Go get naked, Edward."_

~Honor~

When Bella entered his bedroom, Edward stood naked by the bed. At her cocked eyebrow, he said, "You didn't tell me to make myself comfortable, so I assumed I needed to wait for further instruction."

Bella just grinned and her reaction sent chills racing across his skin.

"Shopping trip?" he asked when she joined him.

Bella had wondered if he would mention the broad leather pieces she'd laid out. "It's a chest restraint." She picked up two shorter, but just as wide pieces and held them up. "I can attach these to your biceps, then the bicep cuffs to the chest piece. It'll restrain your arm movement. Your other cuffs . . ." she trailed her fingertips across his wrist ". . . can also be attached to the front of your chest." She smirked at him. "It'll give me the options to keep you tightly bound or give you a small range of motion with your arms, but we won't have to keep you flat on your back."

Edward licked his lips in anticipation of what that could mean.

"Hands to me," she ordered, drawing a shocked gasp from him.

She'd always tied his legs first before getting near his arms and hands. And it was without fail when he was lying down. Now, he stood tall over her without a stitch of clothing on, his erection jutting out towards her without shame. Bella took her time placing the restraints on his wrists, running her fingers along the edge of the black leather and across his skin.

Edward knew it was part of her torture, because every touch electrified him and made him ache for the day he'd be able to touch her.

Shivering in delight at Edward's trembling, she looked up to find his desire darkened eyes watching her every movement. She allowed her fingers to slowly brush down his stomach and across the head of his cock. Bringing them to her mouth, she watched him as she tasted the liquid that coated the tips.

"Fuck," he muttered, but remained perfectly still.

"I intend to have more than just a taste before you leave here. Remember how it felt to have my lips wrapped around you, Edward?"

He groaned, and she saw him swallow. "Yes."

"Well, just imagine how it'll feel as you come down my throat."

While Edward remained as still as a statue, his cock did all the talking. Bella watched as it twitched and pre-cum leaked out of him.

"Arms out," she directed and appreciated the view when he raised them cross style.

Slowly, dragging her fingers across his chest and ribs, Bella circled Edward, coming to stand behind him. "I really like the look of the black leather on you," she told him as she leaned in close to run her tongue across his back.

Edward jerked at her caress, but didn't say anything.

Trailing her fingers down his backbone, she grinned when he gasped. But his growl of pleasure was loud when she palmed his ass, squeezing the tight muscles there. Continuing her pattern, she moved under his raised arm and trailed her fingers tantalizingly around to rest her palm against his rapidly beating heart as she came to stand before him again.

Reaching to the bed, she picked up the broad chest strap. "I'm going to put this on you, but unfortunately, it will cover your nipples. I want you to stand very still, because I want to taste them before I strap it around you."

A puff of air escaped Edward's lips. "I need to restrain my arms, Bella."

She nodded and watched with interest as he linked his hands behind his back. Legs apart, arms stretched behind him emphasizing his lean muscles, cock hard and jutting out, his copper hair in disarray, and green eyes blazing. Edward made a mouth-watering picture.

"I would love to take a picture of you like this," Bella admitted and watch as a myriad of emotions washed across his face. She grinned when he didn't tell her "No." "Another time," she said and watched as the hot desire in his face increased. "My, my. Mr. Cullen, I'm beginning to believe you might be an exhibitionist."

His chuckle was harsh. The sound morphed into something darker when she leaned forward and captured one of his tight nipples with her teeth, running her tongue across the flesh caught between them.

"Fuck!" he shouted and began shaking when she grabbed his hips with her hands, pulling them closer together. The leather of the restraint brushed across his hip and upper thighs igniting him as if it were her fingers. Shaking, Edward closed his eyes against the pleasure, focusing on the burn in his cock to keep from reaching for her. He was stunned that she thought he had this much control. Did she not know how badly he wanted to reach for her, to run his hands across her skin, to bite her, to sink between her thighs?

 _Be still, be still, be still,_ he silently chanted, counting the beats of his heart by the throbbing of his cock.

Sweat broke out across his forehead when she dug her nails into his skin, holding his hips still. The burn threatened to throw him over the edge. Just as he was about to speak the word "yellow," Bella released him, placing a soft kiss to his tortured skin.

Nudging his arms up slightly, she wrapped the leather harness around his chest. If he'd thought the way she'd nibbled on him was torturous, her breasts nipples hard nubs under the material of her shirt, being pressed to him while she reached to pull the leather around was excruciating. The feel of the leather cinching his chest as she secured the buckle had him gasping for breath. It wasn't the compression of the leather against his ribs that took it from him, but the feeling of freedom. He shuddered in anticipation, knowing it was just one step closer to her touching him, or him touching her. Bowing his head at the feel of her fingertips against him, Edward bit his bottom lip as she slid the cuffs around his upper arms. Through the fog of his lust, he counted each click as Bella locked the cuffs on his upper arm to the side rings on the chest and then took his wrists in her hands before attaching them to the front. It left him bound in prayer like fashion.

"I can release your arms or your wrists, as I see fit," she explained.

Cracking his eyes open, Edward shook his head slightly. "Or you could just go ahead and tie me to this bed so that I can take advantage of you," he said in a voice close to a growl.

Smirking, Bella slapped his thigh. The sting obviously did nothing to help cool Edward's ardor because Bella watched his pupils dilate to where his eyes appeared entirely black. Reaching slowly, she eased the top button of her shirt open.

Edward's focus was instantly glued to the pale patch of skin revealed.

Bella's heart felt as if it was going to beat out of her chest. Once she'd had no qualms about someone seeing her naked, but now, the scars from her surgery stood out vividly against her skin. And while her sense of self had never come from her looks, she wasn't naïve enough not to recognize the root of her nervousness.

A hiss sounded from between his lips when the she hit the second button and the dusky blue color of her bra became apparent. She watched him watching her and the way the skin over his cheekbones tightened even further made her feel powerful. His fingers clenching into fists above the black of the leather was aesthetically stunning.

Bella finished the last buttons, allowing the shirt to hang open for just a few moments before she shrugged the material off and allowed it to fall to the floor.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he said roughly, his eyes scanning the flesh above and below her bra.

She glanced down shyly, a small smirk on her lips.

"You are Bella. Beautiful inside and out."

She looked up to be ensnared by his eyes.

Edward waited patiently for her to continue and was richly rewarded. The twist and sway of her hips as she gently pushed her jeans off was as erotic a dance as any he'd ever seen. She gracefully stepped away from the pants, leaving her before him clad only in a matching blue satin bikini and bra. Flawless skin covered her from the top of her head to her toes . . . except for the scarring at her hip and on her leg. Squaring off her shoulders, Bella tossed her hair behind her. The pose was far from planned or voluptuous. It was a warrior's stance, and he wondered just how much it cost her to bare herself in this manner.

Humbled, he lowered to his knees before her.

Edward heard Bella yelp in surprise, but he remained perfectly still, head down. When she touched him, the fine trembling of her hand drove him crazy. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he knew that it would be too much. All he could give her in this moment was his respect.

"I need to touch you, Bella. To kiss your scars."

He heard her sob, but didn't move until he felt her fingers thread through his hair and give a gentle tug. Encouraged, he moved slowly to place his cheek against the soft skin of her stomach.

"I think they are perhaps the most beautiful part of you. And while you may disagree, I see them as badges of honor . . . a testament to who you are . . . your strength . . . your dignity . . . your perseverance." When she didn't stop him, he slid until his lips hovered above the first scar. There, he nuzzled her gently, growing bolder when she didn't jerk away. Determined to cover every inch of the map of scars covering her hip and upper leg, Edward pressed his lips to the raised skin, risking an occasional swipe of his tongue in adoration. Unhurried, he attempted to funnel every ounce of emotion and want he had into his touch, branding her as his in the only way he could. When he was through, there was not inch of marred skin that he hadn't traced, loved, cherished.

Fueled by the feel of him touching her, Bella's trembling had ceased. She'd never felt more aroused and desire burned harshly within her. She needed to touch him.

"On the bed," she ordered.

She could've sworn she heard him say, "Thank fuck" as he rose gracefully.

He even made the slide back onto the bed, one he couldn't aid by using his arms, look sexy. Spreading his legs slightly, he readied for Bella to attach the leg cuffs.

"I'm leaving your legs unbound," she told him, drawing a startled gasp.

"Bella?" A myriad of questions were held in her name.

"I'm sure, Edward. Another step forward, right?"

He didn't reply because he'd been struck speechless again when she removed her bra and underwear.

Long legs, for such a petite frame, a toned waist, high breasts, and lustrous dark hair between her legs, Bella was the epitome of perfection to him. Drinking in his fill, Edward surveyed every spot he wanted to touch, planning his strategy for conquering her when he was finally allowed. Visions of her legs wrapped around his hips as he pounded into her tortured him with delightful promises. A myriad of ideas of how he could bring them pleasure fired his desire as he continued to gaze upon her beauty.

Overwhelmed with his first sight of her naked, he almost missed the opportunity to tell her something important, but with great effort, he rallied the few brain cells that hadn't gone south. "Wait!" he finally managed just as she crawled onto the bed and straddled him.

"Wait?" Bella raised an eyebrow at him.

Edward had to swallow hard to concentrate. Bella's breasts were perfect and he couldn't think much farther than the fact they were on the bed naked together. The brush of her soft skin against his was maddening.

"I just wanted to say something quickly. I have a plan for the first time we make love, so I want to call dibs on planning it. I don't want it to be an in-the-moment thing, okay?"

Bella giggled, which caused her to vibrate against him in an enticing manner. "Giving me orders now, Edward?"

The devilish look on his face was enough to make Bella's spirits soar. This man was a one in a million. How many men would be so chivalrous about what she'd been putting him through and still want to romance her?

"Maybe a little one." He shrugged his shoulders, which caused the links on his bindings to jingle. Bella noticed that goosebumps rose across his skin like hers at the sound. His green eyes blazed with sincerity. "It's important to me, Bella. I want it to be special."

Grabbing the leather across his chest, she pulled him up so their faces were just inches apart.

"I promise to tell you when I'm ready and the first night we make love will be all yours, Edward."

Ecstatic, he leaned forward, capturing her lips with his. The kiss he gave her was scorching and she was gasping for breath by the time he released her. Bella pushed hard against his chest and following her direction, Edward fell back onto the mattress with force.

"But for now, I'm in charge," she said with a giggle.

A wolfish smile crossed his face. "I would spread my arms wide and say I'm all yours . . . but it seems I'm a little tied up at the moment, so do your worst."

"Oh, I plan to," she said before pulling the small white container to her and swiping a path of Edward scented gel across her upper lip.

She pulled two of his pillows closer and urged him to sit up. Tucking them behind him, she settled Edward into a reclining position. At his inquisitive and hopeful look, she captured the curve of his neck, right at the tender spot. Nipping it, she spoke softly, as if she was speaking a great secret.

"And now, I'm going to be a selfish bitch. Because I fully intend to make my fantasy a reality."

While Edward had suspected this is where the moment was going, he couldn't control the jolt her words brought on. His cock throbbed between them and he wanted to weep when Bella chuckled. He did groan when she inched her way down, kissing above the leather that restrained him before nibbling at his fingers. He almost came when she sucked his finger and jumped when she bit the tip. Next, she toyed with his bellybutton, making him squirm before she moved on.

It was when she hovered above him that Edward stilled. Her hot breath washed over his cock and he swelled even more in anticipation.

"No moving," she ordered.

She heard Edward curse slightly and grinned when he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Unh uh . . . eyes open. I want you to watch what I'm doing to you."

She shivered at the look in his eyes. If his hands had been loose, Bella doubted Edward would have been able to keep from grabbing her. It didn't escape her notice that the thought didn't scare her. Pleased at the notion, she softly ran her fingers across the head of his cock and barely held back a groan when she felt a spurt of wetness.

"Bella . . ." he said softly. "Baby, I'm not going to hold out long if you touch me. You've got me too worked up already."

"Hmm . . . let's test your theory."

His strangled breath was his only response as she lowered to his cock, running her tongue from the base to the tip. She circled his head in a way that his hands clenched, causing the leather to creak. The sound of his captivity fueled her. He was all satin over steel as she traced the lines of his blood vessels with her tongue, mapping out the touches that made him moan. Over and over, Bella sucked on him, forcing his cock deeper into her mouth with each attempt.

The entire time, Edward watched, his breath growing harsher as lust and love mingled.

Determined to make him lose control, Bella went for his balls, lightly running her fingers over them before darting her tongue out to lick them. Sliding one of them into her mouth, she lightly suckled.

He cried out. It was one of the most erotic moments of Edward's life – right up there with their first kiss. Certainly others had performed this act on him, but this was Bella, and she was gifting him with her trust.

It made it so much more.

He wanted to slip his fingers into her hair, to hold her. He knew it would feel silky and he wanted to tighten his fingers in the strands and control her, but he couldn't, making the moment even more sensual.

She licked a path from his balls to the base of his erection. Continuing to his head, she looked up to see if he was still watching her. Seeing his crazed eyes, she grinned before slipping his cock back into her mouth.

Edward groaned and wanted to close his eyes at the sensation, but he held her gaze as she'd commanded. Mesmerized, he couldn't take his eyes off her as she swirled her tongue at the same time as she moved her head up and down. Edward felt the power of his orgasm coursing through his body, pooling in his groin, threatening to rob him of sanity. Feeling his balls lift, he tightened and then groaned when she let him slide out of her mouth and flicked her tongue across his head quickly.

"No holding back, Edward," she commanded.

If he'd been capable of making any noise, he would've laughed. If she thought he had one ounce of control at this moment, she was wrong. He could only focus on the wet heat of her mouth and the carnal sight of her dining on him.

Wrapping her fingers around his cock, Bella lowered her head, taking him to the back of her throat and wrapping her fingers around what she couldn't.

A primal plea was torn from deep inside Edward, but the fire burning him had wiped him of any civility. Helpless to remain still, Edward's hips rose, earning a chuckle from Bella. The vibrations went straight through his cock as Bella hollowed out her cheeks with the force of her sucking. The combination was like a lighting strike and Edward shouted Bella's name as his orgasm erupted. He shuddered as she continued to hold his cock in her mouth, draining him of come and licking him clean until he collapsed.

He barely felt her unclip the leather cuffs restraining his arms and hands. It was only when she laid her head on his chest that he found the strength to gently run his fingertips through the ends of her hair. He was careful not to tug or do anything but caress the ends, but it was enough for now.

"Bella?"

Bella recognized the question in his voice. "I'm not ready yet, Edward. I know you want to touch me. Just give me a little more time, okay?"

Edward tapped down the disappointment that reared its head. He wanted to know if he'd done anything to cause her hesitancy, but knew it was not the time to question. He had to trust in their connection and honesty to believe Bella would tell him when she felt ready. Squeezing her softly, he kissed the side of her head. "Yes, mistress."

Edward didn't even attempt to control the grin on his face when she pinched his side at his saucy reply.

~Honor~

They crawled out of bed not long afterward. Edward waited for Bella to go first, believing she would want to be far away from his naked, unrestrained body. To his great surprise, Bella reached for his arm and pulled him flush to her, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Bella, can I hug you back?"

"Yeah."

The feel of her naked against him didn't escape his cock's attention, but she and he both ignored his burgeoning erection, sinking into the comfort of each other's arms. Neither felt the need to speak about how significant the intimate contact between them was.

"You mentioned the other night about a foot rub. You still up for that?" Bella asked against his chest.

He chuckled before asking, "Can I hope that you are requesting the full-blown Edward special where I'm guaranteed to make you scream out my name, instead of just your basic foot rub?"

Edward smiled at her giggle.

"While I look forward to the day of Edward-induced foot coma, I think just a basic foot rub for now."

He sighed dramatically, causing her giggles to increase. "I'm just a man, so I had to give it a try." Squeezing Bella softly before releasing her, Edward stepped back. Glancing over to his bedside table, he noted the time. "It's still early to actually go to bed, so let's just meet on your couch."

Having already noticed the dark circles under Edward's eyes, Bella shook her head. "It's not too early. Let's meet in my bed and call it a night."

"Seriously?" He looked over at the clock again.

"Yeah. I want to cuddle."

Excitement filled Edward's face and he quickly kissed her lips. "Perfect."

~Honor~

Bella groaned when Edward hit a spot she didn't even know was sore. It was just below her heel and it felt like fire seared her for a moment before the pain faded away. He'd spent at least thirty minutes on her other foot and she felt like a wet noodle from the experience. She couldn't stifle the moans that came from deep inside her as he continued to apply painful pleasure.

"Okay, I'm beginning to believe your lofty statements about your foot rubs." Bella sniffed as if it was a great concession.

He chuckled, running his thumb along her arch. "I'm good with my hands. Trust me, I'm a doctor."

A short bark of laughter precipitated her response. "That sounded so cheesy."

"Boy, that is a word I haven't heard in a long time. It used to be Emmett's favorite thing to say."

"Cheesy?" Bella questioned.

"Yeah."

"I picked it up from my dad. He tries to be so cool, but fails to recognize his perpetually uncool status - a small town law officer who's still stuck in the 80's." She snickered. "Don't even ask him about his music collection or you'll learn all about the hair bands." She grinned as a vision of Charlie in his Poison t-shirts filled her mind. God, she loved him.

Bella sighed when Edward hit another sore spot. That one she was blaming all on "Jane the Witch".

Edward's fingers kept venturing north of her ankle and hitting her calf muscles. He thought he was being so sneaky, with all the stolen caresses, but since they felt so good, she didn't feel the need to call him on it. "I imagine growing up with three brothers was kinda fun," she said, thinking of what Edward had said about the oldest sibling of the group.

Rolling his eyes, Edward snarked, "Yeah, it was quite a joy."

"I can't even imagine what it was like for Jamie to come around so much later than the three of you."

Smiling, Edward hummed as he slid his hands up and down her lower leg. It should've set off every one of Bella's warning bells, but it didn't. "Jamie was the life of the party, no matter where he went. Being the baby, he was definitely everyone's favorite. He certainly kept mom and dad busy with all his shenanigans." Using his thumb, Edward smoothed across the inside of her ankle, and Bella barely restrained herself from jumping.

"Ticklish?"

"A little."

"No problem, I'm almost done anyway, particularly since you won't let me talk you into something different."

Bella patted the pillow at her side and after washing his hands, Edward lay down with her. She immediately cuddled into his side.

"I always wanted a sister, but Jake filled my need for a brother. When he started dating Leah, she became my sister."

"How old were you when you and Jacob met?"

"I don't ever remember him not being there. There are pictures of me holding him when he was a baby. I was a little over a year old." She ran her fingertips in small circles above the beating of Edward's heart. "His sisters are a lot older, so Jake and I became it for one another. He's been my best friend and brother rolled into one. People thought it was strange and that we'd end up together as teenagers . . . but Ewh!"

She said it in such a disgusted tone that Edward laughed. "He's a handsome man and you're gorgeous, so I can see why they'd think that. Particularly with the strong bond the two of you have. Was it weird for Leah?"

He felt her nod against his chest. "Yeah, at first. But once she spent some time with us together, she figured it out quickly. Jake was always running interference with guys that wanted to date me, so he was a total pain in the ass."

"Too funny, Jamie was always trying to set me up, and it seems like Jacob was doing exactly the opposite with you. Jamie used to tease me I was going to die a virgin."

"But you weren't."

He laughed out loud at her statement. "Not since the whole two second fiasco I told you about, but he liked to tease, saying I must have been 'revirginated' in medical school."

"Revirginated?"

"His word. He made it up after Dad caught him in the act in our pool house."

"What?" Bella exclaimed with a chuckle, lifting up on her arm to see Edward's face.

Even in the dim lights, she could see the twinkle in Edward's eyes. "Yeah, you would've thought that Dad would yell and scream, but instead he brought Jamie into the house and made him sit through an hour long lesson on human sexuality. He pulled out his medical books and showed Jamie all the nasties that come along with unprotected sex."

" _James, this is what your penis looks like with Syphilis." Carlisle pulled out a particularly gruesome picture and Edward, Emmett, and Jasper watched as Jamie squirmed on the seat that their father had made his youngest sit upon. "Your dick is going to burn like the fires of hell have been set loose on it."_

 _Carlisle flipped to the next page. "And this is what Gonorrhea-"_

" _Dad! Okay, okay! I got it."_

" _Good!" Carlisle threw a box of condoms down on his son's lap. "Because the next time I find out you didn't use one of these while having sex, I'm going into more detail. I might just take you down to the free clinic and let you listen to the stories."_

 _Emmett squirmed beside Edward. He was still mentally scared from his trip to Carlisle's clinic._

" _Pregnancy, while not ideal, is something we can deal with. Some of these beasties aren't as easy to manage. It's bad enough that responsible people are lied to by the ones they have sex with, but in addition to dealing with the betrayals, people have to come in every day to the hospital as a result of the infections they've caught."_

 _Jamie looked down at the box, his shoulders hunched._

" _Now, since you didn't use protection with Cindy, you've coming to the office for a full checkup and blood work. And you're going to tell your mother why."_

 _Jamie jerked back in the chair, his eyes wide._

 _Jasper nudged Edward, attempting to control his laughter. Esme was the ultimate threat to any of them._

" _And when all that is done, I need to talk to you about your technique, because damn, son, why would any girl want what I saw you offering?"_

 _Jamie went white as Edward, Jasper, and Emmett burst out laughing. They'd all been victims of Carlisle's lectures and assessments. The sexually transmitted disease issue was bad enough, but when their dad critiqued their styles of wooing women, it turned mortifying._

" _I didn't even see one candle . . ." Carlisle started as Jamie slumped down in the chair._

Bella was laughing so hard that tears fell from her eyes at the story Edward shared. She snorted as she imagined a younger Jamie receiving sex instruction from his father.

"Jamie swore the lecture our father gave him 'revirginated' him for a year afterward."

Finally getting her mirth under control, Bella let out one last snicker. "So, I'm thinking Grandpa Carlisle should lecture any kids we might have."

She felt Edward go still at her words and waited for his reaction. A soul stealing kiss is what she got.

"And just for kicks, I think our first born son should be named James," she added when she finally had the breath to talk.

A growl rumbled low in Edward's chest. "Enough woman, we need sleep."

Bella smiled at his demanding tone and yawned.

It was only minutes later that twilight spread its dusky cover into the room, shrouding the two lovers protectively as they slept peacefully, snuggled together.

~Honor~

Hope you enjoyed and please don't forget about the Go Campaign!

Apathy by A. Breed - A serial killer is taking the hearts of affluent women in Atlanta and the FBI has called in their specialist, Katherine Byrd, to aid their investigation. Helping Allain Boudreaux, an agent from New Orleans who has similar murders of his own to solve, Katherine must use her supernatural gift to help provide clues. Experiencing the victims' deaths when she touches them, Katherine attempts to keep the FBI agents in the dark about the true cost of her help: the pain each memory causes her. In a race against time, Katherine and Allain track the enigmatic killer while battling their attraction to each other. When the killer strikes again, will Katherine become his next victim, or will Allain and the other FBI agents be able to save her?


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. And to NanStew who has helped me immensely. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

It seems I scared/insulted a few readers with last week's chapter. I promise this isn't a BDSM story, nor will it become one, but using the technique of desensitization through bondage is something I did choose when I was convinced to expand the original one-shot. Trust me, I am fully aware that I am totally unqualified to write a true BDSM story - and hence why I have someone with expertise helping me with those aspects of the story. I hate that several readers stated they would never return to the story. *Sad face* - but for those that did, thank you!

And to each reader – Happy Mother's Day! To current moms, grandmoms, future moms, and even those that may never choose to be (or can be) a mom . . . I hope you have the best of days!

~Honor~

Bella reached for Edward before she was entirely awake, only to discover the bed empty beside her. Pushing up, she gazed toward the bathroom, but it was the sounds coming from the kitchen area that gave away his location. Grabbing a hair band from the side table, she threw her hair up in a messy bun. Clad only in the tank top and sleep shorts she'd worn to bed, she grabbed her cane and slowly made her way to find him. Morning was always the hardest, her bones and muscles screaming in discomfort after a night of inactivity.

Shocked at the sound of Edward's soft singing voice, Bella stopped at the doorway leading between her bedroom and living space to enjoy. The man gave most of the pop stars she heard on the radio a run for their money. Bent over her lowered stove, he flipped bacon before turning to the eggs he had sizzling.

Bella took the time to admire him. He wore only pajama bottoms, and it gave her time to ogle the sleek lines of his back while he cooked for them. She smiled when he turned, plates in hand, to catch her watching him.

"Morning, beautiful," he murmured setting down their food on the table before giving her a saucy wink.

Unable to withstand his draw, she walked toward their breakfast. She'd barely sat down before he was back with orange juice and a bowl of fruit.

"Hmmm . . . I could get used to this," Bella murmured. "But I have to say I missed waking up to you."

Edward leaned over to kiss her forehead before moving to take his seat. "I told you that I survive on less sleep, so when I woke up, you shouldn't find it hard to believe I needed to get moving. Staying in bed with you would've only tortured me."

Bella grinned at his silly smile, unwilling to harass him just yet. After a short blessing they turned to the simple food.

"Alice called and wanted us to go out with her, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett tonight. Mom and Dad are keeping the kids overnight, so they want to do a nice dinner and a club afterward. You don't have anything early tomorrow do you?"

"No, I made sure to keep my schedule open since it was your day off," Bella responded as she nibbled on a piece of bacon.

Edward's eyes darkened as he watched her, but he tore his gaze away and cleared his throat. His reaction to her made Bella snicker, and he saw his corresponding smirk.

"I want to dance with you tonight. You think you'll be able to handle it?"

Bella nodded. "I'll take a nap later, and if I use my wheelchair for dinner, I should have the energy to at least attempt it."

"We'll take a nap, and all I want is one slow dance. I'll consider anything after that a bonus." He waggled his eyebrows at her, making Bella laugh.

Slow dance . . . she imagined his arms around her, their bodies aligned. Dissecting her emotions, she recognized a sliver of fear and forced it away.

He called her name softly. "If it's too much, let me know, but I thought after last night, we could at least try."

Bella took a deep breath and nodded. "Are you okay with last night – the way I bound you?"

She expected him to immediately say yes, but that he seemed to consider her question made her feel better.

"I am. I have to admit to being shocked about the fact you didn't tie me down. That was a big step. Was it having my arms tied completely that made it work for you?"

Gnawing at her bottom lip, Bella gave his question as much consideration as he had given hers. "Yeah. I didn't want to keep you tied, because I could see it becoming a crutch, for lack of better words." She stabbed a blueberry on her plate. "I want to be normal." Bella was unable to keep the bitterness out of the words.

Edward reached over taking her hand. "Bella, whatever works for us is normal, because it's about us. I've been upfront about my desires to touch you. We're working toward that, right?"

She nodded emphatically. "Yes!"

"Then stop worrying about it. If I'm uncomfortable with something, I promise to tell you." He squeezed her hand softly. "We have to keep being honest or this isn't going to work. I mean, any relationship should have that, but we really need to keep sharing our thoughts and feelings, or this could all go south quickly. Okay?"

"Yeah." She swallowed and grabbed the cup of coffee he'd fixed for her for a deep swallow.

"So, in the vein of being honest, I want you to know your 'inspection' of me last night was pretty hot. I've never been about being objectified, but if you want to tie me up and trace your fingers across my skin like that in the future, feel free."

Bella burst out in giggles and threw her napkin at his head. As usual, Edward had made what could've been a difficult subject easy to speak about. Crooking her finger at him, she met his lips halfway across the table for a quick kiss.

~Honor~

Turning to look at her backside in the mirror, Bella inspected the short skirt, wondering for not the first time if it was the right choice. It was the third time she'd put it on. Several other outfits lay discarded on her bed. There was definitely more skin showing than she'd allowed in a very long time, not to mention the scar running along the outside of her leg. She'd always thought her legs were one of her best features, but it was hard to feel confident with the destruction her injury and the surgeries had caused.

 _Edward has already seen them . . . loved on them . . . so what do you care?_ her inner voice sang.

Grinning, Bella ran her finger down the scar, remembering his lips there, and the way he'd nipped at the raised skin. Short skirt it was.

Throughout the day, while they'd cleaned his apartment and straightened hers, she and Edward had stolen kisses that had grown progressively more passionate and hugs that had allowed Edward's caresses to become bolder. Nap time had found them cuddled together in Bella's bed, where, by her request, she was lulled by his voice and drifted off to sleep. Rejuvenated by their catnap and her shower, she smoothed her straightened hair and checked her makeup one last time, declaring herself ready for an evening with Edward's siblings.

She grinned at the good timing when she heard the door sliding open.

"Bella, you ready?" he called from the living room.

Taking a deep breath, she walked through the archway and had to lean against the wall to keep from falling over. Edward wore a black pair of tailored slacks and matching button down. The stark outfit should've been too much; instead, it was the perfect backdrop to his inhuman beauty. Her heart raced as his eyes devoured her.

Spinning the keys around his finger, Edward let out a shrill whistle. "Damn, baby. You could've warned me," he said of her black skirt and ruby red silk halter blouse.

What she wouldn't have given to be able to wear a pair of high heels to complement the outfit. Unfortunately, ballet flats were the best she could do.

"You are absolutely stunning. I'm going to have a hard time keeping all the men off you."

Rolling her eyes at him, she was thinking what a hard time she was going to have making sure some young thing didn't try to take advantage.

He nudged his head toward her door. "C'mon sexy, let's go. My siblings have already been texting me to find out when we'll arrive."

It wasn't long before Edward was handing over the keys to a valet after retrieving her wheelchair from the trunk.

"Bella!" Alice jumped up from where she sat beside Jasper and bent down to greet Bella with a kiss to her cheek when they entered the plush restaurant.

Rose was more sedate, but she still rose up to greet them with a bright smile. Alice looked amazing in a little black dress, where Rose could've been a model in the all red number she wore. It was a testament to how warm Edward's sister-in-laws were that Bella had never felt for a moment like she was being treated like an outsider.

"It's about time you got here," Emmett teased after giving a nod to the hostess. "I was beginning to believe we might need to come rescue you. Do I need to ask what you were up to?" The giant laughed loudly at Edward's cross expression. "Bella, I'm sorry to say my little brother isn't known for his luck in the love connection." Emmett thumped his chest. "I tried, I really did."

His expression was so woebegone that Bella couldn't help but chuckle as Rose punched the side of his arm. "Shut up, you big dufus. From what I heard from one of Edward's old girlfriends, he could teach you a few things."

Emmett's mouth dropped and the group burst out in laughter just as the hostess approached them to indicate their table was open. He was still pestering Rose about what she'd heard when the waitress arrived.

"The brothers are extremely competitive. It's going to kill Emmett to think Edward is better at something than him. Particularly sex. If you want to really help torture Emmett make sure you talk about how good Edward is." Alice whispered into Bella's ear discreetly.

Bella stuttered for a moment. "Good?"

"Girlfriend, you may not have sealed the deal yet, but I can tell you've gotten close enough to howl that man's name, so make sure to let Emmett know it. Please, please, please." Alice blinked her doe eyes at Bella enticingly.

When Bella grinned in conspiracy, Alice clapped her hands slightly under the table.

"Rose is going to love you. She needs all the help she can get keeping Emmett in line. I swear the man is like an overgrown eight-year-old sometimes." Her eyes went to her silent husband beside her. "Unlike Jasper, who is too old a soul. I have to work hard to get that man in trouble."

Bella risked a glance to the handsome, quiet man.

Jasper's brilliant blue eyes twinkled when he caught Bella's attention. "Don't believe a word my darling wife tells you, Bella. She drags me into trouble daily."

Something told Bella he loved every minute of his wife's meddling. Her hypothesis was confirmed when Jasper took Alice's hand in his and raised it to his lips for a gentle kiss.

"How is the job going?" Rose asked Bella.

"It's great! Henri and Jude are the best, and I didn't realize how much I like working with the sweets." Bella took a drink of water. "But I have to say, they have more energy than I've ever had. I guess you'd have to be that way to work in the business. I know I sleep like a baby when I get home."

Their conversation came to a halt while the waiter took their orders.

"Ali and I are working on Henri and Jude's website," Rose said as soon as the waiter placed a platter of crusty bread and herbed butter down, leaving them to submit their orders and prepare the salads. "Their old one was fine, but with the changes we've made, I'm certain they'll see a significant increase in their catering requests."

Rose's face lit with pleasure as she described to the group what she and Alice had done. Lots of what she said went over Bella's head, but it was clear that Rose and Alice were extremely knowledgeable about what attracted the eye.

"How did you end up in web design?" Bella asked the women.

Jasper chuckled. "Alice has always liked to create things. She was already running a personal shopping business before she graduated from college." His tone couldn't have been prouder.

"And Rosie got her bachelor's in economics with a focus on the Internet. It was a marriage made in heaven . . ." Emmett grinned mischievously " . . . or hell."

Rosie knocked her elbow into his ribs and sent Emmett a frown. "Alice and I met just out of college."

"How?" Bella asked seeing the funny look Alice and Rose exchanged.

"We were running from bad dates." Alice snickered.

"What?"

Bella's amusement caused Edward to chuckle. He reached over to take her hand, giving it a soft squeeze. "They snuck out of a bar and fought over a cab in their attempt to get away from their dates."

"To commiserate about our awful luck, we went to the nearest coffee shop and spent the night talking. By morning, we not only knew we were going to be best friends, but we had a plan for our business outlined," Alice announced.

"And the rest is history," Rose announced with a dramatic hand gesture.

"Too funny," Bella admitted. "I guess I thought you met through dating Jasper and Emmett."

Jasper laughed softly, and the sound was intensely seductive. Alice's eyes darkened as she smiled at her husband. The love between them was so powerful it almost became a tangible thing. "No, Rosalie met Emmett first when the girls were hired to do the website for the annual fire department calendar."

"My boss insisted on this body being on the calendar cover," Emmett said, waving his hand in front of his massive chest.

He chuckled when Rose flicked water at him. "I was young and naïve back then Bella. Easily taken in by a pretty face and muscles." Rose rolled her eyes. "I ignored him at first, I promise, but the man wore my defenses down. Now look at me. Chained to this beast of a child."

"Hey!" Emmett grumped, but his broad grin belied any hurt feelings.

"And you?" Bella asked Jasper of his and Alice's beginnings.

"Emmett had asked me to join him and his new girlfriend for lunch. Little did I know Rose was bringing her friend. It was all a setup, of course, but Rose wouldn't admit it at the time." Jasper's eyes were so tortured for a moment that Bella was taken aback, but then his smile turned tender. "I saw Alice across the room. Sunlight streamed through the large windows of the café surrounding her in a halo, and I knew then she was my angel and that my life would never be the same again." He leaned over to kiss Alice's forehead. "Nothing since has changed my opinion," he whispered.

A gagging noise broke the spell wrapped around Bella, and she turned to find Emmett fake gagging.

"Sir, are you okay?" a young voice asked. It was the waiter. He looked panicked enough to drop their salads.

"Sorry, his one brain cell misfires often," Rose offered in excuse, causing the harried waiter to quickly put down their salads and run.

Laughing hysterically at Emmett's expression, Bella felt the warmth of Edward's crazy siblings and their wives surrounding her. Stealing a glance at Edward, she found him watching her with a twinkle in his eye and sighed into his hug.

~Honor~

"Hey Em," the bouncer said as he let them slide into the door over the 'Boos' and hisses of people still in line.

"He's one of the guys on Emmett's squad," Edward explained as they made their way through the entranceway to the club.

Bella had to lean in close to hear Edward, because the club was already thumping with dance music. The place was packed, and for a moment, a wave of doubt crashed over her. Skittish at the chance of being touched, she stepped closer to him, and her actions didn't escape his notice.

"Tell me if it's too much, and we'll leave immediately." His breath stirred the fine hairs around her ear, and a desire to kiss him banished the lingering doubts.

"I'm good." Steadying with the cane she was using, Bella allowed Edward to guide her through the maze of people to an area where couples and groups sat around tables. She was not surprised to see a table with a reserved placard; _Cullen_ was boldly printed on the paper. She was surprised when Emmett made sure to sit to her other side.

"You good with me here?" he asked, all signs of the goofy guy image she suspected he intentionally cultivated gone.

She nodded. Instead of feeling caged in between his immense body and Edward's tall, lanky one, she felt protected.

"Good, because I want to tell you all my stories about little Eddie. You need to know what you're getting yourself into." Emmett broke out in loud laughter when Edward growled at him.

Bella was soon to learn the Cullens took clubbing and teasing each other seriously. Edward and Jasper, as the designated drivers, refrained from alcohol after their first beer, but Edward encouraged Bella to at least get a glass of wine. And while the drinks and snacks flowed across the table, Bella heard all kinds of embarrassing stories about the siblings. Her favorites were the ones where Carlisle harassed his sons at every possible opportunity.

"Dad left us hanging, literally," Jasper gasped out through his laughter. "Emmett, Edward, and I tried to sneak around the corner of the campground bathroom, but Jamie was so little he didn't care. He walked buck naked through the park, announcing to everyone as he went that he was 'free-balling.'"

Bella's eyes cut to Emmett at the word, and he shrugged unapologetically. "Kid needed to know the proper term."

Rolling his eyes at his brother, Jasper continued. "Of course, Dad had left Jamie a towel when he took all our clothes."

"And he didn't use it," Bella chortled.

"Nah. He wanted to be just like us." Emmett said, and for a moment, pain darkened all three of the Cullen men's eyes.

It was easy to see what caused it. Emmett and Jasper had wives, families, and the careers they'd always desired. Edward sat next to the woman who rocked his world, working desperately to find his forever.

And Jamie wasn't with them.

"To Jamie. I hope Victoria is allowing him to 'freeball' in heaven," Emmett broke the morose mood with his irreverent toast.

"To Jamie!" the group agreed, clinking their glasses together over the table.

~Honor~

"Alice is a maniac," Bella observed.

Bella and Jasper sat at the table while Edward and Alice danced on the floor, Emmett and Rose beside them. She watched as Alice twisted gracefully to the music, but her eyes were really glued to the man she loved. He was an exceptional dancer, and she couldn't help but notice how many other women watched him as he laughed at his sister-in-law and moved to the music.

"She is. Dancing is a perfect match for all her energy." Jasper took a long drink of the water he held. "She even wears me out."

Bella turned to the quiet man beside her. She'd watched Jasper embarrass a lot of men out on the dance floor with his grace. Smiling when their eyes met, Bella relaxed back against the chair. She'd danced with Edward several times, but had to admit she wasn't up to the moves she could usually work. Waiting on a good slow song to attempt a dance with Edward, she'd sicced Alice on him, much to the woman's delight.

"I'm glad you found Edward, Bella." Jasper's words were soft, and she was almost unsure if she'd heard him correctly.

Jasper tipped his head toward the dance floor. "I've worried about him finding the right one. He's far too handsome and nice for his own good, and there have been a few women I was afraid he was going to get trapped by. When I saw the way he responded to you at Jamie's funeral, I knew my days of worrying were over."

Her mouth dropped open in a way she was sure wasn't attractive. At his smirk, so similar to Edward's and Carlisle's, she shook her head. "What if I'd turned out to be just as crazy?"

"Nah! When he held you up so you could deliver your eulogy, I knew. It was an instant connection between the two of you." He grinned, turning back to follow his wife with his eyes. "I just had to talk to Jacob to find out that you weren't attached, and I was good from there."

Bella exhaled harshly in disbelief. "Really?"

"Yup." Jasper's eyes grew solemn when they returned to her. "Let him help you exorcise the demons, and there'll be nothing you can't accomplish together. It's what our mates are for, you know, to accept us at our worst–scars and all."

Stunned speechless at his words, Bella could only guess at what he meant for his own life. However, whatever had scared Jasper in the past was banished the moment his tiny wife fell into his lap and kissed his jaw. "C'mon handsome. I have it on good authority the DJ is about to play a slow song. I'm ready to rub all over you so the women who've been eyeing you know you're all mine."

Bella lost her breath at the smile Jasper gave Alice.

But it was nothing to how she felt when she looked up to find Edward gazing at her with the same look.

"May I have the honor of the next dance?"

Rising slowly, she placed her hand in his, allowing him to lead her gently to the floor.

Surprisingly, she heard the note of a guitar start. The distinctly country sound was a sharp contrast to the techno dance music that had been blaring through the club. Bella suspected Alice had had something to do with the choice when Jasper gave a whoop at the country strands and the first words of the song "Die a Happy Man".

" _Baby, last night was hands down."_

While the dance floor cleared, only a few other couples remaining while the partyers went to find drinks, Edward waited patiently for Bella to make the first move.

Stepping close, she placed her hands against his tight stomach, slowly moving them up across his chest. Stretching, she linked her hands behind his neck, bringing them flush together. While desire darkened his eyes, he made no move to touch her.

"Put your hands on me, Edward."

The smile that broke across his face was of pure joy. He moved slowly, the strands of the music weaving around them as he patiently pulled her closer, both hands curving around her waist, his long fingers wrapping around to touch the top of her ass. Thumbs brushing against her stomach, he rocked softly, leading her in a simple move as he sang the words of the song to her in his velvet voice.

" _And I know that I can't ever tell you enough– that all I need in this life is your crazy love."_

The song had reached one of the refrains before she settled with his touch, but resting her head against Edward's chest, she soaked in his heartbeat. Content, Bella closed her eyes, but not before Alice sent her a secretive wink from where she was similarly cradled against Jasper, and Rose snuck a thumbs up sign from behind Emmett's back.

" _Oh, if all I got is your hand in my hand. Baby, I could die a happy man."_

She shivered at the words and the feeling of being watched by more than just the club patrons around them. There was no doubt in Bella's mind there was more at play this night than a good time with friends, family, and an incredible dance with the man she loved.

The pressure that had surrounded her heart from the moment she woke to find Jamie's cold hand in hers disappeared like a puff of smoke, leaving nothing behind but hope.

~Honor~

I had a quick flashback to Bill Murray in the movie _What About Bob_ – baby steps, baby steps, baby steps. If you've never seen the movie, YouTube at least a clip. Still one of my favorite scenes in a comedy.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. And to NanStew who has helped me immensely. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

Happy Memorial Day to all those readers in the states. As most know, this started out as a one-shot for the Meet the Mate contest. However, I dedicated it to all the service members (living and deceased) in my family and extended social circle due to the nature of the story being a military one (to begin). I also included a dedication to Kory and his Military Work Dog Cooper in a later chapter. Both Kory and Cooper lost their lives in service to our country. I can't express my gratitude enough to the service men and women (and their families) for the selfless service – most especially to those that have lost their lives in it.

~Honor~

"O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Juliet, AKA Erin Cullen, called out dramatically.

Emmett and Rosalie's nine-year-old daughter was extremely theatrical and talented. She flipped her long blonde hair behind her shoulder with artistic flair as she waited for her Romeo to answer. The boy, standing below the balcony, appeared star struck. Even from the distance, Bella saw him swallow hard before he croaked out a reply.

It was then Emmett lost control and started chuckling. "She's already got it babe," he said not too softly to Rose.

A soft thump let everyone know that Esme had effectively warned him to be quiet. Grinning at how easily the Cullen family harassed each other, Bella snuggled into Edward's side.

When he'd told her he wanted to take her to a play for Valentine's Day, she'd tried to figure out how, in a nice way, to tell him the she wasn't really big on Broadway-type stuff. He'd just chuckled and informed her their date was going to be an entirely differently type of experience.

And Bella loved it.

The Cullen men had helped build the sets, and Rose and Alice had done a Broadway-worthy Internet blitz. The grade school play was a fundraiser for the local animal shelter, and if the crowd was any indication, it was going to be a success.

Bella couldn't help but snicker as the drama continued on stage and among the Cullen clan. Juliet's death was nothing short of Oscar-worthy, Erin earning every one of the roses Emmett handed her as she took her bow before a standing ovation. Instead of a fancy meal, the future starlet had elected for an ice cream celebration for the cast as her treat. Dutifully, the family drove the few miles to one of the local "it" kid places. Within minutes of their crew arriving, the place dissolved into chaos.

"Whose idea was it to give them sugar?" Jasper asked as Matthew, Emmett and Rose's son, went screaming by.

Emmett refused to look guilty. In fact, he joined the kids in a Skee-Ball competition, spending an obscene amount of money before intentionally losing to the love-struck Romeo.

"Ms. Bella, how do you know when you've met the 'one'?" Erin later asked from the seat beside Bella. Her eyes were trained on the dark-haired thespian attempting to have a serious discussion with the bear-like Emmett.

Drawn like a moth to flame, Bella's eyes found Edward across the room. He was helping one of the younger kids shoot basketballs. He'd removed his suit coat and loosened the top button of his shirt and tie. Chuckling at something the little girl had said, he looked up to catch Bella watching him. With a wolfish wink, he lifted the girl and held her aloft so that she could make her shot.

"You know no matter what, they'll be by your side through thick and thin. Your heart races whenever you see them, and nothing else seems to matter." She glanced down at Edward's hands, seeing them gently wrapped around the girl's waist. Bella couldn't imagine Edward ever intentionally harming anyone. "You know he or she would fight the Devil himself to protect you."

Erin's eyebrows scrunched as her lips turned down into a pout. "Huh. Well, I guess Daniel isn't it then. I had to kill the spider backstage. I thought he was going to pee his pants when it ran across the floor."

Lips pinched and eyebrows raised, Bella tried to hold in the laughter. "Perhaps, but I think you might want to give Daniel a chance to grow up a little more. It takes boys a little longer."

Erin's bright blue eyes widened. "Uncle Jamie told me something like that once. That it takes boys a long time to find their hero spot. Girls always have it, that's why they make good mommas. Or at least that's what he said."

Bella could see Jamie telling his niece exactly that, and she couldn't stop the lone tear that fell down her cheek. "Well your Uncle Jamie was definitely a hero to me."

"I talk to him at night, you know." Erin still watched her father and earnest beau.

Bella nodded. "My grandmother Swan used to say heaven's floor has holes and that the people we love can hear us when we talk to them." Bella thought about the night she'd screamed at her mother following Renee's death. She'd made her peace the next one.

"No, I mean, I talk to him. Uncle Jamie comes to see me sometimes."

Bella was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say to the young girl.

"He's proud of you and Uncle Edward."

Erin jumped up at that moment as Emmett waved her over, leaving a stunned Bella in her wake.

"You okay?" Edward asked later, as Bella continued to digest Erin's announcement throughout the rest of the ice cream social.

Laying her hand against Edward's cheek, she grinned. "Yeah, everything's perfect."

It was only after the kids wore down that the families split to go each their own way. She and Edward's destination had remained a surprise, no matter how much she'd begged for hints. All he'd volunteered was to dress nice for the occasions.

When they pulled up to a crowded parking lot next to a pier, Bella's confusion must have shown because Edward finally caved. "We're going on a dinner cruise."

Bella gasped. "Seriously?" Excitement crackled in waves off her.

Edward tweaked her nose, enjoying the way pleasure made her cheeks rosy. She'd gained weight, softening out the angles and hollowness of her cheeks, and her eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Good choice?"

Bella grinned and teased, "We'll see." Her teasing stopped when they exited the car, the frigid temperature making her shiver.

Pulling her close to ward off the cold wind blowing across the lot, Edward hurried them toward the walkway where they joined similarly dressed couples waiting to board the Royal Argosy. The smells of rich food and wine surrounded them as soon as they entered the cabin. No more than a dozen tables were placed around the glass-enclosed dining area. Long stemmed red roses were arranged in vases at each table, contrasting against the crisp white of the linens. In the corner, a string quartet played Bach, adding to the romantic ambience.

"Wow." Bella turned to Edward. "Exactly how much was this little present?"

Shrugging, he refused to answer. "Henri recommended the chef. Said he was the best Italian master in the city. He brought Jude here last year for Valentine's Day." He chuckled. "All I know is Henri said he got lucky, like real lucky, afterward."

At his doggish statement, Bella punched her elbow into his ribs causing Edward to grunt.

"Mr. Cullen, your table is ready." A young girl stepped before them, and Bella could swear she saw the girl struggling to keep a straight face.

She led them to a table next to one of the large plates of glass where Edward held the chair out for Bella to sit. The view of the bay was extraordinary, the occasional stars twinkling through the breaks in the clouds and reflecting off the water. They looked like diamonds against the black of the Sound.

"May I recommend a bottle of red wine?" the girl asked as soon as Edward sat to Bella's right.

With a shy nod at his raised eyebrow, Bella let Edward know it was okay. She'd been weaning off the pain killers as much as possible. Preparing for their Valentine's Day date, she'd made sure to take only over-the-counter pain relievers. The girl handed them a fancy single sheet menu before she left.

Bella quickly glanced down the list, her eyes sticking on the description of the spaghetti with spicy Bolognese. There were fancier dishes on the menu, but the description left her mouth watering. She looked up to find Edward watching her.

"What?" she asked at his look.

"I'm admiring you. How beautiful you look tonight."

She blushed at his words. She'd intentionally dressed for the evening in a red dress with a sweetheart neckline. It made the most of her breasts and made her look a little less pale. She'd also gone to the stylist with Alice and Rose and gotten layers cut into her long hair. It was the first time since before her capture that she'd been able to do so, and only because they'd gone to a female hairdresser who had done Esme's, Alice's, and Rose's hair for years. Her head felt a ton lighter, as did her mood.

The weeks since she and Edward had gone dancing had passed, blending into days and nights of discovery. Their moments of affection were growing more heated, their non-sexual moments rivaling those times for intimacy. She felt as if she knew him, better than she'd ever known anyone.

And while they'd yet to make love, Bella was more than ready to try now. She'd known it the evening she felt the pressure leave her heart, but she'd promised Edward she'd wait until he planned it, so waiting is what she was doing. In the meantime, they'd weaned off the leather restraints. Just the night before, Edward had lain against the cool silk of his sheets, hands to his side, legs spread as Bella used a vibrator to come in front of his hungry eyes and then sucked him off. She'd felt so badass doing something so . . . normal.

"What's put that devilish light into your eyes?" Edward asked.

Bella didn't answer because, at that moment, the girl approached the table with their wine. After removing the cork, she allowed Edward to taste it and with his nod filled a glass for Bella.

"Have you had time to look over the menu?" she asked. "I can give you some suggestions if you haven't decided."

Bella shook her head softly, "I've already made my decision. I'm going to go with the spaghetti."

"Perfect! It would have actually been my first suggestion. And you, sir?"

"I was going to go with the spaghetti as well, so would you suggest something else? Maybe I can talk my girl into sharing."

His girl . . .

"I like the basics, but I'll tell you even the basics aren't plain here. The _Mushroom Ravioli al Forno_ is to die for. The cook does it for our vegetarians. Myself, I like meat, but even I can appreciate how good it is."

"The _Mushroom Ravioli_ it is then."

"Very good. I'll be right back with your salads and some bruschetta."

"She's sweet," Bella said as the girl walked away.

Grinning, Edward glanced toward their server for only a moment. "Yes. Poor thing working on Valentine's."

"Let's make sure she gets a good tip, so hopefully it'll make up for part of being stuck with us." Bella smirked.

"Will do." Edward laughed softly before he grabbed her hand and squeezed. "So, at our last meeting with Marcus, he suggested we share some embarrassing stories about ourselves. It seems appropriate for me to share one tonight."

Giggling at the way Edward rolled his eyes, Bella took a sip of her wine. The sweet taste burst across her tongue, and she took another healthier swallow.

"Since I've shared my first-time experience and the utter humiliating moments of it," he emphasized the word _moments_ , reminding Bella of his funny story about losing his virginity and how quick it'd been. "It's only appropriate that I tell you I got my heart broken for the first time on Valentine's Day."

"Really?" she asked, trying hard to keep the humor out of her voice, but losing. She already suspected, from his tone, that she was about to be treated to a funny story.

He sniffed. "This is a very important story, Bella. You need to give it your utmost concern." Placing his hand over his heart. "Susie Jones broke my heart. When I asked her to tell me whether or not she would be my Valentine, she checked the "No" box. She didn't even give it a "Maybe."

Bella's giggles were loud. She couldn't help it.

"I kept asking every year for three years. She always marked "No" with a big bold "X." It was mortifying. Particularly when I found out the next year that she'd had a crush on Jasper the whole time. He ended up dancing with her at the elementary school Valentine's Day dance. Asshole. He knew I thought she was pretty."

Afraid she was about to snort, Bella covered her mouth with her hand. She imagined there were a lot of girls who had crushes on the Cullen men over the years.

"It was to be the way of the world for years to come. Emmett had all the girls tied up with his muscles, and Jasper had the tortured-soul thing going for him. I was just the red-headed geek."

"Su . . .re." She drawled out the word. Bella was quite certain Edward had as many or more admirers as his brothers. "You know, you're not the only one who has gotten their heart broken on Valentine's. My first boyfriend forgot it was Valentine's Day, or he decided to ignore it. Jake was the only one, other than my father, who gave me anything. It was half of his candy bar from one of the girls who had a crush on him." Bella shook her head at the memory.

"It's amazing we survived the heartbreaks to give love another chance," Edward teased.

They were both still laughing when the waitress came with their salads and bruschetta.

"In the interest of full disclosure, I have another mortifying story about Valentine's Day. In high school, I tried to impress my girlfriend by buying her roses, chocolate, and a necklace. I'd even talked to her sister about what I should get. My problem was I didn't listen to the suggestions given. Every year, my dad gets my mother a dozen red, long-stemmed roses no matter what else he purchases, so I was determined to be as debonair as he is. Problem was, Laura's sister had suggested orchids. Little did I know the smell of roses made Laura sick—some sort of weird association from childhood from when she'd been in the hospital with food poisoning. She couldn't look at me for months without turning green. Needless to say, my efforts entirely backfired and she couldn't stand to be around me. It was the death knell on our fledgling relationship."

Bella didn't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for him, but when he smirked at her stoic look, she laughed so hard she started crying. Thanking Alice for insisting on waterproof mascara, Bella tried to delicately wipe the tears away without ruining her makeup.

Dinner came and was thoroughly enjoyed as a shared meal full of hilarious stories of their failed attempts at juvenile love. In the oddest of ways, it was the most romantic evening Bella had ever experienced.

They elected to wait on dessert until later in the cruise, opting instead, to wrap in the provided heavy blankets and sit in a sheltered area outside to enjoy the view. The damp, cold air took Bella's breath away when they stepped out, but Edward quickly escorted her toward a sheltered alcove near the stern. An outdoor heater had been set up, so wrapped in the blanket next to Edward, Bella found the chill tolerable. While there were various sounds along the river, the slap of the waves against the boat was the most predominant. It was soothing. Another cruise ship passed in the distance, the lights adding to the sprinkling of stars reflected in the water.

"You warm enough?" Edward asked as he tucked the blanket tighter around them.

"Yeah." Bella snuggled closer against him. "Dinner was amazing. Henri and Jude were totally right, but I'm afraid I'm not going to have any room for dessert."

"I know, right? But we have several hours and some dancing to do before our trip is over, so hopefully we'll be able to do the selections justice." He leaned over, feathering kisses along her hairline. "I know I want to spend some time with you in my arms."

Moving her hand beneath the blanket, Bella patted his muscled stomach before scratching her fingernails across the material of his button down shirt. Glancing up at him through her eyelashes, Bella said, "I can think of several ways I'd like to be in your arms."

Even in the dusky light of the alcove Bella saw Edward's eyes darken. "Baby . . ."

"I want you, tonight, in our bed. I'm ready Edward. I want your lips on me, you on top, and you in control.

He cleared his throat, and she'd never seen him more uneasy.

"What?"

Panic washed over his face.

"Edward, just spit it out, you're making me nervous."

She watched as he took a deep breath then squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. It was clear to her the moment he decided to confess to what was bothering him. A peace seemed to wash over him.

"The cruise wasn't the only present I got you, but I've been attempting to grow balls, as Emmett would say."

Bella giggled, imagining Emmett saying exactly that. "What kind of gag gift did you get me?" she laughed, imagining what would make Edward so nervous. Maybe he'd bought her restraints. The idea made her equally as turned on as edgy.

He shook his head. "No, no gag, unless you laugh your ass off at me."

Pulling her hand free from the blankets, Bella held her hand out. She wiggled her fingers at him.

"No, not this way," Edward murmured, moving to extricate himself from the covers. He'd barely stood before he went down on one knee before her.

Bella gasped. "Wha-"

"Bella, I want you to be mine, in everything. The first time we attempt to make love, I want it to be as man and wife, so you know . . . really know . . . I'm in this forever." He produced a black box from somewhere, but Bella had been too startled by his words to truly watch what he was doing. He continued on while she tried to breathe. "It doesn't matter to me when we finally become one physically. What matters is that you know we're one spiritually first. Bella, you're my other half, my mate. I knew it the moment I saw you. It might have taken me some time to recognize it for what it was, but deep down I knew. I know it's too soon, I know you're thinking I'm crazy, and I know you're probably ready to run the other way, but I had to be honest with what I've been feeling because it's been eating me alive."

A light from inside flashed over Edward as he kneeled before her, making the green of his eyes blaze.

"I'm not opening this box, because I want you to be in control of when it happens. It's enough for me tonight to let you know where I stand." Taking her hand, he placed the box in it, curling his fingers around hers so they closed together over the dark velvet.

Having her hand captured in this manner would have once set her spiraling into a very dark place, but the heat of Edward's fingers wrapped around hers seemed as natural as breathing, as natural as being two souls united as one.

One . . . she felt it. Even Charlie has said she and Edward moved together in some strange, supernatural sort of way.

They'd spent as much time connecting with his family as they did emotionally over the past weeks. And Edward had even taken a long weekend so they could travel to Forks. There, Bella had fallen even more in love with him as he spent time with Jake, Leah, and their kids. She'd never forget finding him, Charlie, and Jake on the Black's back porch drinking beers and talking trash about football and baseball. Jake's wink had been all Bella had needed. Edward fit in . . . perfectly.

"By the way, I asked Charlie's permission when we visited. He laughed before giving me his permission." Edward looked at a loss for an explanation of her father's behavior.

A short burst of hysterical giggling tore out of her throat before she found her voice. "He thinks you're crazy."

His smile was blinding. "About you." Squeezing her hand softly, he leaned forward, capturing her mouth softly. "When you're ready, marry me, Bella," he whispered against her lips.

Using her free hand, Bella grabbed the back of his head, using the short strands of his hair to hold him firmly. Crashing their mouths back together, Bella poured every ounce of her emotions into the kiss, drinking him in, nipping at his bottom lip in order to hear him groan against her. Gone was the hesitancy; she wanted to experience it all. No, it didn't make sense, but she couldn't imagine being anywhere else than by Edward's side.

"I love you," she said softly. "And yes."

Breathing sharply, Edward tightened his hands on her arms. "Yes?"

Bella nodded before she flipped the lid of the box open. "Let's go with crazy."

~Honor~


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. And to NanStew who has helped me immensely. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

~Honor~

"So what do you two have planned for tonight?" Jude asked Bella as they boxed the last of the delicate petit fours she'd designed for a small wedding.

"A night at home." She smiled at Jude's raised eyebrow and leering expression. "Edward exchanged a shift with one of the other trauma surgeons in order to get a three day weekend for next week, so he's worked seven days straight. He's going to be exhausted, and I'm right there with him after the grueling schedule Taskmaster Henri arranged this week."

Jude chuckled at her disparaging comments about his lover. "I warned you."

Shaking her head at his teasing tone, Bella put a fist to the small of her back and stretched. It popped in reaction. She was down to only one physical therapy appointment a week, but with the added rigor of working, her leg and hip had made significant progress. They still ached like a son-of-a-bitch most mornings, but Bella's strength was returning in leaps and bounds. Most days, she was fine to use only her cane; her wheelchair remaining stored in the corner of her dining area for those few times it was needed.

"You two have something special planned for next weekend?" he asked as he placed the last box on the table for the delivery guy to transport.

Bella turned to the sink, and the dirty dishes there, to hide her expression. Using the few moments to get her voice under control, she lied. "Just some time away."

Edward had wanted to board a plane the morning after Valentine's Day and fly to Las Vegas to get married. After Bella had recovered from the hysterical laughing, she'd realized he hadn't been kidding. His reason— Alice. It was only a name, but it should have come with a warning sign. The minute the petite woman had spied the ring on Bella's finger, she'd shrieked so loudly everyone in Carlisle and Esme's home had come running.

By the time congratulations had been handed out, Alice already had a year-long engagement plan outlined. She was going to be so upset, because Bella and Edward weren't waiting. He'd already made arrangements with the Little White Wedding Chapel in Vegas. In less than two weeks, Bella would be Mrs. Edward Cullen, unbeknownst to—almost everyone.

Alice was going to hate them. And Bella was afraid Rose was going to be mad, as well, but Edward and she were going to let everyone know a few days before. With Charlie's help, Jacob's boss had already been put on notice to give him the days off. Carlisle had handled Emmett's supervisor. Thankfully, Jasper, as a professor, had the weekends off anyway. It was going to be a surprise family affair.

Unsettled about their friends, she and Edward had decided they would throw a big celebration party upon their return.

"Well, I hope you're going somewhere romantic," Jude said in response to her "time away" statement.

Trying not to laugh at the memory of Edward suggesting they rent one of the Elvis chapels, Bella smirked. "Yeah, lots of romance and sparkle." To marry Edward she would've done Elvis if that was all they could get, but she'd found the White Chapel to be classy enough. For kicks, she'd arranged, without Edward knowing, an Elvis impersonator to sing in order to give their ceremony a true Vegas feel.

"Well, get out of here then. I'll take care of those dishes," he said of the items she'd focused on.

"I've got it," she argued.

"Bella, go. There's nothing in your contract that said you also had to clean up. Besides, it'll give you some time to go home and take a nap before Edward wakes up. If I had that man under my fingertips, I'd want to have every second of time to spend exploring."

Snapping Jude with a towel, Bella exited to his laughter.

Her beat-up red Chevy pickup truck sat in the corner of the lot. Edward had flipped out when he saw the vehicle in Forks. It was only when Jake had explained the upgrades to the engine, suspension, and brake system that Edward had calmed some, but he was still after Bella for them to look for her a new car.

"Something more reliable," he'd said.

She'd argued for the sake of arguing; even she knew her baby needed to be reserved for special occasions. The crankiness of the clutch was enough to make her leg miserable on some days. It was another thing to consider after the wedding, but until she could finish the lease with Mike, she didn't want to stretch her budget any further with a car payment. Her stubborn fiancé had simply shaken his head at her points, so she knew the conversation was far from over. In fact, it was only beginning, because a stunned Marcus had given them a financial sheet to complete before their surprise wedding. He wanted to discuss their proposed budget at their next visit.

Bella had been surprised, since Marcus was their sex therapist, that he'd want to talk about such issues.

His response had been simple. "Nothing kills a marriage quicker than arguments over sex and money. We're dealing with one, so the other needs consideration as well."

Thankfully, the truck started easily and behaved the entire trip to the loft. As much as she wanted to let herself into Edward's apartment and crawl into bed with him, she needed a shower more. Minutes later, a clean, warm Bella drifted to sleep beneath her covers.

~Honor~

She sat the piece of paper down on the table, her wide eyes expressing her disbelief. "I thought you said you spent most of your inheritance buying the condo and paying for medical school."

Edward slid a cup of coffee across the table to her before sitting with his. "A large portion of it."

"And you still have this much left?" She pointed to the number under his assets list.

Considering the ring gracing her finger and the Cullen family's home, Bella told herself she should've known Edward's modest lifestyle wasn't entirely a true representation of his worth. Her one-carat, oval-cut diamond was flawless. While elegant in size and perfect for her, she guessed it was worth a lot more money than she wanted to consider. Edward had gone on about adding other stones and getting a fancier setting to suit her tastes when she'd opened the box, but the simple ring had stolen her heart. His arguments, alone, told her how long he'd pondered the choice, making the solitaire even more special.

"Since I didn't need the money immediately to buy a home like Jasper and Emmett, I worked with an investor. I've made and lost money over the years, but for the most part, it's been a good decision." He shrugged, but a dark expression covered his features. "Jamie's will divided his assets between Emmett, Jasper, and me, which is the other savings account noted there," he pointed to a second column. "I'm considering donating it to the Boys and Girls Club."

"Boys and Girls?" she asked wondering about the association.

"Jamie volunteered there during high school."

Tears threatened Bella's eyes, imagining her friend doing just that.

"I remember him being so excited about the work they do. There was one kid who he nicknamed 'The Thug' that Jamie kinda adopted. He and the kid played basketball for hours, and I remember the kid's mom telling Jamie later that it probably saved her son's life. She said it kept him out of a local street gang. Ebron's his name, and he's a missionary in Mexico now."

"Was he at the funeral?"

"No. He tried, but couldn't leave his congregation." Edward looked down, but Bella saw the suspicious sheen in his eyes. "Mom told him not to worry, that he should have his own ceremony for Jamie."

"Have you thought about sending him some of the money?" Bella asked.

"Yeah." He smiled. "I spoke with my accountant, but I wanted to see what you thought about it."

She jerked back. "Edward, it's your money. You need to do with it what you want."

"No." He smirked. "It's our money, now." At her uncomfortable look, he added, "Bella, we aren't rich or anything."

"There's enough there to buy a house!" she accused.

"Maybe, but I would like to purchase you a car first."

She growled at him, which resulted in him chuckling. "I should be paying for that."

"You're insisting on paying for the wedding, including everyone's plane tickets and hotels. That's going to wipe out your savings."

"No. Dad's adamant about footing the bill. Little did I know, he's been saving for my wedding for years." Tears filled her eyes again.

"Bella?" Edward cupped her cheek at the sight.

She grinned even as a tear rolled down her face. "I just didn't know. You've seen our house in Forks. He could've used the money to upgrade things, and I can't imagine how he saved anything considering how he took care of Mom during her illness."

"Bella, he's your dad. I imagine it was important to him to plan for the possibility. Let him pay for the wedding and walk you down the very short aisle."

They both laughed.

"Speaking of parents . . . Dad and Mom insist on paying for the party when we get back. They're going to tell Henri and Jude that it's to celebrate the engagement so they don't have to spill the beans." His thumb traced Bella's lips. "Baby, are you sure you're okay with Vegas? I mean, to hear Alice and Rose talk about it, girls dream of their ideal wedding for years. I want to make sure you wouldn't prefer to do this all differently."

"Nah. I just want to be your wife. If I wanted the big wedding, we could always come back and have one. As long as Charlie, Jake, Leah and the kids are there, it'll be everything I ever dreamed of."

Edward leaned down and captured Bella's lips, searing her with lust almost immediately. They broke apart several minutes later.

"Money," Bella struggled to say, punching her finger to the paper on the table for focus. "It's important to me I pay my part of all this."

"As for liabilities, my only bills are the utilities, taxes on this place, and personal expenses. I pay my credit card off every month. In looking at your paper, the only expenses you have are with the loft. We can talk to Mike and see about advertising it for rent and breaking the lease, but until then we'll need to continue the payments. In the positive column, we have my salary, your Air Force retirement, and the money you make at the bakery, if you want to continue working there."

Bella nodded. "Until I find out whether or not I can get my pilot's license. Then, I'd like to look at getting a position in the field."

"Understood." He slid her paper closer and began doing some calculations. "So let's do this. Let me pay for our groceries, which is the only shared expense for now. When we eliminate the costs of Mike's loft, you can take over that, and I'll cover the utilities. That should split our bills equally then. We can look at setting up an entertainment budget between us for eating out and stuff, but if it's okay with you, I'm going to continue sinking the rest of my salary into our savings because I'll want to look for a house soon. I bought this place to have somewhere to crash, but I want a home with you."

Bella's eyes rounded as she imagined a house with a white picket fence and two kids running around the yard. She giggled at the cliché. "Um . . . okay." She furrowed her brow. "I've been putting the rest of my money in savings too, so do you think your person would look at other options? Right now, it's in a regular account through USAA. Come to think of it, we might want to talk to USAA about home loans. It might make better sense to have a mortgage with the rates I can get and leave the money in savings if the interest rates are higher."

A burst of laughter tore out of her. "Wow, look at us being so responsible."

"Not very romantic, is it?" Edward chuckled.

"Actually, I can see what Marcus meant when he said it was important to clear the air. Just knowing we have a financial plan feels like a major hurdle overcome. I have to tell you, when we sit down to develop a budget after we get rid of Mike's place, I would rather you just give me an allowance on my debit card and let you handle the budget. I hate dealing with money," Bella admitted.

"How about this— we agree to keep so much a month in separate accounts for us to spend in whatever way we want, with the rest going into the joint one. We'll outline expenses for the household and anything above a hundred dollars that isn't outlined has to be discussed between us. That way you won't go postal on me when I want a new big screen television."

Bella snickered and rolled her eyes at him. "It would be more likely I'd want a new television."

Pursing his lips at her, Edward nodded. "Money discussion over?" he asked.

"Yup."

"Good." He gave her no warning, lunging toward her and pulling her up into his arms. "Now it's me and you time."

Giggling, she bit his lower lip before sucking it into her mouth. "Do you have nefarious plans for me?"

"Not nefarious, but something I've wanted to do for a long time."

"What?"

"Do what Marcus suggested - get my hands on you."

Bella's gasp filled the air around them.

"Shoes off. I want you to give me five minutes by the clock on the stove."

Bella's head swam at his tone. It was demanding and directive. "O . . . kay."

Before he set her free, Edward kissed her again. She was gasping for breath by the time he released his hold on her. He tasted of fine wine and lust, the brush of his tongue against hers setting Bella's nerves on fire. She itched to feel his hands brush over her skin.

He gently sat her back down on the chair, pointing to the clock. "Five minutes."

It was the longest five minutes of her life. It was as if Bella could hear the tick of each second, each beat making her blood surge a little harder. When the green numbers indicated her time had lapsed, Bella rose unsteadily, grabbing her cane to make her way from Edward's tidy kitchen toward his bedroom door. She paused at the unusual sight she found, attempting to get her brain to cooperate in providing an explanation.

"It's a winch and pulley," he explained of the chain that hung from a mechanical device mounted to his ceiling.

If that wasn't enough to distract her, Edward, clad only in black boxer briefs, wore the leather cuffs she'd bought him; cuffs he hadn't worn the last time she'd touched him. More importantly, he'd linked his wrists by a chain. It almost appeared as if he were a prisoner manacled for transport. At one point in their past, she would've been disturbed by the rush she felt seeing the black leather against his skin. Whether it was an inherent need in her to have him at her mercy, or conditional training as a result of her first stirrings of post-abuse desire being associated with the sight, she'd learned to embrace it.

The harsh look of his cuffs and chains was offset by what he'd done in the room. Surrounding them were a dozen flickering candles. They weren't needed for light, as the afternoon was uncommonly bright and Edward had partially opened his shades to let the warmth filter in. What they did add was a sweet scent of vanilla and spice that made the air sultry. On the bedside table were three bottles of what appeared to be oils, and rose petals had been strewn across the sheet covered bed. Soft classical music played in the background to complete the effect.

But her eyes were again drawn to the black leather.

"The chain attaches to my cuffs, and you'll hold the remote control. If at any time you grow uncomfortable, you'll only have to press the button, and I'll be restrained almost instantaneously. Come closer and try."

She moved slowly, fascinated as Edward hit something on the controller to loosen the chain, pulling it toward him and snapping the links together. Eyes wide, Bella scraped her fingernails along his wrists, her arousal skyrocketing as he shivered beneath the caress. She ran her fingertips up his strong forearms before glancing at his face. The depth of his warm, green eyes ensnared her.

"I love you," she whispered.

"As I love you." He placed the small controller in her hand. "You can either use our safe word or this. You know I'll stop immediately if you tell me, but I wanted you to know that no matter what, you can contain me."

"I trust you."

He grinned before winking at her. "I know. But this is big. Other than a few caresses on your arms, neck, and kissing, I've yet to touch you. This could be a big trigger, Bella, and I want you to feel assured you're in control." He leaned toward her, slowly feathering his lips over hers. "As soon as I get on the bed, I want you to press the button with the green arrow," he said before straightening.

She ogled his ass as he climbed onto the smooth sheet. Sitting back on his bent legs so that his bottom rested on his feet, Edward nodded.

The whirl of the machine startled her when she pressed the button, but she watched as the chain quickly retracted, Edward having to move up on his knees as the chain stretched his arms high toward the ceiling. The pose emphasized the lean muscles in his arms and chest, making her stomach clench. It was a very pretty sight. Unable to resist the temptation, Bella propped her cane on his bedside table and joined Edward on the mattress, immediately taking advantage of his containment to run her palms across his chest and up his arm before moving down to his stomach and around to his back. There, she dug her fingernails into his skin a little while she nuzzled against a nipple.

"Bella!" Edward gasped and she felt his cock grow hard between them. "My time, not yours," he ordered, causing her to grin against his skin.

"But you are so tempting," she said, rubbing her lips against his tight nipple before biting it gently.

"Bella!"

This time his voice was harsh.

"Okay, okay," she conceded, moving back to look down at the control.

"The yellow button."

She pressed it and heard the small motor again. The links reversed, and she watched in fascination as his muscles relaxed. He was poetry in motion.

Before he could say anything, she hit the green button again, restraining him immediately. His shocked eyes transformed as laughter burst out of him. "I've created a monster."

"Yup," she giggled, brushing a single fingertip down his happy trail and across his cock. She grinned evilly as it jumped.

Cocking an eyebrow at Edward imperiously, Bella attempted to contain her laughter, but couldn't. Luckily, she thought to press the yellow button again, because she fell to the bed as her laughter took hold so hard her stomach hurt before she was through. "Do I even want to know who helped you set this up and what story you told them?"

"Nope." He chuckled as he lay down beside her. "Getting the settings right for the chains to stop was awkward." He emphasized awkward, drawing out the word.

Bella hoped it was Jasper. The man had enough secrets he wanted kept, and since Bella knew his and Alice's love life must have had moments of kinkiness with their sometimes partner, she felt Jasper would be the last one to tease.

Tenderly, Edward pushed strands of her hair away from her face and behind her ear. "I need you naked and on your stomach. Are you okay with that?"

Bella knew her eyes dilated with lust at the idea. "I'm getting my massage, aren't I?"

He nodded, a broad grin ruining any attempt at seriousness. "Full body."

She sucked in a deep breath before pushing up to sit. A brief moment of thought entered her mind to make the undressing a strip tease, but she was nervous enough. Whether she meant it to be sexy or not, the effect was still the same. Edward's eyes followed her movements hungrily as she removed her bra, then slid her jeans down her legs. He moved to the end of the bed and helped tug the denim over her sock-covered feet.

He twirled his finger in the air, letting her know to lie face-down on the mattress. The clink of the chain holding him as he did so was both seductive and comforting. She felt the cold of it slide up her legs and twisted in desire.

"Underwear off, Bella," he murmured before placing a quick kiss to the small of her back.

Bella cried out in pleasure at the caress. It was the first moment of Edward touching her, other than the kisses along her mouth and neck. The caress sent fire racing up her spine and down to her sex. Her nipples pebbled against the bed, and she wanted to grind against it like a cat in heat. Awash in the feelings, she barely registered him pulling the scrap of lace she'd worn down her legs. Her socks also disappeared.

His next attack was as sneaky. He brushed his chest along her back, reaching over to grab one of the bottles from the bedside table. It was over so quickly, her body didn't have time to react negatively. Instead, the tease of his chest hair across her back fueled the already raging fires.

"Shh . . ." he said softly against her neck when he heard her moan.

She wanted to laugh. _Shh . . . her ass!_

The groan that tore out of her chest was embarrassing when he embraced her left foot, spreading warm oil across her arch and kneading the tension points. Pressure hit all the right spots, approaching pain just before he released them, and the heat radiated across her skin, chasing away any stress. He gently pulled each toe, taking time to stretch it gently before releasing. Using his fist, he twisted against the muscles in her arch, sending goosebumps up her leg.

"You should go with Rose and Alice to get a pedicure," he said softly. "They tell me the spa soaks their feet in hot wax."

Bella imagined how it would feel. After having her hair cut, she felt it was something she could possibly do.

Unhurried, Edward continued to work the stress out of her foot, before laying it gently down onto the bed.

A sharp nip at her big toe had Bella squeaking with astonishment. "Did you just bite me?" she accused, the sound of her question muffled by the sheet she rested against.

"Just a nip." His voice was a soft rumble, melting into the soft ambiance of the room.

Her giggle was so soft she was certain he didn't hear.

Edward treated her other foot to the same unhurried treatment, squeezing it in entirety when finished.

"I'm moving on to the bottom of your legs," he warned.

It was a thoughtful idea, but Bella was already slumped in a puddle of goo against the bed. There was no fear, only anticipation.

Starting at her ankle, he smoothed oil to her knee. On the downward stroke, his thumbs pressed in against her calf. Bella thought she would come out of her skin. The muscles were sore from therapy and work, and the pleasure bordered on pain. He switched only when the bottom of her leg felt like a noodle.

Over and over, he used his fingers to release knots she didn't even know she had. So when he moved to her upper thigh with a soft warning, she had little interest in being concerned.

Lust took over as his fingertips trailed up the inside of her thigh. It should have overwhelmed her, but he didn't put pressure on her skin at any time. Ghosts of hurtful pinches, bruising fingers, and fists were replaced by fire, and want, and need. The cool of the metal as the chain dragged across her did something to Bella she couldn't even describe.

"Edward," she moaned, and the sound of it raced across his skin.

He drew back, clenching his fists where she couldn't see. It was the best kind of torture, being able to touch her. Taking a deep silent breath, he eased his hands back on her, taking the opportunity to bump against the delicate curve of her ass. Her gasp told him everything he needed to know. Encouraged by the heat he felt coming from her, Edward slid his fingers gently down the inside of her thigh, bumping against the swollen lips of her sex quickly before traveling back down to her knee.

Bella cried out, raising her ass toward him slightly. Edward could smell her arousal and felt the wetness against his fingers, but he didn't venture back again. He didn't trust himself just yet. What little control he did have was almost broken when she arched her back slightly, pushing her bottom out as he ran his thumbs up the back of her leg.

Unable to fully ignore the invitation, Edward placed his hands over the plump cheeks, letting them rest softly. If the chain connecting his hands so happened to drape down between her legs, resting against her sex . . . well that was something he couldn't control.

"I'm going to touch your ass now. Do you still have the remote?" His voice was dangerous. Too much of what he was feeling was infused into the deep gravelly sound of it.

She nodded. Trembling under him, Bella sucked in a deep breath. The scent of his cologne was faint in the air, making her want more. "Edward, would you get me my balm?"

"Sure," he responded.

A shift of the bed, and he was back, leaving the pot in easy reach for her.

Edward traced the small of her back while Bella swiped some of the gel on. When she rested her head against the bed, he continued. Moments of pressure faded into deep swipes of his thumbs across her butt cheeks. And while the massage was meant to be relaxing, it was anything but. Bella groaned as the pressure sent fire racing to her sex, and she felt wetness begin to run down the inside of her leg.

Visions of taking her from behind bombarded Edward. He had to work hard not to grab and hold onto the plump flesh he stroked.

 _One day,_ he promised himself. One day.

Didn't mean he couldn't tell her. "You have a perfect ass." Scratching his fingernails lightly across her skin, he felt her shiver. "I want to take you from behind," he said against the skin between her shoulder blades, kissing her quickly. "Not now, though." He used his thumbs to massage the dimples above her curves as he kept his lips against her skin.

Bella gripped the sheets, her hands fisting tightly.

Edward noticed her reaction immediately. "Are you okay?"

Unable to speak, she nodded sharply.

"Let me know if you need to stop."

"I will," she whispered, jauntily wiggling the remote at him.

Even though she couldn't see him, or maybe because she couldn't, Edward rolled his eyes at her.

Unwilling to leave her ass so quickly, Edward tapped his fingertips across the tense muscles like he was playing a piano. The pressure was relentless, and after long moments of the torment, she couldn't control the way her hips lifted toward him.

She wanted him, really wanted him.

Damning the morals that had led him to convince her to wait for their wedding, she growled.

Smoothing his palms over her, Edward grinned. This was his plan, to show her the pleasure she could find at his touch.

Following her spine, he worked his thumbs to each side. Bella groaned as he passed over tight knots of muscles. The lust that'd built during his attention to her ass dissipated, melting into the ecstatic pain of his hands working the tight knots.

"Fuck," she whispered as a particularly sore space beside her left shoulder blade sent pain racing through every nerve in her back. The pressure of Edward's thumbs released, and she shuddered at the relief.

His gentle assault continued across her shoulders and down her arms before he took her neck in his hands and applied enough pressure to ease the strain there. While his attention to her butt had made her crave his touch, the gentle tug of her hair was electrifying.

"Bella, is this okay?" Edward worried about what she'd said about her hair . . . how the men had held her by it. It was a major trigger, yet she stretched toward him, seemingly encouraging him to continue.

Boneless, Bella sank into the bed as Edward continued to tug her hair in short gentle pulls. Her scalp tingled with the pressure. She wished it didn't make her breath stutter in remembrance, but it did. Luckily, he kept his actions gentle, insistent but gentle. Bella could feel him against her; his cock hard against the side of her thigh.

The small kernel of fear angered her. She thought she'd left it behind, but the landmines hidden across her body threw open the gates again. Thankfully the healing she'd found with Carol, Marcus, Jane … and Edward kept the chink in the armor small. Allowing the sensual pleasure his fingers imparted strengthen her, and she mentally slammed the door shut.

"You okay?" The timbre of his voice wrapped around her, licking along her skin like fire.

"Green."

He chuckled at her cheeky reply. "If that's so, are you brave enough to turn over?"

 _Turn over?_ Bella pondered, the curve of her lips against the fabric turning feral. _Hell, yes._

Without hesitation, she turned, her hand brushing against his erection in doing so. She smirked as he closed his eyes at the touch. Just as satisfying was the way his eyes roamed over her hungrily when he opened them. Slowly, he reached forward to pluck a rose petal from her hair using it to trace her cheek gently.

"I've told you a thousand times, but I'll say it again. You are fucking perfect." The words were all but growled.

She shivered in pleasure, and his eyes darkened as she undulated against the sheets. That his eyes grew hooded made her feel infinitely powerful. Certain her gaze was just as hungry as his, she unabashedly stared as he moved to the bottom of the bed. He picked up her foot to rest it on his upper thigh, allowing her high arch to rest against the base of his cock, his tight balls smooth but hard against her heel. He tilted a bottle of oil into his hand, rubbing the liquid around his palms before picking up her foot again. He started by running his fingers through her toes, pulling each one slightly before releasing them.

Bella was too relaxed to react when he used his thumb to smooth along her high arch. However, the farther up her leg he moved, lust replaced complacency again.

The music didn't change, the lighting didn't lessen, the smell of the candles was the same, and the sheets remained cool under her, but something dramatically shifted in the room. Her skin ached for his touch, and she felt she would die if he didn't touch her sexually. "Edward…" she moaned as he lightly touched the back of her knee.

"Yes." He startled her by stealing a kiss, the chain clinking above her head as he framed her face between his arms.

She huffed, and he chuckled.

It took her a moment to realize he'd caged her fully, his legs to the side of hers, her breasts crushed against the firm muscles of his chest, his erection snug against her clit. It was the first time he'd put his weight on her, the first time he'd held her in the way the rapists had. Then, she'd been weak. Now, she was strong, and she knew Edward would move immediately if needed. This wasn't being controlled; it was about the need to feel each other skin to skin.

"I want to touch you," he murmured as he kissed her gently.

Bella teetered on a cliff. Edward's touch both excited and consoled her, but the feel of him pressed to her had fighting the momentum for a second before she realized what was happening was far too exciting to resist, and she ceased struggling, arching up into him. Guttural sounds broke between them at the way their bodies aligned.

He shifted to the side, propping on his elbow. With his free hand, he linked their fingers. It was awkward, the back of his hand cupped by hers, the chain trailing behind.

"Touch yourself."

Her sex clenched at his directive. She was desperate enough to do so, and attempted to pull her hand from his, but he clenched their fingers together, refusing to let go.

"Touch yourself," he ordered again.

His words made her desperate, and she growled in frustration, trying to move her hand from his. This time, he moved with her and the light bulb went on.

Gasping, Bella's eyes widened as she stared into Edward's deep green stare. He didn't look away, maintaining their contact as she moved his hand over her clavicle. Goosebumps followed their path, spreading quickly across her skin as the chain caressed her as well. Back and forth, she moved his fingertips across the fine bones, heat pooling deep in her stomach.

Following her sternum, she moaned when his broad hand covered a great part of both of her breasts, barely missing her nipples. But the chain didn't, gliding over her left nipple in a cold, smooth stroke. Both nipples stiffened painfully, the liquid heat exploding exponentially and making her press her thighs together in need of relief. The throbbing between her legs was almost unbearable.

Edward's focus never wavered from her face, and it was difficult for Bella to maintain the intimate contact. It was too honest, too powerful, too raw. But she couldn't look away; it was the love and respect she saw in his face.

Yes, he wanted to fuck her. The evidence was clear in his dilated eyes, the flush of his skin, and the leaking cock pressed to her side, but he was as still as a statue, allowing her to control his touch.

Bella stopped, their hands resting on her stomach. The heat of his palm and the rough texture of his skin seared her, but his touch was gentle, his hand never moving from where she'd brought them to rest.

"Thank you." Edward's voice was soft.

"Not through," she replied, realizing he thought she wanted to stop. "Just give me a moment."

"Bella—"

"No! Edward, I'm fine. This . . ." she squeezed his hand slightly " . . . feels better than you can ever imagine." Reaching up, she captured his lips in a kiss. It was a tender one, but she poured her every emotion into it. He met her with gentle ferocity, jumping when she moved their hands upwards to cup her breast.

Unable to control it, Bella broke from their kiss, shouting out at this touch.

Edward froze, the tight nub firm against his palm. He longed to brush his thumb over the firm peak, but he needed to assess Bella, waiting to see her reaction. When she pressed his hand firmer against her body, he had his answer. Shifting, he brushed their thumbs across the engorged tip, watching in delight as she trembled and her breaths came in short pants. It took everything he had not to grind his weeping cock against her, but this was not the night for that, so he focused on how beautiful she was.

A rosy flush colored her skin and the color of her pink nipples darkened as he stroked. They were almost the color of the rose petals dotting her skin. He wondered if they were just as soft. Risking a negative reaction, he pinched the turgid peak he'd been stroking gently and heard Bella's cry of passion. Wanting to own it, he lowered his lips back to her, drinking in her moans as their tongues caressed and he tugged gently at her breast. Slowly, he stretched to touch her other nipple, giving it the same attention as the first.

Bella writhed against Edward as he moved back slightly over her, letting her grow accustomed to his weight. It was his turn to moan when she threaded her fingers through his hair, guiding his lips down her neck and across the upper curve of her breast. Edward needed no further encouragement.

Her hand tightened painfully in his hair when he rubbed his lips softly across her nipple, but it was the way she pressed against him, offering her breast to him, that told him she was okay. Anxious to taste her for the first time, he lapped gently against her.

The simple caress fanned the flame of desire between them, causing it to explode like throwing gasoline on a fire. Bella shouted out his name, and Edward's hips flexed involuntarily against her in need. He sucked her nipple into his mouth, savoring it and dragged another moan out of her that stiffened his cock painfully. He smiled against her skin when she fisted his hair again.

Raising his head to kiss her, he groaned into it. It was wild, wet and deep, as her tongue twined against his. When she bit his lip, his body bucked against his shaky control. She was naked, hot, and willing in his arms, and he wanted to bury himself balls deep into her. The realization doused his lust slightly.

 _Not yet_ . . . he told himself.

It was too soon. She needed a little more time. He needed a little more time . . . in which to make her crave him uncontrollably. He had to be careful, to go slowly, so that he would never hurt her physically or mentally. But it was difficult. He could smell her arousal. It saturated the air around them, stoking his desire to taste her.

Instead, he kissed her again, mimicking what he wanted to do with his cock. Gasping when they finally broke apart, Bella guided him back to her breast, where he sucked her nipple back into his mouth greedily. It was a fine line between gentle and rough, but if her cries of passion were his barometer, Bella was enjoying his torture.

It was only natural Bella link their hands again, leading him across the soft skin of her stomach and down. Growling, Edward sucked her nipple hard when she used their fingers to bump over her clit and down through her wet lips. Lust filled his brain causing him to shake against her as he felt the wetness coat them. Needing no instruction here, he pushed her a little, taking control of their direction.

Bella clawed at his shoulder with her free hand when he circled her clit slowly, bumping the swollen nub slightly at each opportunity. She surrendered to his skill, barely aware of what he was doing as the pressure in her lower abdomen grew unbearable. Unaware, she parted her legs as her hips undulated against him. Entranced by the fire consuming her, she moaned when his fingers circled her opening, teasing with just a fingertip before moving back to her throbbing clit. Over and over Edward taunted her, entering a little deeper, pressing a little harder, leaving her wanting just as an orgasm threatened.

Nothing remained but the need to feel and have him touch her. Thrashing her head back and forth, she begged, growling at him as he continued to tease her. His fingers touched her g-spot briefly, causing her to shout and raise her hips toward him greedily. But like before, he retreated, never giving her time to panic. Through it all, the clink of the chain as it moved added a dark timbre to the ambiance while guaranteeing she was fully in control.

"Please!" she screamed when she began seeing spots.

Chuckling harshly, Edward scraped his teeth across her nipple and he pressed hard against her clit. It was all she needed, and he watched as she froze in a look of total abandon.

Bella's body felt ripped into a million pieces by the overwhelming power of her orgasm. It rolled from deep within where her walls clenched hungrily, seeking his cock to milk. Legs clenched in utter bliss, she let the heat roll across her, leaving a wake of goosebumps and fire. She had to gasp for breath when it was finally over, her lungs having seized in the effort.

Unwilling to leave her, Edward brushed gently again against her clit, and Bella experience a round of aftershocks, the soft throbbing of the second orgasm much gentler. Tears fell from her eyes at how good it had felt to have Edward touch her.

He still did, his fingers draped over her tender parts gently, his breath washing over her sensitive nipple. His trembling told her how much it has cost him to give her this, and she felt guilty.

Enough so that she tugged at his hair, leading him back to kiss her. It was a bit animalistic, the way he bit at her lips and surged into her mouth with his tongue. She basked in his need, maneuvering to capture his cock in her hand.

His grunt was deep at the contact. "Bella, it's fine. This was about you," he said in a pained voice.

"I know," she grinned against his lips. "And I like feeling you come on me." She jerked hard, nipping at his lips as he shouted.

It didn't take long for her hard strokes and kisses to make him come. Hot streams of semen coated her stomach and breasts as he ground harshly against her and muttered her name, how much he wanted her, how he wanted to fuck her. Finally, he sagged in relief, his arm draping across her wet stomach, the chain contouring to the curve of her waist.

"Fuck," he murmured. "I don't think I can move."

She giggled, squirming closer to his chest as he moved to her side. Reeking of sex and sticky from it all, there were still a lot worse things to do than fall asleep in a post-orgasm induced coma with the man she loved.

~Honor~

I'm almost too embarrassed to admit this, but I had to go to my husband for technical advice on the winch. He has one . . . and no, it isn't mounted over our bed, but he helped me figure out if my little scene would actually work. IMAGINE that conversation – almost as good as the one between Edward and Jasper. HA!

Just a little more to go!


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. And to NanStew who has helped me immensely. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!

Hope everyone's having a great weekend!

~Honor~

"I'm getting married in Vegas, and I'm looking for something simple. Elegant, but simple," Bella told Diane. They'd already discussed Bella's size and preference for ivory.

Esme had suggested they contact her friend when Bella mentioned the need to look for a dress. Little had Bella known that the Diane Esme had referred to was considered Seattle's premiere wedding consultant. And as such, she had access to all the upscale boutiques, including the exclusive Marcella's, which is where they sat early on a Monday morning well before normal business hours.

"Essie guessed you'd say that." Diane grinned as she clapped her hands together.

Bella grinned at the nickname Diane used for Esme. She didn't know what she'd thought Diane would be like, but the gregarious, unassuming, natural beauty was far from the four- inch heel, power-suit personality she'd imagined.

Esme scrunched her nose delicately as Diane hurried out of the room. "Told you that you'd like her."

Grinning at her future mother-in-law, Bella simply shook her head. "She reminds me of Alice."

Putting her hand to her chest, Esme chuckled. "Diane helped Alice plan her wedding. It was quite the manic affair." She smiled softly. "The result was magical though."

"Thanks for coming with me," Bella said quickly.

Esme's face transformed with what Bella could only describe as motherly love. She'd seen it from afar . . . this softening of the cheeks and widening of the eyes when mothers looked upon their children. In grade school and high school, she'd seen it as the students around her earned accolades, and most recently, it had been at the commissioning ceremonies where parents dutifully pinned bars on their adult children's shoulders. But never from Renee. She and her mother had come to a mature understanding, a resolution of their issues, before Renee's death, but there had never been a moment that Bella remembered her mother looking upon her with love. Charlie had told her that Renee once saw Bella as the center of her world, but Bella didn't have any of those memories . . . other than a few pictures where Renee did seem to be holding her with care.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," Esme responded. "You're mine now. And we Cullens take care of our own. You may wish you hadn't gotten involved in this chaos known as our family, but once you're here, we don't let go." She snickered. "We keep Aro after all, and that man is just plain crazy."

Bella had heard more than a few stories about Edward's granduncle. She just remembered him from the funeral as being more odd than scary. But it reminded her of something.

"Esme, is it customary for Cullen men to wear kilts to their weddings?"

"Typically, but no one would be upset if you don't go with tradition."

"Actually, I was hoping that Edward would wear his, and that I could incorporate a sash or something into my dress." Bella felt the blush warm her cheeks. "I mean . . . who hasn't had fantasies about a handsome man in a kilt?"

The smile Esme gave Bella was close to blinding. "The tradition is for the groom to wrap the plaid around the bride's shoulders after the exchange of the vows. Diane can work with that."

"Work with what?" the woman said as she walked through the swinging door. She was pulling a rack behind her. It was loaded with dresses.

"Bella wants to incorporate the Cullen tartan."

"Well, aren't we lucky that I remember it from Alice and Jasper's wedding? We'll need to go with lighter ivory colors to match." Dianne's eyes twinkled. "For our first round, I chose gowns either without a train, or ones that have a demi train."

"First round?" Bella croaked.

Diane and Esme exchanged a look.

"Let's just get started, we'll set the ones to the side that you might be interested in trying on."

Diane had barely gotten the first dress off the rack before Bella was shaking her head. While beautiful, the neckline would cut to her navel. So it went, and it soon became clear that Bella favored dresses with clean lines and little ornamentation. Only a few selections had gone into the maybe pile, but she knew when they'd found 'the one.' It was so simple it was almost plain, but the gown seemed to call to her.

Ivory satin, the strapless sweetheart neckline would hug her breasts, while the smooth fabric narrowed at the waist then gently flared, providing a soft drape of material to the floor. "That's the one."

"Bella?" Esme said in a shocked voice.

"It's the one." She felt it deep within her heart.

"Are you sure? It took Alice and Rose months to find their dresses."

Chuckling, Bella pushed up from the comfortable seat Dianne had supplied, and she slowly moved toward the beautiful dress.

"Well, I don't have months, but even if I did, I'd want this one. May I try it on, please?"

"Okay." Diane smiled at her pleading tone. "It is one of the most beautiful gowns here, but it would take a discerning eye to see the perfection in the simplicity. That you've recognized it gives me hope that we can make this perfect in the time we have."

Minutes later, Bella emerged from the dressing room, the gown hugging her slender frame and soft curves. Esme and Diane had frozen when she appeared, Esme's hand covering her mouth. Bella squirmed under their perusal.

Self-conscious as they continued to stare, she started to turn away only to stop when Esme sobbed.

"You look like a princess, and that color is going to drive Edward crazy. It's hard to distinguish where your skin ends and the dress begins." She grinned mischievously. "May I touch your hair for a moment?" she asked, coming to stand slightly beside Bella.

Nodding, Bella swallowed hard.

"Turn around and look." Esme nodded toward the three floor length mirrors.

When she did, Esme reached slowly to gather Bella's hair just to the side of her face, pulling it gently to twist the long strands toward the back of her head. "Curl your hair just enough to wave it, and we'll pull it back like this and secure it with some heather." It was a very medieval look, but it went perfectly with the gown.

"Make sure to bring one curl forward to rest over one of her breasts to taunt Edward," Dianne suggested with a naughty leer.

It was exactly what Bella needed to break her tension, and she laughed with the other two. She did feel like a princess. Not an overdone, glorified one, but in an outdoor wedding sort of way. If given enough imagination, she could see herself on the cover of one of those romance novels Leah used to read . . . bent slightly backwards over Edward's arm, their family plaid floating around her as Edward leaned down to kiss the top of her breast. Behind them would be the wild moors of Scotland, perhaps a howling wolf in the background.

Her attention snapped back to reality, and she snickered at her vision. Again, her thoughts were jogged.

"Esme, pardon me for being dumb, but isn't the surname Cullen Irish?"

It was Esme's turn to laugh. "Yeah. It's a long dramatic story, and I suggest you don't get Aro started unless you want to spend hours listening to the history. I'll make it simple by saying the family is Scottish and Irish. It happened back during Edward I's advances into Scotland. Their Cullen ancestor was a favorite of the king and was sent to rule one of the lands Edward's army defeated. He married the eldest daughter, launching a torrid love affair that was documented in history. Brion gained the loyalty of his people and several neighboring clans over time and the family survived the many changes of rule over the centuries."

"A torrid love affair," Bella murmured, raising her eyebrow in a teasing manner at Esme in the reflection. Visions of the bosom-flashing paperback cover flashed back through her mind.

"Yes. Cullen men are known for them."

Flashes of black leather, light skin, and Edward's arms stretched upward as his muscles strained distracted her for a moment. Then she grinned. "I can see that," Bella admitted.

"Bella, I think the dress fits you almost perfectly, but how does it feel?"

Resting her arms to her side, she breathed deeply, twisting a little to see if the top would fall. She'd never worn anything so revealing, but for her wedding, it felt classy instead of risqué. With the flowing fit, everything felt right, except, perhaps, being a little loose around her ribs. She still needed to regain some weight. "I think it's good, except around here." She fluttered her hands just below her breasts.

"May I?" Diane asked, making Bella wonder what Esme had told her.

When she nodded, Diane moved behind her, pulling the material gently at the zipper. "Honestly, there is only a little extra here. A thin corset would help push the girls up more and fill in. It would be sexy, as well, when the dress comes off." She waggled her eyebrows at Bella in the reflection causing her to blush.

"Let me bring out a couple that I think will work, and you can try them on with the dress."

Like her selection of the wedding gown, Bella's choice of a corset and matching thong took only a few seconds . . . but a huge chunk of her delicate sensibilities. She thought she would die when Esme compared two of the pairs of underwear.

Diane was right, though. The corset added what she needed around her ribs, even if it made her boobs almost pop over the neckline. "Are you sure this is okay?" she asked as she tried to tug the material higher.

"It's beautiful, and you look amazing," Esme encouraged. "But you need to feel comfortable."

Dropping her arms again, Bella forced herself to look beyond her conservative core to the woman looking back in the mirror. A dark haired beauty, she looked like someone Edward would have on his arm. A flush of pleasure warmed Bella's skin. This is who she wanted to be as she walked into Edward's arms. If her boobs were a little more on display than usual, it might just keep him on the edge. And she would take what she could get, because she didn't want their honeymoon night to be anything less than spectacular.

"Trust me, Edward's thoughts are going to be nothing less than explosive when he wraps the plaid around your shoulders," Diane promised.

Bella couldn't stop the giggle that brewed in her chest and bubbled over. "Then if that is the case, let's go for it."

Even with the luck of finding a dress on her first try, Bella had to leave it for the length to be altered. She'd be wearing flats to walk down the 'short aisle' on Charlie's arm.

"Let's go get some lunch," Esme suggested, and Bella's stomach grumbled in agreement.

It was only after they'd gotten their salads and waters that Esme spoke more about the wedding ceremony.

"Bella, I know your father is determined to pay for the wedding, including the transportation, but Carlisle and I have an option we'd like to talk to him about. The Bellagio is going to be expensive enough without the plane trip, and we have an option we'd like to offer. The CEO of the hospital has a Gulfstream that can carry up to 17 passengers, which would cover Japer's and Emmett's families, you and Edward, Carlisle and I, your dad, and Jacob's family. Carlisle did him a big favor years ago by attending a medical conference with him. Their attendance led to a fruitful contract for the hospital, and Evan has felt indebted since. He's offered us the use of the plane for family vacations repeatedly, but we've never taken him up on the offer."

"Wow." Bella's hand had stalled halfway to her mouth, a cucumber speared on the tines of the fork. "A Gulfstream, really? What I wouldn't do to get my hands on that baby." Her palms literally itched.

Grinning, Esme nodded. "It would help us in letting Evan repay a favor, and the thought of riding all together is definitely a fun one. But we didn't know how to approach your father, because we didn't want him to be insulted."

"Actually, dad would probably be thrilled about the idea of a private jet. Let me tell him about it. I'll explain. How soon do we need to let him know?"

"Carlisle already asked if he could reserve the weekend in hopes of convincing your father. Evan told us it's ours. It'll be gassed and ready with the pilot."

"Gah . . . I wish I had my license. Imagine taking that baby in the air."

Laughing, Esme took a drink of water. The rest of the lunch was spent talking about the finer details, including Esme's idea to call the Bellagio and see if they could use the Botanical Gardens for photos after the ceremony. In addition, they discussed Bella's idea of working with the hotel to cater the reception afterward. It would be expensive, but with Charlie paying for the hotel, and the offer of free transportation, Bella wanted to do something toward the ceremony. Lastly, Esme asked about the bridal bouquet, something Bella hadn't even thought about.

"The use of heather is traditional, right?" she asked.

"For a Scottish-themed wedding."

"But it would match the idea for my hair, and couldn't we do something simple for Edward?"

"I think so. If you trust me to do so, I'll locate some florists in Vegas and come up with some ideas you can look at."

Esme appeared shy in some way, and Bella pondered her observation. However, her answer was almost immediate. "I'd love that."

It would seem it was the correct answer, because Esme's face bloomed with joy. Edward's mother was still talking flowers when she dropped Bella off at the loft with a quick kiss to Bella's cheek.

Thrilled she hadn't reacted in a negative manner, Bella walked into the building on cloud nine. A note on her door stopped her from entering her loft.

 _Hey, Babe. I didn't want to bother you while you and my mom were shopping, but come wake me if you get home before I get up. Love, E_

She was home much earlier than anyone would have expected. Her luck at finding a dress so quickly was obviously unprecedented for Cullen women.

Cullen women . . .

How easy it was to think of herself as one. Smiling, she quickly opened his door, slipping into the quiet loft. She dropped her purse and keys on his sofa table, and then removed her jacket and shoes. It was too soon for him to get up, but not too soon for her to join him for a nap.

She smiled in delight when a groggy Edward murmured her name and pulled her securely into his arms, tucking her firmly against his chest.

~Honor~

Heat blazed along her neck as a butterfly flicked along her skin. Brushing at it, she felt the silk of its wings, but it was the chuckle that woke her as the persistent butterfly continued to attack.

"Good morning," Edward breathed along the top of her shoulder, the softness of his hair the silk that'd been tickling her.

"Morning? It's time to eat dinner."

He chuckled and the brush of him against her as he did, threatened to rob her of speech. He lay on top of her, his erection pressed at her sex, his chest against her breasts. Everything in her tightened, and she arched against him.

"Hmm . . ." she hummed. Sinking into the softness of his mattress, she wrapped her legs around Edward's hips. "What are our plans for tonight?"

"Not staying here, as much as it pains me." He pushed his hips against her to make a point.

"Why not?" She pursed her lips as she shifted against him enticingly.

In reaction, Edward laughed softly, using a fingertip to trace the perfect pout. "Because if we stay here, you'll tempt me beyond my control."

"And that would be bad, because?" Bella narrowed her eyes at him.

"I have one more thing I want to try before our wedding night; however, you tempt me beyond hope at times." He quickly kissed her lips.

His eyes darkened at her raised brow, and the air crackled between them.

"It involves my lips, and should end with your legs wrapped around my head and you screaming my name."

Bella's breath seized in her chest, the ache in her core almost immediate.

But where Bella's will was weak, Edward's was strong. Within moments, he had them sitting at his table, large cups of coffee before them both.

"Did you have fun today?"

"Yeah. I found my dress. Your mom couldn't believe it."

"Wow." His eyes were big. "It took Alice months."

Bella shrugged. "I got lucky, I guess." She scooted the chair she was sitting in closer to him, reaching over to link their hands. "I need a favor though."

"Anything." His answer was immediate.

It filled her with joy that he hadn't hesitated to answer. "What if I asked for something kinky?" she challenged. The man _had_ answered without knowing what she wanted.

It was his turn to arch his eyebrow, and Bella blushed at what she'd said. "Kinkier," she hastily added.

He snickered into his coffee cup. "What do you need me to do?"

She traced the rim of her coffee cup. "Would you be willing to wear your kilt for the wedding?"

Gently placing his cup back down on the table, Edward smoothed his thumb against hers. "Of course."

"Your mom said something about a plaid for my dress."

Edward's eyes widened, and Bella couldn't remember a time when he'd looked more possessive. "You want to incorporate a plaid, too?"

"Yeah."

"It signifies to everyone that you're mine, that you're taking my family as your own."

She smiled gently. "Well, I guess as to families, yours is a good one to belong to."

"I think so." His voice was gruff as he said it.

"What time do you have to be at work?"

"Seven. So I still have several hours to corrupt you," he waggled his eyebrows at her.

"I seem to remember someone mentioning a pair of lips and me screaming, but my memory is a little foggy." A mischievous look crossed her face. "You know, in school, we did these tests to determine what type of learners we were, and I was told I'm a kinesthetic learner. Do you know what that means?" she teased.

Edward smirked.

"Hands on, baby." She held her free hand up and wiggled her fingers. "Perhaps, I need to do some tactile work."

Unfortunately, Edward had just taken a large swallow of coffee and it went down the wrong way. Coughing, he tried not to laugh at the same time. "Babe, I want more than just a stolen hour with you when I'm finally able to taste between your legs. Because once won't be enough." He shrugged. "I also took a similar exam years ago. Seems I'm an auditory learner. Do you know what they excel at?"

Bella shook her head.

"Oral instruction and exams."

Bella's coffee went down wrong this time, and she had a harder time recovering. Edward attempted to cover his grin with his mug, but she saw it anyway.

"Smarty-pants."

"Trust me, Bella. When I get you out of _your_ pants, you'll see I'm definitely a fast learner." He leaned forward, the look on his face one of promise. "I'm going to want you to tell me just how hard you want me to suck on your clit. How much of my tongue you like in you while I rub you. How my tongue feels against your lips, and whether or not you want to fuck my face when my fingers touch your G-spot"

Lips parted, Bella had frozen. Prolific images of his copper hair between her legs filled her brain, and she squirmed against the seat in need.

"Question is, do you want the chains to drag across your skin at the same time? Or are you ready to have me touch you without them?"

Her gasp was loud in the space between them. "That's so unfair, you know . . . teasing me like that."

He grinned when she smacked the back of his hand in punishment. His grin grew larger when she shook her finger at him.

"You and your oral skills."

He chuckled at her witty repartee.

She pulled her shirt collar up primly. "I'm ready. Was the last time, but I definitely didn't mind the visual of you all tied up in leather and chains."

He leaned over, capturing her lips with his. The kiss was one of communion, just a little tongue and nip.

"Then if you don't have any plans for Wednesday night, I'm off for two days . . . and they're my last ones off before the wedding. I'd love nothing more than to take you to a nice dinner and then see if I can pass any exam you put before me afterward."

Bella swallowed hard.

"For now, let's heat up some of that vegetable lasagna we made, and I'll toss a salad. I wouldn't mind a little cuddle time in front of the television before I have to go to work."

Bright green eyes, copper hair shining even in the light of the apartment, he looked like a little boy begging for a cookie.

"Perfect," she responded.

~Honor~

Please give me a little literary freedom with the Scottish Irish thing. I did some research to determine a time that an Irish man might make his place in Scottish history, so I went with one of the wilder periods of Scot history. Smile.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

Life always gives us reasons, and I do have some very good ones as to why it has taken several months for me to get to this chapter. While I have had migraines throughout my life, I can't say that I truly understood what people meant when they've said they _suffered_ from them . . . until now. Add into that, a comorbid diagnosis of carpal tunnel, and I wondered when I would ever feel like writing again. The last four months have been incredibly difficult, but these two characters wouldn't let me go.

Thanks to every one of you who emailed me to check on me. I couldn't answer many of the messages, but just knowing that you were thinking of me and the story really made my day. And as always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc for her beta power! Sherry – please accept this as a late birthday gift. I'll be emailing you this evening.

This is just a little chapter and stops short of where I hoped to take it, but I can promise you that I'm working on the next one at this moment. I hope you enjoy, and I promise you that I will not abandon this story – I promise.

Also, just a shout out. I'm excited to be a judge in the P.S. I Love You contest. You can find us on Facebook under the same name. I hope you'll consider submitting a one-shot (beginning November 5th), because I know I would love to read them.

~Honor~

Edward took a deep breath as he smoothed the towel across his newly shaved face. His hospital shift had been horrendous, and he wasn't in the best frame of mind after losing a patient on the operating table.

God complex, some called it.

He called it failure.

It didn't matter the man was elderly and had a history of chronic heart problems. All that mattered was the way the hopeful look on his family's faces, particularly his granddaughter's, had morphed into grief as Edward walked into the waiting area. The man may have succumbed to the pull of death, but Edward could've sworn he'd died with a smile on his face . . . a probability that had next to a nonexistent chance. Or at least it would seem an impossibility until he met the family and heard the numerous stories of the man's beloved wife, who'd passed away just months prior. It would seem his patient had had everything to live and die for.

Walking into his closet, Edward pulled boxers from the built-in chest before selecting a pair of dark dress pants and blue button-down shirt to wear. He'd promised Bella a nice dinner, and he planned to follow through with that before he revealed his surprise. Like she'd suggested, he'd tell her about his day, relying on her to help him manage the stress. It was an odd feeling having someone to depend on in this way, but wasn't that what he'd always wanted? What he'd always envied his brothers and father for having?

Shrugging on the shirt, he worked quickly to fasten it, tucking it into his pants before sliding a belt through the loops. Passing the garment bag holding his tartan, he chuckled at the memory of Bella asking him to wear it for the wedding. Lurid fantasies of utilizing the quick access to take Bella up against the wall of their honeymoon suite filtered through his mind. He could imagine it clearly . . . her pale legs wrapped around his hips, the green of his tartan in contrast against the pale of her skin.

"Settle down," he muttered against the desire searing his senses.

Some might deem him odd to be able to experience such diverse emotions, the anger at losing someone and overwhelming desire, within a few minutes, but it was the ability to feel them in such bittersweet levels that had made him move so quickly in asking Bella to marry him. If there was one thing Edward had learned in his short career as a doctor, it was that no one lived forever, and in life, when you found something to live for you grabbed it with both hands and held on tight.

He knew he loved Bella with every ounce of his being. It didn't matter their courtship had been so short. When you knew, you knew. Call it the curse of Cullen men, but when they found their mates, nothing would dissuade them. For Carlisle, it had been the challenge of wooing Esme away from another, undeserving man. Emmett had worked diligently and patiently to break through Rosalie's defenses. The forces that had scared Jasper had only been slayed by a woman who could embrace the very nature that tortured him.

James . . . well Jamie had found love only to lose it.

" _Edward, she's the one," Jamie said with a big grin. He drained his mug of beer with one thirsty gulp._

" _The woman you met the other night?" Edward asked. He'd noticed Jamie's stillness when his eyes lit on the redhead. Like a shark cutting through water after its prey, Jamie had made his way toward the vivacious woman through the crowd of partiers._

" _Victoria." Jamie nodded. "But she thinks I'm a freak." Edward's little brother grinned as if it was all good._

" _Because . . ." Edward had a feeling about what Jamie would share._

" _Because I told her she was mine, and we could forget about all the pretenses and go back to my place." Jamie smiled brilliantly. "She packs a mean right."_

 _Edward had noticed the bruise below Jamie's eye, but he'd long since given up trying to warn Jamie about his devil-may-care attitude._

" _She's perfect . . ." Jamie's blue eyes sparkled with the challenge. At Edward's rolled eyes, Jamie laughed. "Just wait. You'll be as whooped when your girl finds you."_

It'd only taken Jamie two weeks to wear down Victoria's defenses. As for Edward, he'd been struck from the moment he turned to see Bella being wheeled down the church aisle in her dress blues.

Splashing on the cologne Bella loved, Edward smirked. In love and war, everything was fair, and if the smell of him helped Bella break down her walls and defeat her enemies, who was he to not use every strategy he had in the battle?

Grabbing his wallet and keys from his bedside table, Edward looked over the preparations he'd made for later that evening. While his mood might derail the evening, he was at least prepared. Roses and candles adorned the tops of his furniture, the music was already cued on the iPod he kept attached to the Bose system, and the handcuffs and chains were handy just in case. He hoped he wouldn't need them, but he was prepared for the possibility. Satisfied he'd done everything he could do, he left, making his way to Bella's door. She answered almost instantaneously.

"What's wrong?" she asked, drawing him into her embrace.

Resting his cheek against the soft fall of her hair, he sighed into her. "Bad day at work. I lost someone."

She broke away gently before taking his hand and leading him over to the sofa. "Tell me," Bella ordered, patting the spot exactly beside her.

And so he did. Everything he'd learned about the man who'd lost his life, his wife, their life as told to him by those who'd loved them.

"Babe, I'm so sorry," she said when he finished, squeezing his hand, while she dashed away a few tears. "You want to cancel tonight and stay in?"

"No, this might sound strange, but somehow it would feel disrespectful of how my patient lived his life. Almost as if my grief over losing his life is more important than how he'd lived it."

Edward stretched his neck, sighing as the muscles softened and his neck popped. It took him a minute to realize Bella had frozen beside him.

"Oh my God," she stuttered.

"What?" he murmured, worried about the shock etched so clearly across her delicate face.

"I almost did that. I almost allowed the pain those men caused me to overshadow what Jamie gave me."

Pinching her chin between his fingers, Edward lifted Isabella's face so he could see her eyes. "Bella, I'm sure it felt that way, but the moment I saw Jake rolling you down the aisle, there was such life and fight in you."

"Maybe. But inside . . ."

He waited through her pause.

"Inside, I was frozen. Jamie would kick my ass." She chuckled, but the sound was watery. "No, he wouldn't have to worry. Carl would kick my ass for him." She sniffed against his chest.

"Carl, your friend from the veterans meetings?"

Bella nodded before crawling over to sit on Edward's lap, leaning her cheek against his chest.

"We were talking about the arrangements he's made to have his ashes taken back to his ship to be interred. I started getting upset about the conversation, but he stopped me. He told me grieving is for the living, not the dead, and he hoped his family would throw a party to celebrate his 'homegoing' as he put it. I just never put together what that meant about those of us left behind . . . about what it's all supposed to mean."

"Our legacy is what those left behind remember of us. How we've been changed by them, and them by us. How their lives intertwined with ours and made us better. That is what is important." Edward's chest rumbled against Bella's cheek as he spoke rapidly.

"Yeah.

They remained wrapped in each other's arms, Bella leaning on Edward, him resting his cheek against the top of her head for several minutes.

"Give me a few moments to touch up my eye makeup, and I'll be ready," she finally said.

Kissing her forehead, he released her and admired the view as she walked away. She was wearing a blue dress that made her skin glow. Following her into her room, he sat on the edge of the bed so he could watch her.

"I talked with my dad and he was okay with the idea of using the plane," she offered as she leaned forward to reline her eyes.

"Good. Other than our wedding bands, everything is taken care of then, and I thought we'd stop by Tiffany's this afternoon before we eat. Is that okay with you?"

She smiled as she used a large brush to dust powder across her cheeks. "Tiffany's is fine." Placing it onto a tray, she arched an eyebrow at him in the mirror. "Sorry, I'm not very glamorous tonight."

He thought she was beautiful. "You're gorgeous without makeup. When you dress like that, you're a knockout."

Turning, Bella rested her hip against the countertop to grin at him. "You're blind."

"With love," he countered, crooking his index finger to beckon her over.

Whether she knew it or not, her walk was pure sin, her hips swaying slightly. Bella didn't ease into the kiss they shared, choosing instead to wrap her fingers into his hair and pulling him to her as she bent slightly. They were both out of breath before they broke apart.

"We'd better leave, or all my good intentions will come crashing down around us," he said, his voice hoarse with lust. He still sat on her bed, and it was very tempting.

They'd yet to break Marcus' contract about keeping her bed for sleeping, but a flush-faced, blazing green-eyed, fuck-hair-sticking-up Edward tempted Bella.

"Yeah, let's get out of here," she muttered, eliciting a harsh chuckle from him.

~Honor~

"Congratulations on your nuptials," the girl who'd helped them said as she handed Bella the small bag containing their wedding bands.

Walking into the store had almost overwhelmed her, and her gut had clenched when she'd seen the cost of the simple platinum rings she'd liked. One day, in the far distant future, she'd get out of Edward how much he'd paid for her ring, but she was afraid to ask now. Edward was, by far, no spendthrift, but it was going to take Bella a little while to accustom herself to not worrying as much about finances. She'd been okay while in the military, but with the cost of the therapy her insurance didn't cover and the still lingering doubts about her future, she felt the need to pinch every penny. The concern lingered still as they ate an early dinner at Toulouse Petit, a French/Spanish/Creole fusion restaurant. The food, though, quickly dispelled her fear as she savored every bite of her meal and some of Edward's.

"Full?" he joked as she placed her fork down on the clean plate.

Grinning, Bella rubbed her stomach, leaning back against the chair. "Damn, that was good."

He smirked when she watched one of the waitresses walk by with dessert. "Would you like to order something?"

She groaned. "Yeah, but I don't think I could eat another bite."

Chuckling he motioned for the check.

"You know, you don't have to take me out to eat all the time," Bella said as they slowly walked the short distance to the car.

"I know. But I don't want to spend all our time together sitting at the house. When your legs are stronger and the weather isn't so cold, I have lots of activities I want us to do. Things I haven't done since I was a kid like the Space Needle, the Museum of Flight, and Pike Place Market. I want to take the Underground Tour, too."

Bella handed him her cane, which he stowed in the back seat. It was when he turned back onto the busy street she realized they weren't driving back toward their lofts.

"Where are we going?"

"To my surprise," he said with a secretive smile.

"Surprise?" Bella hated surprises and Edward knew this.

It was only the feel of his skin sliding against hers as he laced their fingers together for a reassuring squeeze that calmed her.

"Bella, breathe. You're going to like this one, I think."

She watched in interest as the muscle in his cheek jerked. He was nervous, she realized.

"Hmm . . ." she hummed with a chuckle. "I thought we were going home so I could attack you?"

Any nervousness disappeared as a wolfish look crossed his face. "Um . . .no. Tonight is all mine."

Edward took the advantage of a red light to look over at her. If it was possible, Bella felt like she might combust at the heat in his eyes. Her nipples tightened and she clenched her thighs together. His smirk told her he knew exactly what he was doing. To prove his point, Edward brought their linked hands to his lips, nipping her skin slightly. Bella's heart pounded in her chest as the heat from his eyes flared across her skin.

"Forget the surprise and let's go home."

Smiling, he shook his head at her. "Normally, your every wish is my command, but not now. Let me do this for you, please." He narrowed his eyes at her gently, and when he spoke his voice was a dark promise. "I'll make it up to you later."

Bella could no more control the shiver that ran through her than stop breathing. Vivid fantasies entertained her as he drove. By the time he pulled into a parking lot, she was a squirming mess. She ached for him so much it was all she could do not to beg him to take her. Distracted by her need, the name of the building before her didn't register until she was halfway up the walk.

 _Galvin Flying_

"Where are we?" she asked as she came to a stop, leaning on her cane heavily.

Edward's grin was shy. "A friend of a friend manages this place, and he agreed to open for us this evening."

Bella started to ask what he meant, but her curiosity was left wanting when the door to the business opened. Immediately comfortable with the military stance of the bear of a man in front of them, she guessed the Marines for his branch.

"You Cullen?" he asked of Edward before his eyes shot to her.

"Yeah." Edward held out his hand, and the Marine met it, all the while staring at her.

"You the Air Force pilot?" The man nodded toward Bella.

A thrill shot through her. For all she'd lost, she was still part of the Air Force, and a pilot she would be until the day she died . . . even if she was never let in another cockpit.

"I am." She hobbled a couple of steps closer with her cane before holding out her hand. "Bella Swan."

The man even grunted when he closed her hand in his. "Max Bane."

"Well, then, let's get inside. Since your man . . ." he nodded at Edward " . . . was true to his word about your arrival time, I'm yours for the next few hours."

Her confusion must have been written all over her face, because Edward finally took pity on her. "Galvin Flying is the premier flying school in Seattle. From what I was told, they have the newest flight simulator on the market."

"The Flagship. She'll give you at least a one-G experience," Max said with enough respect in his voice to tell Bella he loved his job.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand." She tried not to look clueless, but wasn't certain how effective she was.

"You're going flying tonight." Edward grinned at the way her mouth dropped.

~Honor~

Bella's face was flushed but unreadable when she exited the simulation room two hours later. Edward had spent the time answering emails and surfing the net. Although it had been a good use of his wait, every molecule of him had wanted to be with her. It had been a big risk leaving her in a position that could've triggered her PTSD, but it had been about trust. She'd promised if it became too much, she would abort the simulations Max had programmed. Other than a brief encounter when Edward had gone to the restroom, he'd not seen the man since.

That encounter, though, had let Edward know he'd been right to pull in this favor.

" _That girl of yours is amazing. Never seen anyone handle the controls better."_ Max's brief assessment, along with the shrill whistle of admiration that escaped him, had set Edward at ease.

Edward panicked, though, when Bella grabbed him by the hand and he had to almost jog to keep up with her. They barely made it to the hallway leading to the front door when Bella slapped him in the chest, causing him to fall back against the wall.

He panicked, thinking she was angry, until she jerked him down by the collar of his shirt to give him a kiss that should've set the building on fire around them. He came back to Earth when the grind of Bella's pelvis against his threatened to have him exploding in his boxers. Somehow, somewhere during their embrace, he'd turned to place her back against the wall and Bella's legs had wrapped around his waist. He was all but screwing her against the painted concrete.

Bella moaned as he broke from her. Foreheads touching, Edward panted against her lips.

"If that's the kind of thank-you I get, I'm bringing you here more often."

"It is and you are," she said, punctuating her words with a soft thrust of her hips.

Edward groaned at the pressure against his cock. "Fuck," he muttered.

"Yeah, I'd like to, but I'm sure you're going to hold me to that 'No sex until we're married rule.'"

He chuckled, and they both moaned at what the movement did to them.

"Did you enjoy flying, Bella?"

A suspicious sheen made her eyes sparkle. "More than you can even know." She leaned forward to place a gentle kiss against his lips. "More than you can even know."

"Get a room!" Max yelled from somewhere close.

Laughing, they left after Bella shouted out a "Thank you" to the man.

Her body hummed in pleasure the entire way back to their lofts. Edward was quiet, and she was thankful for his perceptiveness as she wallowed in delight at the memories of the feel of the throttle in her hand and the small g-force the machine had produced. She'd chosen flights over the ocean, where she could almost smell the salt water and across the snow covered mountains of Alaska where she'd felt as if her breath came out in puffs of white vapor. And while it was all so tame in comparison to the rush of adrenaline her fighter had produced, Bella still buzzed with endorphins. The only thing that could've made it any better would've been to have Edward at her side . . . or for it to be real. Either way, he'd given her a surprise that had nourished the flame of want in her until it was an inferno burning at her bones.

She needed to fly. There was no other choice but to do so, and Edward's surprise served to remind her. While she hadn't quite forgotten, perhaps there was a vein of complacency that had taken root in her heart.

No more.

"Thank you," she said when she was finally able to form words.

"For?"

"Reminding me of who I am."

"You never forgot. I just didn't want you to forget how much you like being you."

Bella smiled softly as he pulled into the parking lot for their building.

' _How much she liked being her.'_

What a notion.

Certainly, she thought as Edward gave her his hand to help her from the car— deviltry, promise, and lust shining in his eyes— she could say she expected to very much like being her in the next hour or so.

~Honor~

I would truly, truly love to know your thoughts.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.

I apologize for the delay in posting, but I promised to trudge along to get this story done – and I will. Those that know me know that I feel that lemonade is my worst offering, so again, I humbly submit the below.

Also, just a shout out. I'm excited to be a judge in the P.S. I Love You contest. You can find the contest on FF and Facebook under the same name. I hope you will go over and give the stories a read and vote. I'm certainly working hard to read and make selections. With no further delay, back to Bella and Edward.

~Honor~

Excitement electrified Bella's skin at the sound of Edward's door closing. The ride back from his surprise had been quiet, but it had been a comfortable silence. For Bella, she'd been embracing the high of the flights she'd experienced. The thrill had morphed into a smoldering desire for Edward's touch, so much so, she'd felt they'd never arrive home. She shivered when she sensed the heat of him behind her, and as he brushed her hair away from her neck.

"We can stop any time, Bella," he said softly, the tickle of his breath playing havoc with her skin.

Goosebumps formed and then magnified as he ran his lips softly over her flesh. Following the curve of her neck, he waited until he touched the skin below her ear before he nipped her.

Bella jumped with a squeak, then relaxed back against him, feeling the rumble of his soft laughter.

"When did I give you permission to bite me?" she asked

"You didn't," he mumbled. Running his fingertips down her neck and across her shoulder, Edward followed the arch of her arms before joining their hands. "Remember, all you have to do is say your safe word, and no matter what, I'll stop."

She nodded, the harsh pants of her breath giving away how turned on she was. Feeling lightheaded, Bella attempted to pull air into her lungs. Her actions only served to increase her arousal as his light cologne scented the space around them. His smell was her personal kryptonite. Bella felt everything in her clench in need.

"I won't be needing it."

"I know."

Two simple words, but they spoke so much. Bella trembled in his arms . . . this man who had so much faith in her. Releasing his hands, she turned and lifted onto her tiptoes to press her lips to his.

Edward sighed into her, reaching down to grab her thighs and lift her so that she wrapped them around his hips. Softly, he pressed her lips open and touched his tongue to hers, tasting gently. But the kiss quickly turned feral, Edward demanding more from her. Supporting her ass with one hand, he threaded his fingers through her hair, securing her to him.

"Fuck, I need you," he growled against her mouth what seemed hours later, nipping her bottom lip slightly.

She repaid him in kind, nibbling at his neck as he carried her into his bedroom. Bella felt no hesitation when her back hit the mattress, Edward's weight fully on top of her as they fell onto the bed. Shivering at the pleasure of his lips tracing across her collarbone, Bella gasped as he nuzzled the base of her throat.

"More," she begged and then groaned in displeasure when he pushed up on his elbows to hover over her.

Smirking, he gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "Have I told you today that I love you?"

She grinned back at him. "Only a hundred times."

"I love you." He chuckled, kissing the tip of her nose so fast she couldn't react. "That's a hundred and one. Now stay just like this for a few moments. I need to do a few things."

Curious, she allowed him to pull away, groaning as the movement caused his groin to press against her. The glide of his fingers as he trailed them across her skin made her itch to pull him back, but she forced herself to wait patiently as he used the remote to turn on the music then moved gracefully around the room to light the candles. The scent of the roses placed around the room and the petals spread across the bed filled the air. Rubbing one of the silky petals between her fingers, Bella watched with heavy eyes as Edward turned back toward her. The way he loosened his tie and pulled it away from his neck was erotic porn, and Bella pushed to her elbows to be able to fully appreciate his efforts.

"Damn," she muttered, and Edward smirked. It was a very seductive look.

"Enjoying the show?"

"I am, but I would appreciate a more . . ." she hummed then wiggled her fingers at him " . . . hands-on experience."

Chuckling, he sent his tie flying across the room. Edward stopped only to grab one of the long-stemmed, thornless roses before he joined her back on the bed and straddled her thighs. Bella's skin tightened when he used it to brush across her cheek. Her nipples pebbled into tight nubs when the silk of the flower tantalized her collarbone.

"Let me take my dress off," she offered.

He hummed his agreement.

Bella wanted to make it sexy, but couldn't. Perhaps if she'd been standing, she would've done a striptease, but nothing was worth making Edward move from on top of her. If she put an extra little shimmy in her hips as she moved, then it was only fair, considering how everything Edward did turned her on. When she managed to get the dress to her waist, he slid his hands over hers, taking over. He moved briefly, slowly stripped the dress the rest of the way down her legs.

Edward had a difficult time focusing through the haze of lust that surrounded him when he saw her underwear was the same dark blue as her dress.

His eyes darkened as he followed the pale of her skin from the delicate arch of her foot up the strong length of her leg. Showcased by the blue lace framing them, her breasts and toned stomach appeared luminous in the flickering candlelight.

"Fuck, you are so beautiful."

Picking up the rose he'd placed beside them, he resumed his position over her thighs before touching the furled tip to her lips.

"So fucking beautiful."

Bella shivered as he rolled the flower over her lips gently, but her fingers clenched in the smooth fabric of his comforter when the blood red petals traced down her neck, fluttering over her erratic pulse.

"So eager," he said in a husky voice. Lust darkened his eyes and a blush highlighted his cheeks.

Bella could guess what he saw as he gazed down at her, what caused him to look like a lion about to pounce. Her nipples strained eagerly through the silk of her bra, and she felt her stomach quivering. The room grew hot around them, passion fueling her racing pulse and pounding heart.

She gasped when he trailed the rose across her breast. Back and forth, he repeated the pattern until she could no more control her writhing than the frantic gasps of breath she sucked down.

"Please," she begged.

"Please what?" he asked darkly, leaning over to where their lips were a breath apart.

"Touch me."

He took her mouth again, and the kiss flared instantly. She screamed his name when he broke away to nibble across her jaw and down her neck, sinking his teeth into her slightly. He laved the spot gently with his tongue, soothing the sting. He ghosted barely-there kisses down her chest, stopping at the closure to her bra.

"I like this set. A lot. Just know, that's the only reason I'm not going to tear it off you."

She didn't doubt he meant it and could feel how tightly he was controlling his movements. Liquid fire collected between her thighs in response. Their eyes met, and the space between them crackled with energy.

Edward skimmed the rose back up the smooth column of her throat, and then his mouth covered hers in a kiss that made her whole body tingle. She moaned, and he stroked his tongue against hers, deepening the kiss.

Bella startled when the heat of his large hand embraced her breast, and intense need burst from deep within as he teased her tightened tip. Needing to touch him, Bella reached between them and stroked his erection through the fabric of his pants. Edward growled, the sound low and primitive.

"Too many clothes," she murmured and moved to unzip his pants, but his hand captured hers.

"Not yet."

Slowly, he sat up, dragging the petals of the flower across her peaked nipple. Edward's face grew dark with lust as he brushed the rose across her skin, making sure to torture her with pleasure as he paid attention to both breasts again and her bellybutton before laying the bud against her clit. The light weight of it was just enough to focus every ounce of her attention to the throbbing juncture between her legs.

"Edward," she moaned. Her hips moved restlessly in the cage of his strong thighs.

His smirk was anything but humorous. Leaving the rose where it lay, he leaned forward, capturing it between them and putting more pressure against her swollen flesh. She cried out at the feeling. While she reeled from the pleasure, he slipped his hands under her, pulling so her back arched. The position offered up her breasts in decadent fashion and he took advantage, sucking one taut nipple into his mouth. While his teeth drove her wild, he used his free hand to relieve her of her bra. Bella barely recognized the feel of his fingertips pushing the straps off her shoulders because the pain of his bites followed by soothing swipes of his tongue and lips drove her to a frenzy.

A long, steady pull at one overly sensitive peak caused her stomach to spasm, and Edward followed up with a grinding motion of his hips, taunting her with what they both wanted. Bella clenched in pleasure, shocked she was already at the precipice of an orgasm. Just as she thought she'd fall over the edge, Edward retreated, slowly lowering her to the bed and moving back so the pressure of the rose against her clit dissipated. She didn't know whether to scream in frustration or relief.

Picking up the stem, he brought it to his nose, taking a deep breath. "Fucking perfect."

Bella blushed at his words. She knew she was soaking wet, but the darkened parts of the petals told her how much.

"Bella, do you need the stuff for your nose?" He growled out, even as he continued to suck down deep breaths of the rose and her essence.

In answer, she knocked the small container she'd spied earlier off the bed, following it with a small kick of her leg toward the chains she'd also spotted at the end. The change in Edward's face at the sound of the restraints hitting the floor was dramatic. Bella couldn't quite say exactly what it was, but suddenly Edward was darker, more seductive . . . slightly dangerous in his need.

All but black eyes focused on her blue silk panties, he swore. "You are so fucking wet, and I plan to lap all of it up."

Her blood sizzled when he slowly touched his fingertip to her, drawing tiny circles around her clit. Teasing. Taunting. Capturing her gaze, he moved his hand under the silk, siding through the wetness. Her hips jerked at the intense desire, and she shuddered, unable to control how it felt or deny the need in both of their gazes.

Over and over, he brushed against her, always drawing back when he felt her about to orgasm. Crying, she reached for him, wanting, needing more.

"Shh . . ." he whispered, but it was anything but comforting. He was pushing her, taking them way past the barriers they'd already destroyed.

She wanted to spread her legs wide and beg him to touch her, but he kept her bound between his thighs. The most she could do as she lay before him was to grab his thighs and hang on. She was afraid he was going to have crescent scars across them from how tightly she held to him.

"Fuck, I really want to tear these off you," he muttered, his fingers clutching the small strap of silk that went across her hip.

"Ple . . ."

She didn't even get the word out before she felt a tug and heard the sound of the fabric tearing and felt the coolness between her thighs as he moved down. Kissing a path down her belly, he breathed hot air over her before she felt the first kiss of his lips on her. The craving tightened in her core as the hot, soothing press of his mouth enveloped her and she jerked in relief. Edward held her hips firmly, keeping her in place even as he lowered, spreading her legs so he could settle between them. The feel of his tongue sweeping over her made every thought vanish.

"You taste so good." His voice was rough, raspy . . . crushed velvet.

Pleasure raced through her; the sound of wetness as his tongue rasped over her, his groans of satisfaction and her moans of absolute abandon surrounded them.

The muscles in her stomach clenched as fire built, the pressure inside intense with each talented stroke of his tongue. Her breath caught and her hips bucked when he sucked her clit into his mouth. Overwhelmed, Bella didn't even realized he'd slipped two fingers into her, until she felt him move, the pads of his fingers brushing against her walls, nudging her g-spot. It was the first time Edward had touched inside her and the emotions of it were like throwing gasoline on a fire. The feel of his fingers in her as he tortured the soft pad of flesh sent her into spasms of heat, the rasp of his tongue, the brush of his soft hair against her thighs, the bite of his teeth . . .the agony and ecstasy coiled, sizzling her blood until she could feel nothing but the pleasure, nothing but the man between her thighs.

Bella exploded and the orgasm was so intense she saw spots before her eyes. Head tipped back, her mouth opened in a silent scream as wave after wave rushed over her, drowning her in a sea of release. Edward softened his caresses, soothing her as the orgasm continued to wrack her body, until she was boneless. It felt as if it went on for hours, the secondary spasms almost as intense as her first. Replete, Bella didn't even have the strength to reach for him, so she cried out in relief when Edward slowly crawled back over her, caging her between his arms. His kiss was tainted with her, and Bella found it oddly appealing . . . as if she had marked him in some way. She focused what little strength she had in meeting the gentle brush of his tongue in thanks.

Only one thing troubled her – the hard nudge of his erection against her still throbbing flesh.

"Edward . . . I want to touch you," she said softly between his kisses.

"Fuck, baby, you lay a finger on me and I'm going to go off like an explosion. Are you sure?" His voice was harsh with need, and the way he nipped her neck betrayed how close he was to losing control.

She realized he was referring to her decision to knock the ointment he'd designed for her to the floor.

"Yes."

He'd never taken off his clothes, which made her giggle as she found the energy to brush over the cloth covering his hard chest on the way to his zipper.

"Sorry, I planned to go much slower, but I lost control when I tasted you."

"You can lose control like that anytime."

He chuckled but the sound turned feral when she brushed over the head of his erection, her fingers surrounding him and tugging hard. His hips jerked into her, capturing her hand and his cock between them. Head thrown back, the tendons in the column of his throat stood out harshly.

"Damnit, I'm going to last all of two seconds when I finally get to feel you around me."

"My pussy sucking at you," she taunted, using the word she'd grown to hate, but now relished as a weapon against him.

His eyes glittered like fine emeralds as he stared down at her in a wolfish manner. "Yeah, when I'm able to fuck you into oblivion and feel your pussy pulsing around me greedily."

Her plan to drive him crazy with her words backfired, because he'd turned the tables. Her insides, still shuddering from the pleasure he'd given her, tightened at the image his words provoked. She paid him back by pumping him hard, spreading his precum around his cock. She shoved his pants down slightly with her other hand, cupping his balls. All the time, she watched his face as he poised above her - watched the heat flicker in his eyes, the way the fine blush darkened across his cheeks, and the parting of his lips as he panted.

"Fuck my hands," she taunted as she squeezed his balls slightly then released them to wrap her other hand around him. "Fuck my hands like you want to fuck me."

His reaction was to growl. "I'm going to make love to you first, Bella." He moved slowly easing his cock between her fingers. "I'm going to jack off or do whatever it takes so that I have control, and I'm going to taste every inch of you, have you begging for me, have you out of your mind with pleasure before I sink deep inside you. And only after I do that a million times will I . . . fuck you." He punctuated the last two words with two deep thrusts of his hips.

Bella shivered at the feel of him pushing against her. The cloth of his shirt tantalized her tender nipples and his pants brushed against her inner thighs. In that moment, she realized it was as close to her rape memories as she would ever get, but there was nothing left to terrorize her.

All because of Edward.

"Well then, fuck me now," she taunted, and it had the effect she desired.

Edward captured her lips, conquering her with his tongue as he moved between her hands, taking what he needed from her. He nipped her lips, ground against her, and uttered words she'd never heard from him. All the while, the bump of her hands against her clit as his cock slid between them stoked another wave of desire. Miraculously, when Edward came, shooting hot streams of come across her stomach, another orgasm slipped through her, softer waves than before, but no less pleasurable. And when he collapsed on her, Bella sighed.

Perfect.

It had been perfect.

The only thing that would've made it any more complete would've been to actually make love, to feel him inside her instead of the poor substitution of her hands. But that was coming. Soon.

"I'll move in a minute. I promise. Right now, my knees are weak." His chuckle rumbled softly between them.

While he was heavy, Bella didn't grumble. His weight pinning her was the last thing she would've thought would've brought comfort.

But it did.

~Honor~

"I know we've talked about having children, but we've never talked about how soon. I'm not sure I want to wait long, because I want a bunch," Bella said as she tucked a cracker covered with cheese into Edward's mouth.

They'd been starving when they finally roused from their post-coital bliss, so a snack of fruit, cheese, and crackers lay spread between them on his bed. Edward had even opened a bottle of white wine. The crisp taste was offset well by the sharp cheese and sweet tang of grapes and apples. It wasn't the taste, though, that had his mouth popping open, but her declaration.

"A bunch?" he responded when he finally chewed the snack enough to respond.

"Yeah, being an only child sucked at times, and I'm jealous of how close you and your brothers are. I had to make do with Jake, and let me tell you, he can be a pain in the ass sometimes. His only salvation was marrying Leah."

Chuckling, Edward brushed the hair away from her cheek, tucking the strand behind her ear gently. He smiled before saying, "Having a bunch of siblings can be a pain in the ass at times, too. I've been one step away from killing each of them on more than one occasion. Jamie was the worst, but it was his hellion nature that made us love him so much."

The subtle smile they shared was a testimony to the healing power of love. They could remember the man who had brought them together with smiles now, instead of tears. They were individually lost for a few moments in their memories of James. Bella's thoughts took her to a cocky Air Force pilot, while Edward's remembered a tow-headed child full of mischief.

"I owe him big time, considering he sent you my way." Edward rolled his eyes. "And, if he was here, he'd never let me live it down."

Bella could imagine just that. "Tell me something."

"Hmm . . ." He fed her a plump grape.

"I'm going to need your mom's help. Renee wasn't the best role model, and I've often wondered how good a mother I'd be. I don't want to screw our kids up. Do you think she'll think I'm too needy?"

He lowered the cracker he'd been fixing back to the platter. Capturing her hands, he held them, his thumbs rubbing small circles into her skin. "She'd be honored." He flashed her a grin. "And knowing her, she'll tell you to send all the teenage angst my way to make sure I get my just reward for all the grey hair I've given her over the years."

"You? No."

Bella should have known the sarcasm would spark a reaction. Her shrill laughter echoed throughout the room when Edward tackled her and his fingers danced along her ribs. By the time their wresting match was done, the bed was in shambles, the rose petals were stuck along their naked skin, the fruit was scattered across the floor, and they were both laughing hysterically amid the ruin.

~Honor~

Would love to know your thoughts and I hope you each are doing well.


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